Don't Forget Me
by ObsidianWing
Summary: "War is everywhere. Inside and outside the walls. It can't be avoided, and it can't be fixed. You can only embrace it and try to work around it. But never forget what it can do to others. What the madness makes people believe. Be strong. Be brave. And keep your blades sharp."
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: *Me watching Attack on Titan with friends."**_

 _ **Friend 1: "Dude, Armin looks so much like Mello it's insane!"**_

 _ **All of us: *Silence***_

 _ **Friends: *Look right to me***_

 _ **Me: *Opens laptop slowly***_

 _ **Friend 2: "Don't do it."**_

 _ **Me: *Opens up Word***_

 _ **Friend 2: "Don't you dare, bitch!"**_

 _ **Me: "... ... ...this was your own doing!"**_

 _ **So, yeah. This was happening. XD**_

 _ **I am going to be doing a crossover here, but there are a few things I should get out in the clear here.**_

 _ **Yes, Armin is my favourite character and it isn't because of Mello. Frankly, I think Armin is one of the best characters of the series because he's not stupid. He knows way more than anyone else, and he knows there's nothing to fear outside the walls other than Titans, and I admire him for being so strong and open-minded even when things look dark for him. (And let's face it, he's fricken adorable!)**_

 _ **Another thing, I've only seen a few episodes of the show, and read one or two books. So, much of the story is going to be a bit changed - especially if I'm adding in DN characters. I kinda stopped when things got waaay too dark for me to handle. Plus, Eren is kind of... intense. A kid shouldn't suffer through PTSD... it's way too much for them.**_

 _ **Now, another thing that I'm going to switch around is the whole parents issues. I get that more than a few died, and some of that isn't changing, but there's one thing that bugs me more than anything...**_

 _ **...what the hell happened to Armin's parents? We saw Eren's mom get killed by a Titan, Mikasa lost hers to scummy ass-wipes (Was not pleased with learning that), but Armin's is a mystery. In the anime it's said that they were planning to go outside the wall, but in the manga it's said that they were killed off. So... I'm fixing things around here.**_

 _ **You'll see what I mean.**_

 _ **Like I said, I'm not wholly familiar with the franchise as I have yet to continue watching it, but I still have this idea floating around in my head that I need to type out. It'll be a rather slow story though so be patient with me. :)**_

 _ **Anyway, hope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and if you have any ideas for me - or some corrections - let me know!**_

* * *

 **(Mello P.O.V)**

"Da will be home today, right?" I asked in what would be my smaller voice. Lord knows I was loud most of the time.

My mother giggled, adjusting Armin to a more comfortable position in her hold. "Possibly. That's what he told us in his last letter. He might be later though."

"But why?" I whined. "He's always away with the soldiers, and we never see him!"

My mother hummed at this. "I know, darling. But he has to go away in order to scout the walls outside. He always comes home though. And he always tells us what's happening in his letters. Try to understand that."

I did understand that. I just didn't like it.

My father, Memphis, was a Squad leader of the Survey Corps. Which meant we didn't see him too often because of his duty. He 'ventured outside the walls in exploration and the eventual reclamation of human territory from Titan-infested lands' as he'd put it, so – in a sense – he was always away. But, like my mother had said, he always came back. Thankfully, he would head into early retirement soon in order to spend more time with his family. His squad was only in town for one week though for rest and supplies.

Everyone marveled at my father's prowess. Not once, in his time as leader, did his squad lose its members to the titans. They were tactical, fast, and deadly. I once overheard someone say that my father could cut your head off and you wouldn't know it until you were dead. I almost believed it too. With how much he reminds me that a sword is only as good as the arm that swings it, I'd believe he was capable of anything that had to do with sharp objects.

Too bad he wouldn't show me any of his moves.

I climbed up onto the boxes of supplies beside me to get a better view over my mother's garden. We'd been outside all day waiting for my father to return with his squad but nothing was happening. Even my little brother had fallen asleep he'd been so bored. Or… maybe it was because he was a toddler. I didn't really know.

I heard my mother's friend, Grisha I think his name was, chuckle before speaking.

"That boy has so much of his father in him it's scary." He readjusted his son in his arms to keep him from squirming before he continued. "I hope Eren doesn't end up that high strung. It might just put me into an early grave."

My mother giggled. "Mihael, get down from there and come hold your little brother while I get the tea."

I grumbled. "Can't _I_ just go get the tea? Last time I held Armin he spit up on me!"

"That was when he was only a few days old." She reminded me. "He's two now, and more than capable of keeping his food down."

"Until I hold him." I muttered begrudgingly.

My mother groaned but before she could argue with me some more her other friend – Kalura I believe? - took Armin from her.

"I got this little one. It's alright, Selena."

The woman sighed thankfully as she stood. "Thank you, Kalura. At least _someone_ helps me out."

I ignored the fact that she directed that to me before she left to grab the tea. I wasn't good with children, especially toddlers. I didn't want them in my future, and I didn't want them now! Why my parents had another baby was beyond my reasoning. Wasn't I good enough? Or maybe they were trying to replace me.

I sighed to myself before leaning against the boxes. Even after two years with that brat I still didn't like him all that much. Even if my parents pay attention to me as much as they do him, it just felt… weird, having him around. Like he stole them away from me. I guess that was just me being paranoid, but I still didn't like having to share a bedroom with a squealing little brat. Especially when he jumped out of his crib and crawled into my bed to cuddle me. I needed my space, but he just didn't understand that. Maybe because he wasn't even old enough to understand it, but my parents could have at least moved him into a different room.

Perhaps when the basement was cleared I could stick him down there.

I suddenly heard the sound of horses in the distance and I immediately looked over the fence in excitement.

Just as I'd thought. The Scouts had returned!

I wasted no time in jumping the fence and running for the road to be the first to greet my father. It had always been me he saw first when he came home, from the moment I was able to jump the fence. Yes, I'd nearly broken my leg the first time doing so, but now I was perfect at landing on the other side without any trouble.

I got to the front of the house to see a tall, muscular, blonde man dismounting his horse. He wore his usual brown leather coat and green hood, along with the gear given to him for what I only knew as flying. I was told the correct term for it years ago, but to me… it was flying.

The man turned to see me and he smiled brightly. "You've grown, my boy!"

I giggled happily and ran in to hug him. He picked me up into his arms and swung me around happily, chuckling at my overzealousness. He accepted it though since he knew I'd been waiting for what felt like forever for him to return.

My mother soon joined us with Armin in her arms and her friends behind her. They all hugged him happily and congratulated him on another successful return. All limbs and lives accounted for.

Just like my da to prove how great he was!

"It feels good to be home!" He said happily as he set me down, turning to mother. "And how is our youngest, my dear?"

"Tired," she chuckled out, "but healthy."

The man opened his arms and soon he was holding the sleeping toddler.

The tiny blonde woke up almost instantly and was surprised to see a new face holding him. He soon smiled though and hugged the man happily, squealing 'Da!' in the process.

The blonde man hugged him back. "I'm happy to see you too, Armin. And I'm glad to see you looking much healthier than before."

"You may thank Grisha for that, my dear." My mother spoke up. "He helped bring down the fever."

"Of course, anything for an old friend!" The man with long brown hair replied. "Besides, I don't think Eren would forgive me if I hadn't done anything. Lord knows that child has favoured Armin since the day they met."

My father hugged the medic happily. "Thank you, Grisha. I owe you my life for taking care of my family."

"Think nothing of it, Memphis. Your family has always been good to mine. I would help you all in a heartbeat if asked."

Kalura hummed happily, rocking her toddler to sleep. "That goes double for me as well. Anytime you need a babysitter, don't hesitate to ask."

My father placed a hand on my head, ruffling my hair. "I doubt you can handle Armin and _this_ little terror on your own! I know he can be a handful."

I turned away from him when he said this. Somehow I considered being called a terror an insult.

"Maybe," Kalura replied, "but he has a heart of gold. He just needs to grow a little more in maturity to see that."

"I don't _need_ to do anything." I replied back. "I'm perfect the way I am. I always will be."

"And modest too, I see." My father retorted. "For an eight year old, you think mighty high of yourself my boy!"

I moved away from his hand on my head. "You always taught me to be proud of myself. And I am! I can read and write, I'm strong and resilient, and I know how to knock a few heads around if someone doesn't like what I have to say. Face it, I'm perfection!"

The adults joined in on a laugh together after I said this but I couldn't tell why. Yes, maybe I was a bit big headed, but that only meant that I respected and loved myself the way I was. And that meant I changed for no one.

When they calmed down my father patted my back. "Go get your coat son. We're going to the docks for a celebration tonight on our return. Don't forget the baby bag as well."

I blinked at this but just shrugged and ran off to grab my things.

Adults could be so weird sometimes.

* * *

 **(Memphis P.O.V)**

"Memphis, that child will rule the world someday, I guarantee it." Grisha promised me. "High and mighty, just like you. I could almost see the passion and fire behind those eyes."

I shrugged, still smiling. "That boy _will_ rule the world, my friend. In one way or another, he will rule the world."

"And in that world he will leave a trail of broken hearts behind him." Selena mentioned. "Some of the local girls all try to talk to him but he keeps ignoring them. Poor little girls. Lord knows he'll just continue that streak when he's older."

"He'll break a million hearts, I promise you." Kalura jumped in. "Each more broken than the last."

I rolled my eyes at this but chuckled anyway. "He'll be a lot like me then. Up until he finds number one million and one, like my dearest Selena here."

The blonde woman before me took the toddler out of my arms with a slight chuckle. "And I'd better be your number one out of all of them."

"Darling, you are my _only_ one." I bowed to her.

Her response was merely an eye-roll.

When Mihael came back with his things and the baby bag, we were off to the docks to celebrate our return. After this, a whole week with my family to spend.

I couldn't have been happier.

* * *

 _ **Meanwhile**_

* * *

 **(Matt P.O.V)**

The garrison were right stupid if they couldn't capture a small kid in an ally-way. Honestly, they thought they were tough for fighting against supposed titans? I doubt they could murder a fly.

I dodged into another ally and climbed up a set of boxes lined outside one of the shops before heading to the roofs. I suppose that was a mistake though since the garrison did have those machines that made them whip through the air like a dragonfly, but I was too sure I could out maneuver them. Besides, I doubt they really knew how to use them anyhow. All they knew was how to get drunk and eat bread. Bread that could go to the starving, but ended up in their gullets instead. It was more than the reason for my dislike of them.

Especially when they chased me for stealing their undeserved food.

I managed to lose the officers that were chasing me by hiding in the shadow of another home, and went the opposite way of where they left. Truly, I was a master at the art of thievery.

But it hadn't always been that way.

There was a time I had a home. When I had a mother and father. It didn't last long though. My father got drunk and wandered off, and my mother committed suicide. I hadn't known them that well aside from that. I can remember getting a few bruises from my drunk father, but that was about it. I doubt either of them actually loved me anyhow.

As soon as they were gone… I just left.

I'd been born in the Utopia District, but after a while of travel I ended up in Shiganshina. It wasn't that much better here than in Utopia, but there were more guards to mess about with. Drunken bastards.

Other than traveling around, there wasn't much for me wherever I went. No one wanted me, and no one saw a use for me. I was just some lonesome, parentless, bastard child that had nothing to his name. The most I had were the clothes on my back. Even then, it wasn't much.

I munched on my bread as I began patrolling about on the rooftops. I'd gotten to the docks going this was and saw that a festival was happening. I suppose they were celebrating the return of the Survey Corps.

A lot of good they did… but I guess they did more than the garrison.

I sat down on the roof, taking in another bite of bread. "Damn soldiers. Useless, every one of 'em."

"That so, ya little brat!?"

I turned around fearfully to catch a glimpse of one of the soldiers making a grab for me before jumping off the roof into a pile of hay.

I guess my run would have to continue.

They chased after me up the street and down a few blocks before I leapt into a shop window and ran through the store to get to the rear exit. This led me into another ally where I bolted down to the street that lay ahead. Once I made it into the crowd, I was off scot free!

Right as I was about to exit the ally-way…

… _he_ appeared.

It was like everything went at the pace of a snail. I was running, the wisp of blonde hair appeared before me, the face turned to see me, and I skidded to a halt. It wasn't that fast of a stop though since I still managed to nearly crash into him, our noses touching and our eyes meeting. For a brief moment, I thought I'd been staring into the sky instead of two large eyes. It took me by surprise how bright they were, and I had to catch my breath after for fear I'd pass out from their stunning shine. I'd never met anyone with eyes like his…

…

…and I loved them.

We stayed in place for a few moments, our eyes not leaving each other's and our noses still touching. I was speechless.

I took a step back to give him some room. "Uh… um…"

He blinked at me before relaxing his stance. "Hi…"

I felt my heart quiver. His voice was angelic.

"H-hi."

He grinned slightly. "What's your name?"

I blinked, revelling in his voice. "Umm… Mail. Mail Jeevas. But you can call me Matt. I like it a lot better than Mail."

His grin widened as he held out his hand. "Mihael Keehl. But you can call me Mello."

I took his hand, mentally remarking to myself how soft his skin was. "Why Mello?"

He shrugged. "My grandfather calls me that. He said it was an 'ironic nickname'."

"Well I like it!" I complimented. "It suits you."

He giggled. "Not as much as you think."

"Mihael!" Came an older voice. "Son, where'd you go!?"

"Over here, Da!" The blonde called. "I'm with a friend!"

Suddenly, a tall soldier with the Survey Corps crest on his jacket popped out from behind a booth. I almost wet myself at how tall this man was. Not to mention he was a soldier.

So then… would he know who I was?

Mello introduced me. "This is Matt! We just met! Could he stay over tonight!?"

Stay over? At his place? This was kind of soon… but I'm up for it!

"Matt eh?" He questioned, kneeling down to look at me better. "Where are your parents my boy?"

I blinked. "Uh…"

"Got ya!"

I shrieked slightly as someone hoisted me up into their arms and held me tight. I tried to squirm but it was no use. I couldn't get out of this one. I was more embarrassed than scared anyway because Mello was seeing all this.

"Let me go, you pig!" I screamed, trying to kick him away. "I got nothing!"

"You little whelp, you took food from our storage! Now cough it up or we'll cut it outta ya!"

"Bite me!" I growled.

"Hold on here!" Came the tall man's voice. "What is going on!?"

The pig soldier snorted. "This little cur took food from the Garrison. He's wanted with the crimes of theft, breaking and entering, and destruction of property."

The man was quiet. "I see… and how old are you, my boy?"

"Uh… e-eight, ser." I replied worriedly.

"Oh? Only eight?" He asked. "But what about your parents?"

I shrugged slightly. "My momma's dead, ser. And my pops walked off in a drunken stupor right before she killed herself."

"Hmm… I see." Came his reply before he looked at the officer. "Set him down."

He did as asked, if not begrudgingly, and the tall man leaned down to me once more. This time, with a small smile on his face.

"And how long have you been dodging the Garrison?"

I shrugged again. "Two years?"

"Really?! That's quite a feat for someone as young as yourself!" He complimented, making me grin back at him.

He then put a hand on my shoulder. "Tell you what… how would you like to join the cadets up in the Trost district?"

"What!" Came the officer's reply. "You can't be serious, chief! This little runt…!"

"Has been one step ahead of you and the Garrison for years." He interrupted, looking up at the soldier. "And I think he'd do well in service of the King."

"He wouldn't last two days!"

"He lasted two years without parents or even your help. I think he'll be alright. But it is his choice. Be on the run? Or train to be a soldier?" He then looked back at me. "What will it be Matt?"

Although I hated the corps with every fibre of my being… I suppose it was best to be fed and kept warm than live out in the cold for another winter.

I nodded to the man. "I'll join."

"Perfect!" The tall blonde said happily, standing up. "Yagami! Front and center!"

A young brunette suddenly appeared in front of us and saluted respectively to the man. "Yes ser?"

"Take our newest recruit here to the Trost district. Get him fitted for a cadet uniform and get to training him. This one will be a great asset to us."

"But… ser, what about…"

"I know you had your heart set on the mission around the wall, but training comes first. We need the best of the best, and this one will prove his worth in no time. Mentor him, be an older brother to him. I trust you make him into a fine soldier."

The brunette sighed, but saluted again. "I'll do my best, ser."

"Good man!"

Before I was whisked away by the teen soldier I felt someone grab my arm and pull me back. It was Mello.

He smiled happily. "Promise you'll come see me when training is over."

I smiled back. "I promise."

With that, we were off.

But first…

"What's your name?" I asked the teen.

He grinned slightly. "Light. Light Yagami."

"Don't see a lot of you guys around anymore." I commented.

"The Asian kind?"

"The pretty boy kind. I think we're all inbred or something."

The teen laughed at this. "Humanity was on the verge of extinction a hundred years ago. It wouldn't surprise me if we were inbred."

With that, I had a whole new friend.

* * *

 **(Memphis P.O.V)**

"I like him." Mihael commented. "I hope I see him again."

There was something in his voice that sounded… off. Not bad. But off. Almost like he was in a dreamy kind of state.

"There you two are." I heard Selena call from behind us. "What's going on?"

Mihael didn't seem to notice her. He was too busy staring off in the direction where Matt had gone.

I chuckled slightly. "A million minus one, my dear."

"Hmm? What do you mean?"

I nudged her to look down at the small blonde and she almost immediately knew what I meant.

"I see…" she hummed out. "Was it a nice little lady?"

I giggled. "A nice young lad."

She hid the giggles well, but I could see the excitement in her eyes. "Best we find this out now rather than later."

"I concur."

I put a hand on Mihael's shoulder. "Come along, son. The celebration has only begun."

He nodded silently and followed, his eyes still lingering on the path where Matt had walked. Seeing my boy like this, happy instead of angry or prideful, was a god sent. Especially in a world run by monsters that threatened us day in and day out.

But when something like this happened… it was like none of them mattered. It was just the love that existed.

And I hoped it would stay that way for a long time to come.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and if you have any ideas for me - or some corrections - let me know!**_

* * *

 **(Mello P.O.V)**

 _"I'll be home soon, Mihael. I promise."_

 _I sniffled. "But it's still a long time."_

 _"One month, my boy. And I'll write to you any chance I get. After this I'm in retirement and I'll train you to be a cadet. I promise you."_

 _I hugged him tightly, still sniffling. "I'll train by myself until you come back. I'll be ready for the corps, you'll see."_

 _"Oh, my little Mihael. You will indeed rule the world. A strong little man like you can only have bright things in your future. For now, there is darkness. But there will always be light. Do not forget that."_

 _"I won't, da. I won't."_

"I won't." I repeated to myself, sifting through pages of my story for errors. I'd needed something to take my mind off of things.

My father usually sent a letter before he returned. He sent a letter a week before he would be back home. But there was nothing. I worried he'd met with a terrible fate, but I could only assume he'd forgotten. Perhaps he lost track of time. It was hard to believe since he always put his family first before anything else. Especially when I demanded at least a few letters from him every now and then. So what happened?

I took a breath and backed away from my story. Lord knows I wasn't paying attention to it anyway. I was too afraid of what had happened to my father. It had been two days since he was supposed to return but nothing. He was late, and he'd never been late before in his past.

Could that mean…

"Mihael?" I heard Armin say from his crib.

He didn't speak much since he was only two and very shy, but he said my name perfectly. No stutter or mispronunciation. He was on the mark. I guess it was kinda cute, but I still didn't like sharing a room with him.

I got up from my seat and trotted over to his crib, peaking in over the railing. "You okay, little brother?"

He held his hands out to me and I sighed.

"Of course you want to be picked up." I mumbled before lowering the railing. "Come on then."

He clambered into my arms and I carried him over to my bed. From there he sat in my lap as I read out my story, still looking for errors. It wasn't a good story, but I was a nut for perfection.

Armin tapped my cheek to get my attention. "Story?"

I hummed at this before sighing yet again. "You want a story? What kind of story?"

"Happy." Was his reply. "Happy story."

I grumbled. "Fine then. But no sleeping on my bed. You're going back in the crib if I see you nodding off."

He seemed to understand since he nodded, but what did I know right? I couldn't speak his baby language, and he couldn't speak hardly at all. We practically knew nothing about each other.

I took a breath and began a story for him. It didn't last very long however since I heard the sound of horses coming in from down the road. When I got excited about this, Armin giggled and got excited as well.

I set the toddler on the bed and ran for the front door. I knew my mother was going to come in and grab him anyway. And like I'd said, I was always the first to greet my father when he came home.

Always.

…

…but it wasn't my father I would be greeting.

I opened the door to see a semi-tall red headed man with his arms in the salute my father had practiced. He was wholly unfamiliar to me.

"Good evening lad. Would your mother be in at the moment?" He asked.

I didn't answer. Something about his voice, low and somber, sent shivers down my spine. I didn't like it. I didn't like it one bit. Something was wrong.

My mother stepped in suddenly, Armin in her grasp. "What's going on? Where is my husband?"

He took a moment to take a breath. That I liked least of all. Like he was preparing for the worst.

"Madam, while on the scouting mission we met with a few of the five metre class titans, as well as one fifteen metre titan. All were dispatched… but… your husband suffered major injuries."

"What…" my mother practically whispered. "Where is he? What's happened to him!?"

"He's in our care… but he wishes to see you."

"I'm coming too!" I exclaimed.

He was wary of this. "My boy… you may not like what you see…"

"I don't care! That's my da! Take us to him!" I nearly yelled.

The man gave in with a small sigh. "Alright then. Please, follow me."

I hurried to follow the man with my mother tailing behind me. I could feel my heart racing in my chest with fear. My father never got hurt on missions, so why now all of a sudden? What had happened!? Did someone else do this to him!? Did someone lead the titans to him!? Those bastards! I'll kill them if I find out that's what happened!

The man led us to a large tent where more than a few people were gathered around. All of them were soldiers, and more than a few had been recently injured. Something told me though… that none of them had it worse than who was in the tent.

Sadly… my father was the only one in the tent.

We walked in and I felt my heart still.

He lay there, motionless, bandages over his eye, his head, his chest… and over the stump that was once his arm.

The nurse who was bandaging him looked up to find us, and my father's eyes turned to us. The look of fear in his eye was wholly unfamiliar to me. He was always strong, always fearless, and always stood up taller than the rest. But this… this wasn't him. This wasn't my da.

The man before me blinked, and a single tear fell down his cheek. "Mihael,"

I nearly flinched when he spoke. His voice was not like it was before.

I swallowed my breath, fought the tears away, and strode up to his side. Without breaking one single tear I took his hand into my mine – which had to be done with both my hands since I was so small – and hugged his arm to my chest.

I swallowed back the tears and smiled half-heartedly. "You forgot to write."

He chuckled weakly before gesturing to his bag that had been discarded on the other side of the tent. "Was attacked while writing it. I'd never forget to write to you, son."

I hugged his only arm once more. "At least you got away with your life."

"More than a few could say. I'm happy about that." He coughed out.

I kept up my smile, biting down the need to cry. "Do you still hurt?"

He shook his head, still smiling weakly. "Not right now, no. Not with you being so brave."

My mother suddenly put a hand on my shoulder. "Darling, could you take Armin home and wait there for me? I won't be long. I just need a moment with your father alone."

I nodded to her and let go of my father's arm, trading it for Armin. After this, I just left the tent, not bothering to say good bye to my da. I think I was too scared to. I didn't want that to be the last thing I said to him.

Goodbye meant forever. And I didn't want to lose him yet.

All the soldiers were stunned to see me walk out of there without a tear in the eye. I even heard a few whisper how brave I had been. I didn't like that. Bravery wasn't hiding away tears like a child.

But adults could be weird some days.

Grisha and Kalura had met me at the end of the fray with Eren and took Armin from me before we headed back to my home. When I was certain no one was looking at me, I sniffled…

...then I cried…

…

…and I sobbed.

Why… why did this have to happen!? Why did my father get hurt! Why did god do this to him! Why did they take his arm! Why did they break him! Why! WHY!

WHY!

I don't know where I found the things I threw, but I threw them. Logs bricks, sticks, anything that could make a sound in the silence of my mind! I needed something to break! I needed to destroy something! ANYTHING! I needed the world to burn! I needed to see the world crumble around me so I could see my own wasn't the only one broken! I needed destruction!

I felt someone grab me and hold me close. Grisha, I think. But I still squirmed to be free. I didn't want to be held! I wanted to destroy things!

"Mihael, stop this!" The man demanded loudly.

I didn't stop. I kept squirming, wailing loudly and demanding to be let go.

"STOP IT RIGHT NOW!"

I finally stopped when I heard him yell. I just sat in his arms, waiting for him to speak.

He loosened his grip. "It's alright, my boy. I know you're hurting right now, but you have to be strong. Your parents need you. You brother needs you. You must show some strength and take care of those around you. Your father will need all the help you can offer. The man would do the same for anyone else. Follow in that and do what you know is right for your family. Grieve and be angry for now, but do not make things worse for yourself or your loved ones."

I sniffled slightly before letting the tears fall. "I'm sorry. I just…"

"I know. I'm upset as well. But you have to be strong. Be brave. You already showed you can be both by seeing your father the way he was. Now show it by taking care of him and your mother. They'll need you now more than ever."

"But… I'm just a kid."

"You're a tougher kid than you let on. And I know you can do anything you set your mind to. Just like your da."

I sniffled once again before wiping away the tears. "I'll… I'll try. For momma… for da."

He hugged me closely then. "Grieve today, but wake up tomorrow and show your strength."

I nodded. "I will."

I will.

My father was let out of the infirmary a week later when his stitches were alright and cleaned. The commander of the Survey Corps awarded him with a medal of valor and released him from his duties as squad leader.

After that… came the real change.

I'd woken up one morning to find my father trying to cook for himself. My mother had been with Armin and he was having difficulty with the eggs.

So I stepped in.

I made the eggs, cut the fruit, and sliced the bread he'd wanted. For lunch I did the same. Made the food and served it. Then dinner. Then repeat on the next day. After this I would do chores to help my mother out, or keep Armin company for her while she did the shopping or gardening. Then after a few weeks I did the shopping, finding the better deals and helping out my mother a bit more. Then I did the gardening when she couldn't.

After a while… I was doing everything.

Wake up, make breakfast – which I did in record timing now – helped Armin with his clothing, since he was growing rapidly now, go out and get some yard work done, then leave for the square to make a buck or two while also finding things to buy for myself and the family, then come home and make dinner. My mother made lunch since she was almost home constantly now, especially after having twin girls a year or two after my father's encounter with the titans. Armin was not always pleased about having to share a home with girls, but I found it nice. Especially since now Armin knew why I disliked him for so long.

We still shared a room together, but things were much nicer now than before. Especially since he could talk more and share thoughts.

I became the provider, the negotiator, and the most depended on. I was okay with this. Especially since it took some weight off the family's shoulders. Once in a while I had time to myself, and I always used that time to get money for myself. I'd even borrowed my grandfather's guitar when he moved in with us after grandmother's passing. He taught me the correct notes, and then off I was to the square. I didn't make much, but it was a nice way to pass the time. And more than a few people looked forward to my playing when things got too boring.

All the while, I smiled happily. Showing my family that this was something I did because I wanted to. I lost much of my childhood because of this…

…but my father was happy. He was healthy.

Everyone was.

And that was all that I needed…

…right?


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and if you have any ideas for me - or some corrections - let me know!**_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

I managed to push myself up and onto my feet again, but I still hurt from the events. Eren and Mikasa weren't here to help me today, but I didn't really want them to. It wasn't like I was worth protecting anyway. Not when I did nothing worth protecting. Not like my mother or father…

…or my brother.

I took a breath, feeling my chest give a dull ache from where I'd been hit, then pushed off from the wall. Steadily, I made my way back home.

I didn't get to swallow down the pain before someone saw me, however.

"Armin!"

I closed my eyes. That voice was too familiar.

I turned around to see an older blonde running up to me worriedly. "Aren't you supposed to be at the market, Mihael?"

He grumbled slightly before wiping the dirt off of my face. "What happened?"

"Nothing…"

"Armin," he warned, "don't you lie to your brother. I will get mom and dad involved."

I sighed heavily. "Just some older kids. They beat me up when I started talking about what was outside the wall. About going to see for myself. They called me heretic."

Mihael growled angrily as he fixed my shirt. "Don't listen to them, you hear me! They're nothing but sheep, conformists, nothing but useless. They have no minds of their own, not like you or me. Just keep believing what you want and keep your head held high."

He then hugged me close. "I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you."

I shook my head. "Don't be. You couldn't have done anything. The garrison would have said something if you'd done something to them."

He scoffed, looking back into my eyes. "The garrison are nothing more than pigs, Armin."

"Pigs with weapons." I reminded him.

He scoffed again as he stood up. "Like they know how to use them properly." He then held out his hand. "Let's go home. I'm making fish tonight."

I got excited about this. "Salmon?!"

He grinned. "Your favourite."

I grabbed his hand and started pulling him towards home. "Let's get going then! I'm starved!"

The older blonde chuckled and followed happily.

I'd always loved and respected Mihael. Out of everyone in our family he took care of us the most. He cooked, cleaned, did the yard work, gardened, and he provided for us. Whatever money he made he saved up for himself and us. It wasn't much, but each week on a specific day he went to the square to play his guitar and more than a few people awarded him with applause and coin. Sometimes people would join in and make jokes or stories to go along with the music, but most times it was just him. It earned him more than a few looks from everyone in Shiganshina.

But then… it could just be his looks altogether.

My poor father. His boys looked nothing like him. Both myself and Mihael were fair skinned and thin like our mother. I didn't walk with the same grace as Mihael, but we both shared a similar smile that lit up the room. The only thing of our father's that we shared with him was our courage. Well… Mihael had more courage than I did, definitely. But I wasn't as afraid of things as I used to be. Plus, I wasn't afraid to speak my mind anymore. But Mihael always stood up for what he believed in, even if the garrison got in his way a few times. Lucky him though, the soldiers mistook him for a female one too many times so he usually got off scot free. He used it to his advantage, but more than a few soldiers knew the truth about him now.

It didn't really stop them from trying their way though.

I was ten, but I wasn't dumb. I knew what the soldiers wanted from my brother and I didn't like it one bit. He wasn't a toy for them to play with, and he wasn't a whore that jumped into bed with the first person who asked. He deserved more respect than that. Sadly, it wasn't something he could help. He was fair, he was thin, and he had a proud stride to him that only invited more attention. My mother and father used to say that he'd rule the world. I didn't understand it until I saw how much influence he had around town. I sometimes wondered if I'd ever have that same effect.

Fat chance. Not when I was so scared of everything around me. Mihael could strut, but I clomped around ungracefully and childlike. Yes, I was a child… but I didn't like being one.

What I wouldn't give to be taken seriously.

We made it to our street when a new voice came out of nowhere.

"Hey, Mello!" The sultry voice spoke up. "Haven't seen you in a while."

Mihael grumbled. "Yesterday was considered 'a while' to you, Jim?"

A tall, semi-muscular teen dropped in from the sky. Whipping his brown hair from his face after he landed. "Twenty four hours feels like twenty four days, lovie. Especially when you coop yourself up in that home of yours."

"That's what happens when you have a mother, father, grandfather, and three siblings to feed. Especially when one of the family is missing an arm."

"Your da is fine! That old bastard could survive anything. Besides, isn't the doc working to get him a new arm?"

"Grisha can't get the materials for a while yet, and the science is going to take a bit to get working correctly." Mihael informed.

"Oh please," the soldier replied, "we both know he's getting that arm soon. You're just worrying too much about the negatives."

"No, I'm worried about what it will do to my father's health." The blonde growled angrily. "If they infect him we have nothing to help with that. Not to mention we don't know what the arm will do once it's put into place. It would work, or make matters worse. If that's the case, I have to be around and take care of things."

My brother patted my back and we began to walk away from the soldier. But, of course, he wasn't done yet.

"Come on, Mello! Come have a drink with us! You work yourself too hard! They'll be fine without you for one night!"

The blonde chuckled. "I'd sooner drink with the fishermen than with you! The sailors have more manners than you or your league ever will!"

With that, we were gone.

I asked Mihael about him but he shrugged it off, saying he was nothing but scum. I didn't ask anything further, knowing it would just make him more angry.

Mihael had hated the soldiers for a long while now. Not necessarily all of them, but the ones that did nothing at all for the good of mankind. The ones that were outside the wall and helping to rediscover old human settlements were the ones he respected. Any others he was not fond of. And I could see why, especially with that Jim character looking up and down my brother like he was a pig ready for slaughter. Honestly, I believed the sailors _did_ have more manners than most of the soldiers put together.

We got to our home and we walked in to find Eren and his father there helping out our father.

I immediately ran to Eren and he welcomed me with a hug. "Good to see you're still alive, Armin! I was scared to let you go home on your own."

"Indeed." His father replied, still focussed on his work. "We would have walked you home had you waited a bit longer."

"That's alright." I said quietly. "I was going to meet Mihael in the market anyway. But, err…"

Eren got angry. "But you got jumped again, didn't you? Those bloody…!"

"It's okay, Eren. I'm fine." I reassured. "Just a bit bruised."

"Nothing your favourite dinner can't help." Mihael commented happily, turning to Grisha. "We have plenty. Would you and Eren like to stay and eat?"

"The boy cooks the best salmon!" My father replied. "I swear it!"

"We'd love to stay." Grisha replied. "I'll be here a bit longer anyhow with this arm not acting as it should."

"Should I got let mom know?" Eren asked his father.

"Yes, and bring me my kit as well. I have a feeling I'm at a breakthrough with this prosthetic."

The brunette nodded before grabbing my hand. "Come on! I'm not going alone!"

"Like I'd be able to help you if you get beat up too!" I slightly joked.

"Oh shut it! I did alright last time!" He exclaimed as he pulled me out the door.

"Yeah, because Mikasa got involved after you got hit!"

"Shut up!"

I giggled at him before waving back at my father and brother. I'd be back soon, but I had a habit of making sure they were alright before I left. They usually were, but I was never certain.

Our run turned into a walk and Eren started to ask questions.

"So did your brother beat them up, or did he arrive after?"

"Had he been there to help I wouldn't be hurting as much." I reasoned to him. "Then again… I think he'd embarrass me if he knocked them out."

"You're lucky to have him." He complimented. "I'd kill for an older brother. One that agreed with me and my decisions."

"You're still thinking about joining the corps?" I asked worriedly. "But what about your parents? What would they think?"

He shrugged. "Why do you think I'm not telling them? Maybe when I reach the proper age for the cadets I'll tell them, but only after I've signed up."

"You think your mother won't notice you zipping around on the gear?" I teased. "Or when you go home covered in titan blood?"

"You know it doesn't work like that!" He exclaimed as he pushed me playfully. "I mean I'd run off and join then send a letter home. After that, I think I'd give them a few years before going home and explaining what I'd done and why I did it. I don't feel like getting yelled at so early into my career as a soldier."

"But which group would you join? The garrison, the military police brigade…?"

"Survey Corps." He said proudly.

"What?!" I nearly yelled, stopping in my tracks. "Eren, that's suicide! Didn't you see what those titans did to my father!?"

"But we get to leave the wall, Armin. A dream we've had since… ever! Have you forgotten?!"

"No, but I don't exactly want my head torn off by a titan as an excuse to see what's beyond the wall. There's got to be more options than that."

"Well, for the moment, it's my only option. But relax. It won't be for another two years at the very least! We'll have tons of time to figure this out!"

I didn't like how cheery he was about it… but I guess he was right. We had months to find a way out. Years. Even my brother was looking to find a way out, however much he denied it. But who could resist the call of what was unknown? Especially when it was so close to us?

I really hope we could leave soon. Even in titan infested lands, it had to be better than this glorified cage we lived in now.

* * *

 ** _Later That Night_**

* * *

"Mihael, why do all those people look at you like that?" I asked innocently, climbing into bed.

The older blonde looked up from his writing. "What do you mean?"

I cuddled into my blanket. "Why do they look at you all creepy like that? It's annoying, and you always turn them down, but they keep doing it."

He only shrugged. "I haven't a clue. They're all hormone crazed idiots. That's all I can tell you."

"But… you aren't female. Shouldn't they not like you then?"

This time he chuckled. "You really don't understand it quite yet but it isn't always boy and girl, Armin. Sometimes a boy can like a boy, and a girl can like a girl."

"I already get that." I huffed out, sitting up. "But the soldiers always talk about how that kind of thing is wrong and should be abolished, but yet they go after you. It doesn't make sense."

"Hypocrites, Armin. They're nothing more than hypocrites. They say one thing and do the other. It's rather pathetic. But don't worry about it too much. I'm not."

"Well that's 'cause you never worry about anything. You've always been stronger than me. But I always ask questions. People tell me it's annoying, but I can't help it. The world is too fascinating for me not to question it. So then… why should I be punished for it?"

I noticed as I was talking Mihael got very quiet. Like he'd been distracted by a thought. He snapped out of it quickly enough, but I could tell when something was bugging him. He would go quiet and not say a word, but he'd still force a grin out. He did that a lot. Forcing smiles and grins past his true emotions. He did that a lot to save us the worry, but I could always tell when he was upset. Call it a bond between brothers, but maybe it was because I'd always analyzed people.

I did that a lot nowadays.

He got up from his seat, forcing a grin to me. "You should go to bed. You're coming with me to the square tomorrow and I need you up bright and early for that."

I nodded, not forcing the matter to him, and cuddled into my blanket again. Mihael happily tucking me in then placing a kiss on my forehead.

He was a good brother.

He snuffed out the flame on the candle that lit up our room and he crawled into bed as well. But I had one more question before I fell asleep.

"Mihael? Is there anyone you like?"

He turned to look at me. "What do you mean?"

"Do you like anyone? Like how Momma likes Da?"

He grinned slightly before rolling back over. "Can't say that I do. But I don't really need anyone. I couldn't afford time for them anyhow."

I hummed at this before going silent. I couldn't see his face to determine if he was lying to me, but it didn't sound like Mihael had anyone he liked. Not like I had Eren. Then again… I didn't really know what Eren felt about me. I knew we were friends, but other than that nothing.

I suppose I'd never really know.

Oh well. Just another something to add to the list of common things me and my brother shared.

* * *

 ** _Elsewhere_**

* * *

"Ready to hit the town tomorrow, Matt?" Light asked me.

I grumbled. "When you give me some sleep. I had to run laps today, remember?"

"Because you set a live bird into the commander's office." He reminded me. "You're lucky he didn't shave your head for that."

I chuckled at that. "Like he'd touch my gorgeous hair! Not with everything I've learned to defend it!"

The brunette sighed. "You know, I don't get you. You graduated top of the class, are an expert with the sword, and have never had an issue with your gear due to your tampering with it, yet you chose to be part of the Garrison!? The military police would kill for you!"

I shrugged. "Yeah, but it's boring. Standing around and doing nothing for that fat arse king. I think I can make a difference in the Garrison. Like you!"

I could just feel the eye roll. "Fine then, don't tell me the truth."

"That _is_ the truth, Light!" I exclaimed as I rolled over onto my back. "I want to make a difference! The garrison needs real soldiers, not those current pigs! I'm willing to be a real soldier! Besides, I heard Shiganshina is nice this time of year."

The brunette merely huffed as he laid down on his bed. "I'm going to regret training you, aren't I?"

I weakly punched his arm. "Love you too, bro!"

A mere growl was his response.


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and if you have any ideas for me - or some corrections - let me know!**_

* * *

 **(Mello P.O.V)**

I was sixteen now and running an entire family. I cooked, I cleaned, I looked after everyone, and I barely had a life outside my home. But once in a while I had my own time to spend. And more times than not, I spent it outdoors enjoying the fresh air.

Today was no different.

Armin and his friends Eren and Mikasa came with me to the square where I'd play my instrument of choice. Mostly guitar, but I was skilled at a few instruments. Violin, harp, flute, you name it I could play it. But the guitar was just easier for me to drag around and get ready to play.

I tuned the strings while listening in on my brother's conversation with his friends. It was almost entertaining some days. Especially when they argued over something meaningless.

Like today for example.

"I'm telling you, I could have beaten them up!" Eren assured Mikasa. "Just stop getting in the way!"

"Come on, Eren," Armin said with a sheepish smile. "She's just looking out for us."

"She embarrasses me! Why can't she just let me fight those sods myself!?"

"Because you aren't that strong." Mikasa spoke truthfully. "And I want to protect you."

I giggled slightly at the frustrated sigh Eren gave out. The kid was a lot tougher than she let on, we all knew, but I suppose she felt like she owed him something for what he did for her.

I found out from Grisha what had happened to her parents. The poor thing. She didn't deserve to go through all that. And Eren? Dear god did that kid have some guts going after those greasy perverts. Hell, I'd have gone after them myself had I found out, but a small little nine year old? I had great respect for him for doing that for her… but I wish they'd gotten there first.

Oh well. It was in the past. And Mikasa looked as though she were doing alright.

But, maybe she could let Eren win a few times. Just for his sake and Armin's.

I don't know if my brother saw it as clearly as I did, but I could see that Eren was trying to impress him. I had a hunch as to why, but I didn't call him out on it. They were friends, nothing more. But if ever I got real evidence against the brunette I'd have a chat with him. My brother was fragile, inside and out, and I wouldn't let anyone – not even his best friend – harm him mentally or physically. I just wouldn't.

It's how I grew up.

I learned to protect and raise my brother – as well as my sisters – to never meet with harm. My parents called me overprotective, but I was just looking out for them. I couldn't bear to think about losing them, and it killed me when I'd thought my father had died all those years back. Yes, I was a bit overprotective…

…but I had to be.

I finally got my guitar tuned and strummed a few chords. "Any requests?"

Eren jumped in at this. "Can you play that one from last week? The one that sounded like waves?"

I remembered the one he meant and began playing it happily. Before long there was a crowd of people gathered around me listening in on the music. Some threw a bit of coin, but others just wanted the music. God knows there wasn't enough of it around here. So I was happy to play for all of them. To escape into the world of music with them.

A world unlike this one.

* * *

 **(Matt P.O.V)**

Jumping from rooftop to rooftop was one of my favourite things about my job. Maybe because it was a rush zipping through the air at speeds unknown when walking. Light tried to keep up but it was becoming more and more difficult for him. He knew this was my favourite part of the job, but he still tried to collar me down and keep me from zipping away. What could I help though? It's been mankind's dream to fly since… forever! And I wasn't wasting a second of it on the ground.

I finally stopped so Light could catch up, but whereas I was still raring to go he was huffing and trying to catch some air.

"I told you…!" he started yelling, huffing in between sentences, "to slow… down…!"

"Why? It covers more ground in less time up here! We're almost to the square now!" I said excitedly.

The brunette grumbled. "Why did I ever agree to train you?"

"Because I'm adorable and you love me?" I offered, making an innocent smile.

He huffed. "Maybe because Arlert thought you were worth the time. But I guess even he can be incorrect once or twice."

"Ouch. Words can hurt, Yagami." I joked. "Now come on, we're almost…"

I stopped, hearing something in the distance. It sounded… angelic. Joyful. Magical. It was something unlike anything I'd heard in my entire life. New and gleeful.

Music.

I followed the sounds as quickly as I could, not bothering to use my gear since the sound was close. It was a string instrument, that much I knew, but it carried unlike any other one I knew about. Maybe it was something new. Or maybe I was just hearing things. Either way, I wanted to see who was playing, if anyone was playing at all.

I made it to the square in record timing, Light close behind me. A crowd of people gathered around the source of the sound, and I could tell now that the instrument was a guitar. Someone in the corps had one that he'd play right before we went to sleep. But the person playing this one was way more skilled and had a different heart to their music. It was practiced and loved, like they melded their fingers to the song that was playing. It was absolutely magical.

I slowly made my way through the crowd and saw a familiar face sitting on the step where it lead to the centerpiece of the square…

…and I felt my heart stop.

That wisp of blonde hair, those sparkling blue eyes, and that bright smile. I knew them well enough. They'd been in my dreams for days on end in my first year of the cadets. I'd forgotten them long ago, but now the memories and imaginings all came flooding back to me in a whirl. And I realized how deeply I'd fallen for this being in front of me.

But… did he remember me as well?

I made my way to the front of the crowd, but didn't get a chance to speak with him personally.

Another soldier blocked my way, throwing a rose to his feet. "Encore, my love! Encore!"

Love? Wait, did he…!

"Oh for god's sake, what are you doing here Jim!" He yelled, stopping the music. "I told you yesterday and the day before to leave me the hell alone!"

Oh thank god.

"Come on, lovie!" He slurred out, grabbing his hand. "Have a drink with me! We'll dance and sing all night!"

"And you're drunk." The blonde commented, pulling his hand away. "On the job as well. The garrison really has the best of the best, don't they?"

The crowd snickered at this but this Jim fellow didn't take the joke lightly.

"You'd best watch your tongue, love. Or it'll be the titans for you!"

"I welcome that in exchange from your presence."

I couldn't help the snicker. Mello could definitely hold his own.

Funny… I remember his name so perfectly, yet it'd been years…

…huh…

The soldier grabbed the blonde by the arm and forcefully brought him to stand. "Something you want to repeat, love?"

Before he could do anything to harm him however...

They both froze when a blade rested on his shoulder to his neck. The blade belonging to me.

Enough was enough.

"Jim, was it?" I asked. "Got a few stories about you. Drinking on the job, harassing people, and now you go ahead and threaten an innocent civilian? While under the influence? Damn, man! You must be right stupid if you think you can get away with all this!"

He let go of the blonde and turned to me, drawing his own weapon. "I'll have you know my father was a captain in the survey corps!"

"And my father was a drunk bastard." I replied. "But let's not talk about lineage here. I believe you want a duel."

His response was a downward slice to my head, which I quickly dodged since he was way off mark and in a drunken stupor. He really was a moron.

I quickly drew my other blade and crossed both the blades across his neck. He didn't even see it coming. Then again, he was drunk and stumbling about like a moron so I doubt he could even form a coherent thought.

"Say Yagami," I called to my partner, "mind taking in this trash and report what we saw here today? I got some business to take care of!"

"Can do." The brunette replied with a chuckle.

He bound Jim's hands behind his back then dragged him off. I say drag because… well… he really couldn't stand up for the life of him.

A cheer roared out from the crowd and I took a bow to them.

"Thank you, my good people! Just doing my job!"

"Well, at least someone takes their job seriously in the garrison." I heard the blonde say, annoyed. "But you must be new in the corps so I give it a week before you convert to their ways. Let's go kids."

I watched him leave suddenly with three little kids in tow and tried to follow him. Sadly, however, a few people offering their congratulations on what I'd done blocked my way. One thing I did notice, however, was he'd forgotten something by the step.

I turned back to the step and grabbed his guitar from off the ground. I then ran after him, but I'd already lost him in the fray of people from the market.

Luckily though, I had enough connections in the corps to find out exactly where to find him.

We still had some catching up to do after all.


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Longer chapter to make up for the lack of chapters today!**_

 _ **...that and I lost track of time.**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

We'd gotten home a little earlier than we'd wanted, but I blamed the soldiers for that. Especially that new one that had gotten in the way of the other. What was his name? Did he even mention it? I guess he didn't. Be he seemed to be a lot better at his job than the others I'd met. Why he wore those weird goggles was beyond me though. Maybe he just liked them.

I heard my brother grumble angrily. "I can't believe I forgot it! That bloody…!"

I decided to zone out at that point. I didn't like hearing cuss words all that often but Mihael didn't really care. I think he just enjoyed saying them since it let out some steam. I couldn't fault him for that.

Mihael had a temper sometimes, but he never took it out on his family. He just needed to be left alone for a while so he could take a breather and get back into his calm state. It sometimes scared me how angry he could be, but I knew he wouldn't hurt me. He couldn't hurt me. I think it would have killed him if he knew he hurt someone he loved. Then again, none of us really tried to take him on when he was angry so we didn't know the whole truth to the matter.

He sat down in his chair and seethed. "If I ever see another soldier I'll castrate them!"

I blinked, then looked to my mother. "What does 'castrate' mean?"

I was smart, and I knew a lot of words, but I didn't know a few Mihael chose to use in front of me.

My mother looked at my father and grandfather before looking back at me. "We'll tell you when you're older."

"MUCH older." My father added before turning to Mihael. "If you could restrain yourself now, son."

The teen glared at him… not even saying a word.

The silence was what scared me most. It was the thought of 'the calm before the storm' that sent me into a fearful state. No, Mihael would never hurt us.

But damnation to anyone else that got in his way.

The teen took a breath and stood from his seat. "I'm going to the garden. No one bother me."

My grandfather, who never saw the danger since he didn't fear him, gestured to the back door. "Tools are in the shed. Cleaned them for you today."

"Thank you." The teen replied sarcastically before heading outside, letting the door slam behind him.

My father sighed heavily. "You think anyone will bring the guitar home?"

My mother shook her head. "When they can pawn it off for coin? I doubt it. These are terrible times, what with the food shortage, nothing coming up outside the wall, and the garrison all getting drunk and making the streets worse. A hundred years of peace and look where we are now."

My grandfather huffed. "The walls should have never been built, if you ask me."

"Dad…" my mother tried to stop him.

"No, Selena! The walls were meant to be for protection, but all it did was make us complacent! Are we really the only ones to see this?!"

"Others see it too, old man." My father replied. "They're just too afraid to speak up. They don't want to be punished for being what they call heretics. And I don't blame them. Just look at what they do to Armin and Mihael. Always coming home with a bruise or two, and the girls will have to go through that too!"

One of the twins, Emma, gasped at this. "Are we going to die!?"

"No sweetheart." My mother assured. "But… keep your opinions to yourselves, alright. We can't have you and Sera getting hurt."

They both nodded and went silent again.

I envied their silence. They were content not to say a thing because it was easier for them. Because they had each other. Yes, we all had each other – I suppose – but out there in the streets we were all alone. Mihael, myself, father and mother… we had our own lives to defend. We weren't born with a twin that stayed beside us and knew one another back to front. I was happy for them… and jealous. At least they had a bit of justice in this world. If only I could have the same.

My mother served the food she'd made for dinner then sat down along with us.

"I believe Mihael just needs a bit of a break." She suggested. "That poor boy has been worked up for the past week. Not to mention he rarely ever does things for himself anymore."

"That wasn't exactly our doing, my dear." My father replied. "He just jumped into this role he made for himself. We both didn't want this for him, but it's happened."

"When did it start?" I asked. "I can't remember a time when Mello didn't take care of us."

"When your father lost his arm." My grandfather explained. "Your brother had the strongest gut going in to see him when he was in the infirmary. Didn't cry even once. After that day… well, he was never really the same."

I heard my mother hum at this. "Your brother was… is a broken person, Armin. He's had to endure a lot of mental instabilities. Watching your father go off for scouting missions, nearly losing him, and skipping past his entire childhood to help take care of us. Though I'm sure you're more than aware of all this, it's just best that you're reminded."

"I know," I replied, "but it's not like he was asked to give up everything."

"No, you're right." My grandfather remarked. "But that boy will always fight for something. Even if it means losing something in return."

I remained quiet now, slowly sipping up my mother's stew. I would never tell her than Mihael's cooking was just a bit better, but only because he had more experience with cooking.

My family was right. Mello was a fighter, he always would be. But I'd just like to see him have something other than us to fight for. Then again, he never got out enough to find something to fight for because he was always cooped up at home and taking care of us.

My father leaned back in his chair. "You know what he needs?"

"A bath?" Sera spoke up, making Emma laugh.

When my father glared at them they both shut up. As humorous as it was, it was rather rude.

My father continued. "He needs a dame. Someone to get him out of the house."

"Memphis, I'm warning you…" my mother started.

"A dame or a fellow, my dear. I know he has a few wandering eyes, but he's never made anything specific."

My grandfather huffed. "You'd allow your son with another man? Good luck with getting those grandchildren."

"We have three others in the waiting, dad." My mother reminded him. "And it doesn't matter to us what his preferences are."

"And not to me either, daughter!" He replied. "But those good for nothing extremists might have a problem with it! They'd hang him in an instant if they caught him with another man!"

"But, it's love." I said quietly. "It shouldn't matter if it's a man or woman if they're happy."

"Some people don't understand that, Armin." My father spoke as he stood from his seat. "But that's something for another time. For now I think I should speak with our hot headed teenager. Maybe get him to leave the house for a while."

"And go where, exactly?" Grandfather asked snidely.

The tall blonde thought for a second before grinning. "Well, I believe there is a festival coming up in about a week. Perhaps he could find someone to go with if I were to offer to do his chores."

"Like he'd let you do that." The old man before me huffed as he took a sip of his stew. "That boy is as hard headed and stubborn as his mother. Believe me, I know. Damn woman running off to join the corps."

"Excuse you, but I got a good husband by doing that." My mother warned.

"And five stubborn kids to go with him!" He laughed out. "Now _you_ must pay the same price as I had to, young lady!"

I saw my father roll his eyes with a smile before turning to us. "Armin, make sure you and your sisters finish eating then prepare for bed."

"What about Mihael?" I asked, a bit worried.

"Don't worry about him. I'll have a talk with him and everything will turn out alright. You'll see."

I nodded. "Alright. I hope you can get him to let go of the reigns for a while. I'd like to see him less angry and more… happy."

The man kissed the top of my head before turning and headed for the door. "I'll certainly try, my boy."

I guess try was really all he could do.

* * *

 **(Mello P.O.V)**

Yes, it was late and I was practically working by the light of the moon, but I was too angry to care. Angry that I'd lost my guitar, angry that those soldiers were fighting – over me no less – and angry because no one did the gardening like they were supposed to! This was supposed to be my day off! A day when I wasn't angry and I was pissed at the world for being so goddamned useless! But NO! Here I was doing chores that were supposed to be done, in the dark, on my day off!

I clipped off another unwelcomed twig and threw it to the ground. I'd have to clean up all the twigs as well when I was done, but for now I just felt like clipping. As if I was imagining clipping away each thing that was making me angry. It wasn't like I had the choice to yell and scream at anyone anyway. God forbid I scare my younger siblings and teach them that the world wasn't all bright and cheery. God forbid that they learn the truth about the world and that only the strong can truly survive. Worthless kids.

…

…that wasn't fair.

I threw down the clippers and just sat against the wall next to the hedge.

Armin knew full well what the real world was like. Even the girls had some notion of it. I just didn't like how they could have an escape and I couldn't. I was stuck working since I was eight to take care of everyone around me. My lame father, my weak mother, and my broken grandfather. Not to mention the younger kids who could barely defend themselves. I was working around the clock, day in and day out, for people I cared about and for what? So they could be comfortable while I worked myself to the bone? Yes, I put myself in this position, and it wasn't all _that_ terrible, but I still felt like I'd missed out on something important. My childhood? My teen years? Friends, learning, playing, laughing, WHAT!? I just needed to know!

I heard someone sit beside me but didn't look up from my knees. I could almost tell who it was anyway.

"My, the stars are bright tonight." Came my father's voice. "They seem so close, don't they?"

I just cut to the chase. "What do you need, father?"

He chuckled. "I can't sit beside my son and chat? What happened to the days where we used to stargaze until you fell asleep?"

"Those days ended when you could no longer carry me up the stairs." I reminded him.

I guess it was rude to remind him of such a thing, but I was still bitter about today. Well… about everything really. Some days were easier to hide it than others.

I could almost feel the smirk. "Oh? So you think because I only have one arm I'm incapable of THIS!"

I felt something grab my leg then hoist me up into the air and onto my father's shoulder making me nearly shriek. The man was tall too so I was up pretty high, meaning I had to hold on with all my might as he spun me around like he used to before his accident. I guess I underestimated him and his strength. He really could do anything if he really wanted, even with a missing arm.

He spun me about, laughing boisterously. "Had enough?!"

My response was a bit of a yelp before starting to giggle.

"Put me down!" I tried to be serious, ending up in a giggle instead.

"Put you down? But where!?" He asked. "Over… THERE!?"

He whipped around to where he'd meant making me whip in the opposite direction. I really couldn't help the squeal of laughter. It was like being eight again!

"Or over… THERE?!" He exclaimed, whipping me about once more.

"Come on! I'm getting sick!" I warned him, stick partially chuckling.

He finally listened and dropped me into a pile of leaves, falling in as well to lay beside me.

It really did feel good to laugh again.

The man chuckled. "See? I've still got it!"

I scoffed. "So you can lift a malnourished teenager. I'm so impressed."

"Malnourished?" He scoffed back, pinching at my sides. "What's all this then!?"

I had to hit and fight him back from the pinches but the giggling still happened. Honestly, had he just come out to bother me or stop me from being mad? Either way I didn't like that he was winning the battle.

He finally stopped the pinching and I got a few moments to catch my breath from the giggles. It's been a long time since I'd had this much fun, and it took a lot out of me.

I guess it was my own fault.

I felt a hand ruffle my hair. "Don't worry about the guitar, Mihael. We can get another one."

Back to business? Alright then.

"No, we can't." I explained. "That was grandfather's, and he got it in Trost. I doubt they even make them anymore."

"Nonsense. There's always a guitar or two around if you look!" He promised. "Have some faith."

I scoffed at that. "Faith in what? Humanity is nothing but a joke nowadays. We'd be better off as titan food."

"Stop that, you know you don't mean it."

"I DO mean it!" I fought back. "We do nothing but sit around and watch the world go by! The King wants us to believe that's living but he'd wrong!"

"Mihael…"

"I'm serious!" I interrupted, standing up from the leaf pile. "You think this is living!? Waiting for something to happen?! Watching the sun set over a fifty metre wall and having our days shortened because of it?! You believe living in shadow and fear is a life worth living?!"

"I didn't say that, but you have to understand…"

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND!" I practically screamed. I don't understand why we're all holed up here and living under a monarchy that doesn't even care enough to do something worthwhile about it! We've become complacent and fat, waiting on the day something will happen, and I just don't understand it! Am I crazy, or can't you see what we've become!"

The man before me was silent for what seemed like forever before he stood up from the leaves and pulled me into a hug.

"Son," he spoke quietly, "I have a feeling there's more to this that you aren't willing to speak about."

I growled at this and pushed him away. "Like what?"

He didn't answer my question, but merely smiled calmly.

"There's a festival happening next week for the returning scouts. Maybe you should go. Bring a friend or two."

I scoffed at this, turning away from him. "You know I don't have any friends."

"Then go out and make a few." He suggested.

"With what time, might I ask?" I turned back, crossing my arms. "I have to cook breakfast, mend the garden, fix the yard, go to the market, make lunch, mend and wash clothes, then make dinner. And that's only the list for tomorrow…"

"Mihael!" He spoke up, making me lose my train of thought. "You think we can't handle it?"

I shrugged slightly, looking off for a second. "No. It's just…"

"Just routine." He finished. "But you need to break free of that routine, my boy. I don't want you growing up knowing nothing but work and caring for others. Go out and enjoy yourself!"

"By doing what?" I challenged him. "Drinking and having it out with the soldiers?!"

The man sighed heavily. "Just… go out and meet someone new, son. Tomorrow, or even tonight…!"

"I'll pass." I interrupted, grabbing my clippers from the ground. "There's no one out there of interest to me."

There was a pause before he put a hand on my shoulder and answered with, "You'll never know until you look. You might be surprised."

I took a moment to let the works sink in, but I couldn't help but feel anger in my soul. Something about those words hurt me more than I'd like to admit.

I pushed his hand away and got back to the hedge. "No one wants someone like me."

A silence filled the air and made everything feel tense and cold. I didn't hear anything come from my father other than his breathing. Soon after, I didn't even hear that. Just the sound of the door shutting after he left me alone… and small tears dripping onto the leaves I faced towards.

Did he think that I _didn't_ want friends? Like I _chose_ to give up my childhood? I guess I had chosen to leave it and take care of my family. But it wasn't a choice to be alone.

I wiped away the tears and threw the clippers to the ground again. I'd clean all of the gardening mess tomorrow. For now I needed to go to bed and get some sleep. Maybe I'd wake up early and get a jumpstart on things.

I headed for the door and was about to turn the handle…

…

…when I heard a small tune playing from up above me. It sounded like a lute or guitar. It was unpracticed and in need of some work, but it sounded stunning all the same.

Then there was humming…

…and singing.

I followed the tune to the roofs and climbed up a box of supplies until I got to the roof of my family home. From there the tune was heard much clearer…

…and the one playing the tune was in full view.

I'd seen him before in the square. The soldier that had fought off Jim. And he had my guitar! Why on earth was he playing it and humming a song though? What was he trying to prove?

He ended his tune with a carry and looked at me with a grin. "So you do live here. Glad to see my trek wasn't wasted."

I climbed up onto the roof fully to look at him more easily. He was sitting across the way on another roof that was close to our own so talking to him was not a strain. Still, to come all the way here… what did he want? No, scratch that. I knew what he wanted. Money. And he was holding my guitar ransom.

Typical.

He chuckled. "Nothing to say, Mello?"

I was taken back by this. "How… how do you know my name?"

He laughed. "How do you not know mine?! Did I really change in the eight years since we met?! Then again, I only just remembered you from today, so I guess I can't blame you. Loved the playing, by the way. How long have you been practicing?"

"Who are you!?" I demanded.

He smiled at me cheekily before removing his goggles. Something about his face did look familiar now that he didn't have his goggles on.

"Still nothing?" He asked. "Hold on!"

He suddenly jumped over to the roof I stood on and got dangerously close to my face, his nose touching mine and his eyes looking into my own. He didn't even let me back away since his hand was on my waist. Any other time I would have punched someone for invading my personal space…

…but this…

Those green eyes. I'd seen them before. A long time ago when I was a kid…

…

…it couldn't be him…

…

…could it?

I blinked in fear and wonder. "Matt?"

His smile widened. "So you do remember me."

I backed away for a moment to get a better look, but I couldn't believe it. It couldn't actually be that little street urchin from so long ago. It just couldn't.

But here he was.

He handed me the guitar. "I believe this belongs to you. You left it in the square."

I took it from him hesitantly but smiled. "Um… thank you. I'm… I'm sorry that I didn't recognize you before. But it's been so long…"

"Don't even worry about it." He assured me. "I get forgotten a lot. I think people try to forget I exist though."

"Dear lord, how did you even remember me at all? We met for only a few seconds when we were children."

He shrugged, scratching his cheek. "Can't honestly say. But I'm glad I did remember you. It's nice to know someone on the inside. Especially someone so familiar with the other soldiers."

I growled at that. "I'm only familiar with those who have been chasing me. I'm not exactly a friend to the garrison."

"You and me both, blondie." He reassured.

This struck me as odd. "Then… why are you part of their group?"

"Truth?" He replied, relaxing into his stance. "Because I can do more good in the garrison than I can outside the wall."

"Oh?" I challenged, not believing him. "How so?"

"Well, a little kid from the Utopia district needed a place to stay and call home never once got help from the military. Now he thinks he can change that. But, helping out a blonde in distress might be good karma too."

"Distress?" I practically laughed. "You call what happened today distress?"

"Okay, so I wanted to meet you but that drunk ass got in my way. But you _did_ get yourself into a bit of trouble with that sharp tongue of yours."

"He was asking for it." I replied, crossing my arms. "And I didn't ask for you to help me back there."

"Well, I'm glad I did."

"Why's that?" I asked with a smirk.

"'Cause now we got this alone time together." He reminded me, getting a bit closer.

Something about the way he said that made my cheeks heat up slightly. Maybe because I wasn't used to this much interaction with someone outside my family.

He chuckled, looking back to the road then to me. "I should leave now. Last time my partner caught me out of bed he threatened to chain me and keep me there until the next week. Now, I don't know what that would accomplish, but he sounded pretty serious. So I should get going."

I nodded, a little sad to see him go. "Alright then. Thank you, by the way. For returning my guitar. I thought I'd lost it forever."

He put his goggles back on before bowing to me. "Think nothing of it. But I have one last thing to ask."

"Okay." I replied warily.

"Would you happen to be in the market tomorrow? I'm doing most of my patrolling down there, so maybe we could… catch up, or something."

I blinked in surprise. I'd never really been asked to… well… spend time with another person. This was something kind of new to me.

"What exactly is there to catch up on? We knew each other for five seconds as kids."

"But I remember your name. And… you remembered mine." He reminded me, getting a bit closer.

I didn't back away though. "That's… true."

"So then, why not just spend a few hours together? No catching up. Just learning new things about each other."

"That sounds an awful lot like a date." I surmised.

"Then a date it can be if you want." He suggested. "That's alright with me."

I felt my cheeks go hot again and stepped back. "Al… alright then. Tomorrow at noon? In the market?"

"Not a very private date, and I have to work… but sure! I'll meet you there! Near the docks."

I nodded. "By the docks then."

With that he made his exit, jumping from one roof to another. On the fifth roof he waved back to me and I couldn't help the smile. I don't think I'd ever met someone with more enthusiasm.

And… strangely… I liked it.


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N:**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Mello P.O.V)**

"I thought I told you to have the next few days to yourself." My father persisted. "We can take care of ourselves."

I served the hastily made lunch before grabbing my side bag. "You know it's my routine to take care of everything. Besides, I have to go into the market today anyway."

"What for?"

I paused in my tracks and thought of something quickly. "Supplies and such. Mostly things for the garden."

The family all looked at each other before accepting my lame excuse.

I guess it would have been easier to tell them about Matt, but I got worried that my father would get too excited for me. Not to mention my mother and grandfather pressing questions on how I met him or what we were planning on doing today. Honestly, I couldn't even answer that much. I knew we were meeting up at the docks, but other than that what else could we be doing? I suppose I'd have to be on my guard. Lord knows how much the garrison actually tainted this one.

"Could I come with you?" Armin suddenly asked.

I hesitated. Normally I let him come with me as I enjoyed the company, but I couldn't let him know about Matt right away.

"Not today, Armin. I'll be awhile and I don't want you to get too tired. Maybe you could go see Eren and Mikasa today."

He slumped into his chair. "Okay."

I grinned slightly. "Want me to bring you back anything? You know I can find the best deals around in the market."

He grinned back at me. "Could you find those taffies you did last time?!"

"I'll certainly try. But that means you have to eat your entire dinner."

"No problem!" He said excitedly.

I chuckled as I opened the door. "Too bad father's cooking tonight."

And I immediately left the house. No one in our family could eat more than a few bites of our father's cooking, not because it was bad… because there was so much to usually eat.

Once in a week or two our father would cook and make heaping portions due to the food's expiration. He could cook fast and freely, and it usually ended in heaping portions. More often than not we invited Grisha and his family over as well to enjoy the portions with us. Eren seemed to enjoy the large amounts out of all of us.

It was hard to stock up on food nowadays, what with the food shortage and everything, but I knew where to get the best and the largest amounts. It was a gift really, and I shared this secret with no one. Not even my mother.

I got to the market in no time and almost immediately went for the docks. Even if Matt didn't show up, there were enough stalls down there that I could find something to occupy my time. I'd raised a bit of coin to spend on myself, so there had to be something.

The docks always smelled funny to others but I enjoyed it more than I let on. It smelled like freedom and adventure to me. Like there was history in the old boats. I doubt they'd been very far, or even outside the wall, but I still liked to imagine they'd gone on hundreds of adventures and saw the world in new points of views. And I longed to be on one of those boats and just… leave everything behind. Go out and see what the world had to offer.

I rested against the wall of a building and let my mind wander. I didn't know how long my eyes had been shut but it wasn't for very long. It didn't last that long since I felt a presence rest beside me, and when I opened my eyes I jumped back a little in surprise at seeing Matt so close to me.

"Cripes, do you have to be so silent?!" I exclaimed.

He shrugged. "You looked like you were deep in thought. I didn't want to ruin that."

I rolled my eyes. "That or you were mocking me."

"What would I have to gain by mocking you?"

This time it was my turn to shrug. "Most of the other soldiers make fun of others for being different. And they arrest the ones who are _too_ different."

He pushed off the wall and strode up close to me. "I told you last night I'm not like other soldiers."

I don't have any clue why I didn't back away. Maybe it was his smile, or the way he looked me in the eye instead of up and down my body, but I felt… connected to him, somehow. Almost like I trusted him.

I forced myself to back away. I couldn't trust him. He was a soldier, corrupted and greedy like the rest of them. He probably got word from other soldiers about me rejecting them and decided to give it a go himself. Filthy pig.

I looked away from him. "I need to pick up a few things from the stalls. Follow me if you wish, but don't scare me again."

He put a hand over his heart and the other in the air. "You have my word!"

I decided to trust him, slightly, and walked off into the direction of one of the stalls. There I could get some gardening supplies. I was looking forward to a new crop of carrots this year. The ones last year did amazingly well. Maybe I could try for some fruit trees again.

I heard Matt chuckle slightly. "You're getting stares, Mello."

I blinked, looking up at him then around me. Indeed I was getting a few looks of fear and disapproval. I suppose that was because of the company I currently kept though.

I huffed. "You're to blame for it. You're part of the garrison. Everyone here has a reason to hate you."

"Oh? How so?"

I felt my eyes roll but continued anyway.

"For starters, all your soldiers ever do is get drunk and bother the residents of the district. You get paid to lounge around and do nothing, and when you _do_ do something it's against our rights as free people. We aren't allowed to speak our minds, have what we need, and do what we'd like. Our taxes are through the roof, the price for food is too high, and it's all because we have to fund for people who do nothing at all. My family got lucky, but there are people who are starving themselves to death due to the soldiers having it all. You're fed all the bread and butter you wish, while the rest of us fight for even a morsel of that."

"I see. So then, what can we do to improve this?"

I stopped in my tracks and looked him straight in the eye. "You can start by trying to feed people who truly need the food. It's part of your jobs to help out the hungry and the homeless, yet you do nothing!"

"Our job is to keep the peace." He retorted.

I crossed my arms. "Good luck doing that without limbs. The moment everyone realizes there's strength in numbers your garrison will be nothing but the dirt beneath our feet."

He surprisingly grinned at this. "You're pretty passionate about this sort of thing."

I felt my nostrils flare. "I've watched people starve to death since I was ten."

"I've been starving since I was born." He countered.

I suddenly remembered his story and I immediately regretted everything I'd said.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…"

"Don't even worry about it." He interrupted, still grinning as he started our walk again. "The past is in the past. And I'm here now to make sure no other kid goes through the same thing I did. I thank your father for this opportunity. And you of course."

"Me? What did I do?"

He hummed a bit. "If I hadn't had ran into you I would have never even met your dad. Though, I never did get to stay the night at your place. I kept my promise though."

"Promise?" I asked, confused.

He turned to me with a wider grin. "You made me promise to come see you the moment I was done training. And here I am. Now what do you need at those stalls?"

I grinned back at him, feeling my cheeks go hot. It surprised me how much he remembered from our five seconds as kids. I guess it must have meant something to him.

I cleared my throat. "Just some seeds and tools for the garden."

"Well then, 'Lettuce' be off then!" He smiled happily. "Get it! Because… gardens!"

I rolled my eyes so hard my lids fluttered. "That was terrible."

"Oh, okay. Then you might like this one. Did you know I was once a chicken farmer?"

"Excuse me?" I questioned.

"You know. I raised cocks?"

I couldn't help the bit of laughter that escaped. That one was actually not that bad.

"Okay, I'll give you full points for that one. It was clever."

"I got a million of them!" He said proudly.

I sighed, still smiling. "Well, I got nothing to do for the day. Please, continue your stupidity."

"Ouch, that hurts." He joked. "But not as much as what my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket."

"What did he say?"

He sighed to himself. "He said, 'son… how far do you think I can kick this bucket?'."

I had to cover my mouth to stop from laughing. "Okay, another good one. Please, continue."

From the docks to the stalls he did his best to make me laugh. I admit to chuckling at a few, but laughing was not happening. It only made him try harder though. Even after I'd gotten what I needed he continued to joke around and tell stories. All of which had me grinning and smiling like a moron, but more than a few I had to groan at since they were just plain bad. But it was nice to have his company like this. Especially if he had such an accomplishment over me, even if he was a soldier.

But he was a better soldier than the others.

When the sun started to set I'd fully realized how long I'd been out. I didn't think my parents would care too much if I was late, but they knew me well enough that I never stayed out too late. They probably thought I'd been taken in by the military or something.

It's happened to others before.

When I convinced Matt I had to go home, him believing I was trying to ditch him, he made it his duty to walk me home and make sure I wasn't jumped. I appreciated the gesture, but I was more than capable of handling myself.

On the way home I looked up towards the sky and my mood drastically changed. On the other side of that wall was a sunset worth seeing. And I'd never get to see it myself.

I think Matt noticed this change inside me. "Are you okay?"

I took a breath before shrugging. "I suppose. Just daydreaming I guess."

"About what?"

I gestured to the wall off in the distance. "The wall blocks titans, but also the sunset. I've been here for sixteen years and never saw a real sunset over the horizon. And I'm too sure I'll be here for another sixteen and miss it completely."

Matt hummed at this. "Things can change over a few years. You might see one yet."

I shook my head. "No. Not when soldiers are the only ones allowed on the wall, and getting up there is no small feat for someone without your type of gear. It doesn't matter though. I'm usually holed up at home anyhow."

Matt said nothing to this and we continued our walk home.

Once we got to my home he let me be. But not before asking one last thing.

"Are you free tomorrow?"

Something about this question made me jolt in excitement. Did he really want to see me again?

I took a moment to think about it before turning to him with a grin. "Meet you at the docks?"

His grin widened. "Promise you won't forget me again?"

I didn't answer him. I only replied with, "See you at noon," then entered my home.

For the first time in my life, I had something exciting to look forward to.

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

"You're back!" I said excitedly, getting everyone's attention.

Soon everyone was up and greeting Mello with hugs and worried words of 'where have you been?' or 'we were worried!'. Mihael didn't seem too upset about it though, and apologized for being late. He'd said something about taking some time for himself and just getting some fresh air before sitting down to eat.

"So where's to go off to?" Father asked him. "I thought you were just going to a few stalls."

Mihael shrugged. "Walked around, like I said. It took more time than I thought it would and I lost track of everything."

He jolted for a second and searched through his pack. "I think I forgot something though."

I smiled innocently. "Something for me?"

He gave me a look before looking to mom and dad. "Did he eat _everything_ on his plate?"

"Even the greens." Father replied.

With that he brought out a box of taffies with a grin. "Then have at it. Save me some."

I hugged him happily before taking one out to nibble on. My brother really was the best.

"So did you meet anyone?" Father suddenly asked.

Mihael choked on his food before painfully swallowing the morsel. "Really?"

"I'm just asking!" The man replied with a smile. "You seemed pretty happy when you came back!"

"Because I got everything I needed." He reasoned. "Now I can start on a new crop of veggies."

"Really? What kinds of seeds did you get?" Mother asked.

"Carrots, lettuce, tomatoes, and cauliflower. The merchant checked in the back and got me some pumpkin seeds as well. Good crops for the year, I'd say."

"Plus the seeds we harvested from the other crop, and we got ourselves a plantation!" Grandfather replied. "Well done, boy! You do take care of this family!"

"It's my job." He said proudly, finishing his plate of food.

"But not for this week." Father replied. "For this week, take some time for yourself. You overwork like this and you'll end up in a grave."

Mello sighed heavily. "You just aren't going to stop until I agree to this, are you?"

"Does that mean you'll finally listen?" He persisted.

The blonde teen took a moment to think about this before coming up with a compromise.

"Tell you what, let me still work in the mornings, and the afternoon is all mine. If only for this week."

"Deal! At least you'll get out a bit more and meet some new people."

Mihael grinned cheekily at this as he took his plate off to the wash bin. Something about that smile made me question him slightly. Like there was something he was hiding.

Maybe he was hiding something…

…or some _one_.


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: Lost track of time again, so it's another long chapter!**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Matt P.O.V)**

"Are you _looking_ to getting strung up, Matt!?" Light exclaimed. "Because if the captain hears about this…!"

"Would you relax, Light!" I laughed out. "There's nothing wrong with what I'm doing."

"Did you just join the garrison to be around that blonde all day?! Tell me the truth!"

I splayed out over the rooftop to sunbathe a bit, ignoring the looming figure of Yagami. "No, it's just a fortunate accident."

I heard him grumble slight before he took a few steps away from me. "Honestly, why the hell did I get stuck with you?!"

"You didn't get stuck with me, you offered to be my partner!" I reminded him. "And I'd like to remind you that I'm not a terrible person to call a partner."

"No, you aren't." He admitted. "But I'm sick of your disregard and overall attitude to being a soldier! Not to mention you ditched me twice this week to be with that blonde guy!"

"Uh, _you_ ditched _me_!" I reminded him once more. "You were busy kissing arse to the captain while he made his rounds. The second time was me though, I'll grant you that. And it's not like I really missed anything. I was still patrolling and looking out for a few things. I got a few pick-pockets while I was out and about. Not to mention we caught that fake store selling illegal items from outside the wall. I barely had any time with Mello yesterday."

"And today?" He asked angrily.

I shrugged. "He said he has some gardening to do. Something about his grandfather cutting up the wrong plants thinking they were weeds."

He sighed heavily at this. "Well, at least you're around today then."

"For the most part. You have to admit, it's a lot better up here than on the ground. More coverage."

"I'll admit it is a smart idea to patrol up here. But do you think it'll be a quiet day?"

Just as he'd said that we heard a bunch of whoops and yelps from a group not far from us. It sounded like a bunch of teenagers, and it didn't sound like anything good to me.

I stood up and glanced at the brunette. "You tell me."

We leapt from the roof to another and continued this line until we got to the yelling. Like I'd thought, it was teenagers. And none of them were in the right.

A small child, maybe ten years old, sat on the ground covering his face with his arms and whimpering a bit. The teenagers all shouted and laughed as they kicked and hit him, spitting and calling him a heretic – among other things – and I immediately took action to this.

Soldiers were not allowed to severely hurt people unless provoked, but I was allowed some leeway when it came to controlling a scene. One kick to one of the teenagers sent him flying into the others and to the ground. I didn't plan on sing them, but I unsheathed my blades and had them at the ready. The best tactic to scaring people was with the threat of their lives. And dealing with two blades, plus the crest of a soldier, I doubt any teen was stupid enough to try me on. If what Mello said was correct, the garrison struck enough fear in people's hearts when it mattered most.

Especially if we were truly on guard.

The teens looked up at me in fear. My shadow darkening their faces of terror.

I lifted a blade. "This would be the part where you run off."

Like little chickens the teens bolted for the exit and didn't look back. I doubt they'd end their trouble here, but at least they weren't bothering this child anymore.

I turned to the kid, sheathing my blades, then kneeled down to him. "Are you alright?"

He peaked out slightly from his arms and nodded. "Th-thank you."

I blinked in surprise. His eyes reminded me of Mello's. Blue as the sky, but not as sharp. Not to mention he had the same hair colour.

"What's your name?" Light asked.

He uncovered his face. "A-Armin. Armin Arlert."

"Arlert?" Light repeated in surprise. "You're Memphis' kid?"

He nodded, trying to stand up but wobbling a bit. I suppose he'd gotten hurt way worse than I thought.

"I was going to grab firewood for stock when they ambushed me. They threw me into the wall, and I think they broke my arm."

"Let me see." I asked, holding out a hand.

He was hesitant but allowed me to look anyway. It was indeed swollen but I couldn't see a break anywhere. He didn't wince that much, but he flinched when I found a spot that hurt him. He may have only sprained something, but I made a sling out of some cloth for him anyway to keep it from moving. When that was done, I offered to take him home so he could rest.

"You'll protect me?" He asked in a small voice.

I smiled warmly at him. "Of course! It's my job isn't it?!"

He smiled back and he guided the way. Light decided not to follow and instead report the teens to other soldiers. There wasn't much we could really do, but the more soldiers that knew the more fear we could strike into them. I wasn't a fan of bullies anyhow and these ones did not get my sympathy after today.

Armin showed me down a familiar path before he stopped in front of a very familiar building. The same building I'd walked Mello to for two evenings now.

In fact… the blonde himself was right outside the door collecting sticks, for a fire or cooking I could assume.

The moment he caught Armin in a sling he went into a panic.

"What happened!?"

The smaller blonde was quiet but answered with, "I got jumped".

He hurried to the boy's side and checked out his injury. "Those bastards! I'll fucking kill them when I see them!"

"Mihael!" Armin chastised. "Don't swear! Mama hates that!"

"Oh she'll have a lot worse to say when she sees you like this!" He promised, then looked up at me. "Where'd you find him?"

I gestured to the ally. "A few blocks down. Not very far from here."

"I'm sorry I didn't get the wood." The boy said apologetically.

Mello shook his head. "Don't worry about it, Armin. Let's just get you inside."

"Can he stay for dinner!?" The boy asked suddenly. "He's the one who saved me!"

Mello blinked, then looked back up at me. "Saved him?"

I scratched my neck at this. "Well… yes. I mean, I didn't get to stop it before it happened, but I scared those little bastards enough to run away like dogs with their tails between their legs. I think they thought I was gonna kill 'em."

"Lucky it wasn't me." He commented, standing up from the ground. "I _would_ have killed them."

"I was pretty damn close, but I'm not prepared to be stung up for manslaughter."

"So can he stay?" Armin asked again.

The elder blonde looked me in the eye for a split second before grinning and turning away. "You'll have to ask mom and dad."

With that the smaller blonde ran off to find his parents, leaving the two of us on our own. Now came for the questions.

Mello chuckled before turning back to me. "Thank you. Lord knows none of the other soldiers would have cared to help him out in that time. They like to call it 'character building'."

"It's just plain bullying to me." I remarked, smiling. "But let me ask, why is it _his_ name is 'Arlert' but _you_ go by 'Keehl'?"

Mello only shrugged. "It was my mother's maiden name. My grandfather's name. I got sick of people saying 'Oh you're Arlert's boy!' or 'I know your father!' and decided to just drop it. I don't want to be known because of my father. I want to be known as an individual, someone with his own mind and life. I can't do that with his name, so I took my mother's."

"You're a smart guy." I complimented. "Me? I just like Matt more than Mail Jeevas. Plus it doesn't help that it was my father's name and he's been cast out of the military. The moment I was asked my name I was on a list for them to keep an eye on me. Took forever, but I finally got off that list."

"Glad to see it all worked out for you." He commented, turning back to the house. "You coming in to eat, or…?"

"Don't you need firewood?" I asked.

"I got enough twigs and bark to help me keep the soup warm. Besides, you saved my brother. The least I can do is serve you some decent food."

"And your parents?"

He scoffed. "I cooked the food, I decide you eats. I just told Armin to ask our parents so we could get some words in. They don't exactly know I've been hanging around a pig soldier from the garrison."

"Didn't I tell you that words hurt, Arlert?"

The man crossed his arms. "I'm assuming you want me to spit in your soup as well?"

"Special seasoning of yours?!" I asked excitedly.

He opened the door. "Get inside, already."

I couldn't help the victorious grin. With Mello, neither of us won in the snarky-ness department. We just got better at comebacks.

Entering into the home I immediately felt a warm wash of comfort fall over me. It was a new and invigorating feeling I'd never known before. Like this was a real and loving family and not just a group of people you could consider family. For most of my life I'd known only what it was to be working alongside strangers in the military, having no family and no one to turn to other than Yagami. My parents never existed in my mind, I had no brothers or sisters, and I doubted that there were even grandparents for me out there. There was just me. But here… there was everyone.

I followed Mello into the dining room and saw the doctor from a few roads down working on a certain contraption. It looked to be like an artificial limb, but he was having some trouble with it.

The man beside the doctor I almost knew instantly. Memphis Arlert, the man who had gotten me into the cadets in the first place. Of course, I hadn't known his name until just recently thanks to Light, but I always remembered a face.

He looked up at me with a smile. "Is this the man, Armin?"

The boy beside him nodded, nudging a brunette that looked about the same age as him. "That's the man!"

The tall blonde man stood up and opened his right and only arm. "Come're my boy!"

I stepped forward, watching Mello walk off towards the stove where he was cooking the food, and before I knew it I was hoisted into the air from a hug and I could feel him nearly crush my ribs. It still made me smile though. It was nice to see the man hadn't changed much after his accident.

He set me down and I caught my breath as he patted my back. "We need more soldiers like you, boy! Good ones, strong willed, and lending a helping hand to those truly in need!"

"Thank you for helping our little boy." A woman suddenly spoke up, who I could only assume she was the mother. "It scares me to think about what might have happened had you not been there."

I felt my smile disappear slightly. "Does this happen a lot?"

The tall man sighed heavily. "More than you think. The strong always pick on the weak. It's just the way it is. But it's nice to see someone finally stand up for the little ones."

"Hey!" Came the young brunette's voice. "I stand up for Armin all the time!"

I heard the doctor chuckle. "And when it's too much for you, Mikasa has to step in."

The brunette crossed his arms. "I still stand up for him."

Armin pulled the brunette in for a hug. "Thank you for doing so, Eren. Even if you fail a few times, I'm glad you care enough to step in."

I saw the blush on the brunette's face and I couldn't help the grin. Looks like there was more to his standing up than he let on.

I felt another pat on my back. "Set your gear down by the door. I know how straining it can be to carry it around all day, and I want you to make yourself comfortable."

I nodded as I unhinged the mechanism from my waist. I noticed the brunette kid, Eren, staring at the gear in amazement. I suppose he had a thing for the military, but I wouldn't allow a kid to get so close to this type of gear so easily. A little tampering could make things better or worse in the long run, and my tampering with it had been technically illegal to do so. Thankfully the captain had no issues with my tampering since it didn't wreck the device completely. He was even trying to get permission for me to do the same to the rest of the devices, but word hadn't been received yet whether I was allowed to or not. There might be a meeting on it soon though.

I set the gear aside and hung up my jacket. Only then did I get drilled with questions from the small brunette.

"So why'd you join the garrison? Did you even have a choice, or…"

"I had a choice. But only because I graduated top of my class. I just chose the garrison because they need real soldiers to look out for the people inside the wall. Especially when the older ones get drunk and don't help anyone."

"Well, at least we have one good soldier among us." Memphis commented, sitting back down at the table.

I sat beside the doctor on his left. "Two, actually. My friend Light had been the one to train me and he transferred over to the garrison to be my partner."

"Light?" The tall blonde questioned. "As in Yagami? I know him! He is a good egg! So then he trained you? I don't suppose you ever met a young man named Matt did you? I had some high hopes for that boy when I sent him off, but I never got any word back from him. I'm wondering if he was kicked out or not."

I decided to play the game here since I heard Mello chuckled slightly at this.

"Oh yeah! He got real good, became one of the best, graduated top of his class, and joined in the garrison to help fight evil with his sidekick Light Yagami!"

The look on his face was priceless. "Matt!? You can't be serious! HAHA! I knew you'd be perfect in the military!"

I shrugged. "I try."

He then turned to Mello. "Mihael! It's that boy you introduced me to! Isn't that incredible!?"

The blonde finally let the secret slip while he was serving the soup.

He chuckled as he set down the bowls. "We reunited two nights ago, father. He's the one who brought back my guitar."

"Really!? HA! Small world we live in!" The man laughed out.

"Small walls, anyway." The blonde commented before grabbing his own bowl of soup and sitting beside me. "Is Sera and Emma still napping?" He asked his mother.

"Yes, but they should be up in an hour or two."

The blonde sighed. "I'll go grab some firewood later tonight then so I can heat up some soup. Really Armin, I can't believe you let them eat all that taffy."

"I didn't _let_ them, they found it!" He countered.

"Where did they find it?" Mello asked knowingly.

The younger shrunk in his seat. "On the table."

"And where _should_ it have been?"

He shrunk again. "In our room."

"Exactly. I'm not buying another tin after that. Not until they can handle sugar."

I couldn't help the chuckle. "You guys are adorable."

Mello hummed. "He is, isn't he?"

Armin's response was his tongue sticking out.

"Just like a ten year old." Mello commented, taking a sip of his soup.

I rolled my eyes as I took my own sip of the liquid. Whether he spit in it or not, it was excellently made soup! I couldn't remember when I had food this good! Most of the food back in camp was grey and flavourless, but it kept our strength up. This, however, was food worth fighting for!

I heard the doctor sigh and looked to see him rubbing his forehead.

"I'm sorry for taking so long, Memphis, but this damned prosthetic just won't work! I was sure I was on a breakthrough with it!"

"Do not worry old friend!" The man replied. "Just eat then get some rest. We'll work more on it tomorrow."

I looked down at the prosthetic and analyzed it. It was metal and far more advanced than other prosthetics, and it seemed like it could be able to work, but there was something off.

I decided to give it a better look. "Might I offer some assistance?"

The doctor handed it over to me. "Be my guest. If you can find something wrong then maybe I can get it working faster."

I sat back and looked into the joints. "I suppose you plan to have it connected to his nerves and muscles to make it move. It's rather advanced, if I can applaud your efforts. I've never seen a piece of hardware more advanced. Who's financing this?"

"Mostly the military. If it can help with soldiers who have lost their limbs, I want to help. Sadly, I'm no engineer, and the dream is a bit complex. The joints won't move with the correct thought and muscle movement, and it's difficult to test out at all. Memphis helps greatly with his participation, but with every two steps forward I happen to take one step back. It moves, but not as fluent and cleanly as it should."

I nodded at his explanation and looked into the bearings that connected the wrist to the arm and hand. Something about it looked off.

I looked at the man. "Might I borrow your tools?"

He nodded and I reached in for a certain tool and made my little adjustment. After this came another adjustment. Then another. And another…

…and suddenly.

I took a few long pieces of thin metal rods and bandaged them in a specific place on my upper arm after connecting the same rods to the prosthetic.

With hope in my heart, I moved my fingers.

…and the prosthetic moved as well.

The doctor backed up when he saw this and the entire room fell silent. Even if it was a tiny twitch, it managed to work.

I grinned at my handy work. "Working with this is no different than getting my gear to work flawlessly every time. The only thing I'm concerned with is the joints. You want it to work fluently, then switch out the current joints with ball joints. I'd also replace the metal with bone or a bone substitute. Metal will have too many problems in the long run and it's cheaper."

I un-bandaged the rods from my arm and handed it over to the doctor. "If you'd like, I could provide you the materials needed. The soldiers get paid pretty handsomely, but I don't really spend a lot on myself. I'd be happy to help fund for this."

"Holy, heavens." The tall man across from me breathed out. "It actually worked!"

"It did." The doctor whispered. "Even if it wasn't much, it still worked."

I shrugged. "I do my best work with my hands. Plus, this seems like an interesting project. Might I help out when I can?"

"I think you've done all I needed, young man." The doctor replied. "But bone instead of metal, you say?"

I nodded. "Some people in the military donate their bodies to help the cadets learn about the anatomy of titans. I'm sure with enough coin I could convince the scientists to part with a few bones."

"I'm not sure how I feel about that." Memphis said quietly. "I don't want to look down at a manmade hand and know it was someone else's. Someone who died at the hands of a titan or… just no. I won't take it."

"Then how about ivory?" I asked. "Or cow bones? I'm sorry, but I can't allow you to have metal under your skin for so long. It might do too much damage, and if we've hit a breakthrough then more people could suffer serious problems if they too get metal stuck into them."

"If you can provide the materials," the doctor spoke up, "then I'd be able to craft this same thing with the same results. But it's up to you, Memphis. Metal or bone?"

Before he could answer, Mello made the decision for him.

"Bone."

"Son, do not…"

"I won't have you getting infected or having problems with a metal prosthetic." He replied angrily. "You're getting a bone prosthetic, and that's final."

The man sighed wearily, grinning at his boy. "When will you start treating me like an adult?"

"When you start acting like one." Came the blonde's response as he sipped the last of his soup.

The woman beside Memphis chuckled. "That's my boy."

"I agree with Mello, da." Armin spoke up. "If it means your health won't be affected, then get the bone."

"Plus it'll look cool with a skeleton hand instead of that creepy metal thing!" Eren added. "Err… no offence, dad."

The man groaned childishly. "Fine! I'll get the bone prosthetic!"

His wife kissed his cheek. "Stop whining. It's better for your health."

The man grumbled. "I just don't like being ganged up on."

Mello huffed as he took his plate and his brother's. "We could just as easily say no to the prosthetic and allow you to live the rest of your days being treated like a gimp."

"True enough." He agreed.

The doctor then turned to me. "Thank you for your help, Matt. It's good to see we'll be finishing this project soon. How fast do you think you can get the materials?"

"I can get them to you by morning. I know a guy on the inside that can help."

"Splendid!" He said happily as he shook my hand. "It's a good thing you stayed for dinner tonight. Otherwise none of this would have come true."

"Things happen for a reason." I surmised. I guess meeting Mello all those years ago meant something important was supposed to happen for us."

I could just feel the eye roll coming from the blonde washing dishes just a few feet away.

I had to excuse myself after this since it was getting late and I had to return to my post. But I was greeted with happy goodbyes and promises to see me soon. Mello didn't really say much other than his goodbye, but I couldn't fault him for that. Not when he was hiding me from them in a sense.

When I left the home the first thing I noticed was the empty wood pile beside the house. Meaning Mello had to trek a whole mile to grab the wood he'd need for the rest of the week.

I suddenly grinned to myself. Devising a little thank you of my own for the food I was given on such short notice.

* * *

 **(Mello P.O.V)**

I opened the door to leave, dreading the mile walk I'd have to take in the dark to get some firewood. I knew Armin couldn't have done it himself, and I didn't want him to. But I really wish the girls hadn't missed dinner so I could go to bed.

I exited the home and froze by the door.

The wood pile had been completely refilled all the way to the top. There was even a bit of kindling along with it. And on top sat a small white rose that seemed to glow in the darkness.

I grinned happily, taking the rose from the top to get a better look at it.

I heard a chuckle from up above and looked up to see a familiar figure sitting on the roof of another house. He seemed to be outlined by the moon and its radiant glow.

He smiled at me. "Thanks for the dinner. It's a lot better than what the military feeds me."

I smiled back at him. "Thank you for helping my little brother. And for my father's prosthetic. It means a lot to me."

He continued to smile at me. "Tomorrow at noon?"

I felt my heart give a bit of a flutter. "By the docks?"

He stood up from his seat. "I'll be waiting."

And we parted ways until tomorrow.

This new routine was perfect.


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: WARNING! REALLY CORNY CHAPTER AHEAD!**_

 _ **Seriously though, it's like... the corniest and fluffiest chapter I've done and I was tired when I did it so... enter at your own risk.**_

 _ **Also, keep a look out. There's a certain part in this story from a movie that I think everyone should check out! (Loved it!)**_

 _ **Anyways, H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Matt P.O.V)**

"You are officially whipped."

"Shush, I'm trying to listen!" I practically scolded the brunette.

The man merely sighed. "Whipped like a horse on a carriage."

Maybe he was right…

…but I didn't care.

The past week I'd spent my time with Mello. Every noon until dinner time we were together, and I grew more and more attached to him. There was even a night or two where he kept me for dinner with his family, and I was usually greeted with happy faces. Armin even spent some of his time around me when I wasn't doing anything. I'm not sure if he saw the connection Mello and I had, but it was becoming way too obvious now. Especially with the way I looked at the man, doe eyed and captivated. It made me wonder if the blonde looked at me the same way.

I questioned that even now as I watched him play on with his guitar. The music as beautiful as ever.

I leaned back on the roof and listened as every note filled my head with wonder and serenity. I truly wished that I could be here forever.

Light sat beside me. "Why don't you just tell him how you feel already? I'm sick of watching you daydream about him all the time."

"I don't daydream about him _all_ the time." I corrected. "Just the times I'm around him."

"And yet you won't tell him anything about how you feel." He muttered.

I scoffed at him. "How 'bout I tell him how I feel when you tell your parents about your own 'preferences'."

He paused for a moment before grumbling. "That's completely different."

"And I'll have you know," I sat up, "that I plan on telling him how I feel."

"Oh? Well why not tell him right now? I'm sure he'd stop playing for you."

I blinked for a moment before looking away. "I'm scared to."

"Why?"

I bit my lip. "Because he might reject me."

"Oh lord, the guy spends his every day with you and you think he'd reject you? After everything you do to prove yourself to him?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I lied.

"So you don't remember all the times you left a rose on his windowsill? Or when you refill the firewood for him? And what about when…?"

"Okay, so I do a lot to prove how much I care!" I stopped him. "But I still…. I haven't told him myself how I feel, and I keep thinking he'll laugh at me or something if I do."

I slid off the roof and onto the ground to get away from the man but he just followed me down.

"So then now's the time to tell him! Look, the worst he can do is reject you and if he does, then move on! There's plenty of fish in the sea!"

"I don't want a fish! I want him!" I nearly yelled, making the man jump.

Light was pleasantly surprised by my outburst. I think because he'd never seen me more passionate about something beforehand.

He relaxed his stance. "You love him, don't you?"

I said nothing. I didn't even bother to look him in the eye. I think that's what gave me away completely.

"Wow… Matt, I… I had no idea. I thought this was just some fling."

I shook my head. "I would never do that to him. To anyone. I'm not a child, Light, and I don't appreciate being treated like one."

The man blinked as he put a hand on my shoulder. "I'll help you."

"What? What do you…?"

"I'll help you come out to him. Help you admit how much you care."

I took a jagged breath but let it out. "I'm not sure how we can do that."

"We can help!" Came an excited, rather small, voice.

I looked to my right and saw three little bodies run towards us into the ally. Armin, Eren, and their friend Mikasa all came running up to us happily.

"I knew it!" Armin said happily, hugging my waist. "I knew you liked him!"

I chuckled nervously. "And how exactly…?"

"Oh please," Eren spoke up, "like we didn't notice you ogling over him the last time you two were together."

I felt my cheeks go hot and I looked away. I really had to be more careful about how I showed myself in public.

Armin stared hopping a bit. "We can help you tell him how you feel!"

"Yeah, just ask him to that festival that's going on tomorrow." Eren replied. "All the soldiers have a day off, right? And I'm too sure Mello would go with you if you asked."

I shook my head. "No, I don't think so. It'll be crowded and full of drunk morons. Mello might go, but it's not the ideal place I'd like to tell him how I feel."

"Then invite him somewhere quiet." Mikasa suggested. "Somewhere where you can be alone."

"I wouldn't know anywhere quiet." I explained. "The only place I know is…"

And the thought hit me. He'd mentioned something to me the first day we spent together that could only further my chances with him. But I'd need help from Light to pull it off.

I explained my idea to the four and each of them thought it was a masterful idea. But I had to ask Mello tonight to meet me somewhere specific if I wanted this to happen.

Armin suddenly got an idea and whispered it to me excitedly. Honestly, it wasn't a bad idea… but I was a little nervous about having to do so.

"Come on!" Light insisted when I'd told him. "It'll be a great opportunity for you to stretch the vocals!"

"And if his father catches me?" I asked. "You know, tall blonde guy with one really strong arm?!"

"Who likes you as much as we do?!" Armin added, giggling a bit afterwards. "Come on! It'll be fun! Plus, it gets you a few bonus points with Mihael!"

"If he doesn't throw a boot at me for being too corny and terrible." I muttered. "But… I guess I could give it a go."

"So we'll meet tonight then? At Arlert's house?" Eren asked.

"Who says you three get to be part of this?" Light demanded.

"We do, since we came up with the plan, and can easily rat you out before Matt even gets the chance to tell him himself."

I patted Light on the back. "Can't argue with that logic. So we'll meet right after dinner."

"We'll get everything ready!" Armin promised before running off, Eren and Mikasa following him.

I sighed to myself. "I'm going to regret this, aren't I?"

"Hopefully not, my friend." Light reassured.

* * *

 ** _Later That Night_**

* * *

I felt my legs shake and my palms sweat. Although I truly wanted to do this, I was nervous to all hell.

Armin, Eren, and Mikasa all waited inside for me to begin, but I was getting too nervous to even move. Light was with me in the ally just below Mello's window trying to coax me into this.

"It'll be fine, just… say what's in your heart." He pushed on.

I gripped the guitar, which the kids had swiped from Mello for me, and felt my stomach lurch.

"I can't do this. What if he laughs at me?!" I said worriedly.

"Then he isn't worth your time." Light spoke calmly. "But if he likes you as much as you do him, then he won't laugh."

I bit my lip, making it bleed a little. "But…"

"No 'buts'!" He demanded. "Just play what's in your heart!"

I felt my stomach lurch again but I ignored it, swallowing my fear and placing the guitar into the correct position.

Play what's in my heart? Dear god, what the hell _was_ in my heart? Fear? Nervousness?

…

Love?

That thought made me calm down slightly. That emotion had been in my heart for days now. Ever since I first saw Mello it had been there. And I tried my hardest to prove to him that it was, but I went about it the wrong way.

I had to tell him now.

I let my heart guide me, and notes started to spring into the air.

* * *

 **(Mello P.O.V)**

I entered my room to find three whispering kids who immediately stopped when they saw me. Something about that did not sit well in my mind. Like they were plotting against me or something.

"Okay, what's with the whispers?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

They all looked at each other before they – in unison – said, "Nothing!" and smiled.

Now I was really scared.

"Should I be worried about something you guys did?"

Eren shrugged. "No. I don't think so… OW!"

Both Armin and Mikasa nudged him with their elbows then they went silent again.

I blinked. "Okay, what did you three do? Tell me right now or I'm going to your parents!"

The three of them looked at each other before Armin spoke up.

"Mello, just… stand by the window. You'll see why."

I cocked an eyebrow at them before turning around to the door. "Mother! Father!"

"Please, brother!" He pleaded. "It's not bad! We promise! Just… go stand by the window. You'll like it, I promise!"

I analyzed his body language and could see that he truly meant no harm. But… the window? What on earth had he planned?

I hummed for a moment before doing as asked and sat on the edge of my bed by the window.

"Okay… now what?"

Before he could answer me, there came a sudden spring of music to my ears. It sounded like… like a guitar. But that couldn't have been possible.

I stood from my bed and opened the window to look out and the music became louder. It honestly sounded amazing. Practiced and poised, with every ounce of meaning to it. And I was more amazed to see who was eliciting such a beautiful sound.

I smiled down at the man. "Matt?"

He didn't answer…

…he only sang.

 _"I love you too much, To live without you loving me back_

 _"I love you too much, Heaven's my witness and this is a fact_

 _"I know I belong_

 _"When I sing this song_

 _"There's love above love and it's ours_

 _"Cause I love you too much."_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

"Wow," I whispered, "he sounds so good."

Eren giggled silently. "I think Mihael likes it, too!"

He did… I could tell.

I don't think I'd ever seen my brother smile like this. Like he meant it. Truly and honestly meant it. And it made me smile in return. I knew he thought no one cared about him, but I hoped more than anything that this would teach him how untrue that was.

Matt continued on.

 _"I live for your touch. I whisper your name night after night._

 _"I love you too much. There's only one feeling and I know it's right._

 _"I know I belong,_

 _"When I sing this song,_

 _"There's love above love and it's ours,_

 _"Cause I love you too much."_

Even I think I was starting to fall for the man! He had such a strong and beautiful voice!

Mello was so lucky.

* * *

 **(Memphis P.O.V)**

"I swear I heard a guitar out here." I explained to Selena. "I swear it!"

"I heard it too, Memphis." She assured. "But where…"

We suddenly heard a voice and we made for the gate together. What we found in the ally…

…completely melted my heart.

 _"Heaven knows your name I've been Praying to have you Come here by my side._

 _"Without you a part of me's missing_

 _"Just to make you my home I will fight."_

I looked up to my boy's window just to see him practically melting away with the voice same as us.

I should have known this would happen. Those two were fated to be with each other from the start. From the very moment they looked into each other's eyes they were done for.

And that thought made me smile.

Sera and Emma came running out of the house with my father-in-law trailing them.

"Please tell me you're hearing the same thing we are." He said.

Selena hummed as she picked up Sera, and me Emma, and nodded. "Isn't it beautiful?"

"All I say is, that boy better treat him right!" The old man huffed. "A pretty song shouldn't win someone over this easily."

"It's not about the song, old man." I said calmly as I swayed back and forth to the music. "It's about the words."

"And they're winning everyone over." Selena agreed as she leaned onto my side, swaying along with me."

 _"I know I belong_

 _"When I sing this song…_

 _"There's love above love and it's ours_

 _"Cause I love you too much."_

I smiled happily. "Make it count, soldier."

* * *

 **(Matt P.O.V)**

I didn't even know what I was playing anymore. I was too enraptured in Mello's eyes to think about what I was playing. All I knew was that he wasn't laughing.

And that's all I needed to keep going.

"I love you too much!" I lost myself in the words. "I love you too much! Heaven's my witness and this is a fact,

"You live in my soul," I felt my heart sore. "Your heart is my goal."

And that smile he gave me. That wide, loving, truthful smile, sent my head into a whirl and my heart thumping louder in my chest.

"There's love above love and it's mine, Cause I love you!

"There's love above love and it's yours, Cause I love you!

"There's love above love and it's ours…"

I paused, stepping up onto a box of supplies to get closer to him.

"If you love me… As much."

The round of applause barely registered to me since I was so focused on the one person I'd looked to impress tonight. Needless to say, he wasn't laughing. So I called that a win.

I stepped onto another box of supplies to get a better look at him. "So what'd you think?"

His smile didn't fade. "I think you have talent. Should quit the military and join a travelling band."

"Only if you joined me." I answered, setting the guitar down. "But what do you say?"

"To your song?" He asked teasingly. "I don't really know what to say."

"Then don't say anything. Just meet me at the docks tomorrow. Not at noon, but right before sunset. I have something special for you. Then decide if you want me."

"If I want a soldier?" He joked.

I shook my head. "If you want me as me."

"Why do I have to wait until tomorrow to make my decision?"

"Because I don't think I fully expressed the truth of how much you mean to me. And I don't think I can really put it into words. It's something I have to show you."

He hummed at this before nodding. "Tomorrow before sunset then."

I smiled happily. "I'll be waiting."

Before leaving his window though, the blonde pulled me back up to kiss my cheek and retreated back into his room before I could react. Had Light not been there to catch me, I probably would have split my head open on the stone beneath me.

What a way to go though.

* * *

 ** _The Next Day_**

* * *

I practically dragged Mello behind me since we were losing time on this. It was a bit difficult for him to keep up but he held on tightly to my hand, not even complaining about the crowds around us.

When we got to the line I held him close to me.

"Hold on tight."

And off we went.

Although I was used to zipping around high above the ground, Mello was definitely not. He almost clawed me to pieces he'd hung on so tight. But in to time at all we were at the top of the wall, Light greeting us and unhooking me from the line.

Once we were free, I led him across the wall to the place I'd set up for the two of us to watch in perfect view.

Mello still didn't understand what was going on.

"Seriously Matt, why are we up here?"

I held his hand and grinned. "You'll see."

It was only moments later before the sky turned a deep red and pink and Mello finally understood why we were up here.

He let go of my hand and took a step towards the sight. "It's… a real sunset."

"Without the wall blocking your sight." I added. "Over the hills and mountains where there's nothing manmade to obstruct it. Just like you wanted."

The blonde kept staring ahead, himself going silent over the awe he felt. "It's magnificent."

I hugged his waist from behind and held him close. "That feeling you have right now? I feel that every single time I look at you. When I even _think_ about you. And I could never put it into words or a song just how much you make me feel, Mello."

He gently placed a hand over my own. "No one has ever done anything like this for me. I didn't think anyone even cared."

I hugged him closer to me. "I care. And I'd give you the world if I could."

He gripped my hand a bit tighter. "I'll settle for the sunset… for _this_ sunset."

"So then… what do you say? Do you feel the same way I do?"

The blonde went silent for what felt like the longest time before he shook his head. "No… I don't."

This shattered my heart and I was about to let him go before he pulled me back in.

He turned his head to face me and I could see tears welling up in his eyes. "It's so much more than that, Matt."

His lips pressed against mine and that was it for me. I could almost swear I felt my nearly shattered heart break through my chest it was beating so hard.

He chose me…

…he loved me…

…

And I loved him.

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

"So you think Mihael wants Matt?" I asked my father.

"If he won't take him, I will!" My mother replied. "Don't care if he's younger!"

"You're married, my dear." My father reminded with a cheeky smile.

My mother crossed her arms. "Well, if you sang me a love song once in a while then maybe I wouldn't be falling for younger men."

"I'd happily sing to you, my dear!" The man replied happily before clearing his throat and standing up. "Wise men say, only fools rush in! But I can't help falling in love with you!"

He took her by the hands and started dancing about with her squealing happily as he continued to sing in his baritone voice. The sight even made me laugh a bit. I never saw my parents act this way. Then again, we haven't had this much fun in a long time.

I suddenly heard Eren gasp. "Armin! Get over here!"

I ran to his side and looked out the window to see what he was seeing. My parents still dancing away.

I had to cover my mouth to stop from giggling.

I'd never seen anyone really kiss before, and when I had I thought it was gross, but seeing Matt and Mello together outside lip-locked and oblivious to the world around them, I couldn't help but be happy for them.

"They look good together." Eren commented.

I rested my head on his shoulder unconsciously. "They do, don't they."

I hadn't noticed Eren rested his own head atop mine until he suddenly jolted upright.

"Run! They're coming inside!"

We scrambled to get to our seats and away from the window before Mello could see us and started to pretend like we didn't see a thing. My parents had completely left the kitchen to continue their dance in the sitting room. I thought it was sweet but Eren was just a little bit confused by it.

The moment Mihael stepped into the dining room with Matt tailing him and they saw our fake smiles he knew all too well what we were doing.

"Say anything to your parents about what you saw and I tell them about the chicken you stole from the butcher."

"We didn't steal it!" Eren defended. "We liberated it!"

The blonde stood unfazed but Matt chuckled. "Where'd you end up hiding it?"

"Take a wild guess." Mello muttered.

We suddenly heard a loud clucking from upstairs and we smiled innocently.

"Fine." Eren agreed. "We'll say nothing."

"Smart boy." Mihael replied before heading into the den.

The moment they did they found the two dancing adults humming and singing to a few songs.

Mello seemed surprised – and rather confused – but Matt seemed to enjoy the positive atmosphere.

"C'mon Mel! WE have to join them, now!" He persisted.

The blonde teen blinked then turned away. "I'm going to bed."

Matt didn't let him get away however and pulled him into the den anyway, forcing him to dance with the soldier.

Both Eren and I watched the grown-ups in confusion for a bit before he turned to me and said, "Adults are weird."

I nodded. "You think we'll ever be like that?"

He blinked. "I really hope not."


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N:**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

I smiled happily at Mello's humming. He sounded so happy, so calm. It was so different from what he was beforehand. And I loved seeing him like this. Like he actually had a reason to laugh and smile along with us.

Having Matt in his life changed everything around me. Mihael was more fun and in turn this made everyone else have more fun. Even my grandfather was a little less grouchy after seeing the man as happy as he was. And that wasn't something I could say often since my grandfather didn't always approve of anything. He seemed to be warming up to Matt now that he was over more.

The only thing that was negative about all this was how much the two had to hide away. Not that people wouldn't understand, but there were too many extremists in the world who would do anything to abolish what they had together. These kind of extremists believed union was between a man and a woman and should stay that way. They believed love and union had no place for the same sex couples, and it made me a bit angry. Angry because I couldn't see why two people who loved each other couldn't be together happily.

But then… that was the world we lived in. A world where the unique and outspoken couldn't be so without a price.

It was sad really.

I ate my lunch quickly and this caught my mother's attention.

"Slow down, Armin. You'll choke on your food."

I swallowed the morsel quickly before turning to her. "I have to eat quickly. Eren is meeting me in the meadow after lunch. I want to get there as soon as possible."

"You have plenty of time." Mihael reminded me sternly. "Don't make yourself sick eating like an animal, or you won't see Eren for a few days."

I shrunk in my seat slightly. "Yes sir."

Even if he was a lot better than he was before, Mihael was still as scary as ever.

He grabbed his bag and headed for the door. "What do you need from the market, mother?"

She handed him a list and a small purse with enough coin to help him get everything. "All this, and I need some blue thread. Armin and the girls have been growing so much lately, they're going to need new clothes for the winter."

He nodded. "I'll be back soon." Then left without another word.

Sera giggled. "I'll bet he meets Matt on the way there."

"With how much that boy follows him," Mother replied, "I wouldn't doubt that he would."

I finished up the rest of my lunch and asked if I would be able to leave then. With my mother's permission, I quickly took off from the table and out the door. When I'd left the house I ran right past Mihael on the way to the meadow and I managed to catch a glimpse of a familiar soldier watching from the rooftops. In no time I noticed this same soldier started following me on the rooftops.

I looked up at him. "I'll be fine, Matt! I'm just going to meet Eren!"

"Knowing your brother, he'd kill me if he knew I left you alone down the alley!" He chuckled out. "Consider it private protection for helping me with Mello!"

I smiled happily at this before continuing my run through the alley. Once the houses were behind me and I saw nothing but green, Matt left me to my own. Now it would just be me and Eren.

And no longer did I enter into the meadow did I find sleeping beauty himself passed out under the tree. He really needed to start sleeping more at night if he wanted to stop randomly sleeping anywhere he found comfortable.

I sat beside the brunette and hummed, leaning my head on my knees. Eren always looked most peaceful when he slept. His face was relaxed, his breathing low and even, and every now and then I could catch a few words escape from his mouth. I never really knew what he was saying, but sometimes I caught my name and it made me blush. I never really imagined Eren thinking about me in his sleep, but the thought made my heart quiver slightly. I liked to have believed he cared for me more than anyone, even my own family, but I couldn't. It was too much for me to believe. Eren never really thought about anything other than leaving the wall and being away from everything. Including me in that perfect picture he had, was a stretch.

I heard him stir slightly and his green eyes fluttered open. When he noticed me, they shot wide open and he startled into a sitting position.

"Armin! Jeez, you shoulda woke me!"

I cringed inward a bit. "Sorry."

He was silent for a moment before humming. "No, don't be. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I guess I just… I don't know. But it was a nice nap."

"Any good dreams?" I asked.

Again he was silent for a moment before lying back down on the grass. "Now that you mention it, I think I was dreaming about something. Something to do with the titans again. It's like I was close to them. Like I could see and smell them. Does that sound weird?"

I shook my head. "Not to me. Then again, I sometimes think I can smell the sea when I've never even been there to know what it would smell like. My grandfather said it was salt water, so I put some salt in a glass of water one time and tried to see if I could replicate my dream. It turned out that I only ended up with an odorless, foul tasting drink."

Eren chuckled. "At least you know for sure now."

I shrugged. "I suppose… but I'd still like to visit the sea and find out more about it. To see why it has salt in it, and if it can do anything to help fight titans."

"You think there's a connection?" The brunette asked.

"Maybe… maybe not. I mean, if there was then wouldn't we have settled near the sea to keep the titans away?"

"I guess you're right. But who knows, there could be more to it than we think. We just need someone brave and fearless to find out for us."

"I guess _I'm_ not a good candidate." I mumbled out.

Eren pulled me down for a hug. "You kidding! You'd be the first person they send in for this kind of thing! You'd be perfect for finding out more about humans before the wall! You and your brother!"

I hummed at that before cuddling into his arms. "Maybe Mihael, but not me. I'm too small, too cowardly. They'd want my brother and father there because of their strength and attitudes for a mission like that."

He hugged a bit tighter. "Well if _I_ was in charge, I'd have you before them any day! You're a lot smarter than your dad, and I'd only choose Mello so he could keep an eye on us. Let's face it, he wouldn't let us go unless he did."

I giggled at that before cuddling a bit more into his chest. "Thanks, Eren."

I could almost feel the smile on his face as he rest his head on mine. "We'll find a way out, I promise. And when we do I promise I'll take you to the sea. And we can live there together and never look back! No titans, no military, and no parents!"

I looked up in worry when he said this. "But… we can invite them over some days. Right?"

"Of course!" He promised me. "I still want to see my mom and dad, just not every day! We can invite our whole family's out there one day! But the rest of the time will just be you and me."

I smiled once again before relaxing in his hug once more. "Okay. I'm good with that."

Especially with the part of it just being the two of us.

* * *

 ** _Later That Night_**

* * *

 **(Matt P.O.V)**

"You are so lucky Armin is staying over at Eren's tonight." Mello reminded me.

I continued kissing his bare neck continuing down to his shoulders, a sly grin on my face. "Luck be with the two of us, Mello."

He rolled over in his bed to cuddle against me. "I suppose you're correct."

And our lips were locked once more.

I'd had to control myself for the month Mello and I had been together, looking for ways to ignore the urges. More times than not we snuck around or found an empty building we used for our own, but we never got this far however. We'd never been intimate and together in this fashion. When I'd heard Armin would be away for the night, I had to jump in and try.

And I succeeded.

We pulled back for air but his arms were still hooked behind my neck. "My parents will kill you if they find you here."

"Naked in your bed, or just here in general?" I joked.

I got hit for that one but only weakly since the blonde was too tired to truly hurt me.

He'd just begin nodding off against my chest when he suddenly spoke up.

"Matt… I need you to promise me something."

I blinked at the sudden seriousness. "Anything."

He took a moment to himself before he said, "Promise that if anything happens to me, you'll take take care of my family. They trust and love you as much as I do, and I know I couldn't let anyone else take care of them were something to happen to me."

I jolted up a bit at this. "Mello, what on earth do you think's going to happen? I mean… do you think I'd allow anything to happen to you?!"

"Just promise me, Matt." He replied, looking at me with pleading eyes. "We don't know what's going to happen in the future, especially with extremists and loyalists looking for easy ways to get their points across. A soldier expressing love to someone of the same gender can lead to an uproar. I just want to be prepared."

Although his words pained me, I nodded to his request before kissing him lovingly. "I promise, should anything happen to you, I'll take care of your family."

His kissed me back. "I love you, Matt."

Those words could not have sounded more true, and more fearful, to me. "I love you too, Mels."


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N:**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Mello P.O.V)**

I woke up in a start, cold sweat dripping off my forehead. I'd just had a nightmare but I couldn't remember what it was about. I just remember screaming from all around me, the smell of burnt flesh, and… falling. Falling into nothingness. It had all felt so real to me. Like I'd actually fallen from the sky, and could hear the screams of others around me. It didn't make sense.

I slowly climbed out of bed, noting how high the sun was. Had I truly slept in until noon? That wasn't like me.

I hurried downstairs to find everyone but Armin in the dining room. My mother immediately ran to my side and asked if I was alright, saying that Armin explained how I'd been tossing in my sleep.

I nodded groggily. "I'm fine. I think I was just having nightmares. I'm sorry for sleeping in."

"Don't be. You needed it." She said as she gave me a hug.

I blinked and looked about the room. "Where did Armin run off to?"

She backed away but her expression changed into a more positive look. "He and Eren are at the docks with Mikasa. He said something about asking you to meet him there. He seemed worried about you and your restlessness."

I nodded before heading for the door. "I'll pick something up to eat on the way there. For now I need to ask Matt about something."

"Oh? What about?" My father asked.

I paused with my hand on the doorknob, thinking about whether or not my father would know more than him. I reconsidered asking him though since the man hadn't been near a titan in years and couldn't exactly help me.

I looked back at him. "Just something I've been wondering about for a while. Nothing to worry about."

He hummed at this before returning to his lunch. "Carry on then."

I forced out a grin before heading out the door. In no time at all once I'd begun walking did the soldier himself join me, landing in from the roofs.

"Hey, what's up?" He asked worriedly. "You never sleep in until noon. Are you feeling alright?"

"Matt, what do titans smell like?" I questioned, ignoring his worry.

He stopped in his tracks and looked at me with question. "What do you mean? Why do you…?"

"Just answer me." I growled.

He blinked in surprise before looking down at his feet to think about it.

"Well… I've only ever encountered one titan, but I remember the smell of burning flesh when I was near him. That and the rusty smell of blood. Other than that, nothing really."

I shivered at that thought and continued my walk down to the docks. This didn't stop Matt from chasing after me though.

"Mel, what's going on?" He asked. "If there's something wrong…"

"I had a nightmare last night." I explained. "A bad one, it made me toss in my sleep. I don't usually have those types of dreams, but this time I did. In it were screams and the smell of burning flesh. And I was falling into an abyss. The screams sounded familiar to me... it was haunting."

He was quiet at this, which made me more afraid. I wasn't sure he was really able to help me until…

"That… that sounds like the dream I had. The same one Light had as well."

I turned to him in fear. "What? Did you see anything?! Was there anything you could make out?!"

"No," he said calmly, "it was like a haze. I don't remember falling, though. The screams of terror I remember, but I wasn't falling. I was… shooting through the air, blindingly and mercilessly. I felt anger and hatred. I don't know why though. I've been angry before but never like that. Anyone who knows me knows I'm always joking around or not even caring."

"And Light?" I questioned.

"Same thing with the haze and screaming. But he just remembers running about. Nothing about falling or zipping through the air."

I took a shaky breath before beginning my walk to the docks again. "Three people have the same type of dream with one difference in each end. That doesn't sound plausible."

Before I could ask him more about his dream someone suddenly pulled him back from my side. It was a brunette man, the one Matt knew as his partner and trainer, Light Yagami.

"Matt, we have to go." He said sternly, dragging him by the arm.

"Go? Go where?" Matt asked worriedly.

"The captain wants us to check something out. It's something important. I don't know the details, I was just told to come grab you."

I took Matt's arm and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Just go. I'll meet you by the docks afterward."

He nodded sadly before planting one on my own cheek then running off with Light, using his gear to zip up to the roofs and past the other buildings.

As I watched him go, I felt my stomach churn uncomfortably. Something was wrong about today…

…something was very wrong.

* * *

 **(Matt P.O.V)**

"What's the problem, captain?" I asked immediately upon arrival of the wall.

Captain Hannes, a man known to be drunk half the time he was working, gestured towards the outside of the wall. "Take a look and tell me what you see."

I did as asked but noticed something was off. On the usual basis we would see titans, tall and small, punching and hitting the wall in order to get to us. But today was different. Today they were all gathered in one certain spot of the wall for no real apparent reason. This was most unlike them.

Hannes chuckled, his alcohol breath permeating the air around me. "Those bastards get smart every few years or so, which means we gotta show 'em who's boss."

"What do you mean?" I asked worriedly.

"I mean, we take 'em out, soldier!" He said excitedly. "But I need you two to do something first. The titans have gathered around the docking area, and there's more than a few people there who shouldn't be around to witness this attack. We can't have mass panic now can we? Your job is to remove civilians from the area while I fetch the other soldiers. We'll then take out the smartest of the titan group, kill a few five metres, then be on our way. Things should return to normal after this."

"Ser," Light spoke up, "I don't mean to question your abilities or anything, but there's not many soldiers in this district for fighting, and there's a numerous amount of titans down there. Couldn't we send for some help from Trost or…"

"Do as I command, soldier." Hannes replied before zipping off down to the barracks.

I felt my heart quiver slightly and my stomach churn. "Light, I don't like this."

He was silent for a moment before patting my back. "Let's just get the area clear and get all this over with so we can go to bed tonight."

I nodded fearfully before following him off the wall and into the docking area. My first objective…

Get Mello out of there.

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

I felt a little fearful watching Mello pace back and forth in front of me. He'd told me he'd been alright, but I could tell that in his eyes he was not doing alright. Whatever he'd dreamed about beforehand definitely made an impact on him in some way or another. He wasn't known to have too many nightmares, so I could only guess that this one had surprised him greatly.

He finally sat down beside me and took a breath. "Matt, you'd better get here soon." I heard him mumble.

Something was definitely wrong.

I put a hand on his shoulder. "He'll be here. He's on his way right now I bet!"

"Yeah!" Eren added. "Don't worry about him! He's a soldier, he knows what he's doing!" He then glared at Mikasa. "Unlike _some_ people!"

I cringed inward a bit when he glared at her. She'd let it slip to his parents about him joining the corps and he was not pleased about her doing that. I kinda wasn't as pleased either since I knew it would probably ruin the chances of us going outside the wall and finding the sea where we would live. But I had to be a bit more positive…

…I had to.

Mello had learned about this while sticking around us and found it both in good, as well as bad, taste for Mikasa to have told Eren's parents.

He looked up from the ground. "Eren, quit with your bullying. Mikasa was only trying to look out for you." He then turned to Mikasa. "And you should have known better than to tell Grisha and Kalura about what Eren wanted to keep to himself. As his friend, you're to keep the secrets he doesn't wish repeated."

"He wouldn't have told them." She said bluntly.

Mello glared. "Then that's his decision to make. Not yours."

She fell silent then and we all felt the tension rise a bit.

I suddenly heard someone land from the rooftops and I looked back to find Matt heading our way. Mello immediately jumped up and ran to his side, asking questions about what the captain had wanted.

Eren scoffed. "Captain? More like a rat. Hannes will never change."

Matt answered his question right away. "We need to clear the area. Some titans are gathering near the docking area and we need to fight them. Hannes wants everyone out of the area so there's no mass hysteria."

Mello got a bit scared at this. "But why are they gathering near here? It doesn't make sense."

"It has to do with the deviant titans. Sometimes they get smart and get others to gang up with them. We just have to take that one down then…"

A loud crash of lightning struck through the sky and made everyone cover their ears and gasp in terror. Even Mello and Matt jumped at the sound. Never had anything like that broke through the silence of Shiganshina. It just wasn't common for us to hear loud noises like that.

Eren looked towards me. "What do you think that was?"

I shrugged, too scared to really say anything.

I felt Mello pull me in behind him. "Matt? Where did you say those titans were gathering?"

I heard the soldier swallow his fear. "Right behind that wall."

No sooner when he said this did a thump echo through the quietness of shocked silence. Then another…

…and another…

…

…

…then all hell flooded our sight.

A red, bloodied hand, with no skin or nails reached up and grabbed the top of wall. A second hand doing the same, before a large, red face peaked over the wall. A face with no skin, no eyelids, no mouth or even a nose. Just a face with muscle a tissue keeping it's jaw closed. Steam and mist flowed from the bottom of this face where I could only assume a body was.

The whole area reeked of rotten and burnt flesh.

Mello slowly grabbed Eren from behind and pulled him in beside me, Mikasa following slowly.

The face seemed to make a slow movement which indicated it's body was moving.

"Eren," Mello whispered, "get to the emergency escape ships."

The face moved again and I heard someone scream.

"NOW!"

The wall blew open with debris being flung our way. Thanks to Matt, however, we managed to escape the debris when he pushed all of us into an alleyway.

The fall of Shiganshina, and wall Maria, had begun.


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: Warning, a bit gruesome, and morose.**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

Screams could be heard everywhere around me. Screams of panic, of loss, of pain… of death. It was hard to stay focused on the task at hand when all I heard were screams.

Mello had taken me by the arm and dragged me as fast as he could to the emergency escape ships. We'd lost Eren in the fray of people, but I was too sure he was running back home to grab his mother. This worried me greatly, and I tried to follow, but Mello kept a strong grip on my arm. And, of course, when we'd arrived there'd been more than a thousand people trying to get on the ships and escape, but Mello had gotten me to the front with help from Matt.

Right before he left me to the ship, he leaned down and hugged me tightly. "Stay on the ship, Armin. I'll be back with mom and da and we'll meet you on the other side of the wall. Promise me you won't leave this ship, and whatever happens… just take care of yourself."

I sniffled slightly. "I'm scared, Mihael."

He hugged a bit tighter. "Don't be. I won't let anything hurt you. I promise."

He then let me go and ran back into the crowd towards our home. Matt following him closely.

"Armin?" I suddenly heard a familiar voice. "My boy! You're safe!"

I looked back and saw my grandfather looking down to me with tears in his eyes. The moment I knew he was alright, and that I wasn't alone, I ran to his side and hugged him in both relief and fear. I couldn't help but pray that we weren't the only ones in the family left alive.

"Where's mom and Da?" I asked, trying not to cry. "And the girls?"

"Still at home. What about your brother? Where'd he run off to?"

"He went to get them. He'll be back."

I prayed he'd be back.

* * *

 **(Mello P.O.V)**

I ran past the screaming people and the few soldiers trying to get them out of the streets. It would be a matter of time before they went into battle mode and had to take down some unwanted visitors. For the moment though, the people were their main concern.

For me… my family was my concern.

We made it to my home and I found my mother and father hurrying out the door with Sera and Emma in their grasps. Once they saw me, they immediately hugged me and thanked the gods that I was alive. I told them Armin was safe but that the ship he was on had probably departed by now. There was still a few more to come by though so we had a chance. We just had to move.

"I'll get you to the ships, but then I have to leave." Matt announced. "With titans coming in I have to fight."

I didn't like that he had to leave us, and that I'd probably lose him, but I nodded anyway and said nothing about it. There was no talking him out of it.

The ground suddenly shook beneath me and I froze. Something was terribly wrong.

Another shake in the ground and my heart stopped completely. Footsteps.

I looked up to find more than ten titans making their way towards us. Some were smiling like madmen, others… others just looked horrifying. Each one looked human in some shape or form, but I could already tell that there was no humanity in those creatures.

One of the smaller ones caught sight of something and leaned down to pick up a wriggling person screaming for their life. In one fell swoop the titan broke him in half and blood splattered everywhere. The screaming was silenced, and the monster had it's fill. The scene was horrific and disgusting, and I almost wished it had just been a bad dream.

But it wasn't… this was all too real.

I felt Matt grab my arm. "Snap out of it, Mels! We gotta go!"

I shook my head and ignore the tears forming in my eyes, running with the man until he let go of my arm. I stayed to the rear of my family to make sure they'd be fine, but this was my mistake.

One of the smaller titans had been walking along the street adjacent to the one we were on and had knocked over a building to get to a human. This building nearly fell down right on top of me but I managed to get out of the way before it could kill me. But now it stood right in front of me, in a pile of rubble, and blocked me from my parents and sisters. There was no way I could climb it. I had to find another way.

Matt immediately got worried for me and tried to climb the rubble to get to me.

"Matt! Stay with my parents! Get them to the escape ships!"

"WHAT! Are you crazy!"

"JUST DO IT, MATT!" I demanded, trying not to cry.

I leaned my forehead against the rubble and choked down my fear. "Get them to the ships. I'll find another way out of here."

"Those monsters will kill you before then!" He screamed.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "Remember your promise to me, Matt. If something happens to me, you take care of them. They need you more than I do."

"I won't leave you behind!" He screamed angrily.

"Just go!" I demanded. "Take them to the ships or I swear I will never speak to you again!"

He was silent for a moment before finally caving in.

"I'll be back for you. Just find a hiding place…"

"I don't hide, Matt." I said with some bravery in my voice. "My family doesn't hide from the problems. We face them head on!"

I could hear a sad chuckle from the man. "Then don't get yourself killed before I find you!"

"I can do that." I promised before tearing up even more. "I love you, Matt."

I heard him choke up slightly. "I love you too, Mels."

The ground started to move more and I forced myself away from the wall, trusting Matt to get my family out of there in time.

Now… it was about my own survival.

* * *

 **(Eren P.O.V)**

I tried to fight him… I tried so damn hard to fight him. In the end there was nothing I could do. Not for myself…

…not for my mother.

I watched him eat her. I watched that bastard eat my own mother, and I watched Hannes do nothing to stop him! THAT COWARD!

Mikasa did nothing to comfort me as the ship sailed off. I'd like to believe she was heartless, but maybe she just didn't know what to say. Then again… she didn't say much as it was.

Our ship had been the last to depart, and more than a few people had fought to cling to this ship. Some had jumped on at the last second. Others had jumped on when it began moving. I felt sorry for those people. Each of them clinging to the last shred of life they had left… only to meet with an unfortunate demise.

We entered into the Trost district and luck be with me I found Armin almost instantly with his own family amongst the crowd. It looked like everyone had survived the attack…

…everyone but Mello.

I asked where he was and they all got somber.

"We were separated on the way here." Memphis replied morosely. "But Matt is determined to get him back."

"He wasn't on the ship with you… was he?" Selena asked hopefully.

I looked down at my feet. "No… he wasn't."

I heard Armin swallow his fear. "And… your mother?"

I couldn't help the tears that fell when he'd asked and he almost immediately hugged me close to him when he saw this. Out of everyone in this fucked up world, Armin was by far my most trusted friend. The only one I could cry in front of without fear.

I felt his mother and father join in on the hug and soon his sisters and grandfather.

Selena kissed my head lovingly. "We'll take care of you, sweetheart. You and Mikasa."

"Don't worry, my boy." Memphis said as he hugged tighter. "She isn't gone from your heart. She will always remain there for as long as you can remember her."

I looked up at him, feeling a bit angry at what he'd said. "And… if Mello doesn't make it back?"

Armin squeezed a bit tighter. "He'll make it back."

I hugged the blonde tightly, immediately regretting what I'd said. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Of course he'll make it back…"

…of course he will.

* * *

 **(Matt P.O.V)**

I zipped through the air like lightning, passing by soldiers and and titans along the way. I wasn't leaving that family without Mello, not when he'd done so much for them! He needed to be with them! I needed to reunite them! It was my job to keep everyone alive! IT WAS MY JOB!

I couldn't fail them.

I made it to the rubble where I'd lost him and began searching. More than enough blood was splattered around me where I could have assumed that he'd been killed. But I couldn't believe it. Mello was fine, I just had to look for him. I knew he wouldn't be caught so easily by those monsters, and I knew he wouldn't let them find him. I just had to think about how and where he would hide or run to in this situation.

I took to the roofs again and looked for any signs that he was near. I had begun to lose hope when I spotted a titan looking into a wrecked building with some interest. With civilians having evacuated all the buildings, and more than few having been killed, there was a shot that this was indeed who I was looking for.

I made a running start and drew my blades, the gear shooting out and zipping me through the air in a flash. In no time I made it to the titan itself, and before it could react I sliced the proper spot on the neck before pushing off of it's flesh and landing on the broken roof.

When I looked inside, my heart stopped in pure happiness.

The blonde stood there, capturing his breath, and looked back at me with a tired grin.

"You weren't kidding when you said some of them were smart." He commented. "They all look pretty stupid to me."

I held out my hand. "Glad to see you're still alive."

He grabbed my hand and I pulled him into my arms. "Glad to see you came back."

I locked lips with him happily, ecstatic to see him alive and well. He kissed me back of course, and for a moment of time we were oblivious to the danger of things around us. It wasn't until we heard a crash echo through the sky that we immediately broke apart and turned our attention to the imminent danger that was heading right for us.

A titan, not that large in size, was covered head to toe in a bone-like armour and he ran right through buildings like they weren't even a problem.

"Holy shit…" I gasped out, "that… thing. It's destroying everything!"

I felt Mello tug on my shirt. "We have to get going. There's no killing that one. It has too much protection."

The armoured titan suddenly turned towards the buildings we stood on and made a run for us. It was fast, it was ruthless, and it wasn't backing down.

I picked up Mello into my arms. "Hold on tight!"

I made a running start and jumped into the air. Thanks to my little tampering of my gear, I didn't need to push any buttons to make the gear shoot. I just needed to stomp the right heel at the right moment.

We shot through the air and whipped ourselves to another building, the armoured titan crashing into our previous spot. From then on we made ourselves to the wall where we'd be safer. The only thing was, we were farther away from the escape route. Which meant we'd have to run it along the wall until we were in the safe zone.

I misjudged the velocity and distance however and before I was able to stop myself, I slammed right into the wall, breaking my arm and nearly dropping Mello to his death. Thankfully though I'd bit down the pain long enough where I was able to get us back up into safety and where I could rest my arm.

The blonde got worried and tried to bandage me up.

"Jeevas, you moron! You could have killed yourself!" He said angrily and worriedly at once.

I chuckled at that as he fixed my arm into place. "I tend to do that. The captain at the cadets said I was a natural soldier. Always looking for a worthy cause to fight and never caring if I died for it."

"That's not being a soldier, it's being a moron!" He replied twice as angrily, putting his hands on my face to make me look up at him. He then kissed me lovingly before adding, "But you're definitely a better soldier than the rest of those drunkards."

I grinned at him. "I try."

A sudden tremor sent us into a worry and I looked down over the wall to see the armoured titan fighting and punching the wall. He was making amazing headway too!

I grabbed Mello with my good arm and started to run. "We have to get to the safe zone! NOW!"

No questions or fighting, Mello just followed and held my hand as tightly as he could. The tremors kept repeating over and over again, shaking us every now and then until we were almost thrown off. This wasn't good. It could only mean the armoured titan was following us now. That it was trying to make us fall.

A sudden eruption of a tremor sent us flying in the opposite direction, and the stone crumbled beneath us until Mello fell through and I dove in to catch him, not caring about the pain in my arm. The tremors continued as the blonde hung there from my arm, nothing to help him climb up and nowhere to land where he'd be safe. Even worse, I couldn't pull him up because I arm wouldn't allow it. I couldn't do anything but watch as he hung there, clinging to my wrist with every ounce of strength he had.

I had to think of something, and fast!

I tried pulling him up but it was no use. The shattered bone in my arm couldn't handle the weight.

I clung to the man helplessly. Tryin to devise a plan…

…but it was useless.

The blonde suddenly looked off into the distance before looking down beneath him.

"There's a sunset on the horizon. Remember when you took me to see the sunset…" he whispered quietly. "It was where we first kissed."

"Mello, what are you talking about!? This isn't the time…!"

He looked up at me, tears in his eyes. "Don't forget me, Matt…"

My eyes widened and my heart stopped.

He forced out a grin. "…I promise, I won't forget you this time."

And he let go.

I held on to his wrist as much as I could, begging, pleading for Mello to hold on, to not do this, TO STAY WITH ME!

…

…but he slipped from my grasp… and he fell into titan infested lands…

…

…

…and something broke inside of me.

I didn't know if it had been my heart or my sanity, but something shattered inside of me when he was gone from my grasp. I couldn't scream or cry to the heavens… I could only tear up and look to the heavens. My world was broken… cracked and beyond repair.

I looked over to my left and watched as soldiers began fighting the titans, failing miserably. And I felt an undying rage take over me.

Those bastards killed him… they broke through our walls and killed him!

…

Now it was time for repayment.

For humanity!

FOR GLORY!

…

For Mello.

I ignored my broken arm, pushing myself off the ground and drawing my blades in a rush of rage.

I wasn't reporting back to Arlert with this news without a head or two on my count. It wouldn't bring Mello back…

…but I wouldn't let them win this fight.

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

The rain came in heavy, and the haze set in almost immediately after. It had been dry for quite a while, and many people had prayed for the rain to come for the harvest season. Those people were probably dead now. Eaten by those monsters.

…

What if Mihael had met with the same fate?

Eren put an arm around me as we waited in the cold rain for any sign of my brother. Matt wouldn't have gotten him in through the ships, but over the wall or even another exit maybe. All I knew was Matt wouldn't come back without him.

I knew he wouldn't.

A horn sounded from the top of wall Maria and I heard my father sigh.

"They're calling back all the soldiers. It's a useless fight."

A brunette soldier suddenly ran up to us and asked us if we'd seen Matt. I knew him as Light Yagami, a friend of Matt's from his training days, but if he hadn't seen Matt then…

…no. No, Matt was alive. He was alive and was with Mello. He had to have been! He wouldn't…!

A round of gasps filled the air and everyone turned to see a bloodied and bruised soldier limp his way towards us with his head down and his eyes averted. His clothes, skin, and mostly his hair was drenched in blood. But his hair… his hair had been tainted and dyed into a blood red that now stood out over the grey of the rain.

He limped over towards me, and I noticed he had a familiar set of goggles over his eyes…

…Matt?

The bloodied man stopped in front of me, looking up slightly to lock eyes with me. His green eyes were red and puffy, like he'd done nothing but cry. And seeing this…

…I couldn't. I couldn't believe it. Mello was alive! HE WAS!

The man dropped to his knees and started to sob. "I'm sorry."

Eren looked at me in worry. "Armin… I… I'm so sorry."

I said nothing. I just dropped to my knees and cried. It wasn't fair… IT WASN'T FAIR!

My parents pulled me into a hug but it didn't stop the tears. My brother was gone… he was gone. And there was no getting him back.

My father turned to the now red head in front of us. "Please stand up, Matt. You did everything you could."

He shook his head. "I let him fall… I LET HIM DIE!"

My mother immediately brought him into a hug. Not saying a word.

I don't know what happened while he was with him, but I knew Matt well enough that he wouldn't have just let Mello die like that. But I did believe that there was more to the story than he was telling.

I sniffled back the pain and looked at the soldier. "What happened? Tell us everything!"

The man did as asked hesitantly. Not leaving out any detail. It figures that Mello would give his life for someone he loved. Had it had been Matt on that end instead of him… I'm too sure he would have given his life for him as well.

The red head continued to cry even after his story. "I promised him long before all this that I'd look after all of you should something happen to him. And I will. If it can help revive whatever honour I've lost. But only if you will let me."

My father leaned in and put a hand on the man's shoulder. "Mello loved you with every fibre of his being. You made his life better. And I know if you'd had the chance, you would have given your own life for his. Having you in our family would be an honour in itself."

The man lowered his head once more. "Please… please believe me when I said I tried."

I held back the tears as I ran in to hug him. "I know you did. You're the most trustworthy soldier here. It's why Mello loved you."

The tears didn't stop for him there… but his words did…

…

…all of his words did.

I don't know if he'd lost the will to speak, or he just didn't trust himself to speak. But after that day, Matt no longer spoke a word to anyone. And not long after he was awarded with a medal of honour, did he throw it over the wall into titan territory then desert the military altogether. He was asked to go on the recon mission but flat out refused.

And thanks to him and his protectiveness over us, no one from my family were allowed to go on the mission either. I doubted it was even a recon mission at all actually. Just a way for the military to solve the food shortage by getting rid of enough people.

It was sickening.

The thoughts of what had happened still weighed heavily on my mind and Eren's. We'd both lost someone important to us. We'd both lost a family member. And _that_ we couldn't just forgive and forget.

Eren wanted to be part of the survey corps to end titans once and for all now. But I now wanted to join them for my own reasons.

Mihael was strong. He was resilient. And above all, he had courage. I wanted to have all that as well. I was the only son my father had left, and I'd be damned if I let him have a wimpy and worthless son.

It took some convincing for my family, and especially Matt, to let me go. But in the end, once I was old enough, they let me go into the cadets along with Eren and Mikasa. From then on I would prove myself to my family that I wasn't worthless. That Mello didn't die for nothing. I'd prove to be a perfect soldier and help rid the world of the titans.

I'd do it for my brother.

…

For Mello.


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N:**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

I could almost swear the rain was drenched through to my skin by now, even if I'd had the hood on it wouldn't have helped. I guess I only did it to myself since I was so slow. But I got winded way too easily and my mind had travelled elsewhere while we were doing laps. Eren stuck by me as much as he could, but when he was yelled at by the commanding officer he had no choice but to leave me behind, whispering a sorry to me before leaving.

I felt my heart burn in my chest from overworking and I tried to ignore it. But it was becoming more and more impossible the longer we ran.

 _'What a disappointment I am to you, brother.'_ I thought hopelessly. _'Please don't be mad.'_

"Arlert!" Screamed the officer. "If you don't get your sorry ass in with the rest of the group I'll make you clean dishes with your tongue! Hope you like three day old stew!"

I gritted my teeth and brought up the pace. The officer in charge of us wouldn't have actually done this to me, but I knew he'd make me run more laps until long after sunset were I not to listen. He did it to Sasha… he'll do so to me as well.

Poor girl had nearly collapsed from exhaustion, or so Mikasa had told us, and by the next day she learned to hide her food a lot better. She was sweet though, and you couldn't fault her for being like she was. Some people understood what a smile, and food, could do for one's sanity and happiness.

I caught up to the second last person in the group, Connie I think his name was, and he patted my back happily.

"Good thing you hurried up there, Arlert!" He he responded with a smile. "Don't know how much you woulda' liked licking all those plates."

I forced a chuckle out and continued running. Connie was a nice guy and he never seemed to have a problem with anyone while we were training. Unlike Annie or Jean, where she ignored everyone she met, and _he_ tried to pick a fight with Eren. All because of something he'd said over the colossal titan. We were there, we saw it, and we watched it destroy the wall and our homes…

…

And our family members.

The officer in charge of training let us stop the laps and commanded that we go inside. We were finally done for today.

The next step for tomorrow, one that we'd all been waiting for since getting in the military, would be working with the three dimensional maneuvering gear. For the past few years it'd been nothing but strength and mind training, but now we got to be real soldiers and learn how to maneuver like them as well. But for now we were allowed to eat and then rest.

We all walked into the mess hall, muddied and dirty, and each sat down at a respective seat. I, of course, sat down with Eren and Mikasa, but I was too tired to carry on with a conversation. My father warned me about joining in the military, and yet still I decided to go with it.

He was probably laughing his ass off just thinking about it…

…that or worrying over me.

I noticed in our three years of training that both Eren and Mikasa were absolutely dominating the fields in their own way. Mikasa was a phenomenal soldier and always led the way in marches or laps, and she was a hell of a lot stronger than a bunch of soldiers I'd met in my lifetime. I even briefly wondered how Matt would do in a fight against her if what he said about being top of his class was true. As for Eren, he wasn't as good as Mikasa, but he had heart and lots of it. Always trying to prove himself, always going above and beyond the call of duty. He did better than I expected him to.

…and then there was scraggly little me. Coming in from behind almost every time.

At least I hadn't been kicked out…yet.

I rested my head in my arms and listened to the two talk about what had been going on in the past few hours.

"So who cut your hair again?" Eren asked. "It looks shorter than before."

Mikasa hummed. "Mina. She caught me trying to cut it myself and helped me out."

Eren huffed at this. "At least _someone_ around here cares about others. It feels like everyone's out for themselves here. Maybe they are."

"Most of the people you see lost something or another in the attack." I commented tiredly. "You can't fault them for being a bit angry and untrustworthy."

"It was the titans fault, not ours." Eren reasoned.

"I know that, don't think that I don't. But once you lose something… something you can't get back, it's hard to find a reason to trust anyone else. I'd think you knew that more than anyone, Eren."

He grumbled. "What happened to my mother had nothing to do with humanity and trusting the wrong people. It was the titans that took her, and I'll kill every last one of them to avenge her and everything else that was lost!"

"Revenge is a childish concept, Eren." I said solemnly. "You're not ten anymore."

"Don't you want to get back at those things for what they did to your brother!?"

I slammed my hand on the table, effectively silencing him and everyone else in the mess hall. It wasn't like me to act this way, but I hated it when Eren brought up Mello in front of me.

"What happened to my brother was an accident, not even caused by the titans. He gave his life for me and everyone else in my family, including you and Mikasa. He did it because there was no other way. There's no getting him back… and that's why people have trust issues. They can't trust that everyone will be there when they wake up next, and they can't trust that they won't get eaten by some monster from the outside. I hardly trust it myself, but I have to believe that things will get better. Mello always drilled that into my thoughts, so I have to believe it."

I stood up from my seat and walked away. "I'm no longer hungry."

I walked out into the pouring rain and headed for the barracks. I needed to be alone now and think about things.

Without Eren's influence.

* * *

 **(Eren P.O.V)**

Mikasa pushed a plate of food to me. "Go apologize."

"What? Why…?"

"His brother died one year ago today. Don't you remember? Yet you went ahead and disrespected him as well as hurt him over this memory. Mello's death affected him more than anyone, and he needs a friend more than he needs a soldier."

I blinked in pure shock. "You're kidding me… today? Geez, I barely even remembered! How could I be so stupid!?"

She pushed the plate of food to me once again. "He needs his friend. I know he won't talk to me so that leaves you. Go now and take some food. He doesn't eat that much as it is, we can't have him starving to death."

I said nothing more before taking the plate of food and hurrying out into the rain. I'd figured he'd gone to the barracks so I went there immediately, covering the food so it wouldn't get drenched.

Like I'd expected, I found Armin out of his uniform and curled up under his covers facing away from everyone.

I felt my heart break at this.

Since we slept next to each other in the bunks I caught him crying on more than one occasion. Even worse was that he hid it away from everyone as best as he could. Including me. It made me fear for his health when he got depressed like this and I tried to help him as best as I could. But god only knew I wasn't right for the job in this instance. It seemed like all I did was make matters worse for the both of us. Like today for example.

I set the food down in between us and climbed into my side of the bed.

"Armin?" I spoke, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Talk to me."

He was silent for what felt like forever before he finally said something through muttered tears.

"Do you miss her?"

"Hmm? Who do you mean?"

He rolled over slightly to look at me. "Your mother. Do you miss her?"

I swallowed back my own sorrow. "Every day. I only wish I knew where my father was so I could tell him what had happened."

I dug into my shirt and pulled out the key to the basement to look at it. "But… maybe he knows already."

The blonde sunk back into his sheets. "I don't blame Matt for anything that happened… but I just wish I'd been there to help. If I could have just caught him…"

"He still would have let go." I interjected. "To save you. It's how he was. Always looking out for those he loved most."

"I still feel like it's my fault." He whimpered. "Like I let him fall to his death."

I crawled in beside him to embrace him in a hug, shaking slightly from the sadness. "It isn't your fault. There wasn't anything you could have done. Not even Matt could do anything."

"But if I lost him then…"

"Stop it!" I demanded, hugging a bit tighter. "You won't lose anyone else, I swear it. Not me, not Mikasa, NO ONE! We'll always be here for you."

"Mihael promised the same… but he's gone."

"It's different with us." I promised him. "We won't abandon you like that. We'll be here for as long as you need us."

He sniffled slightly. "I can't believe that."

"You'll have to. Friends like us don't get taken away from each other. And I already made the promise to you that we'd find the sea and live there together. Just the two of us. I won't give up on that dream quite yet."

I heard him cough up a chuckle and it made me smile.

I took the food from between us and served it to him properly. "A gift from the mess hall, to replenish your strength… and to help me apologize for bringing all this up. I know how you must feel, and it was wrong of me to say something so over the line."

He hummed slightly before sitting up to eat.

I took notice of his frail form and tiny waist, wondering if he'd even eaten anything yesterday let alone today. He hadn't been taking very good care of himself lately and it worried me slightly. But other than those minor imperfections, I thought he looked absolutely stunning. I don't know how he did it in a place so void of cleanliness but he managed to always look like he was glowing. Maybe that was just natural of him, but I loved that aspect about him. I questioned every now and then whether I should tell him how much I treasured him like this, but I kept those opinions to myself for the moment.

I didn't need everyone harassing us for having those feelings… if Armin shared the same.

I'd tell him as some point, but for the moment I waited. I'd probably be waiting for another year or two, but when it all came around I'd make it a perfect moment for the both of us. I just needed a way to show him how much I truly cared for him.

But how?

Some of the other soldiers joined us in the barracks and I had to back away from Armin. I couldn't give them a reason to mock us. Especially now of all times.

The blonde finished up his food and hid the plate somewhere until morning. We couldn't have the guard finding it and thinking we stole food. It'd be returned to the mess hall in the morning but for now it had to stay out of sight.

The rest of the evening was spent in talk about tomorrow's new lesson on the gear we'd get to use. I'd heard it was a lengthy process, but how hard could it really be?

…right?


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N: Short chapter for plot sake... don't be mad.**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

"Need any help, Eren?" I asked, trying to hold back the giggles.

He tried to look up at me but it was a bit difficult to do while he was upside down. "Uh… no? Maybe. I guess."

I unhooked him from the lines and his bottom half landed on the ground with a thud. I honestly tried my hardest to keep the laughter down, but the scene was too priceless not to laugh at. It was a good thing it was only us at the moment since he'd done this same thing yesterday.

The only thing not funny about this was that if he didn't learn soon… then he would be kicked out.

Staying balanced with the gear, while not even moving, was a chore in itself. I'd been able to do it, but it looked like Eren was having a bit of difficulty. It didn't make any sense though why he was so clumsy in this one aspect. He was a good soldier in every other way, but this was his challenge? It amazed me to no end.

I sat down next to the brunette and sighed. "I'm sure you'll get it at some point, Eren. You just need some practice."

"All I've been doing is practicing!" He yelled into the dirt. "And it's only landed me a concussion and a bunch of laughs from the others!"

"Then we have to try a new tactic. There has to be a reason you aren't getting this."

"It's because he's imbalanced." Came a rather familiar voice.

We both looked up to find Light walking towards us with a grin on his face. He seemed mildly amused at Eren and his failures.

I stood up and greeted him with a salute. "Good to see you again, Light! It's been a while."

"Indeed." He agreed, saluting back. "I was called in to monitor your division. Looks like I'll be your captain from now on."

"What happened to our other captain?" Eren asked, getting up from the ground.

"Dealings beyond the wall. They're looking into a few things so we can take back wall Maria. It'll be a while before anything comes up though. I asked if it'd be alright if I helped to train you all in his place and they agreed." He then looked at the harness Eren was wearing and chuckled. "I take it the cadets are learning how to use the gear now? It's a lengthy process to learn, I'll admit, but I've never seen a soldier upside down on them before."

"Commander Shadis gave us a test yesterday with our gear, but everyone aside Eren got the hang of it. He's allowing Eren to try again tomorrow… but things aren't going too well." I explained. "But… what was that you said about being balanced?"

Yagami hummed before looking into my eye. "It's difficult to explain, but think of it as that your mind is unfocussed. I saw Mikasa yesterday and was incredibly amazed with her abilities, and Armin you didn't do too bad yourself. And it's because you both focussed on something to keep your balance at bay. But Eren, you were doing something completely different. Your body wanted to stay afloat but your mind didn't register this. A balanced mind can lead to a balanced body."

He turned off towards the barracks and waved a hand to us as he left. "It's nearly dark now boys, so I have to be at the mess hall. Try not to overwork yourself, Yeager. Be one with the gear!"

I heard the brunette growl at the man. "I'm officially angry now."

I rolled my eyes. "You're always angry. Now come on! Let's get you back up there!"

"But how do I stay focussed? The moment I'm in the air I get so excited and I think I've done it, then I realize there's so many others watching, and then CRASH! Right into the dirt!"

I clipped him into the lines once more then stood in front of him. "Then… just focus on me. The moment you're up there just think about me being the only one in front of you, and you should be alright."

I watched him blink at my request before clearing his throat and looking off to the ground. "I… guess I could do that."

I nodded before grabbing the crank. "You ready?"

He nodded slightly and I went ahead with hoisting him up.

Slowly the lines lifted him, and without any issues for once, and before long he was airborne. Perfectly still and able to hold himself in place.

I got excited about this and I could see him smile at the accomplishment, but he suddenly swung forward and I dove in to catch him before he could hit his head again. Unfortunately, this meant his head hit mine and we both ended up getting hurt, but not as badly as it would have been had I not been there.

I suddenly looked into his green eyes and I froze. Something about those eyes had matured in the past few years, and it made me shiver slightly. Maybe because I wasn't used to seeing Eren in this sort of light – as an adult – or maybe I just genuinely didn't notice his eyes too often. What struck me as more surprising though, was that Eren wasn't looking away from my own eyes. It almost made me blush.

I cleared my throat and backed away, letting the brunette fall to the ground but without him getting hurt.

"Try again?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah… I guess. But after we get something to eat."

I nodded back and took the crank once more to lower him to the ground. The whole time feeling my chest hurt in a way I was not expecting it to.

When the morning came that Eren would take the test again, he looked to me for guidance and I gave him all the encouragement that I could. And, for even a few seconds, Eren managed to stay in place in the harness, and it made a lot of people cheer for him…

…until he fell back to the ground.

But instead of being kicked to the curb, Commander Shadis made him switch belts with another soldier and retry. And, like watching a miracle, Eren stayed afloat with no problem at all. This greatly impressed everyone since he'd had a broken belt the entire time, and still he'd managed to stay aloft for a short period of time.

I overheard the commander huff impressively and say something about Grisha's son finally becoming a soldier.

When I told Eren about what I'd heard that night, he was more than proud of himself.

Now the real training could begin.


	14. Chapter 14

_**A/N: Okay, from here on out the canon part of SNK is going to be a bit jagged. Why? Because my brain can only process so much information, an I barely remembered what I even wrote in the first chapter let alone where and what SNK started with. So don't be mad if I frget a few things, or if I change up the canon a bit.**_

 _ **Let's face it, this isn't even that great of a story anyway. :P**_

 _ **But I H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

I hadn't graduated at the top of the class, or even in the top ten, but I made it to the end. And in that end I'd liked to have thought that I became a real soldier like my father. But I honestly couldn't say for sure that that's what I was.

When the last day of our training had come, when we were allowed to roam free once more, I headed back to where my parents were staying and taking care of my sisters. Eren and Mikasa joined me since they were the ones to take them in when we lost everything in the attack. It amazed me that the two of them joined the survey corps along with me when they could have gone into the inner most wall and be protected and live life as a king in respect. But with no garrison anymore, and the survey corps needing more people now, they joined up with those who were needed most. Eren even made a big speech about how humanity needed more soldiers and how he was determined to fight for the better cause. This ended in more than enough people being proud to be part of the corps, and for others to join in along with us.

Of of the only ones not to join us was Jean, and only because he'd had plans in the beginning to become part of the military police and be more protected than anyone else. I can't say I blamed him for wanting something like that, but he didn't have to be arrogant about it.

We strode down the streets in our uniforms and gear, getting looks from the younger generation and the elder. Some were in awe while others were in anger. After the epic failure of the garrison keeping us safe, I couldn't imagine the pain most people were feeling. But it wasn't exactly our fault to begin with. We were just part of the statistic.

I suppose Eren noticed my quiet behaviour – quieter than beforehand – and put a hand on my shoulder.

"What's going on, Armin? You seem… off."

I shrugged. "I guess… nothing. We did what we set out to do and became soldiers, right? I guess I just imagined me being thrown away and forgotten. They don't exactly need me…"

"The corps need everyone willing to steak their lives for humanity." Mikasa said bluntly. "Don't doubt yourself so heavily. The strongest soldier isn't always the most muscular or the best trained. We're all equal in death, as it were."

I suppose she was right. But still, my head whirled with the thoughts of why I'd joined up in the first place. I knew it was because I'd wanted to help, but there had to be more meaning to it than that. Eren joined up because he wanted vengeance, and Mikasa did it to protect us. Why did I join though? Because I wanted to help? What help could I offer? Maybe it was because of Mihael. But he'd been gone for so long now, and yet I still believed I'd wake up and find him across the room looking into pages upon pages of his story. Or when I almost fell asleep and could swear he was reading to himself or to me. It was like he'd never died… like he was still there, still waiting for me to notice him.

Why couldn't I let it go?

We got to the once broken old home and we knocked on the door. I almost revelled in what my mother did to this place in the five years we'd been away. Like the roof had never been broken and caved in, and the door didn't swing on the hinge. The woman could make dirt into gold if you gave her enough time. And I somewhat marvelled her for this.

The door swung open and my father greeted us with a giant smile.

"My boy! LOOK AT YOU!" He greeted happily, picking me up into a hug with his only arm. "YOU'RE FINALLY A SOLDIER! How does it feel!?"

I coughed slightly. "Like my lungs are being crushed?"

He finally let me down and backed up a bit. "Ah, so sorry there, boy! Just excited to see you so grown up! I know you're mother's ben waiting for the day you would return."

I looked up at the man excitedly. "How is she, by the way? Last letter you sent you said she'd gotten sick."

"Bah, that woman will never fall to an illness. She knows too many remedies that could essentially make her immortal. Now come in! We just finished making dinner!"

The three of us gladly entered the home and followed my father to the dining room. From there we were greeted by everyone we'd left behind.

Including Matt.

Matt, though he'd had years to overcome everything, still said nothing in front of everyone. He was silent as a mouse, and twice as shy. I think he still believed that we blamed him for everything despite us taking him in when he was too broken to do anything else. How could we blame him? The man had been forthright with us since meeting the family. We believed him when he said he'd tried and we couldn't fault him for something that wasn't his choice. Mello stated on many occasions that he'd give his life for us.

And so he did.

As we sat at the table the red haired man served us the food he'd made and immediately Eren dug in. It wasn't much, but it was better than the gruel at the mess hall. And Matt proved to be a pretty good cook it would seem.

My eyes fixated on the man's hair and a shiver went down my spine.

His hair had forever been dyed red due to the blood of titans he'd been drenched in. Everyone was amazed to see such a transformation in this feature, and no one could replicate it. But there had to be more here than they were looking at. I'd seen fear and sadness change a person's features, it was almost daily while we were training. I'd seen blonde hair turn whiter, and skin turn paler. If Matt had been broken by watching Mihael give his life for him, then maybe his ruddy red hair had just turned a shade lighter due to anger and sadness.

It was just a theory though.

Once we were finished eating and things settled down more, the questions soon began.

"So how was the life of a cadet?" My father spoke.

Both Eren and I shrugged where Mikasa sat still, focussing in on something in the table. I suppose she had nothing to say about the matter.

Eren then answered with, "Harder than we imagined it'd be. Especially the three dimensional maneuvering gear. I… didn't exactly get it on my first try."

"Or second and third." I muttered, bringing my glass of water to my mouth and looking away.

"Regardless," Eren raised his voice slightly, "the commander gave me a retest and I passed. Apparently my belt was just faulty."

My father chuckled. "Don't be too hard on yourself, boy. When I was a cadet I fell flat on my face before finally getting the balance to stay upright. Even after that though, while on a hunting mission, I slammed into a tree and made my entire group laugh themselves silly! I don't think I'd ever been more embarrassed than at that point in time right there."

I smiled a bit at the story. My father, the man known to never fail a mission, was a big flop in the cadets! What Mello would have killed to hear this so he could have held it against him.

Maybe that's why he never spoke about it.

The man giggled. "The report I got from my commanding officer was 'unfit, and unqualified for even the garrison to take in!' I had to step it up a notch if I wanted to prove him wrong. Sadly, I didn't start proving him anything until my last year with him, when I met your mother."

I perked up at this. "Mother? She was in the cadets?"

"Nope, she was the commanding officer for another trainee group. She had a famed reputation for never allowing anyone into her heart. I must have been quite the catch." He said proudly.

My mother sighed. "If you're going to talk about this, at least tell them the truth. I found you practicing with the gear and pitied you for continuously falling on your overgrown head. So I trained you to be a better soldier."

"And then…?" He led on, smiling innocently at her.

Her eyes merely rolled. "Then we began something… and soon we were co-captains of a squad together. Once I became pregnant, however, I had to head into early retirement. Lord knows I wasn't leaving my child to be taught by you, dad."

"I woulda made him strong!" My grandfather replied loudly.

Again she rolled her eyes. "Once I had Mihael I became a mother first and a warrior second. Up until you came home with those blades of yours and he wanted to become a soldier himself!"

I looked up from the table in surprise. "Mello wanted to be a soldier?!"

"The boy had been hell-bent on it!" My father replied. "Even waved some sticks around and jumped off of roofs screaming battle cries. He was determined to become my successor in a line of greatness, and I always promised to train him myself when I went into retirement. But… things took a turn for the worse. You were much too young to have remembered a time when I wasn't with only one arm, but Mihael remembered. And it damn near killed him after seeing me in those bandages. He tried to look strong, and I couldn't fault him for it, but he just couldn't hide the pain in his eyes. Soon after he became the sole provider and protector of this family. It took away his childhood, his hopes and dreams, and his whole spirit just died away over time."

He then looked up towards Matt and grinned. "When you entered our lives… it was like I was seeing that same child I'd missed so much… and managed to destroy. He was happy. It was the only thing I ever wanted for him. Even if it wasn't that long… it was a god sent that you came to him when he needed someone most."

I saw Matt wipe a tear from his eye before forcing out a smile. Still no words to be said.

I looked down at the table once more. Matt really did love him more than anything. And I'm too sure Mello felt the same.

I stood up from my seat. "It's getting late for us. We should head back to camp…"

"Nonsense." My father spoke up, standing along with me. "I'll escort you all back tomorrow morning, but for now you should sleep in real beds before going off tomorrow to wherever they send you. I need to speak with the commander about something anyhow."

I nodded at this before excusing myself to another room to take off the gear. It was a lot heavier than what was expected, and I really couldn't sleep with it on – not that I always chose to.

When our gear was off, and both Eren and Mikasa excused themselves to other rooms to change, my father met up with me in the den.

"So what's on your mind, son?" He asked as he sat beside me.

I blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Don't try to dodge the question. I know my children well enough that I can see when they're troubled. So what's going on? Talk to me."

I looked away from him before sluggishly letting my lean forward and my hair hide my face. "I'm just wondering… what am I doing all this for? I mean, I want to help for the greater of humanity, of course! But… I feel like that's only a small portion of how I'm really feeling about all this. Maybe I just want to feel useful. Maybe I'm doing it for Mihael. Or maybe I just want to prove to people that I'm your son. That I'm worth something more than that. I honestly don't know."

The man sighed heavily before leaning back on the couch. "It's difficult to come to terms with, isn't it? The reason you're fighting. Some do it for glory, others for fame. I entered into cadets to prove I wasn't just some poor little orphan with no parents or reason to his name. But it didn't make me happy. It didn't help me fight or prove anything."

"So then… why did you stay?" I asked quietly, looking up at him.

He scratched his now fully grown beard and chuckled. "Because my reason for fighting changed. My whole reason to fight anymore was for my family. For my sons and my wife. So I could keep them safe."

He put a hand on my back. "You'll find your reason. Don't worry about it. It may not even be around for the moment, but it will surface. Everyone has a reason to keep fighting."

I decided to be brave and ask something a bit more personal.

"So then… why did Mihael not fight? Did he not have a reason?"

My inquisitive mind was going to get me killed one day, I just knew it. But thankfully, my father took no offence to this question.

He just grinned and replied with, "He did fight, my boy. Not all fighting looks the same though. It took a lot of strength and love for him to give his life so that we could live on. So that we could see another day. He had a reason to fight, but he'd just reached the end of his fighting days."

I looked away from him again and swallowed back the tears. "I see."

He patted my back encouragingly. "Stop thinking about it, Armin. There's nothing more to the story. Just keep moving forward, but don't forget what he meant to you."

"It's not even that." I explained, standing up from my seat. "It's like he never died to me! Like every time I wake up I'll see him there, or listen to his mumblings about his story. And at night it's like I can still hear his breathing across the way. I know he's gone, and I know there's no getting him back, but still I keep thinking he'll reappear and…"

My father immediately got up and brought me into a hug. Something about this hug made me cry though. Like he was trying help me see that I wasn't alone.

Maybe I wasn't.

He took a shallow breath. "You two had a close bond to each other. So close it hasn't left your memories. You may never forget them, and that's not a bad thing. But stop looking at them negatively and start thinking about them as warm and positive. He's gone… but your memories are still fresh. It's a blessing if anything."

I sniffled slightly before digging my face into my father's chest to cry. "It's not fair!"

The man hugged tighter. "I know, son. I know."

For fifteen straight minutes I stood crying into the man's chest, wondering why he even put up with it. After this I just trudged to my room and tried to forget the whole thing. It just wasn't worth it anymore. I didn't even know why I still held onto this guilt and sadness.

Just as I flopped into my bed, Eren entered the room to occupy the floor. My mother had given him the thickest blanket she could, and a spare pillow she'd made a while back.

"Mikasa will be sleeping on the floor in your sisters' room." He explained. "I was offered the den, but I thought you'd might like some company."

I grinned slightly and moved over on the bed. "You could sleep here if you wanted. There's enough room for two."

I watched his eyes widen slightly before he turned his head to hide the blushing. "Are you… sure?"

I moved over a bit more and flopped back down on the pillow. "It's fine by me."

The brunette grinned slightly before crawling in beside me with his own blanket. I could tell by the look on his face he was happy to be sleeping in a bed once again instead of a cot. I couldn't blame him. It was nice having some comfort for once.

The brunette looked right into my eyes. "Like sleeping on a cloud."

"Well… better than a board, definitely." I agreed.

He chuckled at this, rolling over to face me. "Remember when we were kids and we'd have sleepovers?"

"And how we had to share a bed because Mello wouldn't give up his own?" I added.

"Like sleeping beside me was so terrible!" He replied sarcastically.

I scoffed. "Your snoring kept me awake all night!"

He blinked. "It's doesn't anymore though."

"Because I squeeze your nose to stop you." I admitted, squeezing his nose now to make a point.

He jerked away. "Oh, like your hair never made it difficult for _me_ to fall asleep!"

"What do you have against my hair!?" I asked, only half serious.

"Other than it hitting me in the face when you rolled over to another side…" he paused, getting quieter now. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

I grinned at that, pulling up the covers to hide the blush. It wasn't normal for Eren to send compliments my way, but when we were alone he was completely different. No one was there to judge him for speaking to me this way, and no one could mock him for sounding corny.

Yes, I had slight feelings for him. And I had the strangest feeling that he felt the same for me. I guess we just didn't know how to express it.

Or maybe I was just wishfully thinking again. Maybe Eren didn't like me at all.

He relaxed into the pillow and grinned at me. "Tomorrow we become soldiers."

I hummed at this before rolling over. "See you then."

And I drifted off to sleep. When I woke up the next morning I found Eren's arm wrapped around my waist but said nothing. I didn't want to startle him and make him jump away. Besides… I liked the closeness.

 _'Today, we become soldiers.'_ I thought to myself. _'But why isn't that enough for me?'_


	15. Chapter 15

_**A/N: Another short chapter because I like teasing you guys. :D**_

 _ **Once again, I'm sorry for any inconsistencies, but I remind you that this isn't the best fic to date so... yeah. Just some changes here and there. I mean let's face it. This anime/manga has as 'bout as many twists and turns as Dragon Ball Z. There are bound to be a few f-ups from me. Again I apologize for that but... blah, now I'm rambling.**_

 _ **But I H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Eren P.O.V)**

"I swear it's what I heard! I'm not lying!"

"You're so full of it, Connie!"

"It's the truth, Thomas!"

The moment we'd arrived on top of wall Rose that morning I just knew this day was going to be eventful.

"Okay, what's going on?" I asked, folding my arms. "This sounds interesting if you two are fighting over it."

Once I made myself known Connie immediately began his story.

"I heard from some of the commanding officers that they found a human settlement right outside the wall! And the scary part, it was littered with traps on every angle! I even heard someone lost their leg while trying to get past them!"

I blinked in surprise at this. "You can't be serious. Nobody can live outside the walls. It's near impossible."

"That's what _I_ told him." Annie spoke up.

Armin hummed at this. "But… what if they found a place the titans can't get to?"

"It's not possible, Armin." I disagreed. "Titans are ruthless, and they have more animal instincts and senses than humans. They need to eat, and they can smell a human through a wall. It's just too impossible for humans to live outside the walls."

"See, Connie! I told you." Thomas waved off.

The man through up his arms in defeat. "I'm just telling you what I heard and what they suspect. Besides, I know there's people outside the walls! And I know they've been watching us!"

We all groaned and rolled our eyes at him. Yet again we would hear his conspiracy over people living just outside our reach.

Oh joy.

"Look, all I'm saying is, that I've seen people jump our walls to get inside. And low and behold, not a day after I saw them, supplies started going missing!"

"Hey guys!" We suddenly heard a female voice – Sasha – call. "Guess what I managed to snag!"

Before we could guess, she opened her jacket to reveal a spit of meat sitting there gloriously.

Some of us looked right at Connie who immediately shrunk into his jacket. This, more than anything, explained the shortage of food going on.

But this act of thievery didn't exactly go well with some of the other soldiers.

"Sasha!" Mina exclaimed. "You know there's a meat shortage! Why would you just take that?!"

"For our victory over the titans!" She proclaimed before starting to drool slightly.

I heard Annie groan slightly before going back to her work on the canon. Despite her attitude, however, I could safely say she was a bit amused by everything that was going on.

Just as our patrol started, I heard a huff from behind me and noticed Hoover, out of breath and hunched over, had finally joined us. The only thing that didn't make sense was the absence of his partner, Reiner Braun.

Upon asking him he said that both he and Reiner were running late and that he'd told us that he'd catch up as soon as he could.

With that excuse, we turned the other way and continued on with the day.

It would be a while before we got any real jobs other than being out front and ready for battle, but it'd be worth the wait. Especially if I could knock some heads off a few titans.

I looked over to Armin and Mikasa and noticed the blonde had a troubled look on his face. He'd been that way for a while now and I couldn't exactly grasp the reason why. I wondered briefly if it had anything to do with my forwardness as of late, but I quickly realized that there had to have been more to it than that. Armin was always overthinking things and never took a day off to just let his mind wander off. The only times he'd ever done that were when he was reading his book about what was beyond the wall, or when he was alone. Nowadays, however, he just fell silent most of the time. I'd like to have thought it was hormones or something, but that couldn't be it.

No, there was something deeper going on in his mind.

But what?

I felt someone nudge me and looked over to see Connie smiling deviously. "So you and Armin?"

I merely blinked at his saying that. "E-excuse me?"

"Oh come on! We all see it! You're about as bad as Franz and Hannah."

I heard Annie, shockingly, chuckle at this. "No one is as bad as them. They deny ever starting something up, whereas you two aren't denying, nor implying, anything. It's almost cute."

"You never find anything cute, Annie." I heard Thomas reply before turning to me. "But she is right about you neither confirming nor denying anything."

"I'm denying it right now." I lied. "And even if there was anything I'd thank you to keep your voices down."

I heard Krista giggle at this. "You guys would be cute together!"

"Like a pig and a slightly fatter pig." Annie commented.

I glanced over to her. "Past relationships?"

Her death glare sent me back into place and I didn't dare to look back.

Connie, as small as he was, put a hand on my shoulder. "Eren, we aren't stupid. The way you talk to him, and the way you treat him…"

"He's my friend." I interrupted. "Nothing more."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that." Thomas commented before pulling Connie away.

"I will." I retorted, suddenly noticing something was off. "Hey, where did Bertolt go?"

The rest of the team looked around as well and couldn't find any trace of him. It was like he'd just… disappeared.

"Maybe he went for a piss." Annie reasoned. "Better not take long."

"Maybe." I mumbled. "But still, he should have…"

A giant crash of lightning nearly deafened us all and more and a few people fell to the ground from the shaking that happened afterward. I managed to stay up, but I dearly wish I'd hadn't.

A sudden, giant red head came into full view and looked me square in the face. The same face I'd seen just five or sum years prior. The face that destroyed our peace.

The face of the colossal titan.

A plume of steam pushed us off the wall but thanks to our gear we all managed to catch ourselves. I looked over and counted heads, finding all of us had made it.

But now it was time for action.

"COME ON!" I screamed to them, enabling my gear to thrust me forward. "We can't let him get away! We can't let him win! For wall Maria! For Shiganshina! For Trost! AND FOR HUMANITY!"

I lunged forward at the beast and ran up it's arms as it destroyed the canons. I ran up and over every muscle and tendon until I reached the nap of the neck. The titans weak point! This would be my moment of triumph!

For humanity! For my parents! For everyone that was lost in the fall of wall Maria!

I would end this!


	16. Chapter 16

_**A/N: Short and sucky chapter, but I'm a bit hazy on details from both the anime and the manga. :S**_

 _ **Next one will be much better I promise you!**_

 _ **But I H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

Why had he done it? Why had he given his life for mine? He couldn't have just let it eat me and gone on with his life. Now he was gone…

…gone.

That thought struck me harder than any blow I'd taken in this battle. The fact that I'd lost one of my best friends in my life shocked me to no end. It'd taken Mikasa by surprise when I told her about this, but she hadn't reacted the way I did. She hadn't contemplated… suicide, like I had. She'd stopped me of course but I still felt my heart shatter thinking about what had happened. How could Eren let his life end for me like that? What purpose did I even have?

I waited on top of the roof for Mikasa's return. She'd used too much of her air supply while we were running low and fell to the ground. I tried going after her but someone had pulled me away at the last second. They'd said something about focussing on the mission at hand and that was to get our air supply back up.

It was useless though… we were falling apart one by one. People were dying and screams could be heard everywhere. I'd hate to think my own family was among them, but I was too sure Mikasa had gotten everyone through like she promised she had. I wanted to believe her, but my hope was falling and I just couldn't handle the pressure like I thought I could.

If I made it out of here with no one… then I was going down along with them.

No matter what Mikasa said.

"Okay," Connie said nervously, "w-we got seven five metre titans down in the refill room. We could go all in and take them out!"

"That would cost everyone their lives." Annie said plainly. "Look, the most we can do is… sit here and wait."

"She's right." Jean said solemnly. The titans have won this one. Let's just give up."

"We can't!" Krista exclaimed. "The titans already got wall Maria, we can't let them have Rose as well!"

"Well what DO we do then!?" The man yelled back. "There's no hope for us here! We're a sitting buffet for those monsters, so we might as well…"

"Get air and get back across the wall." Came Mikasa's stern voice.

I looked to see the dark haired woman herself standing at the far end of the rooftop. She seemed shaken, but still stood tall. She'd definitely seen something.

She pointed of into the distance. "Look over there. Do you see that titan?"

We looked to find a deviant looking titan off in the distance hitting away at the other titans. But… why? Titans didn't fight with each other like this, it just wasn't natural. They just… ate. The other titans had responded with biting and chewing I could see, but even that didn't make sense. Titans couldn't eat each other… could they? All I'd ever learned was that they desired human flesh and that's why the walls were built. But this was new.

"This one has bought us some time." Mikasa continued. "So I suggest we make a plan."

With that settled among us, we entered into the building to make out a plan for the five metre titans in the basement. Hopefully this deviant titan had given us more than ample time to create and go forward with a plan. And especially enough time to refuel and get on the road.

When we got inside, more than a few people came up with ideas for how to get the titans out of our way. Plans from plain killing them, to luring them out. But no matter how they put it, they just weren't good enough plans to be successful. But maybe…

"Armin," Mikasa spoke up to me, "do you have a plan?"

"Uh… I…" I couldn't help the fear course through me. I honestly didn't know if it would work.

Jean patted me on the back. "Let's hear it. We need any ideas at the moment if we're going to get back out of here."

I took a breath and explained my plan fully to them…

…and it ended up being the winner.

Jean and Marco brought in the rifles from stock and gave them to each member who would be on my part of the plan. The more skilled of the bunch, Mikasa and six others, would hide among the rafters for their chance to go for the kill. Our job was merely to distract them, and that's why the guns were needed.

We were lowered down into the darkened room where the air-tanks were and we were noticed immediately by the five metres. We lured them in to the right positions, and before they even had a chance to touch us…

Off went the rifles, straight into their eyes, blinding them for the split second it would take for the seven assassins to go in for their kill. Once they were dispatched properly, this battle was deemed ours!

Our reward? A supply of air to get us over wall Sina.

But there was one thing on everyone's mind the moment we'd left the building…

…the rogue titan.

It was still there… still fighting and roaring horribly. It sounded as if it were in pain. But t still kept fighting as if it's life depended on the sole act of it. There was something absolutely wrong with how this one acted among others.

Krista whimpered slightly. "Maybe we should help him."

"Are you crazy?!" Connie replied. "It's a titan!"

"A titan fighting for humanity." Mikasa replied bluntly, drawing her blades. "You all go back, I'll…"

The titan bellowed a death cry and soon ran after another titan, effectively killing it with it's bare hands. It went on to kill the others in a rush of bloodlust, scaring off the other soldiers and leaving Mikasa and I behind, and before either of us could blink… all went silent. Only the breathing of the rogue titan could be heard. We'd all feared about what it's do next until…

The ground rumbled as he fell to his knees. Then once more as it keeled over. Then the breathing stopped all together…

…and an odd… squishing sound made it to our ears. It was like listening to someone squeeze mud in their hands. Slimy, unrefined, grotesque.

I noticed the neck moving on the titan and pointed it out to Mikasa. Before we could even question what was going on…

The neck burst open in a pit of steam and a smaller, frailer form popped out from inside. This form had soft brown hair and an appeased face. As if he were sleeping under the trees from back home.

"Eren?" I whispered.

His body flopped over and both Mikasa and I ran to gather him up. Once we confirmed that he was breathing and very much alive, with – surprisingly – all four limbs, Mikasa helped me carry him to the escape gates.

Had we known what we were going to face when we got there… we wouldn't have brought him in through the gates at all.

Turns out, we weren't the only one to witness Eren's emergence from the titan body.

…god help us…


	17. Chapter 17

_**A/N: Gonna take a few days off. My shoulder has been killing me since my accident and I need to rest it.**_

 _ **I'm dumb for not doing that sooner, I know, but I get bored when I have to rest for so long. :/**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Eren P.O.V)**

 _'Kill them… I'll kill them all… I'll kill every last one of 'em.'_

I smiled at my thoughts, revelling in them. Longing to destroy every titan there was.

…I _will_ destroy them…

…

…all of them.

I felt someone holding my hand. Their skin was soft and warm. It made me think of a time when we didn't have to worry about titans. When it was just lounging around under a tree and dreaming about a world outside the walls. When it was just me and Armin, and I could dream alongside him without a care in the world.

My mind slowly cleared and I suddenly saw the object of my thoughts. Armin had been the one holding my hand.

I grinned at him. "Hey… where are we?"

He sighed in what seemed like relief. "You're okay… you're okay…"

"Of course I am. What do you mean by…?"

"GIVE UP THAT TRAITOR RIGHT NOW!" Demanded a voice.

I jolted at the yell and looked around to see what looked like a hundred other soldiers surrounding and cornering us against the wall. All of them armed, and all of them ready to shoot.

Mikasa stood not two feet away guarding us from everyone, blades drawn and ready for action.

What had happened?

When we didn't reply, the voice spoke again.

"THAT MONSTER IS A TITAN! HE HAS TO BE SLAIN!"

I looked to where the voice was coming from and saw it was Kitts Woerman that was demanding this from us. But I didn't understand. A titan? Me? How… I mean, it just didn't make sense! I wasn't… I couldn't have been…

"Eren," Armin caught my attention, "please tell me you remember _something_ from the battle!"

I blinked. "Y…yes. But, only about the colossal titan and… and…anger. I was angry, and hurt…swimming in blood…"

"EXPLAIN YOURSELF, YAEGER!" Kitts demanded, trembling slightly. "OR WE SHOOT!"

I felt my head start to hurt and my eyes shifting. "I…I don't remember… I don't know what's going on!"

"TELL US THE TRUTH!" He demanded louder.

My heart stopped slightly, and a memory came to mind. I'd just saved Armin from the bearded titan, and I'd felt angrier than ever before. My mind went blank and then…

…then I was fighting.

"TAKE AIM!" Came the command.

Armin left my side to join Mikasa. "Please, don't shoot! GIVE HIM SOME TIME!"

I'd…I'd became… something…

"FIRE!"

I jumped up immediately and ran to protect the two, getting in front of them and biting at my thumb. When the blood poured out, a wash of steam rolled over us and a barrier of bone guarded us from the bullets. All that from just biting my thumb? And there was no thinking about it either. I'd done it out of pure adrenaline and reflex. Like I'd been taught to do so since birth.

What was going on here?

I explained it to Armin and Mikasa… how I didn't know what had come over me. Just that it was instinctual.

"This smoke should buy us some time… but now what?" Armin asked. "We can't sneak you out, they'll find us. And fighting our way through isn't exactly an answer."

"Then we talk our way through." I explained, putting a hand on his shoulder. "If they don't listen… then I'll just have to go titan and get you two out of here."

"Eren, they're scared." The blonde explained. "They won't listen to reason because of it. We need to get out of here."

"And we will." I promised him. "I trust you."

"What!? M-me?! Have you lost it!? I can't do anything to help! I'm just… I can't. I'm not…"

"You can, Armin." Mikasa backed me up. "They'll listen to you and what you have to say. You're smarter than them, and we know you can come up with something to end this. Just do what you know is right."

"We believe in you." I reassured him. "And I promise to have your back the entire time. You aren't alone."

"But why me? Why would they listen to me!?" He demanded.

I gripped his shoulder tighter. "Because you're smarter than them. You're quick to think rationally and you're brains are worth a thousand soldiers. It was always you looking out for us in the smallest ways that made the biggest impact. You always knew how to avoid the extremists when need be it, and you stood by us in the worst of times. You're a loyal soldier… and a worthy friend."

"And don't forget about what you did for the grounded soldiers in need of air tanks." Mikasa reminded him. "Eren is more than right when he says your brains are worth more than a thousand soldiers. A thousand useless and brainless soldiers would have gotten killed in that situation, but it only took you to save their lives. And I know you can get us out of this mess the same way you got us out of the last one. And we will have your back."

"All the same though," I spoke up, "if you feel you really can't do this… then we'll fight our way out. If I can truly become a titan… then I'll be the one from their worst nightmares."

The blonde was silent for the longest moment before slowly standing up and clenching his hands into fists. Something about this Armin was new from the one I'd grown up with. This one had more confidence in himself…

…as he should have.

The blonde took a breath before turning away and marching out from beyond the smoke, discarding his gear on the way there.

"Good luck," I whispered to him, hoping it passed on.

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

I could do this… I had to…

…for Eren.

I walked out into the clearer air with my hands up. "Don't shoot. I mean no harm."

"You finally showed your true colors, monster! I'll signal! I'll signal the cannon!" Kitts screamed, his voice failing in bravado now.

"He isn't the enemy of mankind! We're willing to share all the intelligence we've gathered!" I promised him.

"Begging for your lives is useless now!" He screamed back. "He revealed his true form right in front of us! There's nothing left to say! If you say he's not an enemy, prove it! If you can't do that, I will eliminate the threat!"

"There's no need for further proof!"

Then it hit me. It _was_ unnecessary.

My voice rose an octave now. "The issue isn't how _we_ see him!"

"What!?" He demanded

"You said everybody saw him! Then they must've seen him fighting the Titans too! And they must've seen all the Titans ganging up against him! The titans see him as prey, just like the rest of mankind! Nothing you say can change that fact!"

A murmur broke out among the other soldiers and my heart began to gain confidence.

But then… things took a downfall.

Kitts became frantic now. "Prepare to attack! Don't fall for this clever trap! Their actions have always been beyond our comprehension! If they can transform into humans and speak our language, that's just another way for them to fool us! We can't let them do as they please!"

It was no good. He was too scared to think rationally

I looked back at Eren and Mikasa in defeat…

…but I merely froze.

Eren and Mikasa… my closest friends since childhood… they were counting on me. They believed in me.

…and I just couldn't give up without a real fight.

I turned back to the crowd and struck my fist over my heart, and stood in the best salute I could possibly muster.

"As a soldier, I swore to devote my heart to the resurrection of mankind! There is no greater glory than dying for that belief! If we added his Titan power to the might of our armies, it might even be possible to recapture the town! For the glory of the human race, I beg you! In my final moments before I die, permit me to explain his strategic importance!"

Silence filled the air as we all waited for Kitts' order.

…and… without even the slightest hesitation…

His hand rose for the signal and my heart dropped from my chest to the ground.

 _'I'm sorry, guys.'_

I squeezed my eyes shut and waited for the cannons to fire…

…

…

…but nothing happened.

I opened an eye to see what was going on…

…

…and it was like god himself sent us help.

Matt stood there, blade to Kitts' throat, and stared him down angrily. His eyes blistering in the heat of his anger and malice. Beside him stood my father and Commander Dot Pixis. I'd met him once before thanks to my father and I knew he'd be able to help us, but something told me that it was Matt who had truly saved the day at the moment.

The red head leaned in towards Kitts' face. "Lower that hand, or lose it. Make your choice."

His voice was low and raspy, but I almost cried at the sound of it. It's been too long since I'd heard it last.

Kitts lowered his arm and faced the Commander. "I had this under control…"

"Evidently not." The elder man interrupted. "Can't you see what you were about to do? Shooting down innocents, and after one of the most perfect salutes seen in this army of ours! Not to mention almost shooting down Arlert's remaining son. Shame on you, Captain."

The man hung his head in shame as I dropped to my knees weakly. This whole ordeal had left me drained.

Matt ran to my side and examined me. "Are you okay? Anything hurt?"

I shook my head before crawling into a hug with him. "I'm so glad to hear you speak!"

He chuckled weakly. "Some things you shouldn't keep silent about. The moment I heard about you and the others being detained I had to do something. I got your father to step in and get Pixis out and in time to save you. I don't know what this business of titan powers is… but I doubt it's as bad as Kitts made it sound. So I'll fight alongside you for this… just so long as you promise me one thing."

"Anything." I replied.

He broke the hug and looked me square in the eye. "Don't you EVER scare me like that again."

I smiled happily before hugging him again. "I promise!"

He patted me on the back before standing up, looking towards the two gentlemen that had practically saved our lives. "Commander, what do you say to Arlert's request upon the usage of titan powers?"

"Well, boy…" he said with a grin, "what do _you_ think?"

He looked about all the soldiers and stood a bit taller.

"We have lost two walls to those cretins now!" His voice boomed through the courtyard. "And now only one wall remains. I believe we fight to regain something for humanity for once! I believe we take a stand and take back what was wrongfully taken from us! And I believe we can only do this by taking whatever measures prove needed! If this titan power is of any use to us, if it can help us reclaim what was lost in the last battles, and if it can win on for humanity, THEN I'M ALL FOR IT!"

He turned to all the soldiers before him. "Brothers and sisters! Fight now for what we've lost! For _who_ we lost! Don't let this become a memory! Don't let your loved ones, neighbors, and dearly treasured die without a cause! Don't allow them to be forgotten! WE ARE HERE FOR HUMANITY! WE ARE HERE FOR THOSE WE'VE LOST IN THE PAST! WE CAN'T BE SILENT ANYMORE!"

He raised his blade to the sky. "FOR HUMANITY!"

The soldiers cheered and raised their own blades in salute and I watched as Pixis nodded in agreement.

"Couldn't have said it better myself… Commander."

I looked up at the man. "Commander?"

He looked down at me with a grin. "Looks like you and I will be working together on a plan for humanity. I hope you're up for a challenge."

I chuckled before standing up. "They're only fun when they _are_ a challenge."

I felt Eren hug me from behind as Mikasa patted me on the back.

"Best salute I've ever seen." Mikasa complimented. "Better than Eren's, even."

Eren just kept hugging me. "I knew you could do it! I had no doubts!"

I suddenly saw a figure walk over to me and l looked over to see it was my mother. I'd been relieved to see her alive…

…until…

I opened my arms to hug her, but she slapped me across the face instead.

Honestly, I'd never seen my mother this violent.

She pointer her finger at my face. "Don't EVER scare me like that again!" She demanded, her cracking voice failing to make her look menacing.

A tear fell from her eyes and she finally hugged me. "The boys in this family are going to kill me with worry… I swear it!"

I just hugged her back. "I love you too, mother."

She smacked my head but hugged a bit tighter. "You're smarter than this, Armin."

I nodded. "I know. But sometimes you have to do something dumb to prove yourself smart."

She sniffled slightly and buried her head in my shoulder. "I can't lose you too, son. Please… don't worry me like this."

I squeezed a bit tighter. "You aren't going to lose me. Not this soon."

Not this soon…

…

…not ever.


	18. Chapter 18

_**A/N: Shoulder is still killing me, but I'm tired of not doing anything and leaving my stories unfinished!**_

 _ **Besides, I've kinda been waiting to write this chapter! :D**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Eren P.O.V)**

I walked through the hall late at night, too stressed to sleep. With the plan to take back Trost and my new found abilities, there was just too much on my mind at the moment. Matt had assured me everything would be alright but I really didn't know anymore. Humanity was on the brink of being lost to the world and it was all up to us to save it from destruction.

But we couldn't do it alone.

I had begun to think about what Connie had said about people beyond the walls. I'd said it was impossible for anyone to live outside with the titans everywhere, but Bertolt and Reiner were both from the outside – or so they said. I'd like to have believed them, but it just seemed too good to be true. There were a few colonies from outside the walls but none were in titan territory and were usually heavily guarded. For anyone to live in the valleys and forests outside in their territory was completely improbable. Yet it felt like even _I_ was being watched now, and I was more than aware than supplies was going missing. Not just food, but armour, gear, and even blades. What I noticed while I was doing stock check on the gear tonight was that wires from old and broken equipment were gone. It didn't make sense why that would be missing out of anything.

But there had to be a logical reason for it. I couldn't just believe that people were sneaking into the walls and taking what they could. I honestly couldn't. It was too farfetched to even believe.

I rubbed the back of my neck and took in a long breath as I turned the corner. I knew I had to get some sleep for the coming morning, but I just couldn't focus on that right at the moment. Too much was going on for me to sleep.

As soon as I turned the corner I found a familiar blonde sitting on the sill of the window, watching the world go by in the night. It was probably the first time in months where I'd seen him this relaxed. I doubt his mind was that well managed at the moment, but it was nice to see he wasn't as tense as he was today.

I silently made my way to his side and leaned on the sill with my elbows. He caught notice of me but didn't say a word. I wondered for a brief moment if he was too scared to. That if he spoke to me I'd become a titan and hurt him for even speaking to me. That wasn't the case, of course, but the thought weighed heavily in my mind.

But I could never hurt Armin. Not in a million years.

He hummed slightly before closing his eyes. "I miss the peaceful nights. The nights where we didn't worry about giving our lives or fighting titans. I miss being home and in bed listening to Mihael mutter about his story and scribbling out his mistakes. I miss the banters between my parents, and waking up to their smiles. It feels like I've been away from that for a thousand years. I can barely remember any of it anymore. Like it was all just a terrible, cruel dream."

I swallowed back the nerves I'd begun to feel and took a breath. "I miss it all too. My mother and father… my home. It really does feel like it was a lifetime ago before all this happened. Like a long dream. I wish I could just go back and stop it all from happening."

Armin curled tighter into himself. "If I went back, even for a slight moment, I would make sure everyone got out. Every last person."

I lay my head on my hands, still standing up and watching the stars. "We were always told we'd have to grow up at some point… but why'd we have to grow up so soon?"

He shrugged. "I can't answer that."

I looked up at the blonde and felt my breath catch in my throat.

Despite the somber in them his eyes still had a glow to them that completely melted my heart. I'd always loved his eyes, from the moment I'd first noticed them. It was around that time that I started standing up for him. I hadn't realized why I'd been so protective of him until the hormones finally kicked in. I wasn't bad like some of the other soldiers, especially with the ones waking others up at night because they couldn't keep quiet, but I could remember silently idolizing Armin when he wasn't watching. I'd revel in his smile for a bit, get as close as I could, but I never said anything about my feelings. It was the one place where I couldn't speak my mind. Maybe it was because of the other soldiers laughing at me if they found out. Maybe I just feared Armin's father, Memphis. The man wasn't someone you wanted to anger, and I didn't want to ruin any relationship I had with him or his family.

Then again… Memphis had been happy to see Mello with Matt. Maybe he'd react the same way with me and Armin?

I doubted it…but with everything going on at the moment, I should at least say something _now_.

I heard the blonde hum once again. "Tomorrow's going to be a win for humanity. I just know it."

I grinned. "What makes you say that?"

I saw him grin back and my heart warmed up to see this. "I just feel like tomorrow will change everything for the better. I feel it in my heart."

He slid off the window sill and to my side. "I should try to get some sleep now. It's late and we fight early in the morning."

He turned to leave but I grabbed his arm to stop him. I hadn't known why I stopped him... but…

…no… no, I knew why…

…

…I just didn't know how to tell him.

He blinked. "Eren, are you alright?"

I took a shaky breath before letting him go. "I… I just wanted to ask you… erm… about… about the plan tomorrow."

"You'll know more about it in the morning, I promise." He answered before turning away to leave.

"But what about…" I trailed off, trying to find an excuse for him to stay. "…about… err… about you? Where will you be in all this?"

He fully turned around to look at me now. "Eren, what's going on? You're acting strange."

I felt my heart quiver slightly before looking away from his face, finding it was too difficult to pay attention when he was looking me in the eye. It was now that I fell silent, unable to speak a word for fear I'd say the wrong thing.

Armin just closed the distance between us and gently moved my face to look him in the eye. "What's wrong? You can tell me."

No…I really couldn't…

…

…but…

I leaned in as quickly as I could, shutting my eyes, and completely closed the distance between us with a kiss. I feared opening my eyes and seeing his disgusted face or for him to push me away and get upset with me. I was brave in facing the titans, and even the thought of execution, but kissing someone? No. I was purely terrified…

…

…but he didn't push me away.

We broke apart after a few moments and I opened my eyes. He was still there, still watching my movements. Only this time there was a light in his eyes I hadn't seen in what felt like a very long time. Like I'd lit a new fire inside him.

I liked to believe it was me, anyway.

Before he could say anything about my advances we were pulled into the darkness of the hall and our mouths covered by a hand each. Before we could struggle and scream for our lives, we watched as a guard suddenly walked past us without notice, patrolling for anyone out past curfew. Had he found us the way we'd been just moments ago I could only imagine the punishment we'd receive. It was bad enough I was on everyone's kill list at the moment – not to mention I was the least trusted person – but Armin had been getting the best reputation for his salute to the human race. If he was caught with me, more than a few people would think the worst and want him dead for 'betrayal' or some shit. And I didn't want that for him.

Not now, not ever!

"You two are lucky I'd been watching the grounds for you." Came the feminine voice.

We both looked to see Mikasa still holding our mouths closed and with a stern expression on her face. More stern than usual, I mean.

She let us go and I gasped for air. "A simple warning would have sufficed!"

"Not enough time." She explained. "Besides, I didn't want to ruin the moment between you two."

I blushed heavily at this but turned away so they couldn't see it.

I heard Armin sigh out a small laugh. "Thank you, Mikasa. I don't know what we would have done were we caught outside after curfew."

"Then you should hurry to bed now." She said warningly. "There are more guards on patrol tonight than usual. After the attack today, I don't blame the tightened security. Especially after Eren's little show today."

"I wasn't in control." I growled out, turning back to her.

Her expression remained the same, except for the tiny grin in the corner of her mouth.

She turned back to the hall where she'd hidden us and strode off into the darkness. "Enjoy the rest of the night, you two."

I grumbled in annoyance, crossing my arms and trying to chase away the blush.

I felt a hand loop into my arm and pull me in beside them, and it took a moment to realize it had been Armin.

A pair of lips pressed against my cheek before I heard a slight giggle pass through them. "Everything will be fine tomorrow, Eren. But I'm glad you told the truth now instead of later. Lord know we'll be busy after we retake Trost, and you wouldn't have the time to tell me then."

I couldn't chase away the blush this time so I pretended it wasn't even there. "I'd better not lose you tomorrow. It took a lot of courage for me to… you know…"

He responded by pulling my face in for another kiss and I could swear I felt my head spin with this one.

We broke apart and he cuddled his head under my chin. "To kiss me?"

I bit back the grumble. "Yes."

The blonde snickered to himself before backing away and pulling at my hand. "We should get out of here like Mikasa said. I don't want to be caught fraternizing with a titan. They might string me up for it."

"If they did I'd murder them." I warned. "Destroy the final wall myself."

"Then you'd get killed." He warned me, dragging me back to the barracks. "And we need you for tomorrow."

"Humanity wouldn't be worth saving if they killed someone as innocent as you." I said as I followed him willingly. "Hell, if Matt never got involved I would have punched Kitts myself with a giant titan fist! It would have been quite the show."

"A regular sized Eren with a giant titan fist?" He questioned. "That would be interesting. But tell me, why not say anything about your feelings sooner?"

"I can do many things, but talk about my feelings is not one of them." I answered truthfully. "I fight in order to show my emotions."

He guided me into a darker hall before bringing my hand to his lips. "It didn't used to be that way. Not when we were alone."

"Being alone with each other is few and fleeting." I explained. "Just know that with each punch I throw at another titan, I do it out of love and adoration for you."

"Such a gentleman!" He quipped before dragging me into a run back to the barracks.

I chuckled at this. "You seem eager to get to bed."

"Don't think so crudely of me, Yeager." He retorted. "Although… it would be nice to get back at the ones who had kept us awake that one night."

"They sounded like they were having fun." I remarked. "But I wouldn't ask so much from you so soon. I'm just glad you aren't angry for my forwardness."

"More relieved than angry." He promised me in a whisper as we got to the barracks, opening the door and sneaking inside. "I was beginning to think that all you cared about was titans and eradicating them."

"I have other interests." I whispered back as we found our bunks. "Remember when I used to draw?"

"I remember you using a pen and paper, but you never drew anything I could make out." He jabbed at me, smiling at his quick mind.

I crawled in on top of him to pin him in his place. "I had other talents."

"Throwing sticks at ducks is not considered a talent." He retorted.

"No," I agreed, "but when you hit three with one stick, I consider it a talent of dexterity."

"Cruelty to animals, more like." He mumbled, turning over to cuddle into his blanket. "Now get to your own bunk and go to sleep."

"Don't I get a kiss goodnight?"

Thinking he'd actually give me one, I didn't prepare for when he kissed his hand then slapped my cheek lightly before curling back into his blanket. It honestly took me by surprise.

"Goodnight, Eren." He said luridly, smiling at his own quickness yet again.

I rolled my eyes before flopping back down into my own bunk. "Goodnight, Armin."

But to be honest… I didn't sleep much that night at all.

Which meant when Armin woke up an hour earlier than he'd wanted to, we got more time together to fully work out how we would handle this new relationship of ours. We agreed not to have anyone else but Mikasa know about it, and that we'd keep it undercover for as long as we could. It would be difficult to have time together after everything today, and I still worried about losing Armin to the titans, but we'd work it all out…

…I hoped.


	19. Chapter 19

_**A/N: Shoulder is still killing me, but I'm tired of not doing anything and leaving my stories unfinished!**_

 _ **Besides, I've kinda been waiting to write this chapter! :D**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

At the top of wall Sina, after conveying the plan to all the soldiers who would join us, and after rising the hopes and spirits of those willing to lay down their lives for humanity, we set the plan into motion. Eren and Mikasa went one way, and I went the other. My only regret was not saying goodbye to Eren. I hadn't wanted a goodbye to be our last words to each other, but I'd also wanted more time with the brunette before all this.

I felt a hand on my shoulder as I got into place. "Everything will go over fine, Armin."

I looked over my shoulder to find Light had joined me in the distraction part of the mission. After he'd broken his arm in the last attack, there wasn't much he could do to help with fighting the titans or helping Eren. Matt took his place in that department I believed.

I nodded before looking back to my gear, making sure it all would work properly. "I have faith in Eren, but I can't help but feel a nagging in the back of my mind."

"We'll be fine, son." Came another voice.

I looked up in surprise to find my father dressed in uniform and ready for battle. The only thing different about his uniform was the left arm sleeve had been tied and pinned up so as not to get in the way during battle.

Light chuckled. "Good to see you fighting again, commander."

I looked back at the brunette. "I thought Matt…"

"Both of us have been asked to help command this mission along with Pixis." My father answered. "I'll be scouting from the ground when the order is called. My team will lure the titans to your position where you will keep them distracted. After that then Eren will take his role in all this."

"But… what about mother?" I asked worriedly. "What if you fall in battle?!"

"Then I'll have finally done something with my life other than staying cooped up behind a wall." He said proudly. "You and your brother were right to speak your minds and seek something more. We can't let the titans bully us into hiding any longer. We have to have this win for humanity's sake alone. And I believe more than anything that we can win this. For humanity… for all we've lost."

I nodded, grinning slightly at his words. "Then you should get into position. They're about to call for the attack."

My father pulled me into a hug. "I'm so proud of you, my boy. For everything you've done."

The first call was made for everyone to get in position and the man let me go.

He made a sprint for the line back down to the ground and wished us luck. And with that – and a pat on the back from Light – we harnessed ourselves to the wall and got ready for the drop. We'd be playing he bait today so we couldn't be too low or too high. Too high and we couldn't get the titans interest, and too low…

…well… that much should have been obvious.

The second call was made and we lowered ourselves into position. Light and myself, followed by Connie, Sasha, Jean, Krista, Reiner, Bertolt, and just a few others willing to go through with this job, dangled there in midair to grab the titan's attention. The ones that were nearby were immediately upon us, so it gave me hope that this would go over smoothly.

I growled to myself. "This better work."

"Why so angry?" Connie suddenly asked, somewhat enjoying the relaxed job. "You seem to be mistrustful of all this."

"Not my plan… but someone else." I answered truthfully. "Rico."

"That miserable girl with the pole up her butt?" Jean asked. "Even _I_ admit she's cold. I hear she tried to convince Pixis to execute Eren even though he was already freed from the trial."

"Exactly." I muttered, keeping a close eye on the titans below me. "I understand her position, but she's too mistrustful of others. Not to mention colder than ice."

I suddenly noticed the band of horses and riders coming in from around the corner with a few titans on their tails. The moment they caught us, however, they left the riders to try and get to us. With that done, it only meant it was time for Eren to make his move…

…

…so then… where was he?

I could see the boulder we'd discussed in the plan, but no Eren going after it. What the hell was taking him so long? He should have been there by now. The others had noticed this as well and started voicing their concerns, but not long after our questioning did we see the red flare rise into the sky and signal that things had taken a darker turn.

I heard Light's breathing slow to a halt. "Do you think…?"

I climbed up from the line and unhooked myself from the wall. Looking down at Light I commanded him to keep the titans attention for as long as possible. If things got too dangerous then he would have to do as he saw necessary. When he agreed to this, I re-harnessed my three dimensional gear and jumped away from the wall and the titans towards Eren's location to find out what was wrong.

I'd found my father on the way and he'd asked what was going on. When I told him I'd find out, he promised to keep the titans off of us for as long as he could, then rode off to another part of the district.

Once I'd finally gotten to Eren's location I was horrified to see that he was indeed in titan form, but had destroyed almost every building around him trying to get to Mikasa who was in a higher location now and away from him.

When I got to her side she explained that she had no idea why he'd attacked her, but that he wasn't healing like he would normally as a titan. His hands were gone and his face remained scratched. Something was definitely not right at the moment.

I took a breath before turning to the dark haired soldier. "Help the others with the titans. Kill as many as you can. But leave Eren to me. I think I can bring him back from this stupor of his."

"Are you sure…"

"Just go, Mikasa!" I commanded. "We don't have a lot of time!"

She nodded silently after a moment before zipping off to help the others, leaving me with Eren.

With the brunette now sitting quietly I could do some thorough research. And the one thing we were taught in the first years of the military, was that no matter what you did to a titan they would always regrow and replenish… except for the nape of the neck. The same place I'd seen Eren emerge from just the day before. Could it have meaning in this instance?

I zipped down to the titan-shifter and slowly made my way to the nape of the neck. Eren was roughly fifteen metres in height, and to kill the fifteen metre's you had to cut fairly deep in order to kill him. But what if…

I place a hand onto the nape of the neck and listened in to find out if there was anything I could hear. And, surprisingly, I could hear breathing.

Which meant Eren…

 **(Eren P.O.V)**

 _I was so tired… so warm… I could barely keep my eyes open. There was something I was supposed to do… something important… but I couldn't remember what it was. I was home, I was cuddled in my blanket that my mother had made me… and father was home. He was home, with mother and Mikasa… before… before…_

 _Before what?_

 _I closed my eyes again, falling into a slumber… when I heard a strange noise. It sounded like… knocking._

 _I forced my eyes open and looked up to see Armin knocking on the window forcefully. He was saying something… something I couldn't make out. But he looked so good in the morning light… like an angel sent down from the heavens._

 _He knocked harder and I smiled at him. "Armin, you should go home. It's almost dinner time, isn't it?"_

 _He kept screaming something at me but I couldn't hear it._

 _"Go on! Mihael will get mad if you don't go home and eat!" I reminded him. "You know how he is about your health."_

 _He suddenly stopped hammering on the window and just stood there… crying. But why was he crying? Why was he acting this way?_

 _His mumblings became clearer now._

 _"Eren… we're going to get out of here. We're going to find the sea… remember?"_

 _I hummed, shaking my head. "I'm so warm though. Why can't we just rest?"_

 _"Because you promised me… you promised me…" his voice clouded over with tears._

 _I hummed again before falling into slumber. But right before I drifted off into a wonderland of dreams and fun, my arm was set ablaze with pain and my eyes shot open as I screamed. Before I could question why this was happening, I heard Armin's voice clearer than it had been before._

 _"What about the outside, Eren? What about finding a place where we'd be alone together? What about finding peace and eradicating all the titans? Wasn't that your dream? Is that your goal?"_

 _The thought sent my mind into a shiver, and I felt something awaken in me that had been there for as long as I'd been alive. The thoughts of adventure and solace gave that feeling a whole new meaning to me._

 _And now I had to act on it…_

My eyes opened, and I could see now where I truly was.

I stood up from my spot, feeling my hands tingle as they grew back into what they were before. When I looked over to my shoulder, feeling something clambering there from my back, I noticed a tiny looking blonde watching me with fear. His blue eyes wide and hopeful.

I couldn't really smile in this form but I held up a finger to his head and tapped him as lightly as I could, showing that I was in full control.

He smiled at me and hugged the finger. "Good to have you back, Eren."

I closed my eyes in a sort of grin before opening them again and finding the boulder.

Now to finish what we started.

 **(Matt P.O.V)**

I rolled when I hit the ground, trying to minimalize damage, but I still managed to injure my shoulder from the impact. The pain reminded me of the last fight I'd been in as a soldier, and I immediately tried to remove the thought from my head. It was bad enough that just the mention of Mello's sent my head into a spin, but I had to deal with the rumours of survivors having fled to the outside. I tried my hardest to push the thought out of my head, but I couldn't help but believe it might have been true. That Mello survived and was somehow going to return.

But I'd watched him fall that day… I'd watched him slip from my hand and plummet to the ground. There was no survivors…

…there was no Mello.

I pushed myself off the ground and watched as titans began to flood Trost once more. Light had called back the bait we were using for fear for their lives, and now we were looking at a complete failure of a mission.

All was lost.

A sudden shake in the ground made me stumble and fall over and I looked to find the source of it being a fifteen metre titan carrying a boulder almost as large as him. On his shoulder stood Armin, making sure everything went as planned. The only downside to all this was that the other titans were coming after him now. Which meant if this hole didn't get sealed up right away…

…we were all finished.

Armin saw me almost instantly and zipped down to my side to see if I was alright.

He helped me up and asked about the others.

So I gave him the truth.

"There are a few casualties, but Mikasa and your father are safe… for now."

"And the others? What about the bait team?"

"Last I saw Light was calling them back in. It was getting too dangerous."

A sudden sound of rushing air hit my ears and I saw Memphis zip up from the ground. He looked as if he'd gone through hell and back to get here.

"The horses got spooked and ran off." He explained. "I told my men to go back to wall Sina. If Eren doesn't get that hole plugged up and done with we could be looking to abort the mission."

"He has it covered." Armin promised as he pointed to the titan.

Eren indeed seem to have the upper hand against the other titans, but if he didn't hurry it up he could be trapped in by the other monsters. We needed help, more than we had already!

The titan shifter finally got to the hole and lay down the boulder before it, causing us to shout in joy and victory. I could even hear a few other soldiers holler in happiness. We'd won back Trost from the titans…

…or so we believed.

When the titan shifter turned around he was surrounded by other titans, big and small. Eren may have had the height advantage on them, but they had strength in numbers. And if any of them managed to get to his weak point…

"We have to help him!" Armin exclaimed, making a run for the edge.

His father stopped him and held him close. "We can't, Armin, there's too many! We're only three soldiers, and there has to be more than a dozen. If we took them on then we'd surely lose our lives…"

"I don't care!" He yelled, trying to squirm out of his father's grasp. "I won't let it end like this!"

I grabbed hold of him as well and bit back the tears. "It's too late, Armin. I'm sorry."

He kept squirming, tears falling from his eyes. He just wouldn't give in and let things be. What I wouldn't have given to have his strength during that last moment I had with Mello.

I held on a bit tighter to the young man and pulled him into a hug. "I'm sorry."

He pushed me away. "I'm not giving up without a fight! I'm never going to sit down and take it anymore! NEVER AGAIN!" He exclaimed, turned back and running for the edge.

He stopped mid run though when all of our eyes met the scene in front of us.

A dozen titans… each one of them falling… one by one from a quick and mortal neck wound. Each one with the most perfect cut ever seen by a soldier like me. It was fast, it was quick, and it was flawless. Not even Mikasa could have outmatched these type of wounds.

A crowd gathered behind us to watch as each titan was dispatched in a blink of an eye. Almost as if god himself were smiting the beings for all they had done.

"What's going on?" I heard Light suddenly ask. "It's like they're all just… failing. Like they're giving in and dying."

I shook my head. "No… no, someone is doing this. Maybe more than one."

"But who?" Memphis asked. "The soldiers can't work at that kind of speed."

"They aren't soldiers." Came a monotonous voice from another roof.

I looked over to find a man with shaggy black hair and round eyes watching the spectacle. He sat in an awkward position with his thumb to his lip. He seemed to be judging the ones taking out the titans with a strong eye. As if he expected more from them.

He rubbed his lip slightly. "But then… you wouldn't know too much about it, would you."

I blinked and strode over to the edge of the roof. "Who are you? You aren't from the Corps, are you?"

"Aren't _you_ the corps?" He asked, his eyes shifting towards me. "Or do you just think of yourself from the military? Hmm… no matter, I suppose. No, I'm not from the Corps. I have my own training facility for the survivors and runaways of this… kingdom? Would you call it that? I suppose you would. It is run by a king, I believe."

Survivors? But then…

"Who are you!?" Light suddenly demanded. "Your commanding officer just asked a question!"

He blinked at the brunette. "I am L, kind sir. And I'd appreciate it if you didn't scream at me like a brute. Show some respect for the badge you wear."

The man backed away from the edge then. "L...? That's... that's not possible. L was blacklisted after he went AWOL. You can't expect me to believe…"

"But you have to," he replied, standing up from his spot, "I am L, and I am here with my students to help with this war. Then again… I never would have gotten involved had it not been for my newest prodigy. Poor child still believes this world of yours is worth saving even after titans have made it their playpen."

A cheer rang out amongst the soldiers and the last of the titans had fallen for good. The only other one standing was Eren, and even he seemed to be dazed by what he'd seen.

The titan boy suddenly fell to his knees and a sharp steam rose out from below him. Within moments, however, he was out of his fleshy cell and brought to the roof parallel to us where this L character looked him over. He was unconscious and mumbling something incoherent, but he looked to be alright.

"Fifteen metres?" The man asked.

The female who had brought him in nodded. "A nice specimen too. But there's hardly a scratch on him."

"I say we kill him." Came a rougher voice from a male with dark hair. "There's no need for another shifter."

"Shut it, Gevanni." Came another… …familiar, voice. This one I'd heard only a few times before in my past, but every night in my dreams.

"You think everyone's worth saving, blondie!" Came another, rougher voice from a larger man. "Even that Near character! We can't let people this dangerous live!"

Someone suddenly picked up the almost lifeless body of Eren and strode over through the odd bundle of people.

"You trusted Near before I did, remember. And he'd been there a lot longer than I had as well. Try to have all the facts before starting up shit, Rester. Besides, shifters are rare and hard to find." The voice spoke up again, a chuckle following afterwards. "Despite what you believe, we need them around. This one did exceptionally well with reclaiming lost territory."

I stepped up to the edge, my heart sinking in my chest. It couldn't honestly be…

The wisp of blonde hair, the bright eyes that reminded me of a clear blue sky, and a smile that spoke a thousand words. His familiar features, with brand new ones to add on. The sleek leather, the improved three-dimensional gear, and a stronger more toned body than he'd had before. I thought I'd be dreaming of him for my entire life and over… but it seemed god would grant me so much more than that.

The blonde stepped up onto the edge of the roof, smiling at me proudly.

I swallowed my fear. "M-Mello?"

His smile widened, warming my heart.

"Glad to see you didn't forget me."


	20. Chapter 20

_**A/N:**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Mello P.O.V)**

 ** _Day One - Haven_**

I felt cold… stiff… as if my body had shut down completely. My mind was alive, and my heart could beat, but I couldn't move any part of me. I didn't know if I was alive or dead anymore. There was only darkness before me, and a light far off in the distance of what I could only think was my mind. I wanted to race towards that light and find what lay before me. To live on in a new world and watch the old one. To watch over my brother and the rest of my family. To be close to Matt and make sure he'd be okay. I just wanted solace…

…

…but got something else instead.

The light dimmed away and I accepted the fate that would bestow upon me. In moments I could feel something touching my arm. It felt like a hand, and I mentally prayed that Matt had come to retrieve me and heal me back to life.

I called for his name, but it came out weak and strained. He didn't answer back though, and I worried about what had happened to him.

I forced my body to move, calling for Matt. Crying his name.

"Stop that," came a feminine voice, "you'll hurt yourself."

I got scared at this and called for Matt louder than before, wishing I could see something… anything through this haze of darkness.

"I need some help here!" The woman called, her hands trying to settle me back down to… wherever I was.

I heard footsteps against a hardwood floor and I became terrified, thrashing around and demanding to speak with Matt. I'd finally found my arms and used them as best as I could, but it pained me too much and I ended up laying back down in my spot, breathing heavily.

"Take the bandages off his eyes." Came another voice. "He's scared enough as is, he should have the chance to see where he is, for god sakes!"

"And what about the damage on his head?" Came the female voice. "He needs medical attention!"

A new, monotonous voice spoke above all of them. "Cut the bandage on one side of his face to lift it off of his eyes. When that's done, prepare new bandages to redress the parts of his head that are in need of attention."

There was silence after this so I could only imagine that they had agreed to his request and were readying everything for me.

As foretold, I felt a cold steel against my face as a snipping sound ran through my ears. Each cut making my vision brighter, and not long was it before I could see where I was and who was around me.

The whole room was dimly lit by a few candles since it was evening now, each wall made of wooden planks. There wasn't much decoration to be seen but it looked like a standard room with the bed I was currently lying in with a dresser not far from me. The people around me, however, did not look like the people from Shiganshina. The woman had dark, long hair, and was dressed in an odd uniform of sorts. It wasn't like the uniforms that the soldiers wore, but a bit tighter with less colour. The man she had spoken to was a tall beefy looking man with blonde hair, dressed in regular old clothes like back home. What I found odd about him was the cold stare he wore.

The other two were the oddest of the bunch.

There was a younger man with crisp white hair who looked down at me in worry and wonder. He wore the brightest white shirt with slightly darker pants, and his dark eyes roamed over me as if to get a reading about who I was and where I came from. This one I knew hadn't spoken yet, but I somehow knew it was because he was hiding something. Something in his eyes shouted mystery and evasiveness. It was ironic that way since he stood out more than the others.

The last one had been the one to command the others. He had sharp black hair and dark eyes, a regular white shirt and dark pants, but wore nothing on his feet. No socks or boots. He also sat in a rather odd position for someone his age, which I could only suspect was early twenties, with his legs curled up into his chest and thumb on his bottom lip. His eyes, as well, roamed over me, but in a protective and calculating sort of way. He seemed genuinely worried about my health.

The strange looking man put a hand to my forehead. "How do you feel?"

I blinked and tried to move away from his hand. "Where am I?"

The younger man with white hair tried to speak but was interrupted by the odd looking frog-man.

"Answer me, young man. I saved our life, the least you can do is be polite."

"Saved my life?" I asked in a hoarse voice. "What do you mean?"

The woman answered for him. "We found you ashore from the river. You were passed out cold and on the brink of death. L here saved your life…" she paused, looking down at her feet, "he saved all of us."

"But _you,_ by far, were a challenge." Came this man's, L was his name, reply. "You nearly broke every bone in your body, and stitching you up was no small feat. The entire time you were mumbling about something happening in your home. About titans attacking in Shiganshina. Is this true?"

I nodded painfully, then remembered everything that had happened.

I pushed myself up from the bed. "I need to get home! I need to find my family!"

My arm gave weigh and I fell back onto the bed in pain, hissing at the feeling in my arm. The woman held me down on the bed gently and told me that I was too damaged to move at the moment. That didn't stop me from trying again though and I ended up getting to my feet this time, making everyone in the room back away in surprise.

Everyone but L.

I stumbled over to the door but was stopped by the woman. "Please, young man, you can't be up right now!"

"Mello…" I replied through gritted teeth. "My name is Mello."

This was a lie, of course, but telling them my _real_ name would have just been dumb.

I stumbled down the hall, biting down the pain, and into what looked as though to be a family room with another few people there all speaking to each other. The talking silenced right as they met my gaze and soon more than enough people were trying to get me to sit down. I didn't listen, however, and made my way out the front door to meet with what I felt like a horrible sight.

Miles away from where I stood there was a wall, damaged and destroyed by titans. From where I stood the wall seemed so small. Even the titans that were entering seemed tiny from where I was.

But… where exactly _was_ I?

I felt a hand being placed on my shoulder and I turned to see L looking off into the direct where I'd been looking.

"The attack happened a month ago, Mello. The whole time you've been in a coma. Going back is pointless now. Not when everything is destroyed."

I felt my heart sink at this. "But… but my family… Matt…"

"I can't say for sure they're alive or dead, Mello. We could hear the screams from here when the titans took over, but we didn't have the resources to help. The most we could do was take in as many survivors as we could. Some chose to stay though and ride out the storm. Morons. But I guess you chose differently?"

I felt a tear roll down my cheek at this and shook my head. "No… I fell into titan territory to save someone I loved. I don't know if he's still alive though."

He didn't question me about who it was or why it was a 'he' instead of 'she'. L only nodded and patted my shoulder.

"You're a brave young man, and incredibly strong. Not all of your bones are healed yet, and here you are standing on the porch not even an hour after waking up. I'm guessing you have a desire to return to your home."

I felt another tear roll down my cheek and took a breath. "It'd be pointless… wouldn't it?"

"Pointless? Never. Reckless and stupid? Completely. Especially for someone in your condition. You're strong, but not fully healed. And titans have infested that place to no end. Stay here and rejuvenate, let us teach you what we can, and then we'll take you back. We've lived here for a many number of years without titan influence so don't worry about them."

I turned to the man in amazement. "How?"

He grinned at me. "This, and much more, we will tell you. But please, go back to bed and rest. We're having dinner soon anyhow."

Before going back inside with the man, I watched in amazement and sorrow as the sun set beyond the mountains and trees far off in the distance. It broke my heart to see this sight without Matt holding me close to him. I felt as though that this couldn't be shared with anyone else but him.

L noticed this instantly. "Sunsets are most wonderful when a wall isn't there to make it shorter. It seems like it can last forever."

I clenched my fists at this and choked down my tears. "Nothing lasts forever. Not even peace."

"Peace?" He questioned. "The walls brought this, yes, but it didn't help us to live. We just weren't dying. I'd rather live out here than not die behind those walls."

I looked back at the man. "What district are you from?"

He hummed. "I've forgotten. I remember Wall Sina so I could have been from the innermost wall. But that's in the past. My home is here now."

"And where is 'here'?" I asked.

His grin widened slightly. "Mello, I formally welcome you to Haven. A refuge and training ground for anyone willing to make the journey." He chuckled slightly. "Or fall into the river and drift to us."

I chuckled back at this, feeling my chest hurt at the action. "Well then… I'd better get better soon. Something tells me I'm not finished with the titans just yet."

"None of us are, Mihael."

I jolted at this and looked at him worriedly. "How did you…?"

"Your secret's safe with me." He interrupted. "I recognized you immediately upon trying to save you. You look just like your mother."

"My mother? How do you know her?"

He turned away at this and made for the door. "Dinner will be ready soon. Please go back to bed so we can serve you properly and you can get some rest."

I took a long breath at this before following him inside. I suppose the answer would come later on… hopefully. For now though, I needed to rest. However long it may be.

I sighed heavily. "Day one."


	21. Chapter 21

_**A/N:**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 ** _One Year of Haven_**

It'd taken forever and a day for me to even stand up for more than a half hour, but now I was helping around in Haven to keep things at peace. L took care of me along with his adoptive father Watari, and soon he allowed me to roam free among the gardens and trees of Haven. I'd feared greatly for a titan to show up when I first went out, but nowadays I didn't care. I was safe here in Haven, or so Naomi Misora had told me. She'd been one of the first people in Haven after L and Wammy. There had been others but they were long gone now, eaten by titans or off to find new Havens. Naomi, Penber, Rester, Gevanni, Lidner, Ross, Aiber, Wedy, and lastly Near were all residents of Haven. And each one had something special to bring to the table.

Aiber and Wedy had come from beyond wall Rose after fleeing the Garrison for conning people on the streets. They found a way out from the wall and ran into titan territory where Watari found them and brought them in. They were sneaky, sly, and knew how to get in and out of the walls without being caught anymore. If supplies was needed, they could help.

Ross I'd heard about from my father. A soldier gone bad, he went underground and made a name for himself by taking in protection money from the richer people of wall Sina. His business didn't get very far though since he was taken down by the military and thrown into the titan infested lands with a bag over his head. He apparently went wondering about until Naomi found him and brought him to Haven. He was strong and kept the peace by getting between people in fights, which happened more than one would expect in a place called 'Haven'.

Naomi Misora and Raye Penber were part of the Military Police until they fell for each other. When it was said to them that actions like that were strictly prohibited from the military, they eloped together and found solace with L in his home. I suppose some endings aren't always bad.

Anthony Rester, Stephen Gevanni, and Halle Lidner were all undercover spies from the military. They were hired on the side to look into the nobility and find any secrets they could about what they were hiding. Unfortunately they were caught in the act by one of the members from the survey corps and were sentenced to death by titans. Surprisingly, Near had stepped in the way of all the titans upon them and ran them to the safety of Haven. The three have dedicated their lives to the small white haired young man, and each one works with him in whatever task he needs them for.

As for Near himself… no one knows how he got to Haven. He was just always there. L had taken him in, gave him a home, and never spoke about his past. I guess I couldn't fault him for wanting to stay silent about it, but it made him look shifty to me.

I limped toward the bench and sat down thankfully, revelling in the smells of nature. Real nature with real trees and real sunlight. It had been a harsh year for me, but now things were starting to look better on my end. Perhaps L knew more about the outdoors than he let on. Maybe he could help me find the sea…

…to find it for Armin.

I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding and leaned back into my seat, feeling tears run down from my eyes.

"I miss you little brother." I whispered to no one.

I missed everyone back home. I missed my mother and father, Matt and my little sisters, even Eren and Mikasa I missed. But more than anyone I missed Armin. I missed waking up and seeing him asleep in bed, peaceful and dreaming of the sea. I missed making him smile when I brought home treats from the market, and I missed reading to him before bed. I'd cried every night for about two months when I realized I shared a room with no one. When I realized I was all alone and had no family to think about.

What was even worse was when I woke up happy one day, humming and thinking about everything being alright for a change, and I went to the kitchen early in the morning and made Armin's favourite breakfast…

…only to feel my heart shatter when I set the plate down for him, and realized he wasn't anywhere near me anymore.

Watari had comforted me that morning when he found me sitting at the table and staring off into nothingness. He'' told me I wasn't far from home and that someday I'd see them all again. But just the thought of me forgetting I was truly alone, and remembering it so suddenly broke me in ways I didn't understand.

I'd wanted to be free from my responsibilities… but not like this.

I was once told by someone that a broken heart was the hardest to mend. And I only realized how true that was when I'd lost everything.

My first few months in Haven were exactly the opposite of it. It was pure hell on earth. Ross mocked me or hit on me, no one trusted me, and more than a few people disrespected me for being so closed off. It wasn't until Naomi got involved and explained to them everyone and everything I'd lost and how much I was hurting. She'd yelled and demanded they apologized to me, which a few of them did, but I felt more helpless after that than ever. Even L was giving me strange looks.

The only one to not tease or ruin me further was Near, and I couldn't have been more thankful of that.

Near was silent and grateful, never making me feel less than what I was. He helped me to come out of my shell a bit more and teach me a few things about what Haven was like. It was nice having someone actually around to help me out and get me out and into the gardens.

As I sat there, thinking about my family back home, the little ball of white himself walked in from the path and sat next to me.

"Are you okay?" He asked in a quieter voice.

I shrugged, feeling my heart clench in pain. "Just thinking about my family."

He was silent for a moment before asking me, "Was 'Matt' part of your family?"

I looked at the young man with a questioning face. "How do you know…?"

"You talk in your sleep." He explained. "You screaming 'Matt' in your sleep and I was just wondering… was he…?"

I looked away then and choked down my tears. "I don't know. I let go of his hand to save his life, but I don't know if he did or didn't survive the rest of the attack. I hope he did. I don't know if I can live with myself if I knew I lived and Matt didn't." I sighed then and answered his question. "He was part of my family, yes, but he was more of an… add on. We became intimate and my family accepted him as our own."

"And… you loved him?" He asked.

I nodded. "Very much so."

Before the younger could ask any more questions we heard the sound of clanking metal and gear shifting around. Before long we saw two of the Haven guests walk up to the porch where L was to speak with him.

Aiber and Wedy had been gone for days now. A week or more maybe. But where had they gone?

As if he read my mind, Near answered me with, "Surveillance mission. We're collecting data from the attack and recon mission."

Recon mission? What did he mean…

…oh god… they didn't…

…they couldn't have…

My father once explained that the 'recon missions' were a cover up for getting rid of loose ends. People who were taking up too much space and too much food. They'd done it in the past…

…and it looks like they did it again.

L addressed them with the matter. "So what did you find?"

"It was incredible," Aiber began, "there were titan bodies everywhere thanks to this one soldier named Matt! He ever got a medal of honours, but the guy just chucked it over the wall!"

He gave the medal to L who took it with his index finger and thumb to study it better.

I felt my heart skip a beat as I stood to run over to L. "Matt's alive!? Thank god!"

"You knew him?" Aiber asked.

I nodded at him with a smile. "You could say we're… really close friends."

"Rolling in the hay with a soldier." Wedy giggled out. "I like your style, kid."

L handed the medal over to me. "Take care of it for the moment. He may want it back when he sees you again."

I nodded once more and hugged the medal to my chest. "Thank you!"

"As for the head count?" L asked.

"After the recon…" Aiber stated, "No more than a few hundred from Shiganshina. Keehl and most of his family made it out though, and his son's looking to becoming a soldier in the family. They sadly lost their eldest son in the attack. Everyone's devastated."

I kept quiet at this and watched as L calculated the events. All the while staying silent about my connection to them.

"At least Memphis survived. He was the only one brave enough to face the outside and get through it alive. What about Grisha's family?"

"His son lives, and the young girl he took in, but he and his wife are gone. Kalura dead, and Grisha MIA."

"I see…" L hummed out. "Any other news you bring?"

"Some nobles are mistrustful of the people from Shiganshina and are looking to getting rid of them in one way or another," Wedy added, "and there was some suspicious activity from outside the wall. Some kind of… scientific experimental process. It looked like they were testing humans with something."

I felt Near cringe in behind me and I could swear I heard his heart beating faster now.

"Well then, we'll have to look into it." L figured. "It looks like the walls may be coming down in the next few years."

"How do you know?" I asked worriedly.

The man looked at me. "Isn't it obvious? People are starting to revolt, food crisis is high, and now with this attack people are more on edge than before. Titans got through wall Maria, so it may lead to others being destroyed as well."

"They only got through because of that monstrous one though!" I exclaimed. "It was gigantic… COLOSSAL! It merely kicked a hole through the wall!"

"You saw it up close!?" Aiber asked in amazement. "How big was it?! What did it want?!"

"It didn't go after humans like the others." I replied. "It just got through the wall. And if Wall Maria f fifty metres high, then this one had to be no more than five metres above that. I'm telling you, the colossal titan is the only one to get through the wall. Him and the armoured titan!"

"Armoured titan?" L suddenly seemed shocked. "What do you mean by…armoured?"

"I mean this thing couldn't be killed with simple blades alone!" I spoke frantically, memories flooding back to me of trying to out run the beast. "It shook the wall with each hit, and it decimated buildings! You can't fight it! It's completely useless!"

The three adults in front of me paled fearfully. I guess the news took them by surprise.

"We saw the colossal titan," L muttered out, "but with the armoured titan it's more than useless to try and save the human race in those walls. We'll have to evacuate them."

"But how?" Aiber asked. "Even if we managed to get a few to come with us, we can't house them all here. Titans will find them and eat them even if it means braving the water."

"Water?" I questioned. "Do they not like water?"

"Not exactly," L explained, pointing out to the forest. "Beyond that forest is a mass of water known as the sea. The salt from the sea becomes airborne and sticks to the air and trees like a web. When titans walk through it, their skin burns and melts off. It's one of the many reasons why we live here far from other places."

The thought of the sea and how close we truly were gave my heart an ounce of hope now. Enough to find the courage to convey my thoughts about all this.

I turned to the man once more and stood a bit taller. "We won't be able to relocate them, not without fixing their problems first."

"What do you mean 'We'?" Wedy asked.

"I mean I want to help. There are enough people there who want to see what's outside the walls, but back there it's their home. With one of the walls down the military is probably preparing for more soldiers to be trained. They may try to take back the wall and end the titans for good. But I have a feeling it's a lot more difficult than that."

"How so?" L questioned, truly inquisitive. "You have an idea about what the titans really are?"

I shrugged. "Yes and no. But… don't you find it odd how human-like they all are? They all have a humanoid type of face, and they walk like humans do. So there might be a connection."

"And what do you intend to do to help them?" He suddenly asked. "This battle seems more like their problem than yours."

"You're wrong." I replied. "It's always been my problem. From the moment I first saw this world I've hated it. I hated watching my father march off into war and come back broken and tired. I hated hearing scream at night thanks to nightmares of those beasts killing off his comrades. I hated watching him trying to make us breakfast and forget he'd lost his arm to a titan, spilling and making a mess! I hated seeing my brother getting beaten up because he wanted to live outside the walls! And I hated seeing my family disintegrate in front of me because no one gave a damn enough to help us out in hard times! And what I hate more than any of that, is knowing that no one in the military had the balls to do anything about it. No one but Matt. And I'll be damned if I watch the people I once knew and loved die because everyone is too chicken-shit to get up and do something about it.

"Allow me to do this, L." I begged. "I want freedom, of course, but I can't allow everyone I love to die because of other's stupidity."

It was a long bout of silence between me and the man before he finally grinned at me.

"You really are Memphis' kid, aren't you." Came the reply, shocking Aiber and Wedy. "The training will be difficult, and you aren't fully healed. You're okay with this?"

I nodded. "Anything to help out humanity."

"I'm giving you one last warning, Mihael Keehl. The training you'll endure is harder, heavier, and would make even your father cry under pressure. I train only those who are willing, and through that will you must find a purpose for what you're fight for. My purpose was for humanity and those who deserved a second shot at life. What is your purpose?"

I clenched my teeth and spoke. "For my loved ones."

He didn't seem convinced but sighed in defeat anyway. "We'll start tomorrow. You need strength and endurance training in order to go through the last portion of my training. We'll call this lesson one: Balance."

I nodded once again. "Tomorrow then at the crack of dawn."

He nodded back and turned around for the door. When he suddenly paused his step.

"Oh, and Mello?" He caught my attention. "I will not tolerate you giving up. It's this, or you're out of Haven. Laziness like the military back home deserves to be titan food."

I glared at the man. "I'm anything but lazy, L. You should know that."

I could almost sense the grin. "Indeed."

With that, he was gone. Tomorrow my training would begin.

God help me be strong.


	22. Chapter 22

_**A/N: 10 points to the person who guesses the movie reference.**_

 _ **50 if you know the song that featured it.**_

 _ **100 if you know most of the lyrics!**_

 _ **:)**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 ** _Nine Months of Training_**

"GET TO IT, ROOKIE!" Ross screamed at me. "GET TO YOUR FEET OR GET TO YOUR GRAVE!"

I felt my chest burn with each step I took. "Yes sir!" Came my reply, forcing down the pain.

L had gotten Ross to be my strength trainer for the course duration, but it wasn't the only thing I had to get through.

I had to go through a training of the mind in the morning with Naomi, endurance training after lunch with Rester, gear training after that, strength training in the evening, then lastly meditation in the evening to calm down from the day. This was my routine for nine months straight. But sadly, with every two steps forward… I'd take a step back.

My body still wasn't fully healed. My lungs had collapsed in my fall and it took L forever to get them back to normal once again. This meant my breath was shortened greatly and I couldn't run as far as I used to. My bones weren't strong as they were before the accident, and my muscles had become complacent and weaker thanks to the constant resting from the year prior. Even after nine months of training I was as weak as I was when I started.

Still, I pressed on…

…

…but for what?

I finished the course Ross had laid out for me and nearly fell to the dirt when I stopped running.

"DID I TELL YOU TO REST?!" He demanded. "GET BACK THERE AND GET A BETTER TIME THAN THIS, BLONDIE!"

I nodded. "Yes sir!"

I forced myself to start running again, until I was suddenly stopped by a hand on my shoulder. When I turned around I saw L right there behind me with a look of concern.

"That'll be all for today, Ross. Get something to eat." He commanded the bald man.

He nodded then walked off, mumbling something about me on the way out.

L guided me to another part of the training grounds where I constantly ran across on my early morning jog.

"Mello," he spoke up, "you've been in training for nine months now, but you don't seem to be getting any better than when you started."

"I promise, I've been giving it my all!" I promised. "I just… I can't…!"

"I understand, Mello." He said calmly, bringing me over to a large post in the ground, wider and much, MUCH taller than me. "And I think I can help you with this."

He pointed to the top of the post and I could see at the top there lay a soldier's blade. It was hard to make out at first, but I was too certain it was a blade.

He let go of my shoulder and strode over to a small box beside the post. "The blade up there signifies your goals." He opened the box and pulled out two stone ring-like objects attached to leather straps. "And these represent discipline and strength."

He then looped the straps to my wrists, making the – rather heavy – rings fall to my sides. "You need both to reach the blade. But you have to want it bad enough to get to it. Nothing in life, especially your goals, are handed to you. You need tenacity, strength, bravery, and all around discipline. Without these, you can't reach your goals." He then gestured to the post. "Now, retrieve the blade."

I felt my heart sink at this. Was he serious? He wanted me to climb that post and retrieve a blade with _these_ weighing me down?! Was he crazy!?

I felt my brow sweat and I made for the post. It was twice as wide as me so climbing up would be no small feat. However, I gripped as hard as I could and began climbing, ignoring the weights on my wrists. My body tried to warn me about the pain coursing through me but I tried not to think about it too much. If I could make it to that blade then everything would be alright. L would trust that I'm in for this, and that I had the determination and drive.

I felt my hair slip out of the tie I'd made for it but ignored it. I'd let my hair grow longer now seeing as how I had no reason to keep it cut anymore. My mother always told me to keep it short lest people thought I was her daughter, but I always kept it just above the shoulders. That was different now, and I didn't exactly have plans on cutting it anytime soon. My main goal was my training. My training and my family.

I made it halfway to the top and I felt a jolt of excitement rush through me before I looked up…

…and immediately regretted it.

For a moment I saw the top of the post, and for a split second I was back at the wall… falling… feeling the tears rush from my eyes, the fear in my soul, the utter pain!

I was terrified…

…

…and I let go.

L managed to catch me and we tumbled to the ground, but I was still so scared of the incident that I backed away from him and held my head in fear. Never before had something scared me so immensely that I cowered away from people. I'd been afraid more than enough times, but truly and utterly terrified? Never.

Not until today.

I felt myself flinch at his touch to my shoulder. "It's alright, Mello. I know how traumatic that must have been…"

"I'm sorry." I interrupted. "I shouldn't be such a coward…"

"You aren't a coward." He said bluntly. "You just aren't… motivated."

I shook my head. "No, I can make it up there!"

"Mello…"

"I WILL!" I demanded, standing up but still shaking from the fear. "I'll get the blade! I'll prove it to you…"

"Mello, you're being irrational." He said calmly. "You obviously have not found your purpose yet, but that's nothing to be ashamed of. It took me years…"

"I HAVE A PURPOSE!" I screamed at him. "I'VE ALWAYS HAD A PURPOSE!"

"Then what is it?" He asked in a stern voice.

I fell short at this, my mind going blank. I had a purpose… I know I did.

…didn't I?

I got angry at my loss for words and ripped the leather straps off of my wrists, hearing the clank of the rings as they fell to the ground. "I don't need these! I'll get the blade without them!"

"If you do then I'll have no choice but to fail you for this portion and have you leave Haven." He explained. "We had a deal…"

"WELL THEN THE DEAL'S OFF!" I yelled back at him. "I'LL JUST LEAVE THEN!"

"Mello, quit being so angry and _think_ for a moment." He pursued.

I threw my hands up in the air and walked off. "NO! If you want me gone, then I'm gone! GOODBYE!"

"Mello!" He yelled back at me. "Don't you dare walk out!"

"Fuck off, freak!" I yelled in response and began running off into the woods, not caring where I was going.

I heard L call for me once more in the distance but blocked him out of my thoughts. I didn't care what he wanted for me anymore. It's not like it was making any difference in me anyway! I was still slow and weak in every shape and form! There wasn't any getting past this! Not with training, and certainly not with a goal!

And I _had_ a goal! I had it!

…

…I had it…

…

…didn't I?

I shook my head at the fuzzy thoughts rolling through my head and kept running. Faster and faster I ran, past the trees and rocks, twigs and branches, and all the while trying not to cry. To not let god see me cry and give up like this. To have the world see the great Mihael Keehl, who had done everything and anything for his family, fall to the ground like a child and cry for nothing at all. I'd never yelled at authority figures like that before, I'd never thrown a tantrum, and I never gave up. So why did I decide that today I'd finally be the child I wasn't back then? Why now has god made my life such a stain? I just needed some answers.

Where was I going anymore? What was I doing? Who was I doing this for?

…

…what was my goal?

I kept running and running until my breath ran low and my heart burned for a rest. I didn't stop running until I made it to the sandy shore of the sea and I had nowhere else to run.

…so I got angry instead.

I threw anything I could – rocks, twigs, leaves, it didn't matter – into the open waters of the sea, spouting nonsense at no one. Just letting everything go.

I picked up another item and threw it. "Why did you do this!?" I demanded from god, picking up another item. "Why did you separate me from my family!? How could you allow so many to die!? How could you allow my father to lose his arm!? HIS SANITY! Why did you let them win!? Why did you allow the titans to live!? Why are you so heartless!"

My rants continued when no answers were heard.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU KILL ME!? WHY AM I HERE! WHY DID YOU DO THIS! WHY! FUCKING WHY!"

No response.

The tears fell from my eyes. "ANSWER ME!"

And when no one answered…

I picked up a rock, heavier than the others, and threw it angrily, letting the tears fall. "ANSWER ME, YOU COWARD!"

The rock had been too heavy for me and I fell to my knees after throwing it, the sand cushioning my fall. I wanted to get up. To stand up and keep throwing things. But I couldn't do it. I just couldn't bring myself to stand up and keep fighting. I'd been fighting since I was little and now…

…now I just gave up.

My tears hit the sand. "What do you want from me…?" I asked, looking up to the great water. "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?"

And for the first time in the seventeen years I'd been alive… I got an answer.

The sun set beyond the waters of the sea, and a dazzling array of reds and oranges filled the skies above me, making the water shimmer and shine in delight. The sun's rays spilling out from beyond the yonder where it rested each night and awaited to rise yet again from its slumber. Each ray shining off the sky and illuminating it in the twilight air, making it feel like the world above was dancing amidst the world of war and death. Truly, it was the most beautiful sunset I'd ever laid eyes upon.

And I couldn't help but cry over its magnificence.

A sunset… above the waters of the sea. Two things I'd never dreamed of even seeing in my lifetime. Yet here they were… together. As if shown to me to prove that in a world of chaos and death, there was beauty and structure.

Whether it was an answer from god, or an epiphany from my own soul, I'd found my reason to fight once more.

I stood from my place and watched as the sun set lower and lower, the night air growing more than more blue and navy until the stars could fully be seen. Then I turned back to the woods, thanking whoever it was to have shown me the way, and ran back for Haven.

The run took less time getting there than it had getting away and I immediately found the large post once more. L had left the stone rings behind and so I immediately refastened them and readied myself to climb.

The fear struck me once again, but I couldn't let it control me this time. I made a grab for the post and tried to climb. The rings weighed me down for a second time and I almost immediately fell back to the ground in a jolt. The fear was making me lose my grip, but I had to keep trying. I had to do this and prove that I had a reason to fight on now.

The night wore on as I continued to climb and still fall with each try. I didn't get frustrated though and continued to keep on climbing despite my fears. Despite seeing Matt in visions of the past, slow leaving my sight in a fall that could have taken my life.

I couldn't back down for that though.

Not when I still lived.

I fell to the ground once again and got back up. My arms were giving up on the fight now because of these weights. But if they represented discipline and strength, then I had to use them to get to my goal. I had to be strong… to have discipline…

…then it hit me.

I looked at the length of the leather on each side and saw that they were long enough together to wrap around the post and… connect.

It had to be tried.

It took a few tried to get it to work but in no time the leather tied together and formed a rope for me to use as an anchor for climbing. And suddenly, they didn't weigh as much anymore.

So I began to climb…

…and I got higher…

…

…and higher…

…

…and before long I was near the top.

Right as I looked up to see how far I was I felt my foot slip and I went down, feeling my mind rush with the memories of the attack. But before I consumed myself in that memory I held on tight to my anchor and thought of everything I was fighting for at the moment.

I lived from that fall for a reason. This world wasn't done with me yet and I aimed to keep on fighting for as long as I was needed. For my family. For humanity. For Matt and everyone else fighting the good fight. But out of everyone I was fighting for, I was fighting for Armin most of all. He'd been my goal all along. To take him away to safety and bring him to a promise land where he didn't have to worry about titans and being ridiculed. Where he could run free and have a home, to live and be happy! I'd always wanted that for him more than anything else. And I'd get him to this even if it killed me.

Even if I was on my last breath and death himself had come to claim me, I would crawl and claw my way through hell to bring him to his dream.

Like I promised him.

I pulled my way up and my hand reached for the top, resting on the pommel of the blade…

…I'd done it.

I pulled myself to my feet, standing atop the post and watched the world below me. I hadn't noticed at I was climbing that night had ended and the sun was coming up. Meaning everyone would be up soon.

And they'd see what I'd done.

I felt the wind blow through my hair and I felt something inside me stir.

I combed my fingers though my blonde locks and grinned half-heartedly. "This isn't me."

I brought the blade out from the wooden post and examined it.

Still sharp.

I took my hair in a handful and brought the blade to the strands.

My grin widened.

I sliced through the strands in one swift motion and my long locks were gone for good. My hair back to the original length it'd been beforehand, but messier and unclean. It was a rush job after all, but I'd later find out I liked it much more than my original cut from two years ago.

I saw the grounds flood with people as they all looked up to me in shock and dismay. When L came out though, I threw the blade to his feet and it stuck in the ground right in front of him. This didn't startle him however, but instead made him smile.

"Have you found your goal!?" He yelled up to me.

I crossed my arms. "I told you before! I already had a goal! I just forgot about it until now!"

"Then are you now ready to truly train?!" He asked in a knowing kind of voice. "If you like, I shall be your tutor from now on."

I hooked the leathers and rings back around the post and slid down without fear. Once I was back on the ground I threw both the rings to Ross who caught them with ease. For once, my confidence was swelling and making my pride grow.

I grinned at the dark haired man. "When do we start?"


	23. Chapter 23

_**A/N: REALLY long chapter today since I didn't want to make more chapters about Mello's past dealings outside the wall and ruin the story.**_

 _ **Next one will be Mello's last past chapter. PROMISE!**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 ** _A Meeting with The Past_**

The rain ran cold down my back as I waited for my prey to step forth. Food was running low back in Haven and we needed to go hunting, which meant leaving for far outside the forest where the titans were known to be. With the attack in Shiganshina having taking most of them out of our way it was safer in slight, but we still had to be careful.

Four years had passed by now and L had begun to trust me as his second in command. Moreover, I'd become the best trained in his elite group. My focus, my senses, and my mind were all heightened to perfection at its finest. This was why I led the hunt this year, and why Ross was more than nerved up about me taking his place as leader. He came around eventually to the idea of me leading, but he still felt the need to speak up once in a while. Though Near was far above him in trust to me, I respected his strength when it came to a fight. Though… not many were trusting Near these days as it were. Poor kid. Well, he still had my trust.

We needed him more than he believed anyway.

I heard Ross grumble. "Let's just kill it already!"

"Shut it!" I growled at him, making him flinch back. "A shot like this could mean sink or swim for us, so don't blow it!"

I turned my attention back to the prey, feeling me stomach grumble.

A heard of deer were hard to find nowadays, but I'd managed to lure them into a clearing. With this we could eat for a month or two, but only if we focussed.

I looked over to Naomi and she signaled for the others to knock a few arrows to their bows. Yes, we had guns thanks to Aiber and Wedy going in and thieving them for us – along with the three dimensional gear we now used to our leisure – but using firearms would scare off the deer. No, we needed a silent approach for this hunt.

I raised a hand, trusting in the archers, and lowered for the attack.

The arrows fired and close to five deer fell to the ground dead, having another three run off into the bush. I didn't bother to go for them since we'd gotten our kill, but following them would lead me to where they were holed up for the moment.

I ran to catch up with them, Near following close behind. He never really joined in on hunts since he wasn't much of a meat eater, but with so very few people trusting him it was better than we kept an eye on him for a while. L still trusted him, but there was strength in numbers when it came to mistrust and anger.

We followed the deer to the edge of the forest, keeping up thanks to the gear we'd taken from Trost. We hadn't taken the gear that was working and in order, but rather the ones we could modify and make for ourselves. The ones we had still had the blades same as any others, but we didn't need them unsheathed in order to use the mechanism that zipped us through the air. Not to mention, thanks to the work of Lidner and Gevanni, our gear was more silent and didn't explode out and make a noise with each moment we were propelled through the air. As well, since Rester once worked in a metalsmiths, he was able to make our blades lighter and yet more deadly. He'd made some kind of coating from titan bone before it could be turned to dust that made the blade stronger. It took a lot of trial and error, but we'd gotten the best of the best set of gear in the land.

Worthy of any titan to die at my hands.

The deer kept up their run until we could no longer see them through the brush and we had to stop and listen for them. When we caught their rustling in the bush we immediately took chase again until something caught my eye that made me reconsider the thought of it being deer.

A flash of white in the darkness of the rain and I couldn't help but stop in my tracks up in the trees.

"Did you see that?" I whispered to Near.

He nodded. "It didn't look like a deer. I think it was a horse."

"A horse?" I questioned. "Horses are known to be farther up north or inside the walls. What would one be doing here?"

He shrugged. "Could the military be here?"

"If they are then they're in for a surprise. L had me layout the entire lip of the woods with traps. For titans it would be useless, but other humans? We may wanna start planning some funeral arrangements."

"But why litter the ground with traps?" The kid asked. "L has never been paranoid about 'visitors' before."

"Not until your little show last month." I reminded. "You don't think someone from the military caught that little thunderbolt hitting the grounds?"

He looked down at his feet in embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I hadn't meant for anyone to get hurt."

I patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry about it. Let's just find out what these guys want."

I scrambled down the trees and landed on the forest floor to see two white military horses whinny and snort in surprise before calming down. On their backs were packs made from leather and trimmings. The same kind I'd seen… my father use.

I felt my heart sink at this. Although I'd missed him terribly, it'd been a while since I'd thought about him or anyone else from behind the walls. I'd been too preoccupied with training and getting ready to fight alongside everyone when the titans attacked again. Other than training though, I'd grown to like everyone around me. Even Ross and his sexist attitude towards me was starting to just become like some big joke. Ross was sexist and thought more with his muscles than his head, but he had tenacity and drive. Him and Rester were pretty fun when they were drunk too! And Naomi had always taken care of me in my worst times. Her and her husband Raye kept my spirits up and always had me believe in the brighter side of everything. Halle and Gevanni were alright, and I respected them immensely for their brains, but the way Gevanni watched Near was a little too creepy for my taste. Near was nineteen now, and Gevanni was in his mid-twenties. If anything went on between then _I'd_ have more than a few words for the guy. And as for Near, L, and Watari? They were like my second family. Watari always kept up my spirits and L treated me like his own child nowadays. And with Near… it was like having a little brother again.

I guess… I'd grown fond of everyone in the past five years.

…

But that didn't change my plan for going back.

I walked up to the horses, hearing Near land on the ground behind me. Judging how warm their saddles were, it would seem as though their riders had only just stepped off and had begun their search for… whatever it was they were looking for.

Probably Near.

I looked into their packs and brought out a map. Sure enough, Haven was circled on their map.

"Looks like they _are_ looking for you, Near." I explained, putting the map in my pocket. "They won't get very far though."

Before he could ask how I knew, we heard screams from a few unknown voices along with wooden planks being tampered with.

"LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" Said one voice as we clambered back into the trees.

The other voice only screamed in response as they both came out from behind a bush and made for their horses.

"THIS PLACE IS CURSED!" One of them screamed. "CURSED!"

"We have to tell the captain! Let's get moving!" The other said in a rush before galloping off with his partner.

I looked to the white haired kid beside me. "Captain? So there are others here?"

"Looks like it." He said fearfully. "But what do we tell L?"

I shook my head. "Nothing. We follow those bastards to their camp, steal their horses before nightfall, then keep 'em trapped out here in titan territory."

He agreed and we followed the soldiers to their camp as silently as we could. Thankfully, there were only a few soldiers in the wood and it wasn't hard for us to steal their horses after they fell asleep and take them back to Haven. L commended us for not doing something more drastic like taking their lives, but wondered how they'd get back home. I hadn't cared to answer him though since we both knew what they wanted and what they planned to do when they got it.

I mounted one of the horses, fixing the saddle slightly. "I'll bring the horses closer to the walls with Near. We'll leave them at a campsite or a fire until their owners come get them."

"And if they don't retrieve them?" Naomi asked, handing me a pack of food and other essentials for th long road ahead.

I scoffed. "My father always told me that a man's best friend in battle is his horse. The soldiers will head back to the walls when they find their horses missing."

"Then take them to the wall entirely." L commanded. "On horseback it shouldn't take you too long to get there, but you'll have a terrible walk back."

"Not with this gear!" I said happily. "Helped on the hunt today too!"

"Just don't get caught, and don't get followed." He said sternly. "The last thing Haven needs is soldier influence."

I nodded to the man. "We'll be home in about two days. But this will count as my workout for then since I'll be too tired to do anything else after all this."

He nodded before waving his hand. "Off with you then."

And we rode off into the night, careful to avoid the soldier's tracks. It would take until tomorrow afternoon to get there, and then a whole day to get back. The ride would be worth it though since I was thinking about taking some time off from all the work and training I'd been doing.

We avoided as much as we could of actual titan territory, making sure to mask our scent with sea water and keep them away. When we managed to make it to the stables by evening, making sure not to be seen by other soldiers, we harnessed the animals and made for the exit…

…until I stopped Near in his tracks.

"Mello!" He growled at me. "We can't be seen!"

"Come on! I haven't been here in forever! I just want to check out a few things!"

"We could get killed!" He hissed at me.

"Not if they don't find us." I reasoned as I pulled him into the stables and up into a stairwell that led to the mid-part of the wall. "We'll stay for maybe fifteen minutes and then go home, I promise."

"And if we _do_ get caught?" He asked.

I grinned cheekily at him. "You get cut and they all die!"

"That's not funny, Mello! I never meant…!"

"I know, I know! Jeez, take a joke!" I pulled him along once more and into the training section for newer soldiers.

Since it was evening now it looked like everyone was eating indoors at the moment, so I left the training facilities and went into the more commonplace part of Trost. Thankfully with our cloaks we looked like just a couple of people looking for merchandise. Although, Near got one too many stares from people because of his hair.

"Mello," I muttered to me, "I think they know…"

"Just relax, Near. We're fine. We'll go as soon as I find…"

"My boy! LOOK AT YOU!" Came a loud and familiar voice, making me duck for cover. "YOU'RE FINALLY A SOLDIER! How does it feel!?"

I blinked in surprise when I saw where the voice was coming from.

Two men, one younger and one older were hugging at the step of a slightly smaller home than I'd grown up in. I felt my heart sink at the sight since it'd been so long since I'd seen them last. But I could tell right away who they were in an instant.

I backed away and hid behind another home. "That's… that's them."

"Them?" Near questioned before he finally understood. "So they're… they're your…?"

I nodded. "I never thought… Near, go back to Haven."

"What? What are you…?"

"Just go!" I demanded. "I need to stay here… make myself known. They need to know…"

"Mello, you've been dead to them for so long now. And your brother probably has a lot on his mind at the moment already. I mean, he's a soldier now, and he'll have to give his life for everyone here someday. Don't you think he has enough…?"

"Near… I know this, really I do. But seeing them again…"

"Won't make this easier on you or _them_ for that matter." He explained. "But if you need to do this then fine, I'll go. But I'm coming back with the others, Mello. Maybe L can talk some real sense into you."

Before he could get up and leave I grabbed his arm. "Hold on!"

I then paused for a moment before standing up with him. "Let's stay the night here and get some rest. If, in the morning, I still feel like I should show myself… then I will. And you can just leave. But if I'm not so sure, I at least need someone to force me out the wall and stay out of trouble."

He grumbled at me before sighing heavily. "Fine, I'll agree to this. But you owe me big! I don't know how but I always get sucked in to helping you out somehow."

"Not always." I reminded him, climbing up onto the rooftop. "That prank I played on Rester was all on my own."

"Prank!? You lit his bed on fire!" He exclaimed as I helped him up.

"Yeah, but it was funny how much he screamed!" I smiled out. "Now help me find a place where we can grab a few blankets."

"And where are we going to sleep?" He asked.

I pointed to the rooftop of my parents place. "Our best option."

"I thought you didn't want to get caught!?"

I playfully pushed him. "We won't, now find some blankets!"

He sighed once again and started the search. Once that was done and we had some blankets we silently made our way to the rooftop and relaxed under the stars. With this, I had the perfect vantage point to listen in on my family and hear about what had been going on.

Armin graduated sooner than I thought he would, but I was disappointed to hear he'd be part of the survey corps along with Eren and Mikasa. I honestly had wanted him to be part of the Military police so he could be safe and sound, but I suppose beggars couldn't be choosers. As long as he was alive and still kicking, I was proud of him. Other than that though, there wasn't much else he talked about.

What almost killed me was when they spoke about Matt and myself.

The red head had kept his promise and stayed with my family to keep them all in good health. The only thing that bugged me was that he'd lost the will to speak after losing me. I couldn't have hated myself more than learning I'd hurt him so badly. I wished now more than ever that I'd just held on to his hand so we could have been together. Despite everything that had gone on with the titans, he still loved me enough to think about me even in my supposed death.

When all finally went quiet and I thought everyone had gone to bed, I slipped off the roof, Near slumbering soundly, and peeked in to see if everyone was as in good health as I believed.

My parents hadn't changed much, but my sisters were taller and more beautiful than I remembered. My brother had gotten taller as well but he still had those pinch-able cheeks on his face that made me smile. Matt had changed drastically though with his hair being lighter and more red while his body was thinner and less muscular. I'd heard he'd deserted his job in the military, but I didn't think he'd let himself go like this.

Dear god had I felt awful about having done this to him.

I was about to leave my place by the house when I heard Armin ask my father about something as they sat on the couch. It had had to do with something about strength and fighting.

So I listened in.

"I'm just wondering…" Armin began. "What am I doing all this for? I mean, I want to help for the greater of humanity, of course! But… I feel like that's only a small portion of how I'm really feeling about all this. Maybe I just want to feel useful. Maybe I'm doing it for Mihael. Or maybe I just want to prove to people that I'm your son. That I'm worth something more than that. I honestly don't know."

I heard my father sigh heavily. "It's difficult to come to terms with, isn't it? The reason you're fighting. Some do it for glory, others for fame. I entered into cadets to prove I wasn't just some poor little orphan with no parents or reason to his name. But it didn't make me happy. It didn't help me fight or prove anything."

"So then… why did you stay?" Armin asked.

I heard a small chuckle. "Because my reason for fighting changed. My whole reason to fight anymore was for my family. For my sons and my wife. So I could keep them safe. You'll find your reason. Don't worry about it. It may not even be around for the moment, but it will surface. Everyone has a reason to keep fighting."

I smiled at that and felt my heart clench at this. I had the slightest feeling L knew more about my parents than he let on.

"So then… why did Mihael not fight? Did he not have a reason?"

I then felt myself shatter at this. As if I'd been hit with a hammer and my whole being was being broken and taken apart.

Didn't I fight? Or… did I just give up?

My father answered this as well.

"He did fight, my boy. Not all fighting looks the same though. It took a lot of strength and love for him to give his life so that we could live on. So that we could see another day. He had a reason to fight, but he'd just reached the end of his fighting days."

I heard Armin choke up a bit at this. "I see."

A moment of silence passed before my father spoke up. "Stop thinking about it, Armin. There's nothing more to the story. Just keep moving forward, but don't forget what he meant to you."

"It's not even that." He explained. "It's like he never died to me! Like every time I wake up I'll see him there, or listen to his mumblings about his story. And at night it's like I can still hear his breathing across the way. I know he's gone, and I know there's no getting him back, but still I keep thinking he'll reappear and…"

He was cut off by my father who hugged him tightly. I only wish it'd been me to hug him instead and tell him to just forget about me so things could be better for him.

The large man took a shallow breath. "You two had a close bond to each other. So close it hasn't left your memories. You may never forget them, and that's not a bad thing. But stop looking at them negatively and start thinking about them as warm and positive. He's gone… but your memories are still fresh. It's a blessing if anything."

The younger sniffled slightly before digging his face into the man's chest to cry. "It's not fair!"

I lay my forehead on the wall before me and tried not to cry. "I'm so sorry, Armin. I should have fought harder."

I backed away from the wall and climbed my way back up onto the roof, Near still sleeping soundlessly. For all of two minutes did I force my tears down and tried to stay calm. I couldn't let Near wake up to me crying like this, but god dammit did everything get fucked up all because of me! My parents, my brother, Matt, I just… I couldn't believe it!

I was just about to wake up Near and get him to come with me so we could go home, when I heard another voice not far from me.

It sounded like…Eren.

"Remember when we were kids and we'd have sleepovers?" The brunette reminded

"And how we had to share a bed because Mello wouldn't give up his own?" Armin added, making me smile at the memory.

"Like sleeping beside me was so terrible!" He replied sarcastically.

Armin scoffed. "Your snoring kept me awake all night!"

The boy paused before replying with. "It's doesn't anymore though."

"Because I squeeze your nose to stop you." Armin giggled out.

I could just feel the smiles from the room beneath me. "Oh, like your hair never made it difficult for me to fall asleep!"

"What do you have against my hair!?" Armin asked in a semi-serious voice.

"Other than it hitting me in the face when you rolled over to another side…" he paused, getting quieter now. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

I almost giggled when I heard all this beneath me. Even when Armin was going through so much did Eren mean so much to him. I knew I saw something between the two when they were younger, but this took the cake! I almost hoped to hear some rather… adult things happening beneath me.

Then again, I may have to pulverise the brunette if he did anything to my little brother. Despite my happiness to see my brother happy, I still felt like he shouldn't be intimate with anyone so soon into his life.

I heard a hum of happiness. "Tomorrow we become soldiers."

Armin hummed as well. "See you then."

I smiled wider to myself before laying back in my seat and looking up at the stars.

I was glad to see Eren took care of my brother while I'd been gone. And I was extra happy to see the two becoming so close. But I guess part of me wished I'd been there for it all instead of hiding away far out in Haven. I wished I could have told my brother how great it was to have someone you loved and to tell him never to let them go. I trusted Eren enough to see him with my brother, and I was happy for their blooming relationship, but I also felt the protective need consume me a bit and wished I could stay around here forever to make sure no one got hurt. Armin was still my little brother after all, and it'd kill me if I saw him get hurt by someone he cared for.

I didn't sleep that night. My mind whirled with too many thoughts for me to sleep. So when daylight finally broke I woke up Near beside me and we got out of there as soon as we could. Before leaving I watched as my brother and his friends walked back to the training camp in order to receive their first assignment. Eren had this grin on his face that reminded me so much of Matt's that it scared me.

I turned to Near. "We should leave."

"You're not going to stay then?" He asked.

I shook my head. "As far as they're all concerned… I'm gone. And there's nothing to be done about that right now."

"Well… you could still…"

"No, Near." I interrupted solemnly. "Not now. Not while tensions are still high. Maybe in a month or two I'll return."

"But I thought you always wanted to come back and stay with your family again."

"I wanted to come back and help, but with everyone on edge it wouldn't be possible. I miss my family terribly, and it kills me to leave Matt behind, but if the military finds me they might execute me. People from outside the walls aren't too well known, and most people believe it's impossible. I'm not willing to take that chance, so let's go while we still can."

No more arguing from the kid. He followed me without hesitation and we were outside the wall in no time. But the farther I got from my family… the more my heart tore into pieces.

I'd loved them and cared for them for most of my life. Now that I'd been so close to seeing them and being near them again, I was leaving them for a second time. I felt cowardly and spineless, like I didn't deserve any of the treatment my family had given me while I was away. All that praise and love from my brother… it just wasn't fair. Lord knows I hadn't been there for him no matter how much I'd prayed and thought about him while I was healing.

It just wasn't fair. Not to them… and not to me.

It was an hour and a half or so into our walk home before Near spoke up and invaded the silence.

"You really love them, don't you?"

I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "I raised Armin since he was two years old. I took care of my father after he lost his arm. I cooked and cleaned to spare my mother the work while she was pregnant, and was there when my sisters Sera and Emma were born. I played the guitar for my grandfather, I fed everyone, I cleaned and made beds, I did _everything_ that was humanly possible for them so that they could live the lives that they deserved." I paused, my body stopping in place. "And now everything's been taken away like it never even happened. Everything… everyone… it's all changed. Even me. Of course I love them, Near. I gave up my life for them."

"You survived the fall though, Mello…"

"Not like that, Near." I interjected. "But I gave up my childhood… my passions and beliefs for them. I fought for them and worked for them, because I loved them. And now this is what I do with my time? Running off and being part of something I'd only _dreamed_ about for us? Why? Tell me why I'm doing this?"

The shorter man looked at me with a touch of sympathy. "Because they let you go."

When I didn't speak, he continued.

"I heard more than you think I did last night, Mello. Your father knew how much they all meant to you. Now, Matt could have been cast aside and forgotten by your family. They could have blamed him… but they didn't. They took him in because of how much he meant to you, because they owed you. Everything you've done for them they will never forget. Because if they forget what you did, they they forget you. And they don't want to forget you. Just like you don't want to forget them. But you let each other go, didn't you? You let them continue on, and they let you pass on."

I grinned slightly at this. "You think so?"

He nodded, grinning as well. "I believe so."

Before another word could be said about this however, there came a large crash that echoed through the land and caught our attention almost immediately. It had sounded like a lightning strike from behind the wall. But it couldn't have been…

A boom hit our ears before the sounds of thousands of screaming people hit our ears in a rush.

When I looked up to see if it were true, I felt my heart still at the sight of a giant red body standing at wall Rose. The same body with the same head I'd seen right before my very life was destroyed.

My knees weakened and I fell to the ground in fear and worry.

The screams… the yelling… the smell of singed skin and burning flesh…

…and falling…

…falling…

…

…

…then darkness…


	24. Chapter 24

_**A/N: Last Mello POV for a while, I promise!**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 ** _Let the Battle Begin!_**

 _I ran for the boats, holding Armin by the wrist and dragging him along with me. He was younger and shorter than me so he wasn't as fast to catch up. But I had to bring him to safety. My parents wouldn't forgive me if I allowed him to die by the hands of those monsters… and I'd never forgive myself._

 _We rounded a corner until we found the boats. But when I made a run for them, Armin slipped out of my hand and I turned to see him staring at me in pain and sorrow._

 _"Armin, are you crazy!?" I yelled, making a grab for him. "You'll get killed…!"_

 _"You're going to leave me." He replied as he backed away from me. "You're going to leave and find the sea without me. You'll never come back."_

 _I shook my head in disbelief. "No… no, I'd never do that to you, Armin! Please, believe me!"_

 _"You're going to leave me… you promised you wouldn't but you left anyway."_

 _Suddenly the scene changed into a world of darkness. Armin was no longer ten years old, and he stood before me in his uniform. His eyes, still filled with sorrow, looked into my own before tears fell down his cheeks._

 _"You're a coward." He spoke once more. "You're nothing more than spineless. I did everything to make up for your death and you just ran away! You ran to your heaven while I worked and toiled away in a camp and lost my sanity! How dare you! After all we promised together!"_

 _"Armin…" I tried to speak, hearing my voice falter._

 _He turned away from me and walked off. "You're no brother of mine."_

 _I tried to follow but t felt as though the darkness had me chained to it. I called for his help but he only disappeared further into the black void. Like he didn't even hear me._

 _I fell to my stomach and cried, burying my head in my arms. Unwilling to let myself get up._

 _"Mello…" I heard in the back of my darkened mind, but ignored it and prayed they'd never find me. I wasn't worth the trek to look for anyway._

 _"Mello, wake up_ … wake up…! …WAKE UP!"

I jolted awake when a splash of water hit my face, coughing and shaking from the cold. My breath was heavy and my nerves were shot. Everything I'd just seen, from the titans to Armin and the boats… it'd all been a dream. I guess I should have been thankful, but I honestly wished I'd never woken up.

I saw Naomi and Near sitting in front of me, the others all behind them looking at me in fear. All of them… including L and Watari.

"Are you alright?" Naomi asked.

I blinked before nodding slightly. "I… I guess. I don't… I don't remember…"

"The titans attacked Wall Rose." Near answered me. "They didn't find us, but you passed out in the field and I had to drag you back to the outermost wall and into a wrecked building. L and the others moved you to a safer place when they came to get us."

I blinked again, but this time in shock. "But… why'd you all come here?"

"We heard the attack from Haven." Rester answered. "L got worried and demanded we make our way over to retrieve you. But you were out stone cold when we got here so we moved you to another building. What happened to you?"

I shifted my gaze to the stone floor and tried to recapture what had happened but it was no use. I couldn't remember anything other than the colossal titan. The mere sight of it had scared me half to death, but I couldn't see why.

L hummed for a moment before looking me in the eye. "Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. You had a reaction to the sight of the colossal titan?"

I nodded, even shaking at the mention of it.

The man patted my shoulder. "Nothing to be embarrassed about, Mello. This kind of thing happens to most soldiers after their time in battle. It can even happen to witnesses of a traumatic event like what you went through. You aren't the only one, and you won't be the last. It takes time but you'll get over it. Believe me, I know… I've had it. We all suffer from triggers that can cause us to have fits or even faint at the sight or thought. What happened to you will take some time to get over and push through, but I'm too sure you're strong enough to work through it."

I nodded at his reassurance and tried to stand up, having Naomi help me. "So… where are we?"

"Behind wall Sina." Near answered. "With the titans pouring into Trost we had to get to a safer location. Although, there's a lot of commotion going on with the soldiers over some kid who they're calling a traitor."

"What?" I questioned. "Which kid? And why is he a traitor?"

L guided me to the exit of our little hiding spot and opened up the curtain to show me a cloud of smoke rising from the Trost district.

"A kid from the survey corps. He's a shifter, and they're looking to executing him for treason."

I felt my eyes go wide at this and I turned to the man. "Take me to him."

"Mello…"

"NOW!" I demanded, making him step back slightly.

With a huff of defeat he showed me out the door and into another hiding area where we followed the steps up and into the wall towards what looked to be a square where people would get together and just live out and hang around.

But that wasn't the case for the moment.

We were up high and away from sights, but I could clearly see a rush of people – soldiers – all gathered around three teenagers shuffled back into a corner. One was passed out while another tended to him, and the third stood over them both in a protective stance. One of the commanders was demanding that they step down and allow them to execute the traitor. Unfortunately for me, I couldn't tell who the kids were from up here so I couldn't know who was who…

…and I worried it'd been my brother.

Some more demanded were made before the soldiers tried open fire. But before they could do anything, a loud crash sounded through the area and a large plume of smoke and steam gathered around everyone. Amidst this steam I could see what looked to be a broken skeleton higher than the buildings surrounding it.

"So there are more." I whispered to L. "How tall was he?"

L hummed. "Fourteen… maybe fifteen meters. I was too busy tending to you to get a good look. He was fighting the other titans though so he isn't bloodthirsty like a normal titan."

"Is that why they're defending him?"

L didn't answer me right away. I suppose he was thinking of the best and logical answer to give.

"It could be that they're just good friends of him." He finally answered. "But then… you aren't the only one to see the pros of having a titan as a friend."

I blinked at this before looking back at the plume of smoke. Before I could even speak once more I saw someone exit the smoke…

…and felt my heart drop to my stomach.

Armin had his hands up. "Don't shoot. I mean no harm."

I ran for the exit to get to him. There was no way he was getting out of this alive without me! He was smart, but he wouldn't be able to outrun a cannon! He needed me!

I had to save him!

All the while I heard the back and forth between the two.

"You finally showed your true colors, monster! I'll signal! I'll signal the cannon!" The commander screamed, his voice falling short.

"He isn't the enemy of mankind!" Armin promised. "We're willing to share all the intelligence we've gathered!"

 _'Stop this, Armin!'_ I demanded from the far reaches of my mind, unable to yell to him because of my fear. _'You'll get yourself killed!'_

"Begging for your lives is useless now!" The elder man screamed back. "He revealed his true form right in front of us! There's nothing left to say! If you say he's not an enemy, prove it! If you can't do that, I will eliminate the threat!"

"There's no need for further proof!" Armin screamed back, his voice raising in bravery. "The issue isn't how we see him!"

"What!?" The man demanded

"You said everybody saw him! Then they must've seen him fighting the Titans too! And they must've seen all the Titans ganging up against him! The titans see him as prey, just like the rest of mankind! Nothing you say can change that fact!"

For a slight moment I believed his voice to get through to them. Even as I ran to find the quickest exit and into the crowd I believed he'd be able to stop this, even if my belief was small.

But there was no chance of it.

"Prepare to attack! Don't fall for this clever trap! Their actions have always been beyond our comprehension! If they can transform into humans and speak our language, that's just another way for them to fool us! We can't let them do as they please!"

I growled in fury and bolted for the first exit I saw and skid into the crowd of soldiers, none of them taking notice of me…

…

…but then I slid to a halt.

Fist over his heart and back straight and proud.

"As a soldier, I swore to devote my heart to the resurrection of mankind! There is no greater glory than dying for that belief! If we added his Titan power to the might of our armies, it might even be possible to recapture the town! For the glory of the human race, I beg you! In my final moments before I die, permit me to explain his strategic importance!"

It was as if I'd heard my own father speak these words. As if I'd heard him and thought he was recounting all his tales to me as a child. Armin sounded so grown up, even in his worry, and looking at him now I realized how foolish I was to believe he couldn't care for himself like a proper adult. Yes, he was young yet, but he became a soldier to prove himself worthy of something bigger than he anticipated. And I was so very proud of him for doing all this despite my fears.

This… this right here is what our father wanted for us. To have the heart and courage to face our enemies and fight for what was right.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and hear L hum in delight. "Now where have I seen this kind of courage before?"

I grinned and looked back to my little brother. "We're a proud group of people, L."

"That, I have no doubt."

I saw the commander look around frantically for a moment before raising his hand for the command to fire.

I growled angrily before drawing my blade, but before I could do anything to the man…

…someone else beat me to him.

Matt certainly was quick on the draw and the look in his eyes was as animalistic as any titan. He knew what he was fighting for, and he'd die defending it to the end.

Just like me…

…

…just like he promised.

Everything was smoothed over in no time, and Armin was allowed to give his plan to commander Pixis in the morning next for Eren's new abilities. While the celebration went on for those who were willing to fight, L and I slipped away into hiding once more and made a run for the hideout where everyone else was waiting. When we told them what was going on, they all seemed to have a bit of excitement rush through their veins.

But it was Naomi who asked the more important question.

"So what do we do then? Do we leave now?"

When no one answered they all looked to me for what we should do. Unfortunately, even I was clueless to this.

L chuckled slightly. "Mello, this is what you wanted right? To come home and help out?"

"But I…" I stuttered. "I can't… I wasn't trained…"

"You were trained, Mello." He reassured me. "You were trained by a blacklisted soldier who was too good for loafing around and drinking ale for the rest of his life. I set out to find Haven so that I could train the right people to take on the right battles. And you, you hard-headed blonde, were one of my greatest pupils. You inspired me to train elite soldiers once more, and gave me courage to come back from my mind and help out. The world needs tenacity, Mello. And your family is filled with it. Hiding out in the middle of nowhere would be a waste of tenacity. Now tell me…" he demanded as he looked me right in the eye, "how will you help them?"

I blinked in surprise and fear, looking back behind me to see the others pumped and ready to take off a few titan heads. Even Near seemed to be in the mood for fighting, and he never liked confrontation.

I turned back to L with a smile on my face. "Well, I wouldn't want to deny them a good fight now would I?"

I round of whoops filled the air and each of the gang ran up to pat me on the back, or in Rester's case pick me up triumphantly. Each of them were excited to finally be hunting something other than deer or each other out of fun.

Once Rester had me set on his shoulder and quieted them down and relayed a few procedures to them.

"First of all, we need supplies. _More_ than we have. So Aiber and Wedy, set out and find the best set of gears you can, and make sure they have the blades!"

The agreed and set off immediately.

Rester set me down then. "Ross and I will get to work on the blades. I still got some coating left over from the first set we used them on."

I nodded. "Get on it."

With them out of the way and in the works, I asked for Raye, Naomi, Halle, and Gevanni to make a fast trip back to Haven with the horses and bring back other supplies we may need. I also asked them to bring the pendants we used as protection from the titans. If anything they'd be able to smooth over the tide we'd create once we showed ourselves. One thing was for sure, we wouldn't be too welcomed by the military once they found out about us.

As for Near, L and Watari, They would sty by my side and collect other materials needed for the gear. It had taken three days to build the gear I wore at the moment, and that was all Rester alone. We all needed to pitch in and make this a reality for us were we going to fight. Even if it took up the entire night we had to do this.

And it did.

From dusk until dawn we were up working on the gear. It was hard to come by but we found an abandoned metalsmiths in Trost to use in making the metal parts for the gear. We'd had to coat the place head to toe in the smell of the sea to keep it out of titan grasp, but it all got done. Naomi and the others returning with the materials necessary in record time. I gave the pendants to each fighter and soldier, and stored one away in my pocket. The one I stored away was different than the others and was normally the one I wore while hunting.

But I had something different in mind for it this time around.

Once the sun was high enough and we heard the horn sound for the plan to get underway, we took up our positions in the fight.

L wished me luck before I zipped off and into the darkness, making sure to keep my eyes on everyone. Near would not join the fight unless L thought it needed. But truth be told, we couldn't have him in on the plan yet. With Eren being mistrusted, we just couldn't take the risk.

Rester and Ross worried about Eren coming after us, but I promised they'd be alright.

And thanks to Armin and his quick thinking, we were alright… if almost found out.

Once the regular titans were upon Eren we sprang into action in order to save him. It'd been a bit sooner than I thought, but I couldn't let my brother lose his friend like that.

Not to the titans.

I'd been afraid of them. Their faces reminded me of the horrors I'd gone through while we'd been attacked five years ago. But in the back of my mind, the part that stopped me from chickening out and leaving once more, I thought of my family and friends. Of everything they'd lost and everything they'd had to say goodbye to. I remembered the screams and terror, and used it to fuel my anger for the beasts that took everything from me. That took me from my family.

And in a fluid and fast motion, I decapitated my first titan and shredded the nape of the neck soon afterwards, drenching in the titan blood and moving on to the next beast.

Despite my fear and growing nightmares, I fought the very things that nearly destroyed me.

…Nearly…

Once each of the titans were dispatched, leaving Eren to be the only one left, I grabbed hold of one of his locks of hair and dangled in front of his monstrous eye. Though I was initially afraid of him, the immediate recognized look gave my heart a little flutter. Had he not been a titan, I was too sure he'd have cried.

I smiled at the titan. "Long time no see, Yeager."

I heard a gurgle in the back of his throat before he fell to his knees and lowered his head to let me down. In no time did steam escape the nape of his neck and he forced his way out of the titan body in a hurry. When I ran to his side to help him, he looked up at me with a smile.

He chuckled as I held him up in my arms. "He'll be so happy… Armin…"

I grinned back. "Rest, Eren. We'll get you to safety."

He giggled. "I missed you… don't tell him that…"

I patted his back as he fell asleep.

Rester took him and carried him up and through the air back to where L awaited us…

…him…

…and the other soldiers.

I took a breath. "Let the real battle begin, Mihael."

Then zipped off to rejoin the others.

God let them forgive me.


	25. Chapter 25

_**A/N:**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, review are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

"Wait! Where are you taking them!? Let them go!" I demanded, running after the officers who had taken my brother and his company. "You can't do this!"

"Armin, stop…" Mihael demanded before being forced to look forward again.

"Quiet! Pixis wishes to speak with you before we have your heads for treason!"

"My ass!" Mihael replied. "I've met the man, I know what he's about! And he's a shit ton more respectable than your sorry ass!"

"Mello!" Came the elder man's reply from up front of him. "Please calm yourself."

My brother and his group were taken to Pixis where he stood along with my father on a stage where hangings usually were known to have happened. I knew my father wouldn't allow anything to happen to Mihael, but Pixis… I wasn't sure about him.

The two men looked at the group in disbelief. Though my father had met Mihael earlier during the battle, none of us got a chance to speak with him before Rico took him and his group down after saving Eren.

Pixis chuckled as Rico forced Mihael's friend to his knees, but he himself stayed upright.

"Down on your knees, stranger!" Came the command from the soldier behind him.

Mello chuckled slyly. "Okay, but I'd better be getting paid for the service."

Right as he was about to get clumped over the head with the pommel of the soldier's blade, Pixis stopped the man and strode up to the blonde without fear.

The elder man patted him on the shoulder. "So you and your friends here are who I should be thanking for all the help?"

Mello nodded. "Yes sir. We arrived here yesterday from outside the wall to help retake Trost."

"Is that so?" Rico growled out. "How did you survive out there then? In titan territory."

Mihael looked to the black haired man who nodded in approval.

He looked back to the woman, then to Pixis. "There's a place far out and into an unnamed forest, about a day's journey on foot. From there the titans have no influence thanks to the surroundings. After the second attack where I witnessed the colossal titan taking over once more, my comrades decided to come help me. I convinced them to stay on and help with retaking Trost and establishing a pact with the soldiers. We mean no harm, I promise you."

"And where did you get the three dimensional gear?" Pixis asked. "If I'm not mistaken, only _we_ mass produce them, and if you're so far away…"

"I took them." He replied. I could tell he was lying though in the way he spoke. He did it so often for me when we were kids it was like a sixth sense for me to know now when and what he was lying about.

Pixis hummed. "And you modified them?"

He nodded. "Yes sir. Well… my friends modified them. But it was only because I requested it from them. They had nothing to do with thieving any of it."

"I see. And now tell me, how did you know that Yeager was no threat to you or your companions? You just took him in and helped him get free from his binds."

Mihael looked down at his feet. "With all due respect, sir, I'd like to keep that fact to myself. It goes without saying that I know a shifter from a normal titan. Eren just fit the bill."

The elder man waved off the question. "Alright then, I'll let you keep this to yourself. But one very important question. How on earth did you survive the fall of Shiganshina? I was told by your parents that you fell to your death from the top of Wall Maria."

He nodded. "I did indeed fall, but…" he faltered slightly, "…but I guess I hit the water and fell unconscious. I woke up in an unfamiliar place with L having taken care of me. I had no idea who he was or where he'd taken me. Just that I was safe and taken care of."

"And… you had no idea L was a blacklisted soldier at the time."

Mello shook his head. "Not until a year or two later when he started training me as his second. I told him from the very beginning that I wanted to return home and help in any way I could. He thought I was crazy, but he helped me. He trained me."

Pixis was quiet for a moment before strolling over to the dark haired man kneeling before him. "Stand up, L."

The man did as asked and looked the man in the eye. "Yes, Captain?"

"Commander!" Yagami suddenly warned. He'd been one of the captains to take in the group when things took a turn, and I honestly didn't know what he'd do anymore to prove his loyalty to his station.

Pixis waved him off and continued. "Your name was blacklisted when you went AWOL and left your duties at Wall Sina. Care to explain your reasons?"

The man stood a bit taller now and glared into Pixis' eyes. "To hide in fear or live in danger? Which would you choose…Commander?"

The men stared off at each other before Pixis hummed.

"The walls are here to protect us, this is true. But we've become complacent yet worry over the next attack."

"That's an understatement." L replied. "I joined in the fight because I had no choice to. Because I was told that I'd be better off as an extra hand in the war against the titans. But in reality, all I did was watch my fellow comrades grow fat and worry-free. The taxes of the people went to the wrong organization and people starved to death in complacency and stupidity. I couldn't take the overwhelming embarrassment and set out on my own to found a new place for people of the same faith as I. Those people I trained alongside my guardian Wammy. A former noble of Sina… I'm sure you've met him. He took me in, raised me, and trained me to be an ultimate assassin. But what was it all for? To train others and come back stronger than ever? No. My purpose for training others was to meet someone with gumption. Someone who could prove to me that humanity was worth saving. That we didn't need to start from the beginning with those who were brave enough, and instead fight along those who were brave but yet needed to find out their bravery. I found that in a young woman named Selena Keehl… and again in her son Mihael. His mother taught me to fight… so I taught him. And if you strike us down, if you kill us and allow our blood to pool through the streets, then you have lost your only chance in winning this battle. The titans will kill you off… but only if you end us as well."

A thrum of silence filled the air as everyone stared at the man in amazement. As if his words were spoken by god himself and the man was chosen to lead us on to victory.

Pixis noticed this as well before grinning at the man before him. "Would you be able to train others?"

L didn't even blink. "I will not tolerate laziness. And your students will have to be trained by my own in order for me to even consider one on one training with them."

Pixis nodded. "Done then. Our soldiers will re-enter training after the body count in Trost. Until then, we will release you into society."

"No surveillance?" The man asked.

Pixis chuckled. "I have a feeling _we're_ the ones under surveillance."

And with that, they were freed.

The group stood up, more than a few soldiers backing away from the two larger ones of them, and Pixis saluted to them.

"We welcome you as honorary soldiers in our lives."

The group looked to either Mello or L before repeating the salute along with them. With Mello and L knowing the salute more than they did – I believed – I suppose they didn't know much else about the soldiers. Which meant they'd be extra careful in the future to come.

Pixis cleared his throat. "Now, since you will be training our soldiers to an elite status, we will give the same proper resources that we give for all of our soldiers. A bed to sleep in, food to eat, and an hourly break…"

"No offence to you, commander…" Mihael interrupted, "but if you expect us to train your soldiers, then we will do so our way. We'll accept the beds and food, but for however long they are in our care, _we_ decide what they receive, and _we_ decide on what to do with them."

Pixis blinked at this before turning to the dark haired man. "L… do you trust this young man to speak for you?"

L nodded to this. "Mihael is my best fighter and most trusted student. I leave him with the duties of training them until I see fit when I will jump in. He's taken care of me and my adoptive family from Haven as if we were his own. To not trust him would be considered an insult to me. So please, watch where you tread."

The elderly man chuckled. "Alright then," and turned to Mihael, "continue on, Commander Keehl."

Mello only smiled. "We'll continue this conversation at the training grounds later on. For now we need rest." He then looked towards a pale, white haired teenager. "Near, take L and the others to the barracks. Commander Pixis will show you where you'll sleep. I'll meet up with you later."

The younger nodded before looking to the elder man.

Pixis chuckled once more. "Just like your mother. Lord knows your father didn't disrespect and belittle his commanding officer."

Mello kept up his grin. "You aren't my commanding officer." He then gestured to L. " _He_ is. Don't mistake my loyalty for weakness either, baldy. Trust is earned but rare to find. I owe L a life debt for healing me and taking me in, not to mention training me. Until you can match anything he's done for me, I consider you an ally… and nothing more."

Mihael then strode past the man and over to the stage. "We walk the same path, Commander. Our goals the same. Instead of leading, though, you will walk beside me along with your soldiers. There's no goal for them to see when you lead. But when you walk together…" he then stopped and looked over his shoulder with a wry smile, "everyone sees what's up ahead."

The elder man grinned back. "Just like your mother." He replied before turning back to the soldiers. "Take Yeager to his cell and then we'll show the others to their training facility."

"Not so fast." Mihael demanded. "Yeager stays with the others."

A murmur of fear and objection rang out through the crowd before Mihael made his plea.

"I know Yeager and his new abilities may be terrifying to live with, but we can't treat him differently than others. Especially after he helped in this battle to reclaim Trost. If he gets out of hand, then I will deal with him swiftly and soundly. But for now, he is a soldier. Just like us."

Pixis sighed but agreed to this. "Had you not proven that you can take care of yourself I would have disagreed to let you keep an eye on him. But, I have no choice but to believe in your word."

"Commander…!" Rico tried, only to be stopped by Pixis' glare.

The elder man turned back to the younger. "Take care of him. He may be our best defense in this war."

Mello nodded. "More than you know."

Pixis then departed with the group of newcomers and left Mihael to us.

When other soldiers dispersed, leaving myself, a groggy Eren, Mikasa, my father and a few others in the square, my façade of control was let down…

…and I smiled.

Mihael grinned back. "Not gonna welcome me back!? Come on, I killed a titan for you for god sake!"

I ran to the older blonde and jumped into a hug, laughing when he picked me up and spun me around. If this were a dream I hoped it never ended. I missed my brother's hugs more than anything, and now seeing him… being near him… it was all so much.

But I loved every moment of it.

"I can't believe you're alive!" I said happily, still being hugged into his chest. "I never thought in a million years I'd see you again."

Mello chuckled. "Takes more than a fall to kill me and my spirit. Jeez, the moment I got out of that coma I went looking for everyone! L thought I'd break another bone!"

Once we separated my father brought him into a hug as well and lifted him up on his shoulder. "My boy, this is indeed a day sent from god himself! I can't believe…" he set Mello down and held his face in his hand, studying him, "…I just can't believe you're here. That you're alive. It destroyed me to hear you'd died. But now…"

He hugged the younger man again and forced down as many tears as he could, a few stray ones leaking out. "I love you, son."

Mello hugged back with a grin. "I love you too, dad. I'm sorry for leaving you."

"Don't be… you did it to save someone you loved."

Right as he said that Matt strode up to the man hesitantly. "And that someone would like a hug of his own."

Mello happily obliged and hugged the red head without a second thought. "It's so good to see you again, Matt. It killed me to be away from you for so long. I sent prayers every day for you, hoping you got out of the fray. I'm glad you survived."

Matt kissed the blonde's cheek. "And I'm ecstatic to see you're still around."

My father patted my brother on the back. "We must go home and tell your mother about this! She has to see you again!"

I agreed to this. "And Sera and Emma! They'll never believe it!"

Mihael happily agreed and followed the larger man to our 'newer' home. My father even went a bit further with his celebration and invited the other soldiers who stuck around to a feast at our home. It wasn't well known that we had enough food for a feast, but I'm sure my father could make something up on the spot.

And of course, he came through.

After my mother was done hugging and kissing Mello for the thousandth time, she and my father got right to work with making food. Even in an old home that once belonged to squatters, the woman took a whole four hours to make it her own. It was amazing how fast this woman could work.

Soon enough, once we were settled, the questions came flowing forth upon Mello.

With so many of us there, it was hard for Mihael to keep up. But he did manage to answer all of our questions.

"What was it like out there?" Connie asked. "Where _exactly_ were you living?"

"Haven," Mello answered. "It's on the border of an unnamed mass of trees where a clearing was made for training. We'll be setting up your training grounds to look like it enough so we can train you the same way we were trained."

"But what about the titans?" Sasha asked. "Didn't they try to destroy any of it?"

He shook his head. "They couldn't. They would have had to tread through salty air and water that clung to the trees." He then jolted slightly and looked into his pack that he'd brought with him. "Speaking of which… Armin, come here."

I blinked before stepping forward and sitting beside him on the couch. What on earth was he planning here?

The man smiled at me. "While I was in Haven," he turned his body to me, his hands enclosing something, "I found a place for you to visit. You can't see it from the walls because it's just beyond the forests, but it's a place I promised to take you since we were kids. I can't take you there now, but I brought something back from there that I hope will suffice until I do take you there."

He then handed me a crystalized vial of water and I was taken back by the scent that emanated from it. It was… salty, but sweet. It stung my nose but filled my lungs with something invigorating and new. It was something completely and utterly enchanting, and I now wished to forever be engulfed in it.

Mihael smiled as I took the vial from him. "The pendant should keep you safe from titans, but I wanted to bring you back something to keep your hopes up. Fresh from the sea itself."

I jumped at this. "Y-you're kidding me… it's actually…"

"Scooped it up myself. I used it as a pendant to keep me safe on hunts for a year or two, but I think it'd be better if you had it. The crystal keeps the smell from dissipating so you'll always be carrying the sea with you."

I had no words to describe how incredible this gift was, so I merely jumped into a hug with him and thanked him a thousand times over. Mello happily hugged me back and I prayed to myself that this hug never ended.

When it did, however, and Mello had to leave to help with cooking – because he couldn't be doted upon for even a moment – everyone started to marvel at the water in the vial.

"I can't believe it." Eren whispered. "It's real. The sea is real!"

"Do you think he'll take us to see it?!" Connie asked.

Jean only huffed. "I doubt it. Not while they're here to train us anyway. Still, to know it exists, a body of water larger than even titans themselves, it'd be a marvel to find."

"And we'll get to see it." I reassured. "As soon as this mess is over with I know we'll get to see it for ourselves!"

"Armin, you're dreaming again." Jean replied. "That vial is as good as you're gonna get…"

I stood up and faced the brunette. "You don't know my brother. When he promises something, he fights until the end of the earth to get it for me."

He got closer to me now. "Like how he promised he'd always be there?"

This broke me slightly before Eren pushed him away from me. "Say that again and you won't live to fight another titan again."

Jean merely rolled his eyes before making his exit. "Whatever, enjoy your feast... it'll be the last one you have before going back into training."

The door slammed and everyone just rolled their eyes.

"Forget him." Sasha replied to me. "Anyone who knows your family knows that Mello has never gone back on a promise. Your dad always talks about him being the most honest of your family."

"Yeah, and Jean is just a prick." Connie reassured. "He doesn't like the attention to be off of him too much and you know it."

I did know that, but it didn't stop the words from hurting. Mello had always promised to be there for me when I needed him, and yet where was he? Living a life out of the walls like we'd always dreamed? Training by the sea that I dreamed of for so long?

I hugged the crystal to my chest and grit away the negative thoughts.

Mello didn't mean to do any of that. He hadn't meant to leave me and break his promise. It was all just an accident. But now he was home, and he'd thought about me enough to bring the sea along with him. To reassure me that my dreams could be a reality, and that it'd be waiting for me just a few miles away. Mello would keep his promise. I believed he would.

I trusted my older brother.

I sat back down on the couch, still keeping my treasure close to me. "You're right. All Jean wants is attention. So let's forget him and just be happy."

They all agreed to this happily and right as I put the pendant on we were called for dinner.

And, for the first time in five years, it felt like home once again.


	26. Chapter 26

_**A/N:**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, review are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

It'd been a while since I last went through my grandfather's library, but looking back on the book I was reading now only gave me more hope to see the outside world the same as my brother. He'd told me everything he could about the sea, and even brought me back something to keep the dream alive. But if the sea was real, then so was everything else in my grandfather's book. And with everyone aside from Eren and Mikasa having gone back to the barracks, I decided to read up on what I could about the outside world yet again.

Books and literature containing information about the outside world were considered heretic and banned from public view, but that didn't stop my family from hiding away all the information they had away from the soldier's eyes. And why would they have even suspected my father? The man was a decorated war hero and trusted in the public eye. They wouldn't think for a moment, despite his beliefs, that he contained illegal knowledge of what lay beyond the walls. Him and my grandfather kept it all secret, but allowed us kids to go through them and read what we could. So long as we didn't preach about it or show it around to anyone, we were safe. I broke both those rules – sharing the book with Eren and preaching about how there _could_ be more out there if we were willing to look – and it did indeed get me into trouble.

But not as much as we'd believed…

…

…not as much as my brother.

Mihael had gotten into the most trouble however, and had once been taken in by the military for questioning. I believed it was a year or two before the fall of Shiganshina, and I remember being there when they arrested him. I'd ran back home to grab my father and tell him about everything and the man was furious. He immediately took action and got Mihael out of their grasp within two days. Although… he didn't make it out completely unscathed.

I remember the bruises like they were still fresh on his skin. He walked out with his head held high and a stride in his step, even going as far as spitting on one of the officers boots. He could have been taken away for that one, but not when our father was present. The moment he got home though did the bravado and strength falter. Needless to say, he'd been bedbound for close to a week to heal up once more. Even while heling though he tried to take care of us. We caught him cooking breakfast the morning after his release and our father had to force him back into bed so he could rest.

The thought of his hard-headedness made me smile, catching my brother's attention from his seat in the dining room.

"What's that smile for?" He asked through a mouthful of food.

I looked up from my book and my grin widened. "Remember all the times you got your butt kicked for me, then still went on and made dinner even while your nose was bleeding?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "I protect my family and friends to the death. It's the way I am."

"But you could have died if you didn't rest." I reminded him. "I mean… even after you were arrested and hassled you got up in the morning to make breakfast. How can you just keep getting up after everything that's been thrown at you?! For god sakes, you fell off a fifty metre wall and into a river, coasted off to god knows where, fell into a coma for a month, then you tell that the moment you woke up you ran to come find us!? HOW!?"

He chewed his morsel for a good minute before swallowing and looking down at the plate. "This needs more seasoning."

"Mihael!" I demanded, using his birth name.

He forced down a chuckle before taking another bite. "Well, I'm right." He said before swallowing. "But with two walls having been bashed down I guess there isn't much food or spices around. We may have to go hunting for venison soon."

"Answer me," I demanded, my smile not faltering. Honestly, my brother could deter from any conversation if he wanted, but never with me. I was always persistent.

He smiled back before setting down his fork. "Armin, I didn't know if I was going to live or die after I let go of Matt's hand. All I knew was that I was ready to give my life to save him and make sure you all were taken care of. There are so many times I thought I was going to die, and so many times I begged god to kill me and end the pain. His answer? A big ol' fuck you right to my face. Why? Because I'm not done here yet. I'm not done taking care of you and our family, I'm not done training, and I'm certainly not done living. All I've heard since I've been back is what a miracle it was that I lived through everything. From falling fifty metres into a river, breaking every bone in my body, and to being in a coma for a month only to wake up and immediately go running out and looking for my family. Me… I don't consider it a miracle. I think I'm just too stubborn to call it quits just yet."

"That's an understatement." I muttered, closing my book. "You should have died upon impact when you hit the water. Instead you kept on clinging to life until L found you. I don't think you wanted to die as much as you say you did."

He was quiet for a moment, looking off into another room. It was as if he were contemplating everything that went on while he was under. Like he was trying to remember what exactly went through his mind before he should have died.

"Armin," he spoke softly, not even looking at me, "I was terrified of dying. They call people who commit suicide weak and spineless, but if you think for a moment about taking your own life… think about how you would do it. Shoot yourself? Slit your throat? No… it's messy. Maybe overdose on medicine or jump off the wall. But… would it hurt? I can only answer you this, brother. When I hit the water… I lost everything. My sight, my earing, my smell and breath, _everything_ was gone. I couldn't move my arms, I didn't have any thoughts. I was terrified. _Terrified._ And I wish I could tell you that I prayed, but I couldn't. I wish I could tell you I muttered my last words before going under, but I can't. The only thing I could do was wait in a dark and shrouded mind and feel every part of me grow colder and colder. Until the day I woke up… there was nothing for me. So no, I didn't want to die…

"…but I was prepared to."

I sunk back into my chair and forced down the tears. The way he described death… how close he'd been… it scared me immensely. Even when I _had_ contemplated suicide over losing Eren to the bearded titan, I hesitated slightly. It took Mikasa to keep me from doing anything rash. After I told Eren about this, he'd hugged me and pleaded that I never think about it again so I promised him that I wouldn't. But Mihael… he'd witnessed death first hand.

I had to ask him.

I looked up and into his eyes. "When you got arrested back in Shiganshina… what did they do to you before Da…?"

"That's none of your business." He interrupted. "It's over and done with, end of story."

"Tell me, Mihael!" I begged. "The night after you were freed you screamed in your sleep and begged for mercy, so I know something went on!"

"Something _did_ happen, Armin, but I've forgotten it." He said as he stood from his seat, grabbing his plate. "And you should too."

He made for the water basin and began to clean his dish, but I wouldn't let him get out of this one.

"Mihael, tell me what happened." I demanded. "What did they do? Did they torture you? Humiliate you? What on earth…?!"

"Stop!" He demanded in a stern voice, facing me once again. "It's none of your business, now drop it!"

"It is my business if I know you got hurt!" I replied, standing up. "Now tell me!"

He glared at me for a good minute before shaking his head and looking away. The look of anger and malic in his eyes intensified.

"Armin, I'm glad you became a soldier." He admitted offhandedly. "At least I know you. And at least you have decency and heart. There are some people who revel in others pain, and there are some who don't care if you beg and plead for compassion or even pity." He then paused, his jaw tightening. "And then there are some who revel in causing pain. When they hit and beat on others and it makes them feel like some kind of god or something. After years of peace and low crime people start to crave action. They start to crave wanting to hurt something. These kind of people are monsters, but there's no getting rid of them. They're sick and demented, and they get off on watching you plead for your life.

"I wouldn't give them that release. I wouldn't beg for my life, I wouldn't scream after they hit me. I spat in their faces, I bit them when they got too close. Hell, I think I even tore off someone's finger. But when someone fights back, the punishment is worse.

"Heretic had been something called me, I think." He continued, crossing his arms and looking up to the ceiling in thought. "They called me preachy and annoying as well. Then they smacked me and ordered for me to take it back. I called one of them a piece of horse shit and they smacked me once again. When I wouldn't comply and I laughed in their faces, they hit me with a staff to knock me out. I was chained to a wall and the real torture began."

I had to sit down again when I saw his face contort to something that resembled pure rage. I'd seen Mello angry before, but this was something completely new.

He looked down at me and his nostrils flared. "You remember when you asked me why those soldiers all used to hit on me? Remember when I'd talk back to them and smack their filthy hands away?"

I nodded.

His eyes narrowed. "Well, you're old enough to know the truth. They wanted me because word got out to them that I'd been sleeping about with a few of them. But that was a lie. The truth is they took me without my consent and threw me away like a used towel. They didn't know who I was because I chose to have a different last name than you, so they did what they wanted with me. No suspensions or punishment for them because no one knew that they were doing this to me. Not until father got involved.

"When they did find out who I was, who my father was and what he'd learned, there was no room for them anymore."

I felt my whole body go numb at this and it felt like my heart stopped. "So that's why you hated them so much."

He nodded. "Because they get to do whatever they want without repercussion. Because the Garrison misused their power in order to get what they wanted. It didn't have to be rape either. It was blood money, or abuse. If they got bored, they got either of two things; Drunk, or rich. Sometimes both."

He then sat down at the table next to me. "This attack was disastrous, but it showed us many things. One: That the Garrison knew shit about titans. Two: That things can change at the drop of a hat. And Three: That there can still be hope for humanity yet."

He patted my shoulder. "Don't waste your time as a soldier, brother. A single grain of rice can tip the scale you know. And so one soldier may be the difference between victory and defeat."

I nodded to him before relaxing in my seat. "I'm sorry for making you bring that up. I shouldn't have-"

"Don't worry about it. Like I said, it's in the past now. I was only in there for two days anyway. A while more and maybe I'd have cracked, but I was pretty emotionless through it all." He then shrugged. "Well… up until I was being felt up by a fat old cocksucker from the Utopia district. Bastard was only in town for a few hours and I had all the luck in the world to find him in my cell. I'm not sorry for what happened to him."

"What'd you do?" I asked in interest.

"Dug my heel into his crotch and nearly ripped it off. I wasn't getting fucked over by that greasy pig." He said triumphantly before standing up again. "I never found out if he still lived after that."

I blinked in surprise. "How are you not rotting in jail right now?"

"A pretty face like mine rotting in jail?" He said favourably. "Come on, brother, even you know keeping _me_ locked up would be a sin."

"You _are_ a sin." I replied before standing up with him. "More than half the population is talking about the 'heretic who braved titan territory'."

"It's not heresy if I have proof. And the proof is my companions."

"You mean the two jacked up giants, the gnome with white hair, the runaways, and the frog-man?" I retorted. "If anything, they're proof god doesn't exist, or cares about us."

"What happened to, 'We're all made in his image'?" He replied.

I thought for a moment before smiling at the comeback. "Touché."

After sharing a laugh we went to the common room to check on our sleeping visitors. Eren and Mikasa were both passed out on the floor while Matt was reading from one of the books we'd had from our illegal library.

The red head looked up to smile at us. "And here are the heretics now."

"Oh shut it," Mihael replied to him, leaning over the back of the couch to kiss his cheek. "Come outside for a moment, I need to speak with you."

"Uh oh," he muttered, "That's never a good thing."

A smack to the head from the blonde made him giggle before he followed him to the backyard in order to speak.

I sat down on the couch with my book and grinned to myself.

It's like nothing's changed." I whispered. "Like he never left us for five years."

I leaned back in my seat and stared up at the ceiling. "But now what?"

* * *

 **(Matt P.O.V)**

"So what's up, beautiful?" I asked the blonde.

He responded with a deep and passionate kiss, backing me up into the wall of the house before breaking away and saying, "Can't I be alone with you for a few hours?"

I smiled warmly at the man before bringing him into my arms. "You could simply ask next time."

"Not with Armin in the room." He reasoned.

"The boy's fifteen close to sixteen. You really think he hasn't thought about sex yet?"

He slapped me lightly before crossing his arms. "My little brother is a saint and hasn't been tarnished yet by anyone else."

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "Have you seen the way Jean looks at him?"

He seemed taken aback by this. "Jean? Don't you mean Eren?"

Now I was confused. "No, I mean that hot head Jean. You know, light brown hair, kinda looks like a disfigured horse's mane. He's always looking at Armin out of the corner of his eye. I noticed it right after his salute to Kitts Woerman. The guy used to have an eye for Mikasa but since she's always looking after Eren it's no wonder he gave up on her."

The look in his eyes said it all. Confusion and worry mixed with intrigue. "Does Armin know?"

I merely shrugged. "Don't know. I know that he knows Eren likes him, but neither know about Jean giving him these looks."

Mello shook his head. "I'm too sure you're reading him wrong. Besides, Armin told me he just stormed out of the house like a little child. The guy probably has issues."

I hummed at this. "Maybe… but I guess it doesn't matter. What matters now," I exclaimed, picking up the blonde in my arms bridal style, "is that we have an old greenhouse in this backyard awaiting us."

Mello giggled at my overconfidence. "Really? A greenhouse?"

"I'd take you inside, but I don't want to wake the others. Besides, as far as your father's concerned, you and I are still 'gentlemen'."

The blonde rolled his eyes at this. "Are you going to keep talking or can we get to it?"

"Five years without my touch was too much?" I asked, carrying him to the greenhouse, nibbling a bit on his neck.

He hummed in response, cuddling in closer. "I kept my mind occupied. Try to remember though that I won't be this forgiving in training."

"So you're training senior members as well?" I replied, pushing the door to our destination open with my back.

Once I set him down he made his way to a table and sat atop it expectantly. "You're not a senior member, Matt. I believe I heard you ditched the Corps after receiving a medal of honour."

I grumbled at that before making my way to him, kissing his neck upon getting close to him. "And where'd you hear this?"

Before we could continue further he brought out a dirtied and rusted medal, holding it up to my face.

"I have my sources."

I looked at the medal for a moment before turning away disgustedly. This didn't go unnoticed by Mello.

"Why are you ashamed of it?" He asked. "You deserved it…"

"I didn't deserve it, and looking at it reminded me of the moment I lost you!" I interrupted. "I loved you, and yet I wasn't strong enough to save you from the fall!"

"Your arm was shattered, Matt." He reminded me. "The fact that you held on at all, then went on to kill a myriad of titans is something incredible. I was so proud of you…"

"But I didn't save _you_." I choked out. "I had you right there in my hand and I couldn't hold on long enough to save you. It broke my heart to tell your parents, and it shattered it when they forgave me. I wanted them to kill me or tell me I was scum! I wanted them to hate me because you'd fallen to your death and…"

I was cut off with a pair of lips on my own. My whole heart welling up in love and sadness. I'd missed these lips on my own, and I'd missed the feeling that rose in my chest whenever I was near the person they were attached to.

God how I'd missed Mello.

We broke apart and the blonde leaned his head against mine. "I'm so sorry, Matt. I should have come home right away."

I shook my head. "No, it's best that you were out there and away from all this hectic nonsense. The recon mission, the drafting, and the new cadets. It killed me to see Armin join in on the fighting, but I couldn't stop him. I wanted to fight and protect him as well, but I kept thinking I'd lose him along with you. I was so scared…" I drifted off, unable to speak through the fearful tears.

The blonde hugged me close. "There's nothing to be scared of anymore, Matt. You knew this even before I came back. That's why you saved Armin from Kitts."

"You… you know about that?"

He nodded. "Thank you for keeping your promise. It means the world to me."

He pulled me away and wiped the tears from my face. "I love you, Matt."

I grinned at him, revelling in his beautiful blue eyes. "I love you too, Mels."

And no more words were spoken. We locked lips and didn't come back up for air for a long time. I think I was too afraid to let him go. As smart and as strong as he was now, I still felt the need to hold on to him so I could make sure he wouldn't disappear… so he wouldn't fall.

Tomorrow he'd begin training the troops yet again. Yes, I'd graduated already, and it'd been years ago, but I still felt that I should be there to help out the others. Lord only knows what Mello would train them all to do, but by the looks of him currently, I'd say he'd do something right by them.

Mello hadn't changed much. His body was still thin, his eyes and hair still vivid to the naked eye. What changed was his spirit. He was stronger in heart and mind, and I could tell he was slightly more toned on the outside as well. I didn't care if was stronger than me though. I didn't care that he was trained to be a better soldier than me. What mattered was that he was alive and kicking.

And this time… I wouldn't let go of him.


	27. Chapter 27

_**A/N: Short chapter to get you guys pumped up for the next one. :)**_

 ** _That and I'm lazy. :P_**

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, reviews are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

We'd already technically graduated from training about a week ago, still not having truly chosen a group to be part of, so getting back into the routine of training every day would not be too difficult. The only thing was… we all worried about how different this kind of training would be.

We met in the grounds where we'd all trained beforehand. The crowd that had once filled the fields in close to hundreds now only had a select few. Among those that I knew, other than Myself, Eren, and Mikasa, there was also Connie, Sasha, Jean, Krista, Reiner, Bertolt, Annie, Ymir, and Samuel from the hundred and fourth trainee's squad. There had been a few others to join us, others from the trainee days, but none that I'd befriended. I also took notice of the newer cadets in the back being trained to… well… replace _us_ should anything go wrong in the near future.

But they weren't Mello's concern.

Those of us that were close stuck together in a line, making sure to get a good view before we were addressed.

"So," Sasha said nervously, "um… do you think I'll have to run laps again?"

Connie huffed a laugh at this. "Only if you got another potato hiding in that jacket of yours."

Her eyes shifted away from us and we all rolled our eyes. Of course she had food on her.

I took a breath. "I'm sure Mello won't push us too hard. He knows what we went through in our training days, I told him myself. He has more compassion than that."

"Compassion doesn't get anyone trained, blondie." Jean replied haughtily. "It's all disciplinary. But I guess you'll get a better wrap than we will. Seeing as how you're the commander's brother and all."

I grinned slyly at the brunette. "Of course. Which means you'll be taking my laps for me. All I have to do is ask."

Before he could retort there came a call from one of the commanders and we lined up properly, saluting as we did so.

"Trainees!" Came the voice from Commander Shadis. "You're back for training once more! But _this_ time around, it will be for elite status! This training will begin at…!"

"Shadis!" Came another, more fear inducing voice. "Shut your howling screamer and back away from my troops! THAT'S AN ORDER!"

I could feel the fear resonate through the crowd as we all looked up to find a tall blonde stand atop the roof to the showers. This was not the Mihael I was used to seeing.

No… this was Mello.

The commander backed off immediately and it was now Mello's turn to speak.

"Soldiers," he began, his voice booming, "I am not here to make you my friend. I am not here to make you my partner. I am here to make you and ally. On this path we walk down to save humanity, I will not hold your hand like a mother would their child. I will not lead you like a Shepard with his sheep. You will walk beside me as a soldier by the end of your training, or you will die a sheep. The choice is yours." He paused for a moment, pacing back and forth. "Furthermore, I will not tolerate laziness! If you are considered lazy and uncooperative, I will take action! And no, it won't be the little spankings your grandmothers or parents gave you, this will be capital punishment where you live to tell the tale! I will not allow my troops to become slovenly pigs and loaf around like animals! You are here to train, so train you will!"

I heard Jean chuckle at this to himself before gathering up his stoic face once more. A slight and cocky grin still on his lips.

Mello caught this right away.

He jumped down from his spot and stormed over to the brunette. "Something you want to say soldier!?"

Blue eyes met hazel ones and I could see Jean's smile disappear. "N-no sir."

"Excuse me?"

"NO SIR!" He repeated louder.

"Did I say something funny to you?!"

"NO SIR!"

"It sure looked like you were laughing at something! Tell me, what was so funny to you!"

He hesitated for a moment before swallowing down his fear. "Erm… the thought of pigs in uniform, sir."

Mello crosses his arms. "Pigs in uniform? Are you saying something about your fellow comrades!?"

He shook his head in worry. "No- NO SIR!"

"It sure sounded like you were!"

"SIR, NO SIR!" He repeated.

"I believe this calls for a punishment for insulting your fellow officers!"

I could feel the tension in the crowd lessen when we all thought Jean would have to run laps until day turned to night.

But instead.

"Everyone but Kirstein on the ground, now!"

We all looked at each other in disbelief before doing as ordered.

"Twenty push-ups, let's go!" He commanded.

Everyone but Jean did as ordered with venom in each movement. This was incredibly unfair to us!

I watched as Jean smiled before chuckling, and Mello caught this.

"So you think this is funny." The blonde spoke to the boy before calling out again. "Forty push-ups!"

Groans filled the field as we continued on.

Jean covered his mouth before looking at the blonde and seeing Mello's glare become venomous.

"I have to say, best punishment ever!" He dared to say.

Mello nodded as he grinned. "You think so, eh? Well look around, Jean. No one else is enjoying it. And do you know what happens when more than enough people are pissed off at an individual?"

The realization hit Jean like a brick, but Mello still spelled it out for him.

He grabbed the boy's jacket and pulled him in close. "I'm not your friend here, Kirstein. I'm not your brother, I'm not your father, and I'm certainly not your mother. I won't protect you from other soldiers should they choose to do anything to you. Your life alone is not worth protecting, and if you can't work alongside others… then you're a dead man." He threw him to the ground as we finished up our punishment for him. "Don't smile in my presence again."

Once everyone was done with the 'punishment', more than enough people glaring Jean's way, Mello got right back to speaking with all of us as a group.

"You've now been given a proper demonstration of my training! And you have also learned two valuable lessons for life. Number one; there is ALWAYS strength in numbers. And secondly; one life alone is not worth protecting, so we must fight for something bigger than one person alone!" He then turned to all of us, his back straight and hands behind his back. "Humanity is much more than one person alone, but it's still only a fraction of what you can fight for! In time you will have a purpose to fight, but for now you must take the time to find out what it is you are indeed fighting for!" He paused once more to take a breath for himself. "The body count from Trost was high. We lost many citizens and soldiers to the titans. We've retaken Trost thanks to the help of our remaining soldiers, but one win alone cannot let you forget the bigger picture in front of you.

"Humanity, for as long as we can remember, has had to overcome many obstacles. Some bigger than others. And all throughout history have people laid down their lives for the greater good that is our future. And so now it is our turn… and so was it the turns of our fellow comrades. But do not weep for them, my soldiers for your tears can wait. Instead, seek to avenge their deaths. Seek to lay their spirits at rest while they follow you into battle! Remember their voices and words of courage and fearlessness! Remember what they meant to you and everything they'd done! Remember how they lay their lives on the battlefield for others to live on in prosperity! Remember to _honour_ their sacrifice and never forget how they bravely set off against their enemy, no matter who it may be! To live is an adventure, comrades, but to die is an even greater adventure! To die is to know bravery! To die is to know sacrifice! To DIE for others, and others for YOU is an honour only the greater of us will know!

"So raise your blades and cut them free from the torment and let them pass on! Allow them to know that their sacrifice will not be forgotten! And that we as HUMANITY, will prevail!"

A cheer rang out through the field as people raised their blades in a sort of salute to the man who now led us onward. From senior members, to newbies, to us and even a few commanding officers cheered as if we were going into battle for a final time.

It was a glorious sight to behold.

Mello grinned at the enthusiasm as he crossed his arms. When he caught sight of me, he gave me a look that could only scream, "Let the training begin."


	28. Chapter 28

_**A/N:**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, reviews are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Eren P.O.V)**

"Pick it up, Yeager!" The blonde demanded. "I know you're a shifter, so I know you still got legs, and plenty more to grow back if you lose 'em! NOW MOVE IT!"

I picked up the pace and jumped for the bars to swing on one to the other. I could feel my heart caving in and burning with each movement. I knew training was difficult, but Mello was making it impossible! He pushed us to the edge and more than a few of us looked as if we were about to cave in and give up.

But the blonde wouldn't allow it.

The training course his companions set up we had to complete in under a minute. He said it was possible, having done it himself, but I was beginning to believe he was just doing this for his own entertainment.

Surprisingly, Sasha finished the course first and was sent to the mess hall for food by one of Mello's female companions.

The man addressed all of us now. "Blouse has completed the course! The rest of you should start picking it up!"

Mikasa then announced that she too was finished. But when Mello looked to one of his companions, a larger man with light coloured hair shook his head.

"Ackerman, your time was exactly one minute." He replied. "The goal is to get to _under_ a minute. Keep going!"

And, with a little hesitation, she continued on. It was a good try on her part, but sadly these people were twice as strict as our former commanders. They demanded perfection in the largest.

And so perfection we'd give them.

"Kirstein has completed the course!" Mello suddenly called out. "Pick it up!"

I growled. Jean had to have cheated somehow, I just knew it.

Right as I landed at the end of the course and was about to run back to keep going…

"Yeager has completed the course!"

I looked back in amazement before trudging over towards the superiors. I honestly didn't know how they were keeping time of all this, but it amazed me to no end. It was almost like they all had this internal clock within that counted every second in the day with each person. It was incredible!

Right as I got to the superiors they announced Mikasa had completed the course and she soon joined me.

Of course she finished it after me.

Mello spoke to the remaining soldiers. "Tell you what, sweethearts, if one of you finishes this course in under forty-five seconds I'll personally make sure you rations are doubled for the evening!"

The pace picked up considerably with Connie and Samuel fighting for the lead. The only ones not picking up the pace were Annie and Armin. Annie I knew just didn't care and wanted this to be over with in her own pace, but Armin I could tell was losing his spirit. His head was low and his pace slowing down. I could even hear the superiors whispering about him and his time getting longer.

"Arlert!" Mello called. "Pick up the pace or you'll be here all night!"

I was unsure the blonde heard him before he I saw him pick up his pace and found the lead with Connie and Samuel. After a few tries, and a lot of work, Mello finally announced he completed the course and sent him on his way. The look in Armin's eyes made me feel terrible for completing the course before him. He was tired and run down now, his eyes puffy from tearing up a bit. I suppose he wasn't used to hearing his brother yell at him like this but it was a sacrifice he had to make.

We all made it into the mess hall where food was being served for us for our completed training of the morning. But there was still one last thing we need to go through in the afternoon. Something Mello was keen on keeping secret until it came around.

We sat down at a table after receiving our food and I happily gorged on the morsels given to me. Mello, thankfully, was not about to starve us to death for this training, but he made it very clear that we had to earn each mouthful we got. So, after breakfast, we were sent into the course without a second thought. The food we were given now would have to be paid for in blood and sweat as well.

We finished eating our food first before speaking to one another.

"And here I thought training would be _easier_ for me." Armin admitted. "If anything Mello's harsher than anyone."

Mikasa nodded at this. "It only means he's a good commander…"

"No," came Jean's reply from another table, "it means he's a sadist!"

"Excuse me Kirstein!?" Came the familiar voice. "I didn't hear that too well!"

We all glared at Jean venomously. If we had to run laps for that bastard he'd get more than a threat from us. I just about knocked him off his chair this morning for his little show yesterday with the blonde.

Thankfully though…

Mello pointed out to the course. "I want that course done in thirty seconds! MOVE IT!"

The man jumped to his feet and started running. Everyone was either smiling or giggling at the fear he had carved on his face.

Mello didn't appreciate this though.

"If you all think it's so funny then you can join him!"

We all immediately lowered our heads in fear before he crossed his arms and looked around.

"I didn't think so." He replied to our silence before exiting.

After a sigh of relief we got to talking once more.

"He's cold, man!" Sasha whispered as Connie joined us with Samuel. "I've never seen someone more brutal than him!"

"He can still hear you, Sasha." Armin replied, resting his head in the crook of his elbow. "He just chooses to let it slide."

"Your brother's going to kill us, blondie!" Connie replied as he sat down beside Sasha with his food. "He's insane!"

"He demands perfection." Mikasa defended. "With perfection comes work."

Right as we'd begun to debate with her we heard a horn sound off and we were commanded to follow one of Mello's companions to the other side of the training grounds. When we got there, we all immediately noticed the tall post, taller than the wall itself, with a blade sticking out at the top.

I could almost guess what we'd be commanded to do next.

Mello gestured to the post. "This will be your test to prove which of you will move on to a higher training. It proves as a map to your goals and destination." He pointed to the top. "The blade is your goal, whatever your goal may personally be. It is your purpose for fighting. And the post is your trials in order to get to your goals. You cannot skip past the work in order to reach your goals."

Jean, being ever so clever, huffed in amusement and said, "This will be cake. Grab the blade and come down."

Mello grinned at the boy facetiously. "You think? Well then, why not give it a try for yourself?"

The brunette stepped forward and cracked his knuckles. "Let's do this!"

"Oh! Hold on!" Mello stopped him in a kinder voice. "You're forgetting two most important pieces of the puzzle!"

He then brought out a smaller box and opened it up to bring out two stone rings that hung by a strip of leather each.

He turned Jean to face us and looped a ring to his wrist. "This will represent your strength!" Then looped the other one on his other hand. "And this will be your discipline. Both of them you need to reach your goals." He then backed up and gave the brunette some room. "Now, retrieve the blade."

The guy huffed a laugh once again before grabbing on to the post and beginning his climb. However, the higher he got the more energy it took. I could see he was struggling about halfway up and even slipped a few times.

I heard a chuckle come from beside me and saw a larger, bald man standing beside Mello with a shit eating grin.

"Timber." He whispered, causing Mello to glare.

As he predicted, Jean slipped and fell to the ground below him but was caught by the blonde commander before he could get hurt.

Once he was set on the ground, Mello addressed the rest of us. "You will do this exercise once a day until it's done correctly from one individual. If you fail, you're done with it for the day. If you succeed, we'll take you – and whoever else witnessed you – into a higher training. Thirty laps around the fields after this, then you will report to the barracks."

"But it's still early…" Connie began before getting a smack to the head by Sasha.

Of course, this caught Mello's attention.

"Blouse, you're next."

And soon I was after her.

Then Mikasa…

…then Armin…

…and so on and so forth.

Each of us failed miserably.

The weights were heavy, this was true, but since we'd already gotten the strength from our trainee days, it didn't hurt us to carry them too much. But up on the post it proved to weigh us down more than we let on. The worst part about it though was having to be caught after falling as if it was fact that we'd all fall the first time. Annie was not pleased about it either, even going as far as smacking Mello away when he tried to help her up. When she realized her mistake she apologized, and Mello accepted it without consequence.

It was only then that I realized why we'd been getting a hard time.

Mihael demanded respect from us, and as far as we treated him as lesser or higher than what he was, we were not on his good side. When Annie apologized on her own and gave him the respect she thought he deserved, she didn't get punished for her abuse. There was a lot more to this training than was let on I guess.

We finished our laps, after our humiliating display at the post, by the fall of evening and soon made our way towards the barracks. Each of us too tired to really speak.

It wasn't until we got to the barracks did we notice the faint strumming of a guitar from up above us. When we looked up to the roofs we were instantly taken back to the times before the fall as we watched Mihael strum his guitar in peace of his own thoughts. Matt sat beside him, relaxed and falling into slumber.

Others joined us and listened in on the playing. I guess they were feeling the same thing we were. Happiness, peace, calmness, and a wash of tranquility. The quiet little strums, the plucking and practiced verses, and a slight humming come from the man that made us feel like we were home again. Like nothing had changed and we were right back in the square with our parents enjoying the beautiful music.

I suppose no everything changed about Mello.

I felt Armin rest his head on my shoulder and hum. "He's still the same as ever. Tough but caring."

I hugged him closer to me and placed a hidden kiss on his head. "He'll never change completely. He has too much to keep him from changing."

Mello glanced over to the group of people watching him play and smiled warmly. "Music is the gateway to the soul. Without it there is nothing to keep us sane. It comes from everywhere, from the cry of wolves, to the small chirping of birds and crickets. Surround yourself in music and your nerves will calm for what's to come." He then paused, still continuing his playing though, "The best music out of anywhere though, is the beat of your own heart. If you listen to it long enough, you will marvel at how in tune it is with other sounds around you, maybe even another's heart as well."

He then looked down at all of us, handing over the guitar to Matt who jolted awake.

He stepped down from the roofs and addressed all of us in a much calmer voice.

"The training you receive is exactly the training I had to go through. I will not treat you all differently because you've come from training already. In fact, I will demand more from you because you already _know_ the hardships of training in a military. Along with this, I also demand respect as your supposed commander, and future brother in battle. As well, you should at least treat each other in the same regard as you would were this the last day on earth. With respect and dignity, no matter how much tension there was in the past." He directed the last part to me.

He turned from us and headed to the barracks where the trainers slept. "Tomorrow we begin a new day. And a new day after that. Until this week is done you will receive differences in training and work, then the week will repeat. Am I understood?"

"Yes sir!" Came the reply from everyone.

He nodded. "Good. And should anyone have any questions or concerns, please see me when you can. I'm always open to speak to."

We responded with another 'yes sir' before heading off to the barracks once more.

I heard Connie chuckle. "I haven't heard a guitar in forever."

"Mihael played it all the time when we were in Shiganshina." Armin said happily. "I guess he didn't want us to forget about music while we were here."

"He has odd training tactics." Annie replied. "But he's fairer than other commanders I've met."

"He cares about us." I spoke in defence of him. "More than he lets on. He just has his own way of showing it."

I heard Jean grumble slightly. "I still think he's sadistic."

"I CAN STILL HEAR YOU, KIRSTEIN!" Came a faraway reply from the man in the trainer building.

Jean sighed before huffing out a laugh to himself. "I hope you can blondie."

"Are you trying to get killed?" Armin asked with a soft chuckle.

We heard a hum of amusement from above and realized Matt hadn't left the roof yet.

"Armin, you know as well as I do that Mello wouldn't kill him." The red head replied. "But he may have some chores for him to do in the morning."

Jean only waved off the man and entered into the barracks. "Whatever, I'll do them. I'm too tired to argue anyway."

Matt chuckled. "We'll see how you feel tomorrow."

I worried about that last sentence until dinner was served. Something about felt like he knew what was going to happen to us.

Well… it couldn't be any worse than today...

…right?


	29. Chapter 29

_**A/N:**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, reviews are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

"Balance, young soldiers, is the key to winning in any battle." Mello said calmly as he paced before us. "With a titan or on a hunt, balance is key. Think for a moment what it'd be like without it. When there is no night to the day, no summer to the winter, and no rain along with sunshine. What would happen should there be no balance?"

Sasha answered this. "There wouldn't be life."

The man nodded. "Exactly. Too much day and we would cook under the sun, no rain and the plants would die, and no summer would mean we'd freeze to death. There is balance in everything, including your partnerships."

He then grabbed a handful of thin ropes and tossed one to Connie. "Springer, you're partnered with Ymir." Then continued on from there.

Eren was partnered to Krista,

Mikasa to Bertolt,

Annie to Sasha,

Reiner to Samuel,

…

…and myself to Jean.

Our wrists were tired to one another by Mihael, a cheeky smile on his face. Once he was through with that he backed off towards his companions, Matt included, who each stood there with a pale of rocks and pebbles.

Mello then spoke up once more. "Balance can come from the trust of a partner… but you have to earn that trust." He picked up a pebble from one of the pales. "Consider these your reason to trust one another. If you can dodge these, then you can dodge titans."

"W-wait a minute!" Connie stopped him. "How are we supposed to dodge anything while tied to someone else?!"

Mello kindly tossed the pebble over to the man and stood at attention. "Go ahead and try, Springer. I promise you, I won't get hurt."

The guy hesitated for a moment before rearing back his arm and throwing the pebble with all his might. The stone heading right for Mihael's face…

…but never making contact.

Matt had graciously taken Mello by the hand and pulled him out of harm's way and into his embrace. Mello barely even blinked at the action. He merely took it with thanks and watched the pebble fly by his head.

We all murmured in amazement at the feat before Mello straightened himself up and addressed us once more.

"You will rely on your partner to keep you from harm, and build trust with them. I matched you up with unlikely pairings for a reason, and to the best of my knowledge you all have more in common than you let on. _Finding_ that common ground will be your next task. But first…" he picked up a pebble, "THINK FAST!"

The rock sailed through the air at an alarming speed towards Annie but Sasha pulled her away at the last moment, effectively saving her some head trauma.

The blonde female looked slightly stunned at how fast Sasha reacted but thanked her silently in her own little way.

Before the stone throwing could truly begin though there came a whinnying of horses trotting through the gates as a few from the Survey Corps suddenly made an appearance. A few I recognized, but none I was really interested in at the moment.

Aside from them, I could also see Light and my father make an entrance to the training grounds wearing their uniforms. They seemed interested in the training we were conducting in.

Light chuckled at the predicament we were in. "Aw, are we holding hands and singing prayers?"

Before he could laugh any more a stone hit his nose straight on and the rest of us had to bite down our laughs. Surprisingly, it wasn't Mello who threw the stone.

It'd been L.

"And why is someone from the garrison here in training?" He asked heatedly. "Shouldn't you be sucking some commander's arse?"

A low 'ooh' rang out among us and Light got personal now.

"We're here to make a routine check to make sure everyone's alright." He growled out, blood slowly dripping from his nose. "And you'd better not assault your commanding officer again, or it'll be the titans you'll have to deal with."

"I left the military because the titans were too _easy_ to deal with. But I guess a little cadet like you wouldn't know that would you? The last titan you probably dealt with was your own mother."

Another ooh rang out and we were all enraptured by the display now. Even Mello was getting a kick out of this.

Light flared his nostrils before poking his finger into L's chest. "At least I _have_ parents."

The entire crowd of us were downright shocked at the insult but nearly laughed at the low blow. It certainly was uncalled for, but if the two were keen on going at each other's necks then I guess they had no better choice than to throw insults at each other.

L didn't seem too fazed. He even grinned wickedly.

"Well, I may not have parents, but at least I have an army of my own. And I did it without sucking arse to anyone from the higher ups. Tell me, is there a permanent smell of shit in your nose or have you just gotten used to it?"

This was thoroughly enjoying now. I'd never seen a scrap between two grown men before, but they both acted so childishly it was amazing they were our superiors. I'd known Light for a very long time, and when I first met L I thought he was just eccentric. But these two together! It was like watching a stage show!

The two went back and forth for a bit before each started pushing the other. When it looked like it would become a full blown fist fight Mello stepped in to help…

…but not in the way we thought he would.

With the rattle of a chain we heard two cuffs link on to either of their wrists and the fighting silenced. It'd been a long chain, yes, but the fact that they were linked together in the same way that we were was priceless!

They watched in abject horror as Mello took the key to their cuffs and swallowed it whole, effectively making everyone around them laugh at their faces. It truly had been a sight to behold.

Mello then crossed his arms. "As my mentor, L, I'd expect you to show some restrain. I'm not a fan of the military either but I do show some respect for them when deserved. And as for you Light, I demand from you the same respect I give to my mentor as well. You can't act like this and expect for me to stand here and watch you fight like silly children! So, you will spend the next week chained together and learning what each other has to offer."

"Excuse me!" Light said in horror. "You can't expect me to go along with this! What if the titans attack!?"

"Did I say a week? I meant a month." Mello replied happily. "And as for the titans, we'll be able to handle it. Right, troops!"

"Yes sir!" We replied happily.

L just stood there with a look of pain in his eye. "After all I've done for you…"

"And I thank you, L." Mello interrupted. "But even you won't take a child's way of acting sometimes. I have my troops to prepare, and you were keen on distracting them. So please, take a seat and learn with us, or be on your way. And take your boy toy with you."

We held down our snickers and giggles as the two grown men looked over at my father for sympathy.

But again, there was none to be had.

"You heard your commanding officer." He replied and gestured for them to join us. "Together you could learn something you know."

The two glared at one another before begrudgingly joining in on the lesson.

Mello nodded and grinned. He then looked over to one of his larger companions. "Rester, see that each of the groups is tasked with dodging at least ten pebbles or stones. All except L and Light. They have to dodge twenty. I'll take Jean and Armin off to perform another task."

I looked up at Jean who looked back. "Another task?"

He shrugged. "Better than getting pegged with pebbles."

I nodded at this. "Agreed."

When the lesson began we followed Mello out to the rear fields were the post was still there, still with the same blade stuck at the top. It angered me slightly that no one was able to retrieve it yet when it was closer than it appeared, but I guess we just couldn't figure out our goals yet and how to get to them. Still…I'd like to have known what the secret to retrieving the blade was.

Mello stopped us near some crates and barrels of supplies while he went behind one of the walls to the mess hall, sticking a finger down his throat. After the disgusting heaving sounds and an unpleasant odour hitting our noses, Mello came back to us – a cold sweat on his brow – and handed the key to the cuffs to Jean.

"Take it and get rid of it somewhere. Keep the binds on though so the others don't find out I let you ditch this exercise. Be back before noon." He instructed.

Jean looked down at the slightly damp key then back at Mello. "What exactly does this training do for us?"

Mello cocked an eyebrow. "It brings all of us a good show or two."

"But why us?" I asked him.

He punched my arm playfully. "Because you're my brother and I'll give you double rations tonight if you can guarantee it'll never be found."

One look at each other and we were off. I managed to keep up with Jean the entire run to the wall, but only because I had a perfect hiding place for it already. And when asked where we should stash it, I dragged him up to the top of the wall and told him to drop it into the river below. And, without fighting me on it, he did so happily.

The brunette laughed. "I was right, you're brother's a sadist. But hell, at least it's not me this time!"

"You deserved all the times you _were_ his target!" I said angrily, but with a slight smile. "You really don't have any respect for someone like him, do you?"

"Look, Armin…"

"No, _you_ listen to _me_!" I interrupted. "My brother gave his life for me and my family, even before falling from Wall Maria! He cooked for us, he cleaned, he washed and dried, he took care of us since the beginning! Losing him killed a part of me when I find out, and now that he's back I won't allow you to treat him like you do! So stop it, grow up, and show some god damn respect! Lord knows he's a better man than you ever could be anyway!"

The man was silenced. It was hard to imagine, but he'd finally shut his mouth for once and listened to someone else speak. I know he liked attention, but he couldn't have it all the time. So now he had to know that.

I scratched the back of his head before silently apologizing to me. "I'm sorry for upsetting you like that. I know you can be a bit sensitive to a lot of things…"

At this my eyes slit into a glare. I knew this as well as anyone, but I didn't need to be reminded of it.

"…but it's nice to see you so passionate about something for once. You're usually so quiet. I'll stop ragging on your brother, I promise. But… only if you start showing more of _this_ Armin instead of that quiet little friend of Yeager's."

I grumbled at this before dragging him away by the wrist. "You'd be surprised what a lifetime of bullying could do to a kid in his future."

" _You_ were bullied?" He said in shock. "Come on! With a brother like yours!? I'm surprised anyone even spoke to you without getting hurt!"

I huffed. "You really don't know us, do you."

Silenced followed us as we continued our way back to Mello. It was nearly noon now so it was time for food then more training. Once again we'd have to endure the wrath of the post, but then it was laps before quitting time then we could have our dinner and go to bed.

I wasn't in the mood to really eat after what Jean had said though. Something about his disbelief made me think…

…but no. Jean wasn't like that. He always said one thing but meant another. I couldn't read too much into it right now. Not while I was trying to focus on training. Besides, I was much happier with Eren than anyone else. He cared about me, didn't bully me…

…so then… what was this conflicting feeling in my heart?

I shook it away and dragged him further. "Pick up the pace."

He chuckled. "Maybe _you're_ the sadist in your family."

I glared back at him before picking up the pace and ignoring him.

Definitely not my cup of tea.


	30. Chapter 30

_**A/N:**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, reviews are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Matt P.O.V)**

"You know, I'm surprised at you Mello." I spoke up while folding the linen. "You really took to this whole commanding officer role. I woulda thought you'd be terrified of the whole ordeal you had to go through. I mean, aren't you worried about Armin?"

I felt the man shift a bit in nervousness beside me. "Of course I am. But I can't change his mind. The boy wants to be part of something bigger than him and I can't hold him back from that. Still, it worries me to see him here instead of safe at home with our father and mother. I know they can keep him safe better than I ever could. All I ever did was heal the wounds."

"Don't sell yourself short, Mels." I encouraged, bringing him into a side embrace. "You're better for this group than you let on. The Survey Corps were once known as the most elite of the three main assemblies until you came along with your companions. I've never seen anyone take down so many titans in such a short time. And to think that you'll be teaching others this technique will only further our progressions in taking back what belongs to humanity."

The blonde sighed heavily before leaning up against the table where we worked. "But what do we do after getting back the walls?"

"What do you mean?" I questioned, holding his hand.

He looked up at me with sorrow. "I can't go back to living like a caged bird, Matt. For five years I've lived outside the walls and felt the wind on my face and the smell of fresh air in my lungs. I don't intend to give that up, but if my family is staying here… if you're staying here…"

"I'll go with you," I promised, grasping at his shoulders. "Mello, I won't lose you again. And as for your family… they can come with us. We'll have a whole new life by the sea, and…"

"Matt, it's treason." He explained. "Armin is part of the military and if he's caught leaving the walls without permission they can execute him for going against the law of the king. Me and my companions will be pardoned, yes, but you and my brother? You won't be able to leave so freely."

I felt my heart sink at this as I lowered my arms and off his shoulders. "Mello… I can't lost you…"

"So I won't leave. But I won't stay here."

Something about that sentence put me on radar. "What do you mean by that?"

He picked up a stick from the table that we used for hanging clothes and broke it in half. "One person is weak against a mighty force." He then picked up a few other sticks and held them together, showing that the break could not happen as easily as before. "But with more people to help, we become the stronger force."

He set down the sticks and took my hands in his. "Matt, we can't live here anymore. The walls have proven to be a lesser force than even the titans now. So what can we do other than fight them? Outrun them. The sea is their weakness and we can use it to our advantage."

"How so?"

He then looked outside to show the rain pouring down heavily. "It'll be winter in a few months. It doesn't snow much here, but in Haven the cold is close to unbearable with the water making the winds tougher. But by the end of winter the sea becomes a land mass where it's stable enough to cross. I've only ever done so once with Near, and we found a refuge across the waters in a land that isn't infested with titans. Crossing it is difficult, and it nearly froze us to death, but it's possible. And we can get everyone here to safety if we convinced them to follow us."

I marvelled at the idea for a moment before feeling a slight pang of fear cross through me. "But… is it stable for _all_ these people?"

He hesitated for a moment before lowering his head. "Not all at once. But it's stable. I've seen deer and other wildlife that looked like them cross it in a mass before. I'm sure humans will be no different."

"And what about Eren? He's a shifter, which means he's technically part titan. Would the sea harm him at all?"

He shook his head. "No. Believe me, it wouldn't."

"How do you know…"

"It just won't!" He raised his voice, freeing his hands from my own.

He then took a breath and backed away after seeing me back off slightly from him. "I'm sorry. Just… believe me. I know what I'm doing."

I nodded to him and brought him into a hug. "I do believe you. I'm just worried, that's all. But if you think you've got this planned out, then I'm with you one hundred percent."

Before he could thank me for my support one of the captains – Light, of all people – walked in with L being dragged behind him and addressed us to something equally important.

"Mello, we're running low on food. People are starting to get restless in the streets and we can't keep feeding the soldiers and the commoners all at once. We need to start taking action and quickly."

"Maybe we should let you starve to death so I can cut you off of this chain." L growled out. "But then I'd have to carry a severed arm for the rest of the month."

"Would both of you please act your age." Mello demanded before getting to the matter at hand. "Tell Rester and Gevanni to go to the docks outside the walls and start fishing with a net. They should be alright from the titans since most of them are within the walls anyway and they have protection with their pendants. Matt and I will take two to four of the soldiers from training outside for a hunt. We'll get as much as we can and distribute it to the people. Any leftovers we'll leave in storage up here in the training grounds. As for bread, fruits, and other vegetation, I'll get Near to go out and get some from Haven. He should be back by tonight."

"I thought Haven was a few days travel." I suddenly remembered.

Mello hummed. "Believe me, Near will get there and back without trouble and in record timing."

I was about to question him about it before leaving the matter aside. If he trusted Near, then I had to as well.

Mello then looked to L. "Get Near to go to Haven and tell him to bring the items specified, along with a few more vials of sea water. I believe my troops should have some protection from the titans before taking them outside the wall for more training."

"Mello, it's illegal…" Light began but was smacked over the head by L to stop him from ruining the plan.

"Don't disagree with my student. He's a lot smarter than you believe." He commanded.

"I'll have you know, I was top of my graduating class!"

L only scoffed. "So was I, but you don't see me waving this little fact about like I'd struck gold."

Before the two could come to blows again, Mello ushered them out of the building and commanded them to get their jobs done. After that came the planning.

"We need soldiers from the trainee group, but which ones?" He asked. "You know their status' better than I do."

"Well, Mikasa would be a good choice," I offered, "top of the class, quick, and never misses her mark. But she's mainly concerned with keeping Eren safe, so he'd have to come too."

"I guess I could work with that. So long as he doesn't transform into a titan, we should be alright."

"Agreed. So then what about Annie? She's just as quick and on the mark as Mikasa."

"But she's not cooperative enough yet. Plus, she seems to be battling her own demons at the moment, and I don't want to have to worry about her while hunting."

"Jean? He's got some moves." I relayed.

He shook his head. "Not quick enough. Plus he would be too loud for this kind of thing. We need stealth more than anything."

"Armin? He's pretty okay with the gear, and he always listens to his superior…"

"Absolutely not." He interrupted. "Armin is a good soldier, but quick he is not. I value his brains in this instance, and would help in a fight, but…" he paused, his lips going tight, "…but I can't…

I pulled the man into a hug and kissed his forehead. "But he's your little brother. I understand."

He sighed heavily with a bit of shake in his voice. "I'll take Bertolt and Reiner. They work well with each other and their combat is alright. Plus, the more soldiers I take the more we can catch. As long as they follow my lead, it should be alright."

"A good team if you ask me." I complimented. "How long will you be out there with them?"

"A few days, maybe a week. I have to take them to a forest close to Haven to gather the food. I'll prepare them to leave for tonight before Near returns. They won't have any protection from pendants so we'll have to move fast. While we're gone, I'm leaving you in charge of training the others. I need you to train them for teamwork and helping each other out. Naomi will school them in the newer models of their gear."

I agreed to this and kissed his cheek. "Let's get going then! The troops are almost done their breakfast and it's best we tell them right away what the plans are."

And so we raced off towards the field in order to greet the troops after they were done eating. Though it was hard to speak over the sound of rain hitting everything there was to get wet, we conveyed the food crisis to them and the immediate action we had to take. We even went as far to tell them that Mello had to travel to Haven's forest in order to hunt for primary meat.

This, of course, got more than a few people excited.

…including Armin…

…

…poor kid.

Mello then announced his plan in detail. "I will need three of you to come with me to the forest close to Haven so that we may hunt for better and fuller meats. My companion Near will head off to Haven itself and bring back some homegrown foods as well as seeds to plant in fields so we won't go through another shortage."

I watched Armin bounce in excitement after hearing all this and I felt my heart break for the lad. But Mello couldn't take the risk if he didn't have anything to help protect him.

The blonde bit down his fear ad said, "After much deliberation, I will be taking Mikasa, Eren, Reiner, and Bertolt with me to the forest. We'll be riding all night and as fast as we can. My pendant can mask us, but not as well as it would were it just me alone. Titans will be everywhere, and I can't afford to lose you during this hunt. So please, the three of you get some rest before nightfall and I'll come to receive you before we leave."

The soldiers did as commanded and left for the barracks.

"As for the rest of you," Mello addressed, "you'll be under Matt's command until I return. Please treat him with the same respect that you would treat me."

"Yes sir!" Came the reply from everyone…

…but Armin.

I watched Mello pause for a moment before straightening up once more and commanding yet again.

"Matt, see to the lesson for now. Arlert, I need to speak with you in the mess hall in private."

Armin only nodded before turning away and walking towards the mess hall. After a brief look towards me, Mello followed him.

I cleared my throat. "Alright, let's get to the laps! After twenty of them, we'll partner up once again for a trust exercise."

Jean pointed his thumb over to Armin. "My partner just ran off for some heart to heart with his brother… so what do I do?"

"You pair up with yourself and see how you fair." I joked. "Now get going!"

Once they ran off to do their laps, I breathed out a sigh of relief looking off in Armin's direction.

"Poor kid." I whispered to myself.

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

"You promised me, Mihael!" I practically yelled. "YOU PROMISED!"

"Armin, this isn't about my promise to you," he reasoned, "it's about the food shortage and I can't risk it with having you around."

"Why?! Because I'm not a good enough soldier?!" I asked. "Or is it because I can't be protected? I know that can't be the case because of that pendant you gave me!"

"Armin, that's not it!" He raised his voice. "You _are_ a good soldier, and having you on the hunt would benefit us greatly, but I can't have you out there at the moment! Not now!"

"Why?! If I'm such a good soldier and I can benefit you, then let me come along!"

"NO! End of discussion!"

He tried to walk out of the mess hall but I wouldn't make it that easy for him.

"You think I'm a burden too, don't you."

He stopped in his tracks and turned to me slowly. The look of pure bewilderment in his eyes.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh come off it!" I yelled. "Ever since I was born I've been a burden to you! Now that you don't have to watch me you leave me behind because you know I can't keep up! This isn't an executive decision, it's a brotherly one and as far as you're concerned I'm not good enough to follow you into a battle, let alone a hunt!"

His eyes slit into a glare and h fully turned towards me.

"You're right, Armin, it wasn't an executive decision. It was a brotherly one. And yes, you did burden me throughout my life, but I _chose_ to make you my own burden instead of a brother! I _chose_ to care for you and keep you out of trouble, just like I'm doing so now! Because every time I thought about you getting hurt, or killed, or tortured and getting ripped apart like an animal, it killed me on the inside! THAT'S why I always took the fall for you! THAT'S why you aren't going on this hunt! I choose to give up my life for you so that you don't have to do the same! So that you could have the childhood I never had, and so you could be loved and adored without losing your sanity along the way!" He paused for a moment, flaring his nostrils. "And let me remind you, brother, that I've never gone back on my promises to you. I've never deliberately left you in the dark. I was ALWAYS there when you needed me, and I will ALWAYS stay by your side in times of crisis. So don't you _dare_ look me in the eye and say you aren't good enough in my eyes because if you weren't I wouldn't be sacrificing everything for you!"

His words had become venomous and fearsome, causing me to back into a seat. I'd never hear him speak to me this way, but there was still an underlying tone of caring to it that made me remember that Mihael was still in there. Still protecting me.

When I said nothing, the man took a breath.

"You're a good soldier, Armin, but I'm not worried about losing one of those. I'm worried about losing my brother. I can be one of two things out there, and that's a commander; or a loving family member. I chose to be a commander, and I can't do that with you around worrying me. You're smart, you're brave, and you have a heart bigger than any titan out there. But if I lose you in a battle, or even on a hunt… then I've lost my reason to fight."

He turned away from me and made for the door. Before leaving though, having slammed the door open, he stopped by the entryway and took a breath.

"Find your reason to fight while I'm gone. Please."

And he walked out.

That last word of pleading. That cold and hurtful beg. It wasn't Mello asking me… it wasn't even Mihael… It was someone I hadn't seen before…

...but who had always been there.

I placed my face in my hands and tried not to cry. How could I have acted so childishly about all this? After everything I'd been through with Mello and my family I chose NOW to become a brat and demand reasons from him. Right before he was about to leave for something more important than a stupid trip to see the stupid salt water. What kind of brother was I to yell at Mihael after everything he was being put through at the moment?

I felt someone place a hand on my back and I jolted, expecting to see Eren when I looked up.

But it'd been Jean instead.

He patted my back. "It'll be alright. He'll come around eventually."

I looked down at my boots yet again and forced down the tears. "You don't know him too well."

His response was sitting beside me and bringing me into a side hug. No words to be spoken. I think he knew I needed to be comforted more than spoken to.

And for once… I enjoyed his company.


	31. Chapter 31

_**A/N:**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, reviews are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

It'd been five days into the hunt for Mello and the others, but it was Near who saved the day with the vegetation he brought back along with seeds and plants that we could grow for the days to come. But just how he brought back all that food was a mystery. One look at the pile sent everyone into question as to how someone of his stature could bring back so much.

The white haired man merely shrugged at their questions however and replied with, "I have my ways."

With no more questioning for the guy, we distributed the food evenly and got as many farmhands from the populace to help us with the future crops. With this shortage being taken care of, and more food to come on the way with fish and venison, we got right back into training with Matt as our leader.

For the past week days we'd been partnered up to someone for our trust exercises, and surprisingly Jean and I were always partnered up. It'd been his choice above mine, but with Mikasa and Eren gone I really had no other choice. I suppose Sasha would have been alright, but she usually partnered with Krista or Annie. Connie sometimes partnered with Samuel, then switched to Annie or Sasha, but no one ever really asked me. No one but Jean.

And in the time we were partnered up… I started liking him more.

When we talked he didn't belittle me, or even made fun of me too much. He listened more than he did with anyone else, and had even told a few stories of his own. He told me about his mother and how much she'd cared and loved him, even as a single parent. He admitted his fear over losing her, but was spared that pain when he later found out that she'd gotten away just in time. Other than her, he had no other family to speak of. No brothers or sisters, no aunts and uncles, and he dared not speak about his father. Still, out of all I'd managed to learn from him, the most important part I'd learned was that he wasn't as cruel an unfeeling as I believed.

As we stood beside each other, a metaphorical rope around our wrists, Matt began his lesson.

"…but back to the topic of dodging," he said with a cheeky smile, tossing a pebble in his hand, "I hope you all got some practice with this."

He whipped the pebble towards Jean but I pulled him out of the way in time, thoroughly making him chuckle.

"Gonna have to do better than that, goggles!" He said triumphantly.

And did better he had, this time aiming at my head right before Jean pulled me away and into his arms. I honestly believed I felt the pebble graze my hair when it flew past my head. At least I could thank Jean for making sure I wouldn't be getting a lump on my head.

The training continued and both Jean and I dodged the stones perfectly, the others not fairing so well. When it came down to just a few pebbles, we were stopped by a whinny from some horses off the entrance of the gates. We'd thought it'd been Mello and the others, but we were sadly disappointed when we saw the survey corps enter into the area instead. This time, however, they were looking for us specifically.

A shorter one from their group, his hair black and oddly cut, dismounted his horse and strode up to Matt. "Where is he?"

The red head blinked. "I'm sorry?"

The man took a breath. "Where is Mello? I'm told he's the one to speak to about this… elite training that's going on."

I felt my heart jump at this and a fear overwhelmed me. What on earth did they want to speak with my brother about?

Another, taller man with blonde hair then addressed the red head. "We need to speak with this Mello character about his companions. We have reason to distrust them on the grounds of endangerment."

Matt only groaned. "I remember you guys now. From the training days. Ackerman, right? Levi?" He then looked up towards the other two soldiers. "As well as Erwin and… Hange was it?"

The two nodded, but the shorter didn't.

"Matt, be reasonable…"

"You know what, Levi, just step off. I know you just want to question Mello about where he came from but the truth is it doesn't matter. He's here and he's training people for elite status. Just step off."

Levi Ackerman? Where had I heard that name before? I knew Mikasa's last name was Ackerman as well, but then…

That's right! Eren mentioned him before our graduation! He'd rode off to wall Maria to take out a few titans that were still there. What Eren wouldn't have killed for an opportunity to meet this man.

Levi crossed his arms. "Matt, he's a traitor and a deserter. We can't just let him walk about freely…"

"You're forgetting that Pixis set him free into our society." The red head interrupted. "And I'd recommend you piss off and allow us to continue the training."

"Where is he?" The man asked more seriously. "Need I remind you that I out rank you in this facility…"

"Not while I work as Mello's replacement for the time being." He announced proudly. "Now kindly sit your butt down or run off and complain about this to someone else. I don't have time for you."

The three soldiers then walked off, rather begrudgingly, and we continued the lesson.

"I apologise for that," he said calmly, taking a breath, "I'm exactly one of Ackerman's fans."

Jean growled at this. "Him and me both." He whispered to me. "I met him once, and after shaking my hand he cleaned off his skin as if I was a filthy disease! God damn neat freak."

I chuckled. "You could learn something from him."

A nudge to my side was his response and we shared in a quiet laugh.

We were soon let out for lunch but I skipped the food to get a head start on the post yet again. It'd been two and a half weeks now with no one able to grab the blade for themselves. It was looking like none of us would be able to move on to the elite training Mello had spoken of. I guess that was fine though. I wasn't too sure I was cut out for something of that status anyway. I wasn't strong like Eren or Mikasa, I wasn't calm and collected like Mello was in battle, and I certainly wasn't quick on my feet.

So then… what _could_ I offer?

Jean suddenly joined me by the post and asked about my accomplishments with it.

I tore off the leathers, trying not to reveal how much my rear end was hurting after falling so many times. "How do _you_ think it went?"

He merely smiled. "I'm sure there's a trick to it that he's not explaining. We just have to find it."

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "You seem awfully calm about this for someone who failed more times than I did."

"Well, the fact that you failed makes me feel a bit better." He joked. "Besides, if you're anything like your brother, you'll figure it out before any of us."

I scoffed at this. "In what way am I like my brother?"

I sat down on the ground next to the post and watched as Jean sat beside me. "Are you kidding me? You're strong and independent…"

"Where are you getting that bullshit?" I interrupted. "If anything I'm a coward and useless to the highest degree. Even my own brother doesn't trust me to not get killed."

He was silent for a moment before placing a hand on my shoulder. "Armin, you _are_ brave, and stronger than any other soldier. Why? Because of everything you've done to help us. I mean, the plans for the air tanks, retaking Trost… you're amazing! You're not a typical soldier who's all brawn and no brains. You're this smart and confident young man with the brains worth more than gold! You think I didn't notice?! You think _no one_ noticed?! You're incredible, Armin! And quit selling yourself short like that all the time because now it's making me angry."

I felt my heart give a small flutter at this and I looked away from the man to hide my blush. No one had ever said anything so nice to me before.

Not even Eren.

Jean laughed. "And don't even get me started on all those dreams you have about the outside world! Hell, I wanna join the Survey Corps now just to get a glimpse of what's outside there! It'd be amazing!"

I nodded. "It will be. I know it will. And if you want to see it, then I'll take you with me when I go."

"What about your little boy toy, Eren?" He joked.

I glared at him. "Of course I'm taking him. Him and anyone else who wants to follow."

"If you're leading, I'll follow. Knowing you, I'm not gonna die two seconds upon leaving the sanctity of the wall."

I hummed at this. "But… what changed your mind about leaving? Last I heard you were keen on joining the military police to stay safe behind the King."

He shrugged at this. "I met a pretty little hard-headed blonde with a preachy attitude and it got through to me. That, and losing Marco showed me that even the best of the best can get killed in battle. If I'm going to die, I'm not going to do it behind a fat arse king. I'll die in battle where I'll be remembered for actually doing something."

I blinked at his little slip of the word 'pretty' when he spoke. "What was that first part?"

He looked at me for a moment before his face became red and he turned away. "I called you preachy. And you are…"

I felt a shudder in my chest and sunk back into my seat with a grin. "So you called me preachy twice in that sentence?"

He stumbled for a moment before agreeing. "Y-yeah. Because you're twice as preachy as anyone else. So I said it twice."

I giggled to myself at this. "You know… no one's ever called me 'preachy' before."

He looked back at my knowing smile and blushed deeper. "I have a hard time imagining that."

I shook my head. "No one. Not even Eren."

At this the brunette turned to me. "So… are you two… you know…? Because I saw him… with you… and I thought well… maybe… err…"

I nodded. "I guess we are. It's not that public though since people don't exactly trust Eren at the moment due to his… abilities."

"So then, why not wait a bit before starting something more personal rather than private?"

I sighed at this and leaned my head on my knees. "Because I've liked Eren since we were kids…" I paused. "…and no one liked me more than him back then."

"But… you aren't in the past anymore." He reasoned. "There's more variety now."

I shook my head. "Not for me. I'm small and weak, and I don't make myself known. Those who do notice me now have known me for a while or just notice I'm my father's son or the brother of Mello. There's nothing special about me."

"I beg to differ." He said quietly. "Armin, you are so amazing and talented it astounds me. How can you say no one notices you when you give off the best salute of the century, helped re-take Trost from the titans, and still continue to give it your all in training?! You're incredible! Quit thinking like no one notices your existence!"

"Then tell me right now someone who gives a damn other than Eren or Mikasa." I challenged.

I was responded to with a pair of lips on my own and my heart palpitating like the wingbeat of a bird. This kiss was different than Eren's. it was softer, more passionate, and it drove me insane.

He broke away from me and looked me in the eye. "I do."

I sat there in shock and dismay, wondering what the hell to do next about this newfound affection Jean was keen on showing off. It wasn't like him to care so deeply about something or someone else. It just didn't strike me as something that was his own trait. But then, looking into his hazel eyes, I couldn't help but believe his sincerity.

But… what about…?

I didn't have time to question it as Eren suddenly tackled Jean to the ground and started beating up the man.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" He screamed, throwing down a few punches. "YOU SLIMEY PIECE OF SHIT!"

Jean blocked the hits, not trying to fight back. I didn't really believe he'd had the chance to at the moment, but that wouldn't stop him later on I didn't think.

I was suddenly pulled away by Mello as Matt jumped in to stop the fighting. When Eren was pulled off of Jean, the titan shifter lunged at the man while being held back by one of Mello's stronger companions, Ross I believe his name was, while Jean was being protected by Matt along with L and Light.

"HOW DARE YOU!?" Eren screamed. "I OUGHTA RIP YOUR HEAD OFF FOR THAT!"

"Matt, take Kirstein to the barracks." Mello commanded. "Ross, lock up Eren and make sure he can't reach his hands. I don't wanna take chances."

He then dragged me away towards the town and I asked what he planned to do with me.

"Nothing," he replied, "I's just best if you're away from them for a moment. Especially while tensions are high."

"I promise, Mello, I had nothing to do with Jean… err…"

"Kissing you? I know, I saw. But it's not like you being there will help matters."

I swallowed my fear and nervousness. "Mihael, I'm so confused."

He chuckled. "Then it looks like it's time for me to be an older brother rather than you commanding officer."

I grinned slightly as tears ran down my face. "Can you help me?"

He stopped in his tacks to pull me into a hug. "I can try."

And for the first time in what felt like forever, I had a brother again.

A real brother.


	32. Chapter 32

_**A/N: New POV to the mix! Tell me if he should be in here more before I continue on!**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, reviews are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Eren P.O.V)**

I squirmed in my binds, pulling against the chains that held me to the bed. I'd been put in a cell as well but Mello had demanded that I be put in chains so I couldn't bite my thumb and change into a titan. I suppose it was fair, but I wasn't going to kill Jean in Titan form. No, I wanted to strangle him myself for everything he did.

I didn't blame Armin for any of this. I saw the whole thing and I knew he had nothing to do with that kiss. I trusted him... I loved him. But Jean would become a dead man if he thought for even a moment that I would let him get away with this and forget the whole thing. No, I wouldn't forget.

I'd never forget.

I relaxed onto the bed finally and breathed rapidly through my flaring nostrils.

"You done, Yeager?" I heard Matt ask.

I growled. "Only until I see that horses as again." I replied.

I looked over to the red head biting his lip before he replied with. "Well... you're in luck!"

I thrashed in my chains again as Jean made an entrance through the door behind Matt and I demanded to be set free so that I might rip apart the man in front of me. It was pointless though since Matt simply chuckled and called me a child before letting Jean speak.

"Look," the guy started, "I'm sorry for what I did. I knew Armin was with you, but... I just couldn't help myself. I like him too you know..."

"Tough shit!" I replied angrily. "You had no right to... to... BAH! I can't even repeat it! Just... how dare you!"

"Hey! You don't exactly appreciate him as much as you say you do!" He claimed.

"Excuse me!?" I yelled. "And what exactly are you implying!?"

* * *

 **(Jean P.O.V)**

What _was_ I implying?

For what I could remember about how I was feeling… I just knew my emotions were directed towards Armin. It hadn't always been that way but when I finally got to talking with him.

It'd been a day or so before Mello had left for the hunt in this Haven place he spoke of, and I'd been outside after curfew watching the stars. I'd been remembering an old prayer my mother would say to me before bedtime when I was little, and thinking about it made me remember Marco. About how he fell in battle and I couldn't do anything to save him. Armin had come out as well to ask what I was doing, and I told him I was just thinking. And so he stayed…

…and he listened.

I wasn't much to show my emotions. I usually hid them away with a wall of bravado and fearlessness. I did that because of my mother. With no one but me in her life she had trouble making ends meet. So I joked around to help her smile and get over her fears and worries. After the attack at wall Maria, I planned to have made it into the Military Police to move her up into the inner wall to spare her any more worries and keep her safe. This was the extent of my compassion and love, but it didn't mean for a second that I was unfeeling.

The only other person I told this too was Marco. A man with the same ideals as myself, with twice the strength and brain power. He deserved a better end than what he got. Food for a titan then spat out in a heap of bodies was a pathetic way to find him.

If only I'd done something.

Armin understood my pain, and even spoke about his own family with me. About how his father lost his arm while he himself was a toddler, and how Mello took up the mantle as the man of the house. It was hard for everyone to make ends meet but they did. With Mello doing everything, and the income from the military helping them out due to his father's bravery and ultimate dismissal of the corps, they did alright. After they lost Mello, Armin did what he thought to be right and joined the military to help out in the fight. I thought it was pretty brave of him considering his initial fears from before.

After getting all that mushy, friendly reminders out of the way, Armin told me about constellations. I didn't understand what he'd meant until he pointed them out to me. Out of all the ones he'd rattled off to me, my favourite constellations had to have been the big and little dippers. He'd said they were supposed to be bears, but I didn't see it. I saw two giant and clunky spoons hanging in the air and it made me laugh to think there was spoons so huge yet so far away that we'd never be able to touch them.

It was after that when we got into a long conversation about what was outside the walls awaiting us. About how humanity would be able to survive out there, and why we chose to fight for it. I found we had a lot of common ground in this subject, and from that point onward I'd fallen for him.

I'd been over the moon now, I felt happy again. But there was still one problem…

Eren.

It was no secret the titan-boy had a thing for Armin, and they were soon declared a couple when Sasha claimed to have seen them locking lips right before curfew was called one night. It broke my heart, but I said nothing. It wasn't until I saw Eren leave for the hunt that I finally knew what the guy really wanted out of the blonde. A safety net. Someone to keep him from getting killed in the line of battle due to his powers of shifting into titan form. He didn't even decline going outside the walls to save his supposed 'friend' from getting hurt. Armin deserved to see what was outside the walls more than that freak ever did, and I spent the better part of half an hour comforting Armin and making sure he'd be alright for the training to come while his brother and friends were gone.

So what was I implying?

I grit my teeth and balled my hands into a fist.

"You take him for granted." I replied. "You say he's your friend but how much do you truly think about him before the extermination of all titans?!"

The guy growled at me. "Are you fucking kidding me!? I've thought about Armin since before I was a soldier! Since before I became this titan freak! Then YOU go ahead and try to take him from me!? What makes you think YOU deserve him more than ME!? We've known each other our whole lives! He's known you for a few years!"

 _'Yet it feels like forever.'_ I thought to myself.

I sighed heavily before walking out of the room. "I'm done here."

"GET BACK HERE!" The shifter demanded. "I DEMAND YOU GET BACK HERE!"

I closed the door without responding and left the building entirely. What waited for me on the outside was not something I thought I'd have to deal with.

Connie and Sasha were all over me trying to get information about what was going on. As far as they were concerned, Eren was just angry at me. They knew nothing about me kissing Armin or even my feelings for him. No one did but those who witnessed it.

Which meant Mello would have more than a few words for me the next time I saw him.

Which…wasn't a long wait.

The man found me at the gates, waiting with his arms crossed and leaning against the post of the latch. Connie and Sasha immediately quieted their voices before Mello sent them to their bunks. Leaving us to speak in private.

His nostrils flared. "You have a lot of guts going in to see Eren when he's like this. I've seen him mad, and it's not pretty. I think he has a slight anger management problem, but that's topped off from years and years of it being all pent up. Although, even if he won't admit it, he still has a heart. Enough of one for someone else."

I bit down the sarcastic comments daring to escape and spoke seriously now.

"How is he?"

"Armin?" He asked, pushing off the post. "Shaken up a bit, but I blame Eren for it more than you. I tried stopping him before he could get to you but the little rat bit me and made an escape. He should have reacted more sensibly to this."

"Have you spoken to Armin at all?" I asked in worry, fearing I'd scared him off.

Mello shook his head. "He's too shook up to speak at the moment. When he's calmed down and has a drink or two with our old man, he should be better."

"I never took the guy as a drinker." I joked.

Mello chuckled half-heartedly. "It's an old remedy. Drink some whisky and it should calm you down. Mellow you out and keep you from jittering. Better than tea."

"I'll keep that in mind." I promised. I then took a breath. "I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused. I never meant for Armin to be in the middle of all this, I just thought…"

"You'd steal a kiss and run?" He warned. "Well, that might have worked had Eren not run of to find him right away upon returning. But what has me baffled is why you suddenly show interest in my brother. I rather thought you had a thing for Mikasa. You stare at her so often during training, and then there's the times you show off to other females. Why suddenly shift to a male?"

I scratched the back of my neck at this and looked towards the ground. "I… I don't…"

I took another breath and just gave up on trying to lie to him.

"Because I can talk to him and not be afraid of being judged. I talk to him, and I see someone more fascinating than anything else life has to offer. He's smart, he has tenacity and spirit, and he's so humble about everything he's done that he thinks he burdens others without remembering all he's done. He's as loyal as they come, and when you manage to dig deep down inside him and make him come out of his shell, it's like watching a butterfly come out of its cocoon. It's beautiful and marvelous to watch, and it reminds me that there's so much more to fighting in this battle than simply for humanity's sake alone. _That's_ why I fell for him. Because no one else could ever make me feel like this. And it hurts me to see him waste his life with someone who doesn't appreciate it like I do."

The man before me hummed at my response before taking a breath himself.

"Thank you for your honesty," he replied, "but I hope you know that this isn't a matter between a commander and his trainee."

He then took a step closer to me in a warning stance, looking into my eyes with a fearsome glare. "This is between a child soldier, and the older brother of his fancy."

I swallowed my fear before nodding. "Yes sir."

He relaxed his posture, still glaring. "I've protected Armin from a lot of things, Kirstein. I took a lot of hits for him in my day, and I'll take a thousand more before I watch him endure such pain. But I can't do anything about this. It's his own battle that you started when you decided to lock your dirty lips onto his. So I'll simply give my input to him, like any good brother, then walk away and let him handle this. But heed my words, if you EVER come within even an inch hurting him…"

He drew his blade so fast I barely had time to react and jolt at the sharpened object poking against my neck.

His glare deepened and his eyes darkened into a terrifying glare. "…I will end you."

He lowered the blade from my throat and I breathed a sigh of relief. "Understood."

He sheathed the blade, his glare still intense. "I'm not your commander in this fiasco, Jean. I'm your worst nightmare."

He turned from me and strode through the fence. Before leaving from my sights he stopped dead in his tracks, muttering "Be afraid," before continuing on.

I felt my heart race in my chest with fear. "Yes sir."


	33. Chapter 33

_**A/N:**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, reviews are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

I was still in a bit of shock and dismay when Mello came back, but thankfully our mother had talked me through it somewhat. I just couldn't understand why Jean would do such a thing as kiss me. He never showed interest before, so why now? And why me? I've seen him eyeballing others, but they were mostly female. Did he think _I_ was female? I mean, maybe when we first met, I could have understood that. But enough times sleeping in the same room and having to shower together should have given him insight to the fact that I was indeed male. Other than that, he should have known by now – thanks to Sasha - that Eren and I already had something together.

So then… why do this?

Mihael sat beside me and took my hand. "How you doing, brother?"

I shook slightly and nodded. "I'm… I'm alright. I just… I'm confused. Jean never showed real interest in me before, and Eren…"

"Don't worry about them." He interrupted. "They're big boys, they can handle this. But putting you in the middle like this is a childish thing to do no matter how much one may like you."

I took a breath. "So what do I do then? I mean… Eren and I have always been there for each other, and I care about him a lot. But Jean…"

"Stop that," he said calmly with a squeeze of my hand. "You don't owe either of them anything, and you shouldn't decide right away what you're about to choose. Just think about it for a bit, take some time away from them."

"I can't, remember." I reminded. "They're both from the same group as I am, and I'm usually partnered to Jean anyways…"

"But for the next few days of training it'll be all about working with the mind. No partners needed." He promised me.

He then stood up and got me to follow him. "You're smart, Armin, and you're a great asset to the survey corps. Mikasa told me about the plans you'd made for getting supplies from headquarters, and I saw your salute when you faced Kitts and the numerous soldiers that had you pinned against that corner. You aren't inept in any way, shape, or form. You can make an educated decision here."

He brought me out back into the garden and looked up at the stars. "Kirstein had a lot to talk about with you. Even said he trusted you and respected you."

I narrowed my eyes at this. "And why exactly did you go to speak with him?"

He hugged me to his side and smiled innocently. "Armin, I'm like those birds we used to see in Shiganshina. We're pretty, and walk in a stride…" he then clenched his hand onto my shoulder, his voice deepening into a growl, "…but mess with my family and I'll rip their fucking eyes out without an ounce of mercy!"

I blinked in a bit of fear. "You _are_ known to be aggressive towards bullies."

He huffed. "Saved your ass a few times, didn't it?"

I grinned innocently. "And I love you for it!"

He pulled me into another hug. "Good. Lord knows I'd do anything to protect you…" he paused, growing somber, "…even if it means breaking a promise or two."

He pet my hair down and relaxed slightly. "I'm sorry for yelling at you before I left. I didn't mean for you to be hurt by my actions, I just wanted to know you were safe while I was working. And I couldn't do that with you going out of the walls without my eyes and ears being focussed on your safety."

I backed away from him in a bit of contempt. "I'm not a child anymore, Mello. I can take care of myself!"

He went to argue with me but backed off at the last second. "I know that. But you have to understand the last time I saw you you'd been so afraid… so little. It scared me to see you alone on that boat but I had to leave you and hope you'd be alright. And…that was the last I ever saw of you."

He backed off from me and strode over to a small hay bale to sit down. His somber face then made a tiny smile.

"You know, when mom and dad told me they had a surprise for me, I thought they were bringing home a puppy. Then they handed me this…swaddling… burbling… bloody mess of a human and I thought 'This kid is going to be my worst nightmare'. And I was completely right! You were placed in my room a year after you were born and I instantly hated you. You screamed, you cried, you demanded attention, and don't even get me started on the diaper changes!"

"Is there a point to this!?" I asked in a semi-irritated voice.

He hummed a chuckle before his face fell and his eyes averted from my own to the grass below him. "I thought I'd always hate you. I thought I'd run away and find a family that didn't need an older brother, or at least have a kid who didn't scream as much as you did. But…when dad lost his arm, and he couldn't carry you and hold you like a real father should, I just felt bad for you. I felt like you'd been cheated out on a chance to have a real and loving dad. Of course, I was eight at this point and I just didn't really understand the strength of our father in general, but I still felt like you needed someone to look after you. Like how dad looked after me."

"He looked after both of us, Mihael." I reminded before sitting beside him. "Why would you think that he didn't?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. I should have been jealous about you but I wasn't. I should have been jealous that you got dad all to yourself and that you never had to watch him go off to war. You never had to stay up at night and wonder 'when's daddy coming home' or 'where is his letters to me'. I should have been jealous that you never got to see the carnage of what had happened, the bandages and the realization that our dad isn't invincible. I should have hated you…

"…but how could I?"

I bit down on my lip and tried to look away, focussing on anything other than the tears that were welling up in his eyes. "I didn't know you went through all that."

He plucked a straw of hay from beside him and twiddled it in his fingers. "Grisha once told me that the families of soldiers were the hardest to care for. Kids would wake up crying in fear or cut themselves after losing someone. He worried about me after dad lost his arm, but I showed how strong I could be. That doesn't mean I was… but I _could_ have been. People used to ask me about how I was doing, what with my father being gone all the time. It made me want to cry, but I only nodded and said I was okay. When other kids made assumptions about him being dead, I immediately took action out of anger and resentment. Like I said… I thought he was invincible. And for the most part… he was."

I tried to bite down the question, but I had to know.

"What was it like to go through with this change? With dad losing his arm?"

He was silent for a moment, his thoughts invisible to his face.

"Well," he started, "all I can really tell you is I was scared. I didn't know what was going on, I didn't know why this had happened. I feared losing him more than anything, so losing an arm shouldn't have made me so upset. He was alive and well, that's all that mattered right?" He then paused for a moment and his hair curtained his face as he looked away from me. "But I was angry. I didn't understand why this had happened. I didn't understand how he could've gotten hurt. He was my dad, he was perfection, and he'd never gotten hurt before. And then he came home, and he tried to live out a normal day to day life… but he couldn't. He couldn't cut his own food, couldn't help with the gardening, couldn't cook, and he couldn't be a proper dad. He'd wake me up at night with his screams and I'd try to ignore them, but I couldn't. Each day kept getting tougher and tougher for him and all I'd wanted was for him to just have one easy day so he could relax and be himself again."

I felt my heart sink at this. "So you took over."

His breath hitched as he tried to inhale. "Yeah… I did. I caught him trying to cook breakfast for us like he used to before the incident and he wouldn't stop crying because he'd wasted so many eggs. I once heard him talk to Grisha about mom leaving him because of how useless he was and I guess he thought that this would be the last straw for her…

"…so I jumped in.

"I made the eggs and served them, getting recognition from him and my mother. So I started cooking breakfast from then on until I got a bit older. When mom got pregnant with the twins I took up all the cooking in the house. Then grandfather moved in and it became cleaning and gardening too to make him happy. Then you started getting out into the world and I learned to fight. None of it happened overnight like you think, but it sure felt like it. It felt like I'd woken up one day and everyone suddenly needed me more than I needed them. So I took up the jobs, I kept things in order, even when dad had gotten used to his limitations I was alright to do everything for him. And for the longest time I thought I was doing it solely for him… but I really wasn't."

I blinked and felt a jolt in my heart. "You did it for me?"

He nodded. "I had to. I didn't want you to have the same upbringing that I had. I didn't want you waking up to his screams or contemplating suicide on a daily basis. I didn't want you to look at him and my mother and wonder if things were falling apart. I wanted you to have a family that I didn't have. One that gave you everything you deserved. The love and caring, the fun and happiness, and the comfort and hugs you were worthy of. I wanted you to be happy… …so I gave up my life for yours."

He looked towards me in somber. "Of course I worry about you, Armin. It's all I've ever known is worry. I can stomp about and command orders to just about anyone, but under that is a never ending abyss of worry and fear. I know you'll make a great soldier, just like dad. But even _he_ had people who worried about him. And he always made sure we knew he was safe." He shook his head. "I never knew if you were safe after Wall Maria fell. My last memory of you was a terrified face with tears in your eye. And it kept me up at night for months until I heard the news about Memphis' son entering into the Military. And after that I finally moved on and fought hard during my training."

I smiled at this and hugged the man tightly. "You deserve the position of commander. You've fought harder than anyone else here."

He chuckled slightly and hugged me back. "Nah, I think that award goes to L. He and Light have nearly killed each other trying to get free of those chains. Secretly I think they like each other."

That made me laugh before backing up a bit. "I can imagine it. I mean… opposites can attract." I then remembered my own relationship crisis and let go of Mello completely. "But what do _I_ do, Mihael? I'm already with Eren, but Jean… Jean confessed to liking me more than I thought he did…"

"And do you like him back?" He asked.

I bit my lip before thinking about it fully.

Jean was handsome, I'll give him that, and he did have a nice figure to him, but what attracted me to people more than anything were their intellect and how they responded to others with their own intelligence. And Jean… well… he had more to him than he let on. He was smart and charismatic, he had a heart of gold if you got to know him, and he was as brave as any soldier could be. Not to mention he was sweet and caring when he knew he had to be. When I spoke to him, I didn't feel like a burden. I didn't feel like I was a bother or that I was unwanted. He treated me like a fair soldier, and he gave me chances that not even my brother gave me.

So… did I like him?

I gave a faint nod. "Yes… I do."

Mello hummed thoughtfully at this before looking up to the sky. "Well then… this is a predicament."

"So what do I do?"

He took a moment to think about this before looking me in the eye. "Do you want advice or a command?"

I looked at him pleadingly. "I want my brother to help me."

He chuckled at this before ruffling my hair, stilling his hand on my head. "Were I you, baby brother, I'd break it off with Eren and Jean together and find myself someone less crazy and more grounded than those two." He then pulled me into a side hug and kissed the top of my head. "I love you Armin, but this is your own battle. I can't collectively decide what to do for you. Sometimes, though, you just need to step back and look at the puzzle from a different angle. Only then can you decide which piece fits better."

I understood exactly what it meant, but the thought hurt me.

"You want me to leave Eren and decide what to do on my own. No influence."

He patted my shoulder. "I think it would be best, but it's your decision. Do whatever's best for you."

I nodded at this and lay my head on his shoulder, him laying his own head on mine. "Thank you. I'm glad I have you as a brother." I then chuckled. "Even if you hated me for the first few years of my life."

He smiled innocently. "Only when you screamed, baby brother."

"I'm not a baby." I warned.

He brought me in a bit closer. "Yes you are! You're little baby Armin, with the pinch-able cheeks, and the sweet little dimple smile!" He teased, pinching my cheeks and making me giggle.

"Seriously! Stop calling me that!" I giggled out as he started tickling me.

"Why?! You _are_ my baby brother! And I love you so much!" He spoke in a baby voice. "Yes I do! YES I DO!"

"Piss off!" I screeched in a laugh as he continued to tickle me.

Right as I was slipping off the hay bale from his tickles I heard someone open the door to the backyard and came out to join us. My eyes had been closed due to me laughing, but I'd caught a glimpse of red hair so I knew Matt was there with us.

I heard the man chuckle. "Looks like you two are having fun! Glad to see the bond of brotherly love still remains strong."

Mello stopped tickling me and sat up to look at the man. "And where were you when my brother got assaulted by Kirstein?"

I watched as Matt cocked an eyebrow. "Assaulted?! From a kiss!? Hell, if that's the case you should 'assault' me more often!"

"Oh, I believe you're 'assaulted' enough as is." He replied as he stood up. "I down right 'murder' you some days."

"Yeah, _some_ days." He muttered. "Some people get 'murdered' almost every day."

I blinked at this and looked towards Mello. "What the hell are we talking about right now?"

"Grown up stuff, sweetie, you wouldn't understand." Mihael joked as he helped me up before looking back at Matt. "And had Jean gone too far, where exactly would you have been?"

"Trying to feel you up in the laundry room again while Eren kicked the crap out of him." He admitted.

Mello rolled his eyes before looking at me. "See what happens when options are limited?"

I covered my mouth to stop the laugh but Matt was still slightly offended. "Hey, I gave you two chances to say no to me and you still chose me."

"Above everyone else who sings to me and gives me my lifelong dream as a gift of his affection." The blonde replied sarcastically. "Matt, you were the only one I could actually speak to and feel like a normal human being with. You listened to me, and you cared about what I had to say. After what you did for me and all you were willing to do, I couldn't help but fall for you. Especially after you gave me those large and pathetic puppy eyes that pleaded 'love me'."

The man strode up to Mello and pulled him in closer to kiss his neck. "It worked, didn't it?"

Mello's eyes rolled once again. "Hardly, but out of the other soldiers trying their luck with me you by far made the biggest impression."

Another kiss to his cheek. "I always aim to make the bigger impact. And look what I got in return for it. A smart, sexy blonde with the body of a goddess and the mind of a great tactician. I won't even mention how beautiful you are when you give orders to those brats back at camp."

"Excuse me," I reminded him to my presence.

"You're an exception, Armin." He granted me. "The others, however…"

Mello only giggled slightly as he pat the man's back. "And I thankfully got someone who can still make me smile even after being away for so long. Someone who stayed loyal and loving to me even while in my death. And it doesn't hurt he's got brains and a body to go with it!"

"Oh jeez, stop it, both of you. I'm getting ill here." I once again reminded them of my presence.

Mello only dragged me into another hug, kissing the top of my head again. "Keep in mind, Armin, that these are the traits we looked for in each other. So take what you learn and apply it to your own choice. What you like and what you dislike in each of the boys fighting for you. Ad if you can't decide, then don't decide at all. No one is worth a lifetime of wondering 'what if'."

I nodded before hugging back. "I'll think about it thoroughly, I promise."

With that Matt took Mello on his merry way into town for their own time together. With the day's events they didn't properly get to spend time together in thanks of Mello's return. I understood completely and didn't butt into their business.

I kinda already knew what they were planning on doing anyhow.

I decided to stay home that night and think of a way to tell Eren we needed a break, but didn't get very far until Mello had come home to help me write out something that I should say to him in the days to come. I hoped more than anything he would understand why I was doing this, but I was also afraid of him losing it when I told him and… well… titan powers were indeed frightening.

But I had to trust Eren.

…

I had to.


	34. Chapter 34

_**A/N:**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, reviews are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Matt P.O.V)**

"Still no one is able to retrieve the blade?" I asked Mello.

The blonde groaned. "No, and now we've got Eren and Jean competing with each other to see who gets higher in the challenge. If it's not the post it's in laps, if it's not laps it's other exercises, and if it's not THAT they're competing to see who can finish their food faster! Honestly, one week of this is putting me into a state of no return! I may have to suspend one of them if they can't grow up already!"

I couldn't help the small laugh escaping my lips. "Poor Mello. Getting all worked up over his troops."

"Poor Mello getting all worked up because his younger brother is being treated like a trophy." He reiterated. "I've had to switch Armin to new bunks twice before finally getting him to go home and sleep after the day has ended. And if that doesn't make things worse I've been told Jean started a fight with Eren after a few choice words were said between the two. Honestly, why can't they just grow up?"

I shook my head and watched for the time through the sun. Lunch would be over soon and then we'd have to take the troops into a classroom for some gear rehearsal. Mello wouldn't allow them to suit up into the new gear that he and his companions had modified until they were fully aware of the drastic changes. After that they'd be taken into a considerable amount of training for that until they'd learn how to use them with the same efficiency as Mello and his friends.

I hummed. "Armin's late. _Really_ late. Have you seen him at all today?"

The blonde shook his head. "Other than last night to make sure he was alright, no I haven't. I'm beginning to worry."

"Don't. The boy can take care of himself."

The man shifted in his seat on the railing to the mess hall and peered out over towards the gate. "I can't help it, Matt. I always worry about him. He's not the strongest soldier, you know, and with all this shit going on in his life I can't help but think he's in danger with each moment that passes by. And now that he's not here…"

"Maybe your dad kept him home from training." I suggested. "I mean, you said it yourself that he was stressed."

"My father would have notified me by now," he promised, "and I would think he'd have told me even last night that he'd be keeping him home. Even my mother would have said something. Maybe something has happened…"

"Don't think about it too much." I encouraged him, placing a calm hand on his knee. "He's fine."

Before Mello could say anything more about the subject we heard the gate open and we stood at attention, hoping to see the younger blonde. Unfortunately, it was just the Survey Corps back again to harass us. Last time they just left without question, but this time they seemed determined to get any information they wanted from us.

What struck me as even more odd was the way they huddled together in their walk, without any horses. And at a glimpse, it would seem three out of the six were dragging something behind them. This out of anything seemed the most strange about their approach.

The three from last time were here, plus three more I'd met in my past. The three looked to be a bit perturbed, even Corporal Levi, while the other three looked more determined and angry than disturbed. Which put my stomach at an unease.

Mello growled as the mess hall emptied. "Well, if it isn't Corporal Fuck-head and his band of Merry Fairies! What brings you to my training facility? And make it quick, I have business to attend to!"

The three newer soldiers of the band, two of which I'd graduated with, stepped forward.

Before they spoke, Levi bumped in. "Matt, I promise you I had nothing to do with this."

I looked over to Mello and back. "What are you talking about…?"

"Shut up!" Came one officer's stern voice.

I knew this one well. I believe his name was Kenny and had been second in my graduating class. He'd always been a bit paranoid but now he just looked psychotic. I wondered for a moment how he of all people had survived the titans.

"What do you want, Ken?" I asked.

I could hear him growl from even a few feet away as we made our way to them from the mess hall.

"I want to know what kind of sick game you're playing at!? Harbouring a titan!? What in god's name are you thinking man!?"

We stopped dead in our tracks and looked at each other before returning his gaze.

"It's no secret about Yeager being a shifter!" Mello reminded him. "Are you seriously that lost to the world that you didn't know this already!?"

"I ain't talkin' about that traitor, I'm talking about YOU! YOU came in here with another one of them shifters! I know you did! I SEEN IT!"

Mello scoffed a bit of laughter. "Are you daft or just incredibly drunk?!"

Kenny's attitude suddenly got erratic. "Maybe _this_ will get you talking."

He ordered for his friends to move aside and we were all taken aback by what they'd had dragged over to us. One of our trainees, beaten and bloodied, with a sack over his head.

But that wasn't the worst part.

They took off the sack from his head and I could almost feel Mello's anger flood the entire field around us. Armin was barely conscious and he flinching with each moment that went by. He looked to be on the brink of tears but couldn't do anything to hide them with his hands tied behind his back. With all the bruises and blood on him, it was safe to say they'd had him for more than a few hours. What they did to him… I don't think I wanted to know.

Kenny growled as he brought out a pistol. "Stole him outta bed last night at your parents. Took him to headquarters and tried to get information about you. He wouldn't talk. So now we're here, and I'm ready for the truth. So now tell us the truth, Keehl. Or your baby brother's taking a dirt nap at your very feet. And, let's face it, we all know you don't want that to happen."

Mello was frozen. I could tell he was angry, but there wasn't anything he could do. He could lie and say there was another shifter but what good would that do for us? Yes, it'd save his brother, but…

…

No, he can't do this!

"Are you fucking crazy, Kenny!?" I yelled. "There are no other shifters and you just kidnapped a Captain's son, and your Commander's brother! Have you lost it!?"

"JUST TELL ME WHERE HE IS, KEEHL!" He demanded. "TELL ME!"

Mello said nothing. His face contorted into fear and thought at once. There wasn't much he could do at the moment other than just stand there.

The blonde grunted at his silence and grabbed the boy by the hair to hold the gun up to his head. "TELL ME OR I'LL SHOOT!"

The field was in an uproar of gasps and worried screams. Almost everyone that was working here was now on red alert to the situation at hand. And all Mello could do was stand there like a statue in fear.

"Kenny, for god sakes we didn't sign up for this!" One of his comrades stated worriedly, making the other soldiers back away from him. "You said you had proof, but you're going too far now!"

"I have proof…" he said quietly, making Armin whimper slightly, "…and it's here in the training grounds. Just get him for me."

I held up my hands and took a step forward. "Kenny, stop this. You don't want to hurt the lad, so put the gun down…"

"I'll let him go when that traitor brings me the other shifter!" He demanded through clenched teeth, grinding the barrel of the gun into the side of Armin's head. "If he can't, then I'll kill him! I'll kill him, and that traitor!"

"Kenny, put the gun down." Levi demanded, stepping closer to him as well. "We don't want innocents getting hurt here."

"Fuck you! You only care about the mess I'll make when his brains splatter the entire field!"

He glared up at me. "GET THE SHIFTER! NOW!"

"THERE IS ONLY ONE SHIFTER!" I screamed at him. "STOP WITH THIS NONSENSE!"

"GET THE FUCKING SHIFTER RIGHT GOD DAMNED NOW!"

I went for the gun and it fired off almost right away, making contact instantly…

…

…but not with Armin.

Armin fell to the ground with a thud and watched in horror as Kenny lay twitching at the end of two blades criss-crossing his neck. He barely had time to utter a gurgled moan before falling into his death and going limp. His eyes stilling, and his breathing running cold. At the other end of the blades was Mello in a shaking and heavily breathing mess, his side bleeding from the bullet wound caused by the gun. His eyes were cold and unfeeling, but there still ran a tear or two down his cheeks.

He didn't even look at his brother as he said, "I'm so sorry, Armin…" before falling to his knees and ripping the blades out from the corpse as he stood. Not a drop of blood on them, and now a sight of dulling in the edge. This was the perfection in his gear compared to ours.

He unclipped the mechanism from his waist and hurried over to his brother's side. "What'd they do to you?"

"Look, Keehl…"

"Don't you fucking talk to me, you monster!" The blonde seethed as he stood to face one of Kenny's followers. "You kidnapped my brother, you tortured him, and now you want to plead guilty?! I'll see you follow that sack of shit into the grave before I forgive you for what you've done! If you think for even a moment that I will let you walk with this on your conscience, you'd better think twice! I WILL get you terminated form the Corps, I WILL get you banned into titan territory, and I WILL make sure to smile when you're torn and eaten limb by limb until there's nothing left of you! And when there _IS_ nothing left for them to eat, I will rip those titans open and show the world your rotting and forgotten corpses to initiate a worldwide fear to make sure NONE of this happens again! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!?"

The two followers nodded, fearful tears in their eyes as Levi did the honours of arresting and chaining the two together. Thank god him and his gang were on our side.

Tears flood down the blonde's cheeks, but his face still screamed anger and malice. "You've made a dangerous enemy today. Believe me when I say this, if you _ever_ show up within even ten feet of me before your execution, I'll take the matter into my own hands. And believe me… they'll never find your bodies."

The two shook in fright as Kanji happily dragged them off towards the headquarters where they'd be dealt with swiftly. No doubt Memphis was there as well, and he'd push for an execution same as Mello. If I didn't know any better, I'd say the two would execute them together. No hesitation along with it.

I cut Armin free as Erwin and Levi carried off the corpse. Levi said something about coming back in the next few days to explain this set of circumstance, but I was too busy checking over Armin's wounds to hear him clearly.

Mello dropped to his knees beside his brother, holding his side. "I'm so sorry, brother. Please forgive me."

Armin shook slightly before looking over to Mello. "You killed him…"

"He executed him." I corrected angrily. "And if he hadn't then Levi was going to do it. I saw him go for his own pistol, but Mello beat him to the punch. The man was crazy, there wasn't any sense to him. He needed to go."

Mello shook his head, his voice breaking down into sobs. "I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry…"

Armin clamoured up and into a hug with his brother. "Please stop! I don't blame you for this!"

Mello didn't listen and just kept repeating his sorry over and over again, crying into his brother's shoulder. Something about the scene broke my heart in ways I couldn't describe. Like I was seeing Mello for the first actual time with his actual guard down. No more façade, no more walls, just him and his emotions laid out on the table. It scared me to see the blonde break down and cry. To see this strong and independent being become so heartbroken and scared that _he_ needed comforting for a change. I'd seen him sad and alone, yes. But today Mello had been shattered.

And that wasn't something to have been proud of accomplishing.

They took the two brothers into the infirmary and there Armin would stay until he was mentally capable of getting back into training. As for Mello, he walked out of there, still covered in blood just four hours later. Everyone but myself gave him a wide gap up until Memphis came around with his wife Selena to come see their sons. They noticed the same thing we all did when they saw Mello. The pure shattered heart and the weak will to go along with it. He was broken…

…

…but not completely.

Or so we would soon find out.

* * *

 **(Mello P.O.V)**

"Are you sure?" I asked in a whisper, making sure no one could hear us behind the barracks. "There are others?"

"Yes," Near replied, "it was hard to uncover them, but we have other shifters here. I doubt some know about it though. But they'll come out eventually. Some quicker than others if given the time."

"Are _they_ along with us?" I asked in a worried tone.

Near paused for a moment before replying with, "You believe the colossal titan, and the armoured titan are shifters?"

I nodded. "I doubt they know it themselves though. Maybe subconsciously they do, but they can't come to terms with it on the outside. But until we uncover them fully, I need you to train Yeager."

"Mello, you killed Kenny when he was right about another shifter. How will the others take it when they find out you were harbouring another shifter and killed someone for being right about it?"

I grabbed the imp by his collar and slammed him against the wall. "I killed that bastard to save my brother! I don't give a rat's furry ass if he was right, he had no excuse to hold my brother hostage and threaten to end him! THAT'S why I killed him! Don't think for a moment I care about you or any other shifter more than him!"

I admit that I hesitated, freezing in my place, and debated on ratting out Near. But when things got dicey and I saw the panic rise, I couldn't take the chance.

I went to slice his neck and Kenny caught sight of this, trying to shoot me before I could kill him. And had I not been so angry, had I not felt my instinct to protect my loved one like I had, I would have gone down. But I didn't. I stayed up and shoved those blades into his neck and almost revelled in the sight of this monster being put down after everything he did to my brother.

…

…but I felt myself break after doing this.

I broke, because my own brother had to watch me kill another person in order to save him. He had to watch me take a life to spare his own.

And I hated myself for it. Enough to hope my brother would hate me too. For putting him in danger, for killing someone in front of him. I hated myself for this, so he should too!

…

…but he didn't…

…

…

…he still loved me.

The white haired boy was calm as he kindly asked me to set him down. Once I had, he straightened himself up and took a breath.

"Fine then, I'll train Eren. But only if you come clean to everyone about my own abilities once Armin is up and ready and you've gotten some rest yourself. And try to reassure them that I'm no threat when you do come clean."

I nodded. "I'll agree to this. It's about time we said something about it anyway. I can't leave Eren untrained in his abilities, and I know you'll be able to teach him the basics of controlling his form."

The boy nodded back. "I'll do my best."

I held out my hand in a brotherly shake and he took it happily. "See that you do."

And now came the real training.

…

For Yeager, at least.


	35. Chapter 35

_**A/N: YOU DECIDE! Jean or Armin POV next!? (Seriously, I'm terrible with decisions)**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, reviews are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Eren P.O.V)**

The day began as usual, breakfast, then a few laps and other exercises. Armin was still out in the infirmary but I always visited at lunch to make sure he wasn't alone. Jean visited as well, and at the time we were civil, but it always ended in a few glares and angry threats. Matt always managed to pull us apart but it wasn't like we'd start something later.

I blamed him for everything. For Armin breaking it off with me, for his unsure decision, and for Mello not trusting me anymore. The whole ordeal sent me into an anger I barely fathomed, but I respected Armin's wishes and let him have some alone time. I still had hope he'd choose me over that horse faced motherfucker, but I still had to keep an eye out for any changes in this decision of his. I loved Armin, and he knew this, but even Jean confessed his own love so of course he's confused about what to do. I didn't hate him for this, I couldn't hate him. But more than anything I wanted him to choose me.

I'd been there for Armin since we were children. I gave my life for him when I saw him about to be eaten by that bearded titan. I protected him, even if it meant I had my ass handed to me each time I dealt with the bullies. Jean wasn't there, he never was. Yet all of a sudden Armin can't decide which of us he wants more than the other?! Maybe I was a bit jealous, but how could I not be? Jean was taller, more muscular, and his fighting abilities with the titans were top notch. I may have gotten a higher grade than him in the trainee days, but he had charisma to him.

I guess that's what Armin fell for.

Mikasa and I finished up our lunch and immediately left for the infirmary. Jean following behind.

I growled. "Can't you see him later?"

He huffed, smiling cheekily. "I would, but Mello won't let me see him after dark."

I turned to him and grabbed the collar of his shirt, forcing him to look me in the eye. "You take that back!"

He scoffed. "You have such a dirty mind, Yeager. I wouldn't do anything to him in that sort of way unless he gave me consent. And with his brother around, he's not allowed to give any consent. Not until his brother is dead, anyway… or gone from the area."

I gripped onto his collar tighter. "I'll make you eat those words."

He huffed again, his smile now gone. "No wonder Mello doesn't trust you. You're so angry at everything he's worried you'll hurt him. That you'll go into titan form and rip him apart…"

"I'd do no such thing!" I practically yelled. "I'd never hurt him!"

He pushed my hand away. "You keep telling yourself that, Yeager."

He pushed past me and went outside, myself and Mikasa following right behind. Before I could start a fight with him, however, we'd all stopped in our tracks to see Armin standing at attention in front of his brother and Matt. I guess he'd been released today.

I ran to his side and hugged him close. "You're okay!"

He hugged back with a laugh. "Takes a lot to keep me down nowadays." He promised. "Plus Ross and Rester went back to Haven to grab some herbal leaves for Watari to make medicine for the pain. It worked like a charm!"

I continued to hug him close, even as Jean made an appearance and professed his joy at seeing the blonde up and running again. I'd have been mad at him for this if Armin hadn't chosen to stay within my own hug.

Mikasa also hugged him in happiness and relief before Mello called everyone at attention, cutting lunch a bit shorter than usual. This seemed to be more serious than I thought.

One everyone was called out and at attention once more, three of the Survey Corps members joining us as well, Mello addressed us properly. What I noticed, however, was that his eyes weren't as steely and cold as usual. They were a tiny bit fearful of what was to come.

Corporal Levi stood beside him and gave the blonde a nod when things were settled.

"Trainees," he began, "it's about time we came clean to you about who we've let into the walls. After speaking with Corporal Levi about it, and having been granted a pardon for this, I will now explain the actions of what we've done.

"Eren Yeager has been shown to possess the powers of titan shifting… and he isn't the only one."

A gasp rang out among us and we all looked at each other in fear out of this.

"So there _is_ another shifter here!?" Sasha asked worriedly.

Mello stayed calm. "You could call him that, yes."

Whispers and murmurs began and people started to worry. This is when Mello's eyes steeled over once again.

"Calm yourself, troops!" He demanded, pacing in front of us. "This shifter knows about his abilities, and he can control them to a degree higher than Yeager can. I've seen his form back in Haven, and he poses no threat to anyone. How he obtained these abilities is a mystery even _he_ is unaware of. He only knows how to control them and has used them only when needs met necessary. Please try to remember that I would not put any of you in danger like this were I aware of the risks he possessed in his titan form. Believe me, there is nothing to fear if even Corporal Levi trusts my judgement."

The crowd calmed down slightly and the murmurs stopped. Anyone who knew Mello knew he was protective, and were any of us in danger of this shifter, he'd never allow him through the walls.

"Yeager," he called, "please step forward and face your comrades."

I did as asked and soon his hand was on my shoulder. "Yeager will take up training along with the other shifter. As for the rest of you, I expect you to continue with the lessons on your new gear. Please be advised that I will be watching and controlling the situations on all accounts. I will act fast, as much as you know from a week or so ago, and I will be merciless should anything go wrong. You have nothing to fear with their training, and I expect you to listen to those who tutor you in your current conditions."

"So, you won't be training us, anymore?" Connie asked.

"On the contrary, I'll still be your commander, but it will be my comrades from Haven that you will learn from in the next few weeks. From skill with the blade, to hand-to-hand combat. For now, however, I want everyone but Yeager to take this afternoon off. You may try with the post yet again to however many times you wish to try, but there must be a Haven dweller along with you to prove you indeed finish this task. I've appointed L and Light for this since the two can barely do much without each other anyway."

"OH, FUCK OFF MELLO!" Came Light's reply far off in the fields where he was listening in on all this.

The blonde chuckled as he tapped my shoulder. "You may come with us and watch the titan training, but I advise you to be on guard. You never know what may happen when titans are involved, and I can't be held responsible if some of you decide to act stupid during the training. But please, join us if you wish to learn more."

Mello then led me away to a larger, roomier part of the training fields where we were told to do laps half the time. Surprisingly, almost everyone from the trainee squad followed us to this destination. The only one that didn't follow us was Krista. She never really made herself known to us, but I could tell when she wasn't present.

Once we got to the field, Mello introduced me to my new captain.

"Eren, meet Near." He gestured over to a younger, white haired man wearing baggy clothes. "He'll be the one training you to use your titan form more appropriately."

I blinked in shock before clearing my throat and stepping forward, holding out my hand. "I'm' glad to be train- -"

I was immediately grabbed and thrown onto my back by the man and he slammed his boot into my back to keep me down, still pulling on my arm to cause pain.

"Lesson one, Yeager." He said in a nonchalant voice. "I'm not here to be your friend. I may be a shifter, but I've realized my power to my full potential. I can help you, but I won't hold your hand the entire time. Mello wants you trained properly, and so I'll train you."

He let me go and backed off from me, allowing me to sit up. "I saw your form earlier in the retaking of Trost." He admitted. "Sixteen metres, Deviant, and dynamic in the highest percentile. It's very impressive. I suppose when you came by this power you were given a very concentrated and tapped power source. However you obtained it, you were obviously thought about in the highest degree."

I looked to the ground and muttered. "My father…"

"Doctor Yeager." He replied. "I've heard about him. And he's still missing?"

I nodded.

"No matter worrying about it then." He reassured me. "Wherever he is, he's safer than he would be here. Whatever he hid from people, whether it had to do with titans or not, the Military would have tortured him until he gave up his information. Don't worry for him… be glad for him."

I sighed before standing up. "So what's first on the agenda?"

He gave me a quick assessment with his eyes then huffed. "First we have to get you balanced. Your spirit and mind are all over the place, and if you aren't fully mentally aware of your surroundings, you won't be able to control the titan instincts you will have deep within. We as shifters were created for different reasons. YOU were made to help humanity, while I myself was a mere test subject. Because my mind is clear, however, I cannot be made to do the will of a titan. You, however, have too much on your mind. I saw how you reacted the first time you changed into a titan in battle, and you went after your comrade. That was the titan instinct. Had it not been for Arlert, you may have had to kiss your life goodbye. An erratic shifter is a dud. We can't have them within the walls. Understood?"

I nodded, and I took a deep breath. "So what do I do?"

He picked up a staff from a rack of weapons. "I want you to observe and tell me what you see."

He threw the staff over to me and I caught it without a problem. "What do you mean…"

I didn't get to finish as he bit down on his wrist and a thundering bolt of lightning hit the very spot he stood on and a hot wash of steam and smoke filled the air around us. When that washed aside though, what stood before everyone was a tall – maybe fourteen metres – titan with long white hair and a hunched back. His eyes were large, but cat-like and observant, his body proportioned and almost human-like. His titan face was a little bit jagged more than his human face, and his skin bleached whiter than his human skin. But all in all he was a specimen. Thin but strong, hunched but balanced, and he held himself together without letting the titan instincts take over. Even sitting down gently so the ground wouldn't move.

Mello then stepped in and patted the titan's nose. "Full self-control. This is what you will learn in due time, Yeager."

"Dear lord, and you hid this from us!?" Matt said in a laugh. "Well… big things come in small packages I guess! Or so the saying goes."

Mello chuckled as well. "Think you can handle it, Eren?"

I saluted to my commander. "Yes sir!"

"Good. Now…" he said as the titan brought him up to his shoulder where Mello perched. "Let's see how much control you have already!"

I hesitated to follow his not so subtle instruction, but trusted in my abilities and bit down on my thumb. My body changed and I fought the instinct to start punching and killing things around me in order to focus on who was in front of me.

Suddenly, Near was shorter than me and we'd come almost eye to eye again.

I fought the thoughts of fighting him because of his titan looks, but there was still something in the back of my mind than was telling me to lunge forward.

 _"Can you hear me, Yeager?"_ Came a familiar voice from inside my mind.

 _"Near?"_ I questioned with my thoughts.

 _"Good, so you can communicate with me. Some shifters don't have the ability. But they're usually the ones who are unaware of how to work their newer forms. Don't worry about it too much. Be glad that you can do this since we know you can't communicate with your other, human, comrades. I'll cut this short and say that you have excellent control as is, and you may now return to normal."_

 _"I… I don't know how… I usually just wait out my anger or someone cuts me out."_

 _"Just breathe, Eren. Breathe and you will be released. The more your body relaxes, the more you will feel the muscles melt off of your human form."_

I did as asked and closed my eyes to begin breathing in a slow a steady pace, waiting out the moments where my skin began to feel less tight and the claustrophobic feeling in my chest unwound and let me be free. When I opened my eyes once again, the titan Near was once again taller than me and towering me but more than a few metres.

Soon the man joined me in human form after Mello jumped down from his shoulder and watched the show from on the ground.

The man hummed when his titan form was gone. "Not bad for a newbie. But we're still going to have to work on a few things." He then turned toward our blonde commander. "Mello, leave us. We need peace and quiet for the rest of our training to continue on."

He gave a nod. "Of course." Then turned to the others. "Off with all of you! Enjoy the afternoon off! Tomorrow we're doing twice the work!"

A groan set out over them before they all left the area. Mello then wished us luck and departed himself. Leaving me to my own personal training…

…fun…


	36. Chapter 36

_**A/N: YOU DECIDE! Jean or Eren POV next!?**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, reviews are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

Staring up at the stars, finding each constellation I memorized from my book, and thinking about how people came to make them, it all kept my mind off of the current situation I had to go through.

Eren had been my best friend since childhood. He'd been there to fight for me, to give me a reason to keep going, and he never strayed far from our friendship. He didn't care about all the punches he took for me, he didn't care how much pain he was in. He only cared about my safety, and making sure I lived another day, had a shoulder to cry on, and had a loyal friend to turn to in times of need. He, out of anyone, would make a perfect choice in this…

…

…were Jean not involved as well.

Jean was kind, his heart was in the right place, and he was as brave as any other soldier in the military. He treated me with respect and kindness, he made me feel important and that my thoughts meant something to him. He listened and could debate, he stole my heart in a way I never thought it could be stolen. Where I thought I was worthless and undeserving of love or affection, he came right back and showed me that Eren wasn't the only one who cared about me in that way.

So then…who should I choose?

I sighed heavily as I sat up, unable to leave the thoughts behind for even a moment of time. I couldn't decide who it was I wanted, but I dangerously got close to just going with Eren since I knew him longer.

But then I thought about what Jean did for me while I was in the infirmary and I rethought again about who I should choose.

The man had broken many rules and regulations, but he met me in the infirmary late one evening and handed me a book about the sea. I was ecstatic to have it and I almost jumped out of bed to hug the man for what he did for me. I thought for sure he was just trying to win brownie points in this little fiasco, but he just kissed my forehead and told me all he wanted was to see me smile and not worry about my pain.

It made my heart flutter…

…and break.

I just couldn't decide.

I woke up much too early this morning and snuck out from my home, leaving a note for my mother and father to tell them I left early – just so they were aware I wasn't kidnapped once again – and headed for the training fields. I first found the post but ignored it in hatred because of it's infuriating puzzle, but now I wanted to go back and study it again. Just to see if there was anything to unlock in the puzzle Mello had handed to us. Honestly, I had no idea if there even was a puzzle to this, but I had to believe there was.

So I went back.

I grumbled slightly and leaned against the post. "Why couldn't Mello just tell us what to do?"

"Because then you wouldn't learn." Came a familiar voice, jolting me slightly.

I looked around the post to see L and a tired Light walking up to me. L looked the same as ever, but Light looked as if he were ready to drop dead from exhaustion. It was no secret that L was a night owl, but since Light was chained to him he had to adapt as well. So far… results were poor.

Light stood there, half asleep and unspoken, as L hummed a laugh. "This post signifies the trials and errors it takes to get to your destination, Armin. Mello can't tell you how to get through them, you can only keep trying."

I took a breath. "But it's so difficult! Even the strongest of us keep falling on their asses due to the extreme pull of the earth! What can we do to get past it?! Especially with those stone rings he insists we carry!? It's been a month and a half and no progress has been made, even with all the training we've gone through!"

L's small and cheeky smile still stood. "Well, young Arlert, I can't answer that for you. But you were given help to do this in training, whether you believe it or not. You were given strength and discipline. When they work in tandem, you can reach great heights." He said as he looked up towards the blade, then back at me. "Why not give it a try?"

"I can't, Mello isn't here."

"I believe he said you needed a member of Haven to watch over you to prove you've done the exercise correctly. I am a member, therefor you may try."

I blinked at this before turning to the wooden box with the rings in them. "You think I should?"

He gave a pat on my back. "Go for it."

"Please do," Light said tiredly. "Maybe I can sleep for a bit before we have to go do chores."

I gave a short nod to the men before opening the box and looping the leathers onto my wrists.

"Remember," L began once again as he sat down to allow Light to lay down and nap, "When strength and discipline work together, you can reach greater heights."

I nodded once again before looking up towards the blade. I jumped onto the post, grabbing on with all of my might, and shimmied up. I only got about a quarter of the way there before I slid back down in failure. I tried again… and failed. And again I tried…

…and again, I failed.

I think I tried for another four times, each time getting a bit higher than before, until I finally gave in and gave up. The sun was rising anyway, and I needed to stop and rest for the training to come.

Sighing heavily, I went to take off the leather around my wrist… and noticed something peculiar.

The leather straps tied at our wrists were quite long and the rings dangled at the end in a way that almost hypnotized me. Together, along with my arms, they could reach around the post… …

A sudden realization hit me and I quickly looked over to L who was smiling at me with impish eyes.

"I swear, your family contains the smartest people." He said in encouragement. "It astounds me."

I smiled back before taking a step away from the post and tried a new tactic.

I threw the rings past the post and in the first try they looped together and tied into a tight knot. With enough strength, and plenty of discipline, I was sure I could make it to the top.

"Armin," L suddenly called me, making me look back in worry, "before you go up there, I want you to look at that blade and tell me what it is you want more than anything. Enough to work through trials and tribulations for, and to show that it means more to you than anything else on this earth. Your brother climbed that post because he wanted to keep you safe. That was his goal. As for your mother…" he admitted, "her goal was to do anything and everything for her family. For her husband and children. Now, what is _your_ goal?"

I blinked and slowly looked up towards the blade in both worry… and excitement.

I'd known what my goal was for a long time now.

I pulled myself up and the leathers and rings held me steady. "I want to find the sea!"

And I climbed…

…

…and climbed…

…

…

…and climbed…

…

…and right as the sun peaked over the horizon of the wall, my hand made connection to the pommel of the blade and I pulled myself up and onto the top.

I'd done it!

I looked out over the horizon and was amazed to see a vast land mass in front of me that reached on for miles and miles before me. In the distance, way off behind the trees and valleys too far for me to reach, I could make out a blue tinge over-lining the trees that covered what I could only guess to be Haven.

The sea.

I took in a breath of the fresh air and revelled in the free feeling of the wind in my face. I barely noticed the cries of victory and cheering below me, but when I did I saw a tiny people all cheering for me from below. Out of the corner of my eye though, I could see Mello and Matt on top of the roof of the mess hall looking on in pure amazement.

I heard the man laugh below me, still on the roof. "Well, baby brother, you did it! You made it to the blade, and everyone witnessed it upon waking! I believe you've earned the rights to elite training! You and your companions down here!"

Another cheer rang out and I smiled.

Once Matt got them calmed down, Mello then announced something that almost made me fall right off the post.

"From now on, we will continue our training. But now, it will be _outside_ the walls."

I could feel everyone's excitement from down below, but none heavier than my own. I couldn't believe we'd be leaving the walls for training!

Mello drew his blade and held it up with the other hand. "You'll have to learn how to use your new gear somewhere. And where better than outside the walls? For today, however, we celebrate!"

Another cheer rang out and I pulled the blade from the post. Using said blade, slipping the rings over my shoulder instead, I jammed it into the side of the wooden post and slid down expertly to greet my comrade's congratulations and pats on the back. Eren and Mikasa were most thoroughly impressed, along with Jean, Annie, and just about all the other trainees. I'm too sure none of them thought it possible for me to climb that post, but I'm glad it had been me.

Something in me thought it was only right I carry the family tradition. But I highly doubted even Mello knew our mother had done this exact exercise in a past.

So what else did this L character know that he wasn't sharing?

I saw the man himself smile at me before turning away proudly and dragging Light behind him. The look on his face said it all.

He definitely knew _something_.


	37. Chapter 37

_**A/N: Hey, quick update! I made a few adjustments to fit the story better, but it's nothing really too noticeable, so it should be fine to read. :)**_

 _ **(You should know what I changed if you're an avid fan)**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, reviews are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Jean P.O.V)**

 _"Why not talk to him?" Marco insisted. "You never know, he may like you."_

 _"Why do you insist that I have this nonexistent crush on that guy?!" I growled out. "He's friends with that over-preachy freak Eren anyway. Lord knows he won't even speak to me if I did like him."_

 _"You're denying it, Jean. I know you are." He said slyly. "Just talk to him."_

 _"No!" I finalized, grabbing the cloth I used as a towel. "Now quit bugging me so that I may shower in peace!"_

 _"Why can't you just fess up your feelings?" He asked. "I've seen the way you look at him…"_

 _"You mean Mikasa." I corrected. "I've had a thing for her for a while…"_

 _"No, Armin." He shot back. "You look at him the same way you looked at Mikasa the first time around before she showed her loyalties to Eren. Just come out and admit it already! Ymir and Krista are more than open about their loyalties. There's no shame in it!"_

 _I ignored the guy before storming out the door and heading for the outdoor showers. It was a pretty cool night, but the summer day had made it almost unbearably hot so it rolled in through the night when the sun went down. I usually showered around this time because the cool water kept me asleep at night until the morning when we'd have to start training again._

 _I walked over to the showers, expecting to be alone as per usual, when I heard the spray of water hit my ears and realized someone else was taking up the showers._

 _To my immediate dismay, I saw a familiar blonde washing away the day's filth in the public showers. The only thing to be shown was his head and torso._

 _I froze in my place and fully realized that I wasn't alone in this situation._

 _The public showers were used for cleaning off right after the training day was done, with males in one while females took up another. It wasn't usually crowded since most people took to the indoor showers, but some preferred the outdoor ones due to the fresh air and cooler water._

 _I guess Armin was one of them._

 _I bit down my blush and went for the shower a few pipes down from him. I hated it when Marco was right so I always fought him on the subject of Armin. But he'd been correct. I did have certain feelings for him, but I pushed them aside. He was Eren's best friend and much more if you looked between the lines. I couldn't go after him or Mikasa… it was just not my luck._

 _Armin looked over when he heard the squeak of the shower door before looking away._

 _"Hi," came his timid response._

 _I grumbled before stripping away my trousers and turning on the shower. The cold water was nice on after training in the humid sun all day. But being mere steps from my desire, fully nude, I had to mentally stop myself from saying something I knew I'd regret._

 _It was dark out, and our only light was the small lanterns lit about around us. But something still seemed to catch the blonde's eye as he looked up into the sky with a small smile._

 _"It's nice out, isn't it." He whispered._

 _I dared to only look at his face. "What do you mean?"_

 _He nodded up at the sky. "The sky is clear, the stars are out, and it's quiet. I wish it was always like this."_

 _I scoffed at the dream-like words. "Tomorrow the day begins again, though."_

 _He shook his head. "No, it won't. Tomorrow is up there. It's in the darkened sky getting ready to become light again. The same day does not repeat twice, and the same events won't happen again. Tomorrow someone else will be commanded to do laps until they keel over, and another of us will do dishes. No day is the same, no hour is repeated. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery… and today is a gift." He smiled at his own words before turning off the water and clothing himself again. He then glanced at me with a sharper smile. "That's why it's called the present."_

I revelled in the memory until the horn blew for us to get up and get dressed for the new day of training. I'd remembered those words like a lesson from god itself. This shy and unassuming kid had captured my heart that night and I was too chicken to stop him from leaving and tell him just how beautiful I thought his words were.

I slipped on my shirt and paused for a moment to watch the others for a moment.

No two person, no two days, and no two hours are exactly alike. Annie slept an extra few minutes, Krista and Ymir were closer than before, Connie and Sasha were planning something new to take out of storage, Reiner woke up Bertolt this time with a pillow to the head, and Eren was getting Mikasa to stop treating him like a child by waking him up. Things changed every day, and it would keep doing that for always and eternity. The one thing I'd like to know more than anything, though was if Armin had changed his mind again and was closer to choosing me than Eren.

I didn't intend to bother him about it, but I'd still like to know.

I stepped outside early today to watch the world go by from the barracks. It was always interesting to watch people when they didn't know.

Mello was listening to Matt explain about the newer gear they'd let us use today, the blonde hanging onto every word and stopping the red head with a kiss when he talked too much. Light was trying to drag L out of the barracks by the chain, but the black haired man did not intend on moving at all within the next hour. Naomi and Penber were working on a battle plan together, Ross and Rester were carrying about some materials, Lidner was helping Pixis with some battle strategies, Gevanni was resting in the shade with Near, and the Survey Corps – Corporal Levi, Erwin Smith, and Hanji – were waiting for Mello to give the orders to move out and clear a path for us for when we left. All of this seemed the same as yesterday, but I could tell the differences in circumstance.

I felt a presence rest beside me and heard a familiar hum.

"I used to watch people all the time as a kid." Armin spoke softly. "Me and Mihael would watch people together and give them their own voices and lazy backstories. It was fun spending time with him when he could spare it."

I smiled at that. "I would have killed for an older brother. Being an only child was nice in the fact that I had my mother all to myself, but I had no one to really teach me and take me places all the time. I'm guessing you have a lot of memories with him."

"Him and Eren." He admitted. "They kept me sane in this crazy world."

I nodded at this before turning to him. "Armin, I'm sorry for scaring you with that… erm… kiss. I shouldn't have done something so forward like that, and I just want you to know…"

I felt a pair of lips touch my cheek and my mind went hazy. I honestly couldn't remember what I was saying a moment ago. I knew I was apologizing, but that was about it.

The blonde smiled shyly. "Don't worry about it." He then gestured over to Mello. "It's my brother you should really worry about. In his mind I'm still ten and innocent. He'll tear you apart if he gets even a whiff of information that you've scared me in any way. I managed to save your butt last time by telling him not to hurt you, but you may not be lucky again."

I felt a slight blush rush to my cheeks that couldn't fade away. "I'll keep that in mind. Thanks."

The blonde turned to walk away but I stopped him by grabbing his arm. "Wait, I just need to tell you… don't worry about your choice. I know you'll make the right one and I don't want you to think you owe me or Eren anything. We were childish to fight about this and you deserve better. So… don't think too much about it. I'll always be your friend no matter what, I promise."

He grinned at me and nodded before walking off and leaving me behind. What I didn't tell him was that it'd kill me to see him with someone else… but I knew I couldn't do that to him. His happiness was what mattered most.

…

…even if it meant my misery.


	38. Chapter 38

_**A/N: Hey, quick update! I made a few adjustments to fit the story better, but it's nothing really too noticeable, so it should be fine to read. :)**_

 _ **(You should know what I changed if you're an avid fan)**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, reviews are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Matt P.O.V)**

"Well, it looks like they're all getting the hang of the new three dimensional gear." I remarked to Mello, watching the students zip past the trees from our post. "It took a bit, but I'm glad to see them all getting it down now."

The blonde hummed in response. "I'm glad as well. Lord only knows it took me forever to get used to the gear in general. At least they've learned to use it properly now."

I grinned at this and turned back to the students.

The new gear had a few alterations made to it that could surpass any old gear we once used beforehand. For instance, the nozzle that released the air was now smaller, but more effective. It propelled the person at a faster pace and a quieter burst. It was perfect for surprise attacks as well as stealth missions. Along with this the tethers than kept us airborne were quieter on the release and had new hooks to them that were stronger and less likely to break. The tanks used up less air now, and the blades were thinner and lighter than before but ten times more deadly. On the trek into the woods we'd even come across a titan that Mello dispatched in one decapitating blow. The blades were even tempered with a new substance that Lidner had made to make the blood roll off and keep them cleaner. Levi, out of all of us, was most happy with this.

And now almost everyone had their own better gear. Those that didn't change were the senior members. And that was only because they'd been using the older stuff for years and they found no reason to switch to new gear now.

The one issue with the newer gear was that it was fast for the recruits, which means you really had to stay balanced when you zipped through the air. One student to get it right off the bat had been Mikasa, of course, but the others were still having issues.

Eren mostly.

I watched on as the brunette zipped past a line of trees before his boot caught a branch and he went tumbling. Jean and Connie following suit. Annie got past them along with Ymir and Krista, but when Krista fell Ymir immediately fell right after her after an initial shock of watching her partner fall. Annie still got the hang of it, and Armin didn't do too bad either, Reiner and Bertolt struggled slightly, and Sasha fell flat on her face the first few tries.

All in all, they were getting it…

…but in little spades.

I heard Mello sigh heavily. "It's difficult to get used to the speed."

I chuckled at this. "Maybe they need a demonstration?"

He shook his head. "It wouldn't help. They need to feel it for themselves."

I nodded in agreement. "I guess you're right." I then looked down at a certain blonde who was carving through the trees masterfully and cleanly. "Armin is doing well."

"He should. My father taught us well."

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

The blonde took a moment before looking towards Armin. "Our father always taught us to balance our acts. To never choose one side or the other unless you knew the cold hard facts. He taught us that there's more to life than what we're shown, that the world is a giant and wondrous place. It gave us hope and tenacity. It gave us a reason to speak our minds and dream. Armin was always the bigger dreamer than I, and he always talked about either the sea or the stars." I then noticed the small grin on his face. "I remember he wished for the stars in the sky to dance in his room for his fifth birthday, and I promised him that I'd pluck as many stars as I could for him. On the morning of his birthday, I snuck outside Shiganshina with the help of Hannes and I grabbed as many fire bugs as I could before daylight made them disappear. That night, I set them free in our room so they could dance for him." His smile widened. "I can't remember a time when he was happier."

I couldn't help the smile creeping up on me. "You're a good brother, Mello."

He shrugged. "I'd do anything for my family. Even the impossible."

I hummed a laugh at this. "You really are something. I can't tell if I fell for you because of your heart, or that big sexy brain of yours."

"If you're smart," he replied, "you'll say you fell for my brain, _and_ my looks to go along with it."

"I couldn't fall for your looks." I admitted, dragging him in to my side. "There's too much to look at for me to have fallen for it all."

"Is this your way of being suave?" He retorted. "Because it's not working."

"It must be if you're not pushing me away." I countered.

An eye roll was his only response. "Call them in, we'll head back for camp now."

I did as commanded and called in the students. From then on we walked back towards the camp, everyone too tired and beaten up to use the gear. On this walk back to camp I got to ask Armin more about his little kerfuffle with the two boys fighting over him.

He was hesitant to answer, but since we were at the back of the group I managed to reassure him that we'd go unheard.

"Well…" he spoke softly, "I… I'm not sure what to say."

"You don't have any inclination as to who you might choose?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I mean… both of them are… nice…"

"Armin," I spoke up, "I'm not your brother. You can tell me more about this than you can with him."

He huffed. "I wish he'd tell me who to pick."

"He can't do that, blondie. He can only tell you to follow your heart. So tell me, what is your heart saying?"

He took a moment to think it over before turning to me. "Well… Eren and I have been friends for a long time. He's nice, he takes care of me and stands up for me. I've known him longer and he's always trusted me above anyone else. But with Jean… I don't know. I can talk to Jean and I know he'll listen. He's kind, even if he won't show it too often, and he has his own opinions. I can speak with him and he'll listen and speak back. It isn't one-sided."

I nodded at this. "Okay then, now tell me the negatives for them."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

I chuckled. "You think there aren't negatives to the positives? I love Mello with all my heart, but there's usually a negative to him. He's brash and outspoken, he doesn't care what you think half the time, and he dresses like a slutty bar of chocolate when he wears those leathers. But his positives, the kindness and loving attitude, the smile he makes when he's truly happy, and so many others… it all outweighs the negatives. I can't dislike Mello because I love everything about him. Even the negatives some days."

He hummed at this before looking at the ground. "Well… I guess, for Jean's negatives, I would have to say that he's brash as well, unthinking and uncaring, doesn't have too much respect for authority, and he always speaks like he's higher in the food chain than any other person."

"Okay," I replied thoughtfully. "So then what about Eren?"

He was silent for what felt like forever. I could just tell by the look on his face that he was afraid to say whatever was on his mind.

Thankfully, he had.

"I'm afraid of him." He admitted. "I always have been. I know he would never intentionally hurt me, but he has in the past. Not physically, but emotionally. Every time he got angry he took it out on me, he spoke to me like I was a moron. I know he doesn't really think that, but when he gets angry… he gets scary. Like he's not even human anymore. I guess he isn't because of his titan abilities, but even before then he acted in anger. Yes, he stood up for me, and he always made me feel better about myself when he wasn't angry, but as soon as his anger flared I knew if I stayed silent I wouldn't get the worst of it. And I don't know if I can live like that with him."

I blinked in shock at this and had to turn away to keep from reading his face. "So then… why fall for him?"

Another bout of silence before he admitted the truth to me.

"Because I didn't think anyone else would care about me like he did."

I bit my lip at this and tried not to tear up. The poor kid had been dealing with that angry little brunette for so long that he couldn't find a way out anymore. Maybe Eren did care about him, but I doubt that he did more than he said.

I put an arm around the blonde and pulled him into a hug. "You don't owe him anything, Armin. If you're that scared of him…"

"I've been afraid of things since I was young." He admitted. "Eren was the only one to ever yell at me and it's my fault for not speaking up when I should have. I was a coward, and childish. I got walked on and beaten up all the time. I'm not like that anymore, and I know Eren wouldn't hurt me. Not physically. I trust him with my life, and I'll defend him to the death. Even if he isn't someone I love on a personal level, he's my best friend. And I'll be damned if I watch him get maimed or killed in front of me."

I hugged him a bit tighter and chuckled. "You and Mello share more than you think. But again, you don't owe him anything. You need to do what your heart tells you, even if it means getting slightly hurt in the process. Eren's not a child anymore, he's a man. He can take a little heartache."

I heard a slight hum come from him and he looked up at me. "You think I should choose Jean."

I looked down at the kid and gave a slight grin. "Let's put it this way, I know neither one of them want to hurt you… but I know one of them is capable of doing so, even if it were an accident. My opinion shouldn't matter to you, but along with Mello I will fight for you should something go wrong. You understand?"

He nodded. "Thanks. I think I needed to hear that."

"Follow your heart, Armin. It will lead you to better places."

"And here I thought using my head was the safer option."

"Safer? I can't guarantee that. I just know that your heart is your guide in the world of love and relationships."

"It can get you into trouble though." He reminded me.

"Oh, I know! I ended up with Mello, remember!"

A boot to my face was the response from an elder blonde near the front of the group. I still laughed at his reaction, even if it did bloody my nose.

When he came to retrieve his boot, he looked me in the eye daringly.

"I let 'slutty chocolate bar' slide, but that was crossing it!" He redressed his foot then looked at his brother. "Don't end up like me, brother. You'll regret it."

The man walked away then and I couldn't help the chuckle.

"He's lying! He totally loves me!"

"So that blood under your nose is just the overflowing of love sent to you from his boot?" He asked in a snarky tone.

"Exactly!" I joked, closing my nostril to stop the blood. "The man adores me!"

"Like a sliver, Jeevas!" Came Mello's reply.

"Love you too, hun!" I replied back happily.

I heard Armin giggle before saying, "You two were made for each other, I swear it."

I smiled at this. "He is my soul mate!"

"Sure, Jeevas!" Mello yelled back at me.

"I love you too much…" I began singing, my nose still closed and warping my voice, "to live without you loving me back!"

I heard a groan from the man as he turned to look at me. "Save it for when we get back to camp, and you can sing without sounding like you're a demented duck!"

"Oh come on! You know this voice is sexy on me!"

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

I couldn't help the silent giggles as I watched the back and forth between the two. I admit, the two were perfect for each other. Where Mello was serious and kept things in order, Matt was his opposite and got him to have fun and be crazy some days. The two needed each other to stay grounded.

So then… who did I need?

I shook the thought aside and watched the show in front of me.

"Come on, Mels! You know I'm sexy!" Matt called to Mihael.

"Like a titan, Mattie!" He replied sarcastically.

"Yes, EXACTLY like a titan! Thanks for noticing!"

The group shared in a laugh and the battle truly began.

"I think you're misinterpreting, Matt." Mihael spoke up. "Titans don't have genitalia."

The group Oohed at this and Matt's jaw dropped to the floor. "Oh? No, no, I think I'm hearing you correctly because aren't titans those large beefy organs that never stop no matter how hard you pound away at them?!"

The whole group looked on to watch the show now and it was just golden the little back and forths they threw at each other.

Mello was silent for a moment before turning around again and walking backwards. "That may be true until you hit that little spot that makes them go limp… and they're never seen again."

A few claps were heard at this and Matt retorted with,

"Well you must be mistaken, because last I was told I was sharp as a blade and twice as thick."

"That may be true, but it means you get dull over time."

"Not with a good 'sharpening'." He implied.

Mello went beet red and looked off somewhere else to think of a comeback. The whole time the group was whooping and cheering for Matt.

I bumped into Jean while walking and found him enjoying the little show. "Those two were meant for each other."

I giggled. "I agree."

In no time, Mello came up with something.

"Fine Matt, you can have that victory. I feel bad for embarrassing you anyway. Lord knows you 'embarrass' yourself enough."

A round of oohs rang out among them, but Matt was quick.

"Well, you must be a sadist then because you keep 'coming' back for more."

The crowd cheered him on and I could see Mello visibly give up and wave off the red head.

But Matt only took this as a victory.

"Come on, Mels! Don't sulk! You did alright with the comebacks! Of course if I wanted more comeback I'd just wipe it off-"

"Finish that sentence and I will never service you again!" Came the threat.

And the game was over.

We all turned our heads at this and just kept walking.

"Back to business." Jean muttered to me, making me giggle.

"Not for Matt." I muttered back.

The red head was just as cocky as every and decided to push it just a bit further.

"Mels, you know you love me! You can't be mad forever!"

A glare at the man was the blonde's response.

But of course, Matt wasn't afraid.

And then came the singing, making Mello smile in response. "If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, come on blondie let me know!"

I couldn't help the smile when I saw Matt drag Mihael into his arms and start dancing. I just found it adorable how much this red head loved my brother enough to always try and joke around with him and get him out of his sour mood. It was sweet and loving, and I just knew the two were made to be together.

I heard Jean hum next to me and say, "They look happy together. I've never seen love like that before."

"Not even with your mother?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Like I said, my mother was usually raising me alone. I always thought it was normal until I met a few friends who had dads with them. But I never saw them react _that_ way with their wives."

"I think it passes eventually." I stated. "Nothing lasts forever."

"I'd never want it to pass." He admitted. "I'd love to stay that happy and carefree with someone."

I grinned at this and looked away. "I know what you mean. To be less serious all the time and just find the happiness. Matt knows all about that. His beginning was so serious he just didn't like it… so he made a joke of it. Maybe that's why Mello loves him. Because even in the wake of fear and negativity, Matt does everything in his power to make people laugh. And it works."

The man before me chuckled. "Even when he lost Mello?"

I tried to think back on it and I nodded. Even when he was silent and sad he still made others laugh in any way he could. Even if he was sad and alone, he didn't want others to feel that way.

"Matt is a good guy." I admitted. "And I'm glad my brother chose him."

Jena only nodded. "It makes me less of a target when he's happy, that's for sure."

"You're only a target because he knows your intentions with me. Had you simply stayed quiet long enough Eren probably would have been his target."

"Not possible." He cemented. "Going silent for one more day I would have lost my mind. Then again… you wouldn't have to be making a choice, now would you?"

"I'm getting there." I confessed. "I just need to be sure…"

"Take your time." He stated. "Eren can wait for rejection another day."

An elbow to his side made him laugh but he quickly apologized and told me once more than no matter who I chose he wouldn't be angry at me. He even went as far as saying that he'd support me no matter what.

And… I liked hearing that. The thought of getting support helped me further my decision.

But I still felt a nagging in the back of my mind. One that wouldn't let me be. Jean or Eren… the choice seemed simple enough, but I still wasn't sure.

I looked up towards Mello and Matt and marvelled in their loving connection. Out of anything that was what I wished for. A connection stronger than steel. Who I shared it with was the real question.

"Hey, I wanted to ask you…" Jean began, "err… well, I was wondering if we could go stargazing again tonight. It's supposed to be clear and I wanted to learn about a few more constellations."

I grinned at the request and nodded. "Sure thing. I'll meet you in the field after curfew. I'm sure Mello wouldn't care."

"He will if he finds out I plan to take some food to go along with the night." He admitted.

"If you say nothing, neither will I." I promised.

His smile was his only response.

Funny… I never realized how handsome his smile was until now.


	39. Chapter 39

_**A/N:**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, reviews are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Eren P.O.V)**

I was seething at this. I couldn't believe Armin was falling for this guy and his act! Jean didn't care for anyone other than himself and he knew it! Yet still the blonde agreed to this… date with him! Why couldn't he see that this was a bad idea!?

I grit my teeth together and stared up at the ceiling from my cot. My attitude did not go unnoticed by the others.

"He's jealous." Ymir whispered to Krista. "It's almost adorable!"

"Can you blame him?" Connie whispered to her. "He's losing his man to another. Plus the fact that Mello doesn't trust him anymore…"

"Would you all shut up!" I yelled at them, sitting up from my bed. "I'm not losing Armin to anyone, especially horse face! I'll prove it!"

I stood up and headed for the door but was stopped by a hand on my elbow. When I turned back I saw Annie looking at me with her usual – yet slightly concerned – glare.

"Eren, if you know what's good for you, and Armin, you'll stay here and not say a word. Maybe you two just weren't meant for each other."

"What are you talking about?" I growled, forcing my arm away from her. "I've known Armin since we were children! We've been best friends since… ever!"

"But that doesn't always mean things should escalate between friends. Armin obviously is torn between you and Jean, but he still found it within his heart to spend some one on one time with Jean instead of you. Think rationally about this, Yeager. Think about Armin's happiness before yourself."

"I am thinking about his happiness." I seethed. "And I know Jean is no good for him! The man is toxic, he's… he's selfish and greedy!"

"Are you kidding!?" Connie made himself known. "Jean would do anything for Armin! I saw him comfort the guy after he and his brother had that fight, he never left his side during that entire hunt you guys went on, and he always listens to Armin when he needs an ear. I think you just won't accept the fact that Jean is better suited to him than you are!"

I lunged at the guy for a moment but was stopped by Annie. She seemed incredibly concerned with my anger considering her usual temperament.

"Eren," she spoke softly, "don't do something you'll regret."

I smacked her hand away and head for the door. "Then I won't allow Armin to get hurt."

One step out the door and the girl sighed heavily.

"If you stop this, you _will_ be hurting him."

Those words stung me somewhat but I pushed the feeling aside and head for the field. I knew Armin would be stargazing with Jean tonight since he'd confessed to it earlier, but he said nothing about it being personal to his choices and feelings.

Bullshit. I knew what this was. It was a chance to get closer to the man and leave me in the dust.

Well, I won't allow it.

* * *

 **(Jean P.O.V)**

I checked the pack I had for everything I'd manage to get. Enough food for Armin and myself, some drinks, and even some of those taffies I knew he liked. I just wanted this night to be perfect, no matter how cheesy it may look in the end.

I crossed over the training grounds where the post was and heard a faint and familiar chuckle form above.

"You really are a sap deep down, aren't you?" Came the familiar voice.

I hid the pack behind me and looked up to meet Mello's eyes. "What's it to you?!"

He jumped down from the roof of the mess hall and strode up to me and grabbed my pack. "Stealing? Really? You honestly could have just asked for some food."

"With the shortage going on," I made a grab for the pack, failing miserably, "I doubt you would have ponied up any food."

"Oh, but you'd be mistaken." He handed the pack back to me. "I'd do anything for my brother's happiness. You know that, I assume."

I blinked in confusion. "What are you trying to say?"

He crossed his arms and looked down for a moment before replying with, "I want Armin to be happy. And I can see he's much happier with you than he'll admit."

I grinned at this. "Really?"

His face contorted to a glare once more. "Yes, but remember that he's still my brother. I'll still defend him to the death."

I nodded in a bit of fear. "Understood."

He took a breath. "That being said… I do trust you to take care of him. More than I do Eren."

This surprised me enough to ask why. I mean, he'd known Eren much longer than he'd known me, so why was the trust one-sided here?

"Ever since Eren showed himself to being a shifter I haven't trusted him too much. He builds his power around anger and malice, and were he to become too angry one day… my brother maybe his next victim. The thought scares me, but I can't tell my brother who to give his love to. I can only pray that he'd make the right decision. And so far… he's been doing alright."

I bit my lip slightly and grasped down on the pack. "You think Eren would hurt him?"

He nodded. "Unintentionally… but yes. And I can't bear to see that happen to him. So, as much as I hope he'll follow his heart and make the right choice for him, I also hope that he'll choose you. I know you won't hurt him in the degree that Eren could, and I know you've been the kindest to him since this whole training regimen began with me. He needs someone who would care for him and keep him safe, but believe in him and trust him to always make the right choice. And I believe you fit the bill."

I grinned at this and gave him a short salute. "Thank you. It means a lot to me that you have so much trust in myself."

He nodded once more with a small grin of his own before walking off towards the barracks. He stopped for a moment though to remind me of something very important to him.

"And just so you remember, if my brother does choose you over Eren, I won't like you. I will never like you. Because to me, my brother is a rose and you're nothing more than a weed in the shadow of his brilliance. But there's not much I can do about it, now can I? Not if he cares about his little weed of a partner."

I rolled my eyes at this before smiling brightly. "You only think I'm a weed. But I have time to grow on you yet."

"Never," he stated, "not while you're with Armin."

And he head off to the barracks, grinning ear to ear. Somehow I felt he liked me more than he let on. He just didn't want to let me know about it.

I continued my walk towards the field and found Armin there waiting for me. I apologized for being late and the stargazing began.

He taught me a few more constellations, Leo, Gemini, Pisces, Orion, Sagittarius, and we branched off from that into comets that were seen years ago through telescopes and other devices. We talked about the stars being used as compasses and directional figures for people to find their way back home most of the time, and Armin even went off in his own little spiel about him and his family making stories about the stars and their pictures. The whole time he spoke I just listened and marvelled in his wondrous voice. Out of everyone I'd met here, out of everyone I'd come to befriend, I'd completely fallen for the blonde beside me. And to think, had I not stopped and listened, had I not cared to speak with him, I'd have never felt this way.

I remember writing letters to my mother long before I'd confessed to Armin about my feelings and had told her about how I didn't know how to handle them. Her next letter told me that I should just fess up and say something to him and make it easier on him and myself. I guess she never expected Eren to go on a bit of a rampage and start kicking my ass for even thinking of being with the blonde.

But what could I help?

…

I loved him.

After snacking on the food I brought we lay back on the grass and just talked. No real rhyme or reason to it. Just… talked.

"What else do you think is up there?" I asked. "Behind the stars and past the darkness?"

The blonde was quiet for a moment before a small hum broke through.

"Who knows. Maybe another world unlike ours? Maybe something peaceful where there's no hate and worry? But to think that there's so much more out there, that the stars could be more or even the mood and sun… to think that it will always be forever beyond our reach. It scares me almost."

"Why is that?" I asked.

I felt the blonde cuddle up to me, still looking up at the sky. "Because it's all so large and unexplored. Because there are places and things unseen to the human eye. Things we can never touch or see or explain. It's all a mystery, and we've only seen the tiniest bit of the world around us."

I placed a hand on his head and combed through his hair. "You'll see the world someday. I know it. And when you do, then the sky's the limit. Just shoot for the moon, and if you miss you'll be among the stars."

I felt him nuzzle into me slightly before looking up at me with his wondrous smile. "Thank you, Jean. I'm glad I have you around."

I sat so I could pull him into a side hug. "And I'm glad to have you in my life. Lord knows you're the only sane person in this training facility."

Without thinking I kissed the top of his head, but backed away and apologized when I realized what I'd done. It was honestly just instinctual but I knew it was the incorrect thing to do.

Armin didn't seem taken aback by this, but I could see on his face that he was confused about his choice once again.

"Jean… why did you kiss me back then? Why did you confess?"

I blinked at this and tried to force down the blush. "I… I don't…"

The look in his eye made my heart stop. The broken and unsureness in them that screamed for an answer for my actions. A real answer, and not something half assed and meaningless. He truly wanted to know why I cared for him.

So… I told the truth.

I took his hand in mine and just let it out.

"Armin, from the moment I first got to know you, and I first listened to your thoughts and feelings, I have never wanted my world to be silent again. I loved to revel in your thoughts and think of my own scenarios as well. You made me think and learn, and I just… I couldn't have fallen for anyone else. No one else made me feel this way."

I kissed his hand lovingly before looking in his bright blue eyes once more.

"I love you."

I didn't say this to hear it back from him. I truly and honestly meant it, and I didn't want to go another day without him knowing the truth. I feared his rejection, of course I did, but I feared never letting him know more than his rejection. He needed to know someone loved him, even if he didn't really believe it.

When he said nothing in return and let go of his hand and apologized. When I went to stand up I felt a hand stop me and I turned to see the blonde looking at me in a way I'd never seen in him before. At least… not to this intensity.

He gripped down on my arm and smiled.

"Do you mean that?" He asked nervously.

I nodded slightly. "With all my heart."

And that was it for words.

A pair of lips pressed against mine and I felt like my head might explode at any moment. He'd made his choice. And he'd chosen me. And when I kissed him back I revelled in the way our lips pressed together perfectly and in tune. It was a feeling of complete and utter joy and perfection in my heart at knowing Armin wanted me.

Me… and not Eren.

 **(Eren P.O.V)**

I was shaking. I couldn't tell if it was in anger or sadness, but I was shaking. I'd lost everyone. My mother, my father, and now Armin. It just wasn't fair.

I watched in horror and disgust as the two continued their kiss. Armin made his choice…

…

…and so had I.

I felt a bubbling of anger and hatred rise in me and I swear I could see red as I brought my hand to my teeth and bit down. Tears rolling down my face.

 _'I'll kill him,'_ I thought hatefully as the fleshy beast consumed me. _'I'LL KILL HIM!'_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

I knew Eren would be heartbroken. I knew he'd hate me forever for doing this. But I just didn't care at the moment.

Jean was rude and uncaring most times, but I knew deep down he was loving and emotional. Maybe the absence of his father caused him to grow up too soon, or maybe he just had a mask of bravado, but at the moment that mask was gone. He was sweet and caring and he loved me more than he could possibly say. More than Eren could even admit.

The kiss became heated and I couldn't help but deepen it further. I just didn't want the moment to end. I was too scared it was a dream.

But it wasn't a dream…

…it was a nightmare.

A crash of lighting filled the air and we broke apart in fear. Looking over towards the sound we could see a monstrous titan – Eren's titan – glaring at us in hatred and rage. His eyes were red and bold, and his his breathing low and laboured. This titan… this titan was not Eren's.

It was something much worse.

It gave a roar of pure and unadulterated rage and Jean pushed me away.

"Go and get your brother!" He commanded. "This isn't Eren!"

I looked between the two and noticed Eren's eyes were fixated on Jean.

This was not good.

"GO!" He yelled at me, making Eren roar once more and begin to chase after the man.

I ran out of the way of the titan feet about to stomp on me and made for the barracks. Thankfully, everyone had been woken up by this and were already getting ready to have a showdown with the titan Eren.

Mihael found me right away and asked me what was going on.

I shook in fear as I told him all I knew and he immediately knew what the problem was.

"Stay behind and let us handle this." He commanded. "You getting in the way of this will only make matters worse. Eren's angry and unforgiving at the moment so we need to subdue him."

"What about Jean?" I asked worriedly.

"We'll save him, don't worry." He reassured and kissed my head. "Just stay here and out of trouble!"

I nodded and he was off.

"Grab the blades but keep them at bay!" He commanded the soldiers. "We'll only use them if things get out of control!"

"They're out of control now!" Someone screamed.

Mihael immediately shut them up and soon they were off. If they were lucky they'd catch Eren before he got to the city, but I had a feeling Eren would get to Jean before that even.

I couldn't stand by and do nothing. I had to do _something_!

I got geared up, despite Mello's plea, and grabbed a horse from the stables and rode off into a shortcut through the woods. I'd head off Eren by the fields and get Jean out of there before anyone got severely hurt.

I kept ahead of the soldiers and met Eren near the end of the fields. He'd been searching through a clearing for Jean so I had to stay back and search quietly from afar for the man. Luck enough for me, I found him hiding low and behind a boulder where Eren hadn't yet looked. When I managed to scuttle over to him, quiet and staying alert, Jean immediately got angry at me for coming back into this mess.

I took his hand and calmed him down. "Eren's still my best friend, Jean. And the soldiers will kill him if he continues like this. I have to help."

"Are you insane!?" He whispered to me.

I gave him a hasty kiss before smiling. "I thought you loved my insanity."

I pushed him off towards where my horse was and commanded him to wait for me there while I spoke to Eren alone.

"Armin…" he said worriedly, "I don't want to lose you."

I smiled half-heartedly. "I told you, I trust Eren with my life. I know he won't hurt me."

"But…"

I didn't let him finish. I just came out from hiding and left Jean to his safety.

I ran up to the titan shifted Eren and he noticed me immediately, his eyes growing redder and him growling at my presence.

I held up my hands in surrender. "Eren, you have to listen to me…!"

He roared in my face and I immediately feared for my life. "Please, Eren! You know I didn't mean to hurt you! I'm still your friend!"

His fist came down upon me and I rolled to the right for cover.

"EREN!" I screamed, tears falling down my face. "PLEASE, STOP THIS!"

Another attempt to hit me and this time Jean was the one to get me away from the danger.

I felt my heart crumble at this. "Eren?"

"That's not Eren." Jean spoke softly. "That's just his emotion in titan form. We need to get out of here!"

"But the soldiers…"

He hugged me in response. "Your brother will make sure his death is the very last straw in this battle. I promise you."

Eren roared in anger once more and went to hit once more and we dodged.

"Come on!" Jean commanded, taking my hand. "We have to get above him where he can't reach us!"

I nodded and followed him into the forest and up one of the trees before Eren could find us. The titan followed us inside of course but didn't know exactly where we are…

…

…until he started sniffing.

Eren had never used his titan senses before, always trying to maintain his humanity. But now… now he was truly a titan in this moment.

He found Jean immediately and went for the man, but in an act of desperation I jumped onto the titan's shoulder and tried to speak with him one last time.

"Please Eren, stop this! You aren't a titan! YOU AREN'T A MONSTER!"

My plea went unheard as this beast grabbed me with his oversized hand and threw me to the ground. The whole way down until blackness flooded my vision I thought about how Eren had betrayed me and our friendship.

No longer could I trust him with my life.

* * *

 **(Jean P.O.V)**

I watched in horror as Eren through the blonde to the ground and came after me in rage and fury. I honestly didn't care about him hurting or killing me anymore. I was too stunned and hurt to care.

How could he… how could he let Armin… how could he have hurt his friend like that!? THAT MONSTER!

Right as Eren reeled back his arm to hit me with his oversized fist, he was tackled to the ground by another titan and forced on his back until it was safe for me to get down to the ground and tend to the unconscious blonde.

I half expected to see Near's titan form taking on Eren, but it was someone completely different. It was a female-esque titan, and she was kicking the brunette's ass in this fight. She had him on the run to a point where he no longer cared about me or Armin. Just defeating this female.

The other soldiers finally came around and didn't bother to fight with the female since Eren was their main priority. Mello led the charge and commanded that everyone work around the female and subdue Eren at all costs. In a matter of seconds Eren was taken down and tied up with the strongest lines we had, a few breaking in the process. The female had him pinned to the ground the entire time the soldiers were tying up his wrists and ankles so that he could no longer move. When Eren officially could not get up or even move, he gave up the fight and just started roaring in rage and malice.

Since the female titan seemed to be on our side, Mello commanded for the soldier to leave her alone unless she moves to kill others.

Mello's attention then turned to his unconscious brother laying in my arms.

"What happened?!" He demanded from me, checking Armin's vitals.

I explained everything to him while choking down a few tears. I was so scared Armin had died, or at least had been crippled by the fall.

Mello told me his vitals seemed fine but we had to get him to the infirmary and get him fixed up. He may come out with a few broken bones from this, but he should be walking again in no time.

* * *

 **(Eren P.O.V)**

I didn't remember anything from the rampage except one thing. The scene of Jean walking away with Armin unconscious and unmoving in his arms. And that's when my humanity surfaced.

I looked up to see an almost familiar female face looking back down at me in disappointment.

 _"I told you you'd hurt him."_ Came a familiar voice. _"Now look at what you've done."_

I felt fear course through my body as I realized who I was looking at.

 _"Annie?"_


	40. Chapter 40

_**A/N:**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, reviews are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Mello P.O.V)**

"Anything else you wish to say?" I asked in finalization.

Annie stood there proudly with her head held high. "Just this, Commander; I've been this way for a long while. I've known shifting for as long as I've been aware of the world. I chose not to show them due to my own reasons, but I knew Yeager would hurt someone were I not to show myself to the world. I don't expect to be trusted as an ally anymore, but I will not use my powers again if asked of me. I trust your judgement, Mihael Keehl. You've demanded nothing but respect from us and I thank you for training me. Please do not fault me for hiding my secrets. We all have them."

I nodded to her and turned to the senior members of this court consisting of Dot Pixis, my father, Kitts Woerman, Hannes, Levi, Keith Shadis, and both L and Light.

"Gentleman, might I have your input?" I asked them.

Kitts was the first to speak. "My opinion doesn't seem to matter anymore, so why ask?"

"Because we need a party of eight to make a decision here and you were available." Levi spoke truthfully before turning to me. "As for her, I say let her into training along with that Near shifter you brought here."

"I second that." L joined in, Light nodding to the request.

The rest agreed to this and the matter was over with. Annie was sent on her way to tell Near about her joining in his own program of training, and then we got down to the real problem.

Eren.

"Personally," Kitts spoke up, "I don't want to say I told you so, but…"

"This is not the time for that." Pixis spoke up. "What matters is we find the cause of this outburst of his and we make sure this creature of his is never resurfaced."

"I can't say that it would be possible to do that, Commander." L spoke up. "He has very little training, and even Near is afraid to teach this one due to the outburst. It would seem that Eren's form is brought on by rage and hatred. That is something we cannot control ourselves. It has to be him to do so."

"Then what is our decision for him?" Shadis asked. "Throw him out into titan territory?"

Light shook his head. "No, he'd get eaten alive even in titan form. One outburst shouldn't be a death penalty."

"That outburst nearly killed Arlert's son, Yagami!" Kitts reminded him. "He's dangerous!"

My father raised his hand in order to calm them down. "Please gentlemen, let's be civil here. I know the acts of last night have left us all shaken, and I was indeed afraid for my son. But we cannot fully blame Eren for this outburst of his. I was told by Kirstein that Armin had indeed been the one to get himself into this trouble even after being told to stay out of the way. That was against protocol and his superior officers orders. He may be my son, but you're given direct orders for a reason, and he chose to ignore them. Isn't that right, Mihael?"

I bit down my anger and nodded. "Yes sir. Arlert disobeyed my orders."

"Then his injuries are on him. I cannot blame Eren for them since he was not in control of his form at the time."

I said nothing at this and lowered my head. I knew it was Armin's fault for going in when I told him not to, but dammit if I couldn't be angry at Yeager for what he did! My brother was in the infirmary clinging to his last ounce of life, and my own father wasn't angry enough to do something about it!? What an absolute coward!

My father could read me better than I thought I guess. "Is something troubling you, Mihael? Please speak."

I looked up at the man and felt my filter slowly erase itself.

"Armin disobeyed my orders, yes, but it was Eren's choice to shift into a titan. It was his choice to let his rage consume him and it was his choice to go after Jean no matter who he hurt along the way! I'm angry that I allowed this to happen, and I'm angry that Eren would do something as foolish as allow his guard to be down for a second and let himself become his own rage. But I am _furious_ that this all sent my brother to the infirmary where he could die at any second! To allow Eren anywhere close to my brother would be a shameful act on my part, not only as a commander, but as a brother! I don't care how long Yeager and my brother have known each other, he made a dangerous enemy sending my family member to intensive care!"

My father was the only one not cowering at my words. I knew for a fact that I sent fear into the others when I spoke, no matter how calm they looked about it. But my father? He was steady and steely eyed as ever. The man could not be fazed by my anger.

He took a step forward to me. "And you think _I_ am not angry? You think I don't want the child to be dealt with in the swiftest and harshest of ways? That was my son, Mihael. My youngest son who, for the past five years, I've known to be my only son. I wanted the best for him, and I prayed for his safety every day since joining the army. Yesterday I missed my chance to pray for him, and even now I feel like it was my fault for him getting hurt simply because I didn't pray to a false god! I love my sons, Mihael. I love my family. It's why I gave up an arm for them. Because I loved them. You know the feeling of giving something up for others, so you know how this makes me feel. But as a Captain and a father I must make the right choice for everyone and fit the sentence to the person and his crime. As a Commander, you must do the same. Eren Yeager was your student and he failed you. What will you do to punish him for his blatant disregard to your status?"

I choked down the tears forming in my eyes and looked over to the other men. They all seemed to be in agreement that this was my mess to deal with no matter how much I'd liked them to have dealt with it instead.

So what _would_ I do?

They waited patiently as I came up with the decision. If the punishment had to fit the person and their crime, not the titan, then I'd have to interrogate Eren.

I turned to the soldier by the door. "Bring in Yeager."

The soldier did so with the help of another and soon the brunette was dragged in to face us. His hands and feet were locked in heavy steel guards to stop him from biting and shifting into a titan, but with the look on his face – fear and sadness mixed with sorrow and heartbreak – I could tell he had no intention on fighting this.

When he was set in front of us, I began the interrogation.

"Eren Yeager," I spoke clearly, trying not to show my anger, "you were brought here due to your crime of treachery and treason to the Corps. How do you plead?"

He was quiet when he spoke but looked up at us all the same. "Guilty."

I heard whispers from the men behind me and I began to question him.

"Guilty? You don't wish to plead for innocence or insanity?"

He shook his head. "It was my fault for shifting into a titan. I let myself get consumed by anger and hatred. I did this… and now my best friend is hurt. I deserve whatever punishment you see fit."

I bit my anger down at this and paced in front of the boy. "Tell me why you allowed you anger to become so overwhelmed to a point where going into titan form was your only choice."

He spoke truthfully but quietly.

"I was hurt at seeing someone I loved with another. I hated them for doing this to me and…"

"And you went after them in order to kill them?" I spoke out of turn in a fit of anger.

He looked up at me with a plea in his eye. "No! Not both of them! Just… just Jean. I thought… I thought if I got rid of him… that…"

I looked away from the boy and paced back once again. "You're a fool for thinking that was an option."

"I know." He agreed. "And I'm ashamed of myself for doing this."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a breath to calm down. "I trained you in any way I could. I gave you my trust and my hand as a brother in arms, and I accepted you without question. Yet with all of this, and much more from your comrades, you choose to dishonour us and betray us in this form? And _why_? Because you were heartbroken? Because you lost someone to another?! Are you out of your mind, Yeager, or do you really just not care about anyone else other than yourself!?"

He said nothing. He just hung his head in shame and stared at the floor.

I could tell he regret what he did. I could tell he was angry at himself for doing something this barbaric and stupid. And I could also tell that he had an idea of what we were going to do with him as a punishment.

I took another breath. "What exactly is the punishment that suits this crime, do you think?"

For a long moment he said nothing. He merely stared at the ground in contemplation and sorrow. When he did look up, his answer surprised me.

"No mercy. Full capital punishment. My remains fed to titans and my name blacklisted from ever being repeated. I made a terrible mistake and I know I'm not worthy of being a soldier if I allow feelings and emotions to overlook my mindset. I will not fight you, I will not beg for my life, and I will not run away. My punishment should fit the crime."

He lowered his head once more and awaited my final verdict.

I looked over to the men behind me and all of them showed trust in my judgement. Even my father nodded at me, as if he knew exactly what I was about to choose.

I took yet another, shaky, breath. "Eren Yeager; for the crime of treason and dishonour, I will not end your life."

A few people around me were speaking and muttering something about my foolishness but I ignored them.

They quickly shut up due to my reason anyway.

"You will live with this mistake. You will forever be looked down upon and without trust until you've proven otherwise. Your friends no longer exist. Your trust no longer with us. My hand will not outstretch to you for help or redemption. You will not attend my classes, you will not be trained by me, and you will not train within my confines. For the duration of training I want you to go with Near and train with him in Haven until he can safely reassure me that you are worthy of my training once more. Failure to follow my sentence and I'll have no choice but to leave you in Haven in complete isolation. If you return without me or one of my comrades in this isolation, then you will be thrown to the titans where you belong. Am I understood?"

He nodded, a tear in his eye.

I turned away from him. "Get him out of my sight."

The soldiers took him away and soon the boy was gone. All that was left was to deal with the senior members.

"You made the right choice," Levi spoke. "It was the correct sentence for him. Fitting his innocence and the crime together is something difficult to accomplish."

"Agreed." My father joined in. "Eren needs the isolation and proper training."

"Are you all fucking insane!?" Kitts exclaimed. "He'll just do it again!"

"We don't know that." L explained. "It sounds as though he doesn't even remember his time in his raging state. Near needs to train him properly so this doesn't happen again and we can get more information out of this."

"The punishment fits the crime in a way where he is still penalised with having to live with his mistake." Light explained. "He'll have to live the rest of his life knowing his trust is limited to none in the eyes of others."

"Not only that," Pixis added, "but he's lost his friends and comrades, and the respect of his superiors. Something he will have to regain in time."

Shadis nodded. "He was a good student of mine, and I believe he can be trusted again when he's not consumed by his emotions. It may take some time, but he can rebuild himself. Excellent work, Keehl. Your mother would be proud. Damn woman could work her way around any courtroom, eh Memphis?!"

My father smiled slightly. "That's why I fell for her. Looks and brains with an attitude to boot. A giggle in her talk and a wiggle in her walk. And her voice could break your heart without even trying. God I love that woman."

I smiled slightly as I watched Shadis pat his back and the senior members began to depart.

Once it was just me and my father we agreed to head over to the infirmary and check on our patient.

I felt a hand pat my back. "You did well, my boy. You didn't let your feelings make to sentence and you allowed yourself to be shown as a true and trusting commander. I'm proud of you."

I nodded at this. "Thank you." I then chuckled slightly. "What was all that you said about mom?"

He chuckled as well. "If you knew anything about your mother's past, you'd know she used to strut about this place and command the other soldiers in ways no one else could. She struck fear into their hearts and made them bleed in love and envy. The only one that she couldn't scare was me. She had a heart of gold, and a voice like honey. Her walk as proud and her head held high. In fact… you almost remind me of her."

I smiled proudly at this. "Where do you think my strut came from? You?"

He shrugged. "I can't really tell. After meeting your mother I strut like a noble with a pole up his butt to get her to notice me. I ended up with a bruised soul and sharp pain in my groin for two weeks before I figured out a new strategy."

I shook my head at this. "No wonder Armin is hard-headed. He gets it from you!"

He scoffed. " _You're_ one to talk."

A light punch to his side was my answer to him before we continued on. It felt nice to spend some time with my father – circumstances being what they were – and I felt like we were back home once again. If only I could tell him about my plan of relocation though. Would he even go for it? Wold he allow it?

I sighed to myself and kept walking. _'Another time, Mihael.'_

…

Another time.


	41. Chapter 41

_**A/N: Honestly, I don't know how long this can go on, but if things are getting stale right now I'll end it in the next few chapters. Just tell me now so I can make a determination.**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, reviews are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

I felt my eyes flutter open and a dimly lit room was soon in my sights. It looked to be the infirmary room from what I could tell, but my head was too hazy to make guesses. On my right was a basin of water and some food, and to my left was Jean sleeping soundlessly. From what I could tell from the bags under his eyes and mussed up hair, he hadn't slept much in the past few days. Had it been because of me? Had I been out for so long?

I muttered something to myself before trying to sit up. My arms hurt like crazy and my head was spinning like a wheel. I must have gotten a concussion when Eren…

"Eren!" I realized in fear, waking up Jean.

He blinked a few times before noticing me. "Armin! You're awake!"

He pulled me into a hug and I immediately returned the love. "I'm glad I'm not dead! Well… I hope I'm not and I'm not meeting you in the afterlife."

He chuckled before pulling away and planting one on my lips. "We're alive… _you're_ alive! That's all that matters. I'm just sorry I couldn't stop Eren before he…"

"Where is he!?" I asked in fear. "What happened to him!?"

He was hesitant to answer this but I insisted he tell me.

He rested his forehead on my own. "Armin, Mello sent him and Annie away to Haven to train with Near."

I felt my heart sink at this but a part of me was glad to hear he hadn't been killed for his crime. "I see. So then… when will he return?"

The man shrugged. "I can't say. Everyone's too afraid of him. Everyone but Annie and Mikasa…"

"Wait, why did Annie have to go?" I asked, realizing what he'd said before. "Why would Mello send her away?"

"Because Near can't train the two of them here. But the reason she needs training from him as well is because she's a shifter. Just like Eren."

"So there are more!?" I exclaimed. "What else has been going on here!?"

"That's the gist of it. Though, Eren did ask if he could come say goodbye to you while you were out. Mello wouldn't allow it. The man is being extra tough on the students now because of his actions and Annie's. It's like there's no more trust in the world."

I shook my head. "There's always going to be trust. It's just limited at the moment thanks to some dumb mistakes. I'm sure things will return to normal. I don't even blame Eren for what happened to me. It was my choice to get close to him when I knew it was dangerous. I wish I could've told him that."

"I don't think it would have made him feel better. Last I saw him he was dragging himself out the gate with Near and Annie. He looked so pitiful."

I laid back down on my pillow and sighed. "I guess it's best that he's gone for now. He needs real training. I just wish… I don't know, that I could have said something? Maybe tell him before about my feelings? I never even gave him a chance…"

"That's not true." Jean disagreed. "He had his chance with you, and he thought that was enough for you to choose him. I admit I feel as if I'm to blame for all this, but I don't know what else to think. Eren was angry, yes, but it was because of my actions that he got this angry. I knew you and he had something and I chose to get between that. I should have stayed out of the way, and I'm sorry you got hurt for it."

I leaned forward to peck his cheek. "It isn't your fault to have feelings, Jean. And it isn't Eren's fault for his. Some of us aren't that good with holding them in, it's nothing to be ashamed of."

He held my hand tightly. "I know… but it still killed me inside to see you get hurt over something as stupid as our little fight. You shouldn't be treated like that…"

I rested my forehead on his once more. "It was my own fault, Jean. Don't beat yourself up over my own choice."

We were silent for a bit before I lay back down once more and began to drift off.

"How long was I out?" I asked tiredly.

"About two weeks." The man answered. "L, Light, and Mello have all been keeping you alive. I've just been here for company."

I hummed at this. "And Eren left a day or so after the incident?"

"Try the very next day." He corrected. "Mello was not pleased with him in the slightest and immediately had him removed from the training grounds and on his way to Haven. And before you ask, no, he can't come back and visit. Not until Near says he's capable of handling his form correctly. Mello agreed to let you write letters to him when you can stay awake longer than a few hours. That hit to your head is gonna cause some major problems for the next few weeks, but you'll recover. You're a tough nut."

I grinned at this. "And what about you? How do you feel about all this?"

He was quiet for a moment before looking into my eyes and answering with, "I honestly don't know. I'm shocked and hurt about you getting injured, I'm scared of Eren raging again and the thought of more shifters in our midst, and I'm absolutely terrified of Mello castrating me for letting his brother fight a monstrous titan alone and with simple – yet useless – things as words. I swear that blonde has a stare that could turn someone to ice!"

I couldn't help the giggle. "I know the one you're talking about. He used it back home in Shiganshina with the soldiers that tried to hook up with him. Needless to say, none of them were lucky. Matt barely made it out alive."

I started to drift off at this point and I felt a pair of lips on my forehead.

"Go to sleep Armin. I'll tell the others you woke up and spoke to me. Just rest for now."

I hummed in response before falling back asleep. I faintly heard knocking at once point before a few voices flooded my head. I knew one of them was Mikasa's, and another was definitely Mello's. The others I couldn't recognize through the haze of drowsiness.

I prayed for Eren that night. For his safety and his wellbeing. I wanted him to hear my prayer from Haven and know that he was still in my heart. That he was still my friend no matter what had happened to me. I didn't care if Mello didn't trust him. I knew I could trust him with my life if need be it. Maybe this little hiccup should have proven otherwise, but if anything it just means his loyalty and heart knows no bounds. That titan I saw was not Eren. It wasn't even his titan form. That titan was his anger manifesting into an uncontrollable creature.

And that was not the Eren I grew up with.

And it wasn't the Eren Mello knew either.

The fear would die down soon enough, and Mello would go back to his old self and trust the brunette eventually. For now though, he had to be a good commander and think about his students and future brothers in arms.

Eren would gain that trust again…

…

…he just needed time.


	42. Chapter 42

_**A/N: Short chapter today since I'm under the weather and in need of rest. But I'll get back to the story soon. :)**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, reviews are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Eren P.O.V)**

One month had passed since first arriving at Haven and only now was Near beginning to trust me more. It was bad enough I had little to no trust with people anymore, but the constant nagging at the back of my head about Armin being hurt and possibly never speaking to me again hurt me more than anything. I didn't want to lose my friends over this, but I guess I could see why I _would_ lose them.

I still felt Mello was too lenient on me. I should have been eaten by the titans, I should have been thrown away and forgotten. I still wondered why he didn't kill me when he had the chance. Lord knows he's so over protective of Amin that he'd dare kill for him if need be it. So then… why spare me? Why allow my training to continue?

I sat on a bench staring up at the trees in wonder. Still questioning why I was alive. Mello wasn't always a harsh person, but I'd seen him kill a titan in his angriest state. He was ruthless and practiced, his blades faster than what you could see. And his eyes… geez… those eyes could kill someone if you weren't careful. Even when I saw him take down those other titans when I was in my own form I was afraid of him. Maybe because I believed he'd kill me too.

I took a breath and closed my eyes. "I should have been killed."

"You really should have been." Came a familiar voice.

I jolted slightly and looked to see Annie looking at me with her regular serious face and arms crossed. Even for a short young woman, she was scary. Not quite Mello scary.

But scary.

I blinked at her before relaxing slightly. "You think so too?"

She sat next to me and leaned back on the bench. Not bothering to look at me. "All of us should be killed. We're abominations. However powerful we are, we're still not human."

I scoffed. "If it brings humanity a bit of a boon…"

"It doesn't, Eren." She said solemnly. "It just makes more problems."

"Why do you say that?"

She was quiet for a moment and this gave me a second to look her over.

Annie, though others might disagree, was quite the looker in her own way. I admired her more for her fighting abilities and her mindset, but she was quite attractive on the outside. We never really talked though so I never got to know her too well until going to Haven with her and Near. Apparently she was form the same place as Reiner and Bertolt, and had trained under her father since she was a little girl on a strict and heavy regimen. It explained a lot about her trust issues and attitude, but I still had respect for her.

She sighed to herself quietly, bringing me out of my own thoughts. "Pixis told you about how men used to fight others before the titans, correct? Well, what would happen if the titans suddenly disappeared? They'd go after the humanoid titans that _we_ are, and then kill us. Then after that, they'd go about killing each other. There's no end to the violence, Yeager, and you're an idiot for thinking that it will go away. Armin is smart enough to see that, so why can't you be?"

"Maybe because I have hope in a better tomorrow?" I stated more than asked. "And I know it's dangerous for shifters to be running around and causing havoc in a few places, but dammit if there needs to be some power in our corner!"

"Maybe humanity isn't strong enough to leave the walls yet." She suggested. "Maybe they're better off as titan food…"

"Listen to yourself!" I demanded. "Maybe humanity isn't perfect right now, but it's cowardly to just sit back and watch it all crumble and die before us! We have hearts and minds that we should utilize to our every advantage, even if it means a few casualties! Being human means to live, and we can't do that while being locked up in a glorified cage! However many years of peace we had is worthless if all we know about the outside is that it's where danger is. You can't seriously believe the walls are better than all this!" I gestured to around us. "We've been here a month and already I feel freer than I ever did back behind those walls!"

"I understand that, and I agree with you." She said as she turned to me. "But look at what they've all become. Fat and slovenly, waiting for soldiers to end the wars that was brought on because of them and their cowardice! The walls were built for peace but where is the peace when all of humanity won't even work together and find it for themselves! Back there, no one is trusted and no one cares for each other…"

"You're wrong." I growled at her, making her go silent. "Maybe right now humanity is mistrustful of each other but there was a time when we did look out for each other. You weren't there to see it because you were getting negativity and lessons from your trainers, but me and my family had more than you think. We had our neighbors, we had each other, and friends. Where I'm from, we tried to look out for each other when things got rough, and that's what Mello's re-teaching us now!" I paused and took a breath. "Maybe I missed it while I was there, or maybe I didn't see it at first, but Mello is trying to get us to work as a unit again. I don't know why, but I'm too sure it has something to do with a plan of his. We'll have to wait and see. The point is though, despite everything, humanity will work together if it means survival.

"I bet you anything on that."

A few moments of silence washed over us as I stared into her blue eyes. She seemed relatively shocked at my outburst and preachiness, but there was a slight glimmer in her eyes I hadn't seen before in the time I'd known her. She was usually so strict and cold it was hard to get her to open up…

…right now however.

She leaned in and connected our lips making my entire body freeze and my heart pound like the wingbeat of a bird. The last time I'd kissed anyone it'd been Armin, and I'd been over the moon about it. If this was how he felt with our first kiss…

…

…I wanted to feel like this forever.

I relaxed slightly as she backed away, a slight smile on her lips as I felt my entire being numb over and relatively quit on me. God, I can't even imagine feeling like this forever, but still it felt better than being completely heartbroken over Armin.

Maybe… maybe we could…

She took my hand and guided me towards the training grounds. "Your uppercut needs some work, and I don't think I properly showed you how to roundhouse kick yet."

I blinked and just followed her silently. I still had no idea if we'd just started something together or she was playing a game with me, but anything was better than sulking around and doing nothing with my time.

I wondered briefly how Armin would feel if he knew about this and quickly shook the thought away. Who cared what he thought? He was with Jean anyhow, and he seemed to enjoy horse face and his company. So… I should enjoy my own company.

I smiled slightly and gripped her hand tighter. "Think you could show me how to crystalize my punches?"

She huffed her own sort of chuckle and looked back at me. "That's my own secret. You need to find yours."

"Mind helping me?" I asked in an innocent voice.

She rolled her eyes. "I can try, I guess."

In that moment I knew that this would be the start of a beautiful relationship. And what luck! She happened to be a shifter as well. Which meant least she could hold her own in a fight against me.

And I wouldn't have to worry about hurting her.

…

…this was perfect.


	43. Chapter 43

_**A/N: Short chapter today since I'm under the weather and in need of rest. But I'll get back to the story soon. :)**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, reviews are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Matt P.O.V)**

I didn't get to spend all that much time with Mello nowadays thanks to his position over the corps, but now and then he managed to get me alone with him and we had our own time together like any regular couple would.

Truth be told, I missed the days when he had all the time in the world for fooling around. So nights like tonight were special in my heart.

We got to his private rooms and didn't waste a minute getting down to business.

I didn't even get a chance to speak before he was showering me in deep kisses and practically ripping off my clothes. I knew he was in need of attention just like anyone else in his situation, but he had to show self-control while still training others. Now that we were alone though, all bets were off. He could be as loving or rough as he wanted to be without judgement. And so far, the treatment was quite rough.

And I loved it.

Once my shirt was torn off and my belt unbuckled I took the lead from here and brought the blonde up into my arms to carry him to the bed.

"You seem tense." I joked, feeling his lips on my skin curve into a smile.

Once I had him on the bed he graced me with his heavy grin. "You'd be tense to if you had to listen to Levi bitch about the way I keep my training grounds. The man needs to stop with his cleanliness for a night and get fucked for a bit. Loosen him up."

I chuckled at this, kissing the blonde's neck. "He wouldn't go for it. Too messy. He's complain about the aftermath or even the act itself. Besides, I heard him call sex a disgusting way of affection once. Don't know why he would unless he was a virgin."

"Maybe he's tried it and couldn't get over the wet kisses or dirty foreplay." He joked, slipping out of his leathers.

I growled in response to this and bit down on his shoulder before responding with, "What a waste of human flesh to not even use it correctly. Foreplay is the best part!"

He lay back down on the pillow as I got started on my pants. Mello was fully nude at the moment, and I didn't want to waste time on waiting any longer.

The blonde chuckled. "Doesn't seem all that important to you tonight."

I got the pants off and threw them away, leaning down for a kiss. "When it's been two months since our last time together, I don't give a shit about foreplay. And I don't think you do either."

His response was pulling me in for a deep and passionate kiss, our skin connecting and sending fire through my veins. God how I missed this feeling!

He let me go and our breath turned heavy. "After all the shit I went through with Yeager, my brother, and now Corporal Fuck Face… I need this way more than you do!"

I chuckled as I got into position. "You didn't have to come back, you know."

He threw his head back as I entered him and his breath hitched. "For this I did!" He admitted.

I kissed him deeply once more and rocked my hips a bit. "So it's just the sex you wanted? You had no intentions on being with your family again?"

He grabbed hold of my neck with his arms and I sat him up into my lap, getting a better angle for the both of us.

"Lord, Matt, can't you- AH… take a compliment!?"

I chuckled at his reaction and rocked my hips again making him shudder. "I missed you too, Mels."

He half laughed at this. "You don't need me. You could have been great as a commander if you'd stayed in the army."

I lay him back down on the bed and showered him in kisses around his face and neck. "Maybe… but it would have been lonely. I needed you there to keep me sane like you always did."

"You did alri- AH!" he yelped went I bit down on a sensitive spot on his neck, making his breath quicken slightly. "You… you did alright... in cadets… without me."

"I still thought about you," I admitted. "And for two years your face was in my dreams while in training. I suppose I stayed so I could prove myself to you or something. Either way, it's what brought us together. And it's what's keeping us from losing each other again."

"You think?" He asked, rocking along to my rhythm.

I nodded, thrusting slightly. "I do. We're both fighting for humanity, for a chance to be free. And we can do that here happily before winter sets in and you work out your plan."

He silenced me with a kiss. "Let's not talk about that right now. We're here, we're together, and nothing's tearing us apart again. I won't allow it."

I hummed a laugh and set my rhythm a bit faster now. "Commander in the streets _and_ in the sheets I see!"

I light hit to my shoulder was his response as our night continued on. Since this would be the only time we'd have together for about another week or so, I planned on spending the night completely and utterly devoted to our needs. No sleep, no rest, just… us.

And god help them if they try to stop this!

* * *

 **(Jean P.O.V)**

"I really wouldn't bug Mello right now." Armin warned.

"Oh?" Connie turned back to us. "Why's that?"

The blonde looked a little embarrassed to admit it, but…

"Well… he and Matt are having their own… _time_ together."

"What, like dinner?" The shorter man asked.

I couldn't help but squeeze my eyebrows in frustration. This guy really was innocent in his own ways.

Armin only sighed. "Yes, Connie. They're having 'dinner' so you'd better not bug them."

"But what about the blades that need sharpening?" He asked. "Sasha and I are done so…"

"So put them away and go to bed." I commanded. "The last thing you need is to be kissing ass this late at night!"

"It's not kissing ass!" The guy exclaimed. "Last time we sharpened them Mello threw a fit over how poorly they were done!"

"Can you blame him?" I asked. "Those blades need better care than the ones we used before and you left them out in the rain! It's a good thing they were coated properly or your ass would have been the last thing you'd seen before your imminent death!"

Armin chuckled at this and turned to the guy. "Connie, just put the blades away and go to bed. Mello really needs to be left alone right now, believe me."

The shorter of us shrugged and did as told, walking off towards the storage building.

I breathed out my frustration and lay my head on Armin's lap. "I swear to god he will be the next to die along with Potato girl."

He pet his hands through my hair and kissed my forehead. "He isn't dumb, Jean. He's just trying to do his job properly and not get yelled at for it. Out of everyone I'm surprised you yourself aren't afraid of being killed by one of the instructors. Didn't Shadis head-butt you the very first day of training?"

I rubbed my forehead at the memory. "Don't remind me. I was seeing stars for hours."

He place his forehead on mine and grinned. "So leave Connie and Sasha alone. They're eccentric, but loyal. Out of everyone, I'd choose them first to be on my squad."

"Not me?" I asked innocently.

He shook his head. "Nope. You'd be the last one I'd choose."

I sat up in faux anger as he laughed. "And why's that!?"

His laugh turned into a giggle and I had to force down the blush at this. His giggle was adorable and I had difficulty ignoring how much I loved to hear it.

He kissed my cheek and hugged my neck from behind. "Other than your temperament and unwillingness to listen to others, I don't it's best that we fight together for the very fact that we have to think of the missions before who we save in our groups. Our sole mission in life is to die on humanity's behalf, and if we were on the battlefield together… it'd just be easier for us. That doesn't mean my heart wouldn't be with you in the time of your death however."

"But…" I stumbled over my words. "But I don't want you to die alone. I want to be there with you, holding your hand. I don't want you to think I left you…"

"You wouldn't make me feel that way, Jean." He promised, cuddling into my neck. "If your heart is with me, I know I'm not alone. The same thing goes with my own heart being with you. We aren't alone in death, Jean. I realized this a long time ago. It's just… sad, I suppose. But we won't ever be alone."

I grinned at this and kissed the blonde's cheek. "You're a lot wiser than you should be at this age."

"Wisdom comes with experience, not age." He explained, kissing me back. "And I've experienced way too many things in my past for a healthy kid to go through."

"I can't tell if that makes you lucky or not." I admitted. "Granted, I grew up a bit more privileged than most kids, and I had a loving mother, but… I don't know, I didn't turn out like I thought I would."

"What do you mean?" He asked, resting his head on my shoulder.

I shrugged slightly. "I always thought I was going to have everything in the world. A good home, a good wife and kids, and all the money I could count while being safely protected in the closest wall. And now look where I am. Stuck in training with your psychotic brother who hates me and wondering when I'll be eaten by the next titan or a shifter. The only good part about any of this is that I met you. Even then, your brother will murder me if he finds even a scratch on you."

The blonde giggled playfully and hugged me closer to him. "Want to test that theory?"

I felt my stomach flip and my palms sweat slightly. "Er… what do you mean by…"

He took my hand and dragged me to my feet. "No one's in the mess hall right now. And it won't be locked up for another hour."

I felt my cheeks go hot and yet I still followed him numbly. "M-m-mess hall?"

He dragged me along until we got to the doors of the mess hall and I immediately stopped. This took him by surprise slightly and he asked if I was alright.

I bit down on my lip before swallowing my fear. "I just… I don't… I mean, _you_ of all people…!"

He grinned at me when he realized what I was trying to say.

He placed his hands on my chest and folded his fingers into the creases of my jacket. "Jean, are you a virgin?"

I felt my cheeks go hot and I looked away, not daring to even look in his general direction. "W-why? Are you?"

He giggled at my stupid response and lay his head on my chest. "In fact, I am. But I hope you know that _that_ wasn't what I had planned for you in the mess hall."

I breathed a sigh of relief and quickly jolted when I realized this.

"I mean… it's not like I don't want to! I mean… I don't want to… err… push you into doing anything. NOT that I'd make you do all the work! It's just… I… err… uh…"

He kissed me deeply at this and let me go with a short chuckle. "You're adorable when you're flustered."

He opened the door to the mess hall and dragged me in. "We aren't doing anything explicit, but I'd rather not be a show for the others to fawn over. I at least want a little privacy while we're together."

I hummed at this and sat down at one of the tables. "Sorry for…err… freaking out like that. I guess…"

Another passionate kiss as he sat in my lap left me speechless before he made his argument. "Not until we can at least secure a real bed and I know you're ready. I won't force you into anything, and you won't force me. Deal?"

I nodded numbly. "Deal. Just… don't tell the others I'm a virgin."

He chuckled once again and locked his lips onto mine. "I think they already know, Jean."

"How can they tell?" I asked.

His lips moved to my neck. "The way you act can sometimes give it away. It's adorable really."

"Quit calling me that." I chuckled out, kissing his neck as well.

He giggled in response. "I can't help it! You're an adorable and handsome young horse man!"

A light nip to his shoulder had him giggling again and the night continued on. Nothing explicit happened of course but it was nice to just be together as a couple for a few hours. Of course, the hickeys on our necks did not go unnoticed by Mello but he quickly let it slide when Armin pointed out the bite marks on his own skin.

Needless to say, we got out of this battle without any injuries. But I couldn't be that careless again.

I might not be that lucky next time.


	44. Chapter 44

_**A/N:**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, reviews are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

"Uh… do you need any help there, Jean?" I asked, trying my hardest to hold down my smile, failing miserably.

He struggled in his binds for a moment, looking up at the tree he'd been caught in. "Err… no. I'm… I'm perfectly capable of getting out of this. It's just a snag."

I looked over the entire mess again and covered my mouth to hide my smile. "Jean, you're completely hogtied and hanging upside down from a branch. I don't even think you can move your hands."

"Not true!" He exclaimed, waving his little stub of a hand at the wrist. "See! Completely useful!"

I finally let out a laugh and pat his cheek. "Hold on, I'll get you down."

He grumbled but smiled anyway. "Thank you."

I giggled again and climbed up the tree towards the branch he was 'snagged' on. I had to admit, the gear we were using was pretty difficult to control because of the speed and extra air in the tanks, but this was just ridiculous. I don't know why Jean didn't stay focussed when we're in a crowded wood and using new gear.

Although… I had a hunch as to why.

I loosened the wire holding him airborne and Jean fell to the forest floor almost instantly. In a slight moment I almost laughed at the thud he made when he hit the ground, but I controlled myself before I could embarrass him more.

"Are you okay!?" I asked from above, still holding in my laughs.

I heard the man sigh and raise a hand. "Yeah… sort of."

I snickered slightly before hearing the horn to call us in to go back to camp. Looks like our day was done.

I hopped down from the branch and help Jean to his feet. "Alright, let's get you back home and in bed. You've had a long day."

He grumbled at this, forcing down his own smile. "Yeah… whatever."

Once I helped him up and cleaned off some of the dirt we were on our way back. It'd been a long day for the troops anyhow what with learning the new gear and even newer strategies in class. Since Mello and I pretty much thought the same way the strategies were easy for me to catch on, but there were a few people struggling.

One of the strategies Mello and his team used was camouflage in many different ways. Since titans were attracted to large amounts of humans, possibly due to our blood or flesh, they would use the earth to mask their scent and use it to stay in hiding. The scent of the sea drove off the titans, but sometimes they studied them up close with this new tactic. We hadn't put it into our own routine yet, but that was maybe due to L's hesitation on it. Matt and Mello were all for teaching us, but L and Light were mistrustful of the tactic going awry.

I smiled at the thought of L and Light together. It's been two months since being shackled together, and only now did the two finally become… closer. Mello knew full well he'd promised them a month of being shackled but he's confided to me and said he'd wanted to see how long it would take them to realize their time was up. They still weren't aware of this, but it didn't seem like it mattered anymore. Not with them getting along so well now. Light called it Stockholm syndrome, but he didn't seem to care too much when L attended to his needs when he most desired. I never thought for even a moment that the two would work out to be a good couple in the end.

The two had also been waiting for all of us when we got back along with Matt and Mello. Light, on most days, looked a lot more calm than usual now that he had someone of his own, but L still looked like the same taskmaster that my brother was trained by.

Today was not one of those days for Light.

Once we'd all arrived, we all partook in the show that Light was putting on by arguing with Matt. Apparently the red head said something rather… racy about his new relationship.

"I swear to god Matt, if you say one more thing…!"

"What?! All I said was you two look… _relaxed_." Matt implied.

Light went for a punch but L stopped him with the chain. "Honestly Light, it's not like it's much of a secret anymore. Especially when you're so keen on using the chain to your _advantage_."

I hid my face behind Jean's shoulder to keep my giggles from surfacing.

Light growled at the man. "Like you don't do the same, you sadist."

"You realize, as well, that once this month is done I'm still using the shackles to my own advantage." L implied. "I just won't tell you when."

"That's considered rape, Ryuzaki." Light explained.

Another thing the two agreed on while being shackled together was that L would be called Ryuzaki due to his name being blacklisted and he wanting nothing to do with soldiers looking at him with distain. If anyone asked if he was L, he lied and said his name was Ryuzaki. Light took a liking to this name and just called him this whenever he pleased though. Around the training grounds, he was L. With Light, he called him Ryuzaki.

I personally thought it was cute.

L took a breath and looked towards my brother. "Mello, when exactly _will_ this month be over with?"

The look on Mihael's face was priceless. That mix of being caught and pure humour was just to die for. I could just hear everyone in our group snickering and waiting for his response.

The blonde kept his cool as he looked up at the sun, shading his eyes with his hand. "Judging by the light of the sun, and the angle of which it's descending, I'd say…

"…

"…last month?"

The two looked at the blonde in pure bewilderment while the rest of us bust a gut laughing. None of us could believe that he'd managed to pull this off for so long! It was a miracle neither of them caught on sooner!

I watched as L hung his head in shame. "Played by my own pupil. I can't believe this."

Light placed his head on L's. "Both of us were played, Ryuzaki."

Mello snickered at his own success and pulled out a lock-pick from his hair. "Alright, I'll let you guys go now. It's no fun if you know the truth now anyway."

The chains clicked open and they were freed. But one last thing was on their minds.

Light took a step towards the blonde. "You'd better start running, _commander_!"

L then took a step towards Matt. "You too, goggles!"

Mihael backed away from them slowly, Matt following behind. "Armin and Mikasa, take the students back to camp. I'll be out for a while."

And with that the two ran for their lives into the wood and past the darkness, L and Light following close behind and threatening them.

Jean chuckled at the sight. "You know, when he's not in commander mode, you're brother's pretty damn awesome!"

I smiled at this and took the lead behind Mikasa. "Let's move out."

I knew the old Mello was still in there somewhat. I remember all the times he used to make me smile by humiliating the soldiers back in Shiganshina. Sometimes he'd flirt with them to get them to fall off roofs by accident, other times he spiced their drinks with bits of poison oak to make them cough and scratch at their throats, but the best ones were when he pranked our own father. It was always funny to watch the two have fun and prank each other in their own ways. Mello spiced his food to make his more sour, our father cutting horse hair and putting it on Mihael's pillow to make him freak out and think he was losing his hair. It was always fun to watch the reactions, even when our grandfather got involved. Our mother always stopped it though when things got too far.

And I couldn't blame her. I think Mello was in tears when he thought his hair was falling out.

I missed those times back in Shiganshina. But now, with us being soldiers and the titans having taken everything, it's like those times never happened.

I felt Jean put his hand on my shoulder. "Are you alright?"

I shrugged slightly. "I guess. I just miss my home."

He squeezed my shoulder encouragingly. "We'll get it all back, I promise."

I smiled half-heartedly at his promise. It wasn't really all that possible with things being how they were, but it was nice to hear someone promise me something like that.

I was about to say something more when a loud screeching form above broke through the silence of the forest. When I looked up to the sky I could see an unknown bird flying above with a heart-shaped face and a note in it's talons.

What on earth was it?

"Weird," I heard Jean whisper. "I've never seen that before."

I then heard the unmistakable sound of gear coming into action as a figure flew over us at top speed and up a tree to meet the bird in the air. At a moment's glance I couldn't see who it was, but once they came down I was surprised to see Mello looking through the note while the bird rested on his shoulder.

"What's going on?" I asked, running up to Mihael.

He moved the note away from me and kept on reading it. Once he was done he rolled his eyes and scoffed as he handed the note to me. "It's from Eren."

"What! And you read it!" I yelled at him, crushing the note slightly.

He didn't answer and merely walked passed me to look off somewhere. "I have to find Matt. Last I saw he was headed for the mountains." He then placed the bird on my shoulder. "When you want to answer him, give the note to Bella and she'll take it to Haven."

"Mihael!" I yelled at him, turning him to me. "How dare you read my letter from him!?"

He took a step towards me in anger and I instantly shut up. Mello was not someone you wanted angry.

"Because you're my brother, and I have a right to know what that bastard is saying to you." He growled. "That barn owl was trained to deliver messages only to me as well, so don't go thinking you can intercept them before me because it's impossible. Now go back to camp."

He then walked off into the forest, not caring about my own feelings of the matter.

I gave a frustrated growl, stuffing the note in my pocket and storming of towards the camp.

This wasn't over.


	45. Chapter 45

_**A/N: Gonna try and wrap this story up as soon as I can. It's getting a bit boring now anyway in my opinion. :/**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, reviews are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

"So what does it say?" Mikasa asked worriedly, looking over my shoulder. She out of anyone, was worried most for Eren and his new placement in this whole ordeal.

I simply gave her the note and she read it for herself. "He's just checking up on how everything's going over here. He said something about Annie and him starting up a relationship, but nothing too deep into the topic. I think my brother just scoffed at how fast he moved on."

"Nah, Eren's always had a thing for Annie." Jean commented, sitting beside me. "He was just loyal to you."

"Well, I'm at least glad he isn't holding a grudge against you… as much." I said nervously, scratching the back of my head. "I'm more upset with how Mello is treating all this. He thinks so little of my abilities and now he's more protective than ever! I know he's scared of losing me, but I can take care of myself now. I'm not that little kid he used to care for back in Shiganshina, and I still have my friends to help me out if I truly need it. I just don't understand him."

Mikasa hummed before setting the letter on the desk beside me. "Your brother's always been protective of you, Armin. And it stems from almost losing your father to the titans when he was little. Don't you remember any of that?"

"I do," I spoke softly, "but it's not like I'm dealing with titans on a day to day basis. Yes, I was bullied and shunned by others as a kid, and I know that has something to do with this too, but dammit if he can't just leave my personal life alone! I forgive Eren, and I know he's doing better now that he's in Haven. I still want to speak with my friend but _he_ keeps getting in the way! I know he reads my letters, but I had no idea he was reading Eren's _or_ that he was sending him by an owl. Why would he keep this from me!?"

Jean shrugged at this, looking at the Barn owl sitting patiently by the windowsill. "Maybe because he's insane?"

I flicked his forehead for that but it only made him giggle. "He isn't insane, just… protective. He's been through a lot, lost many things in his life, and gave up twice more than what he lost. You'd be of the safe side too if you've been through even half of what he's been through. No, he's still sane… but he has no trust left in him. I understand that, but why can't he trust me? I'm his brother, I've never lied or dishonoured him. He should have more faith in me and who I give my trust to."

"But Armin, you have to remember _everything_ that's happened to him." Mikasa reminded. "The titan attack back home was one thing, but he probably went into shock after dropping fifty feet from the wall into a river and falling into unconsciousness afterwards. Not only that, but he lived a year without knowing if you or your family were alive, having to get used to a completely new environment, and probably losing his sanity along the way. You said it yourself that he was sane, and I agree. But there's still something unfamiliar in his eyes and I know you've seen it as much as I have. He's still scared, still worried, and the thought of losing you is setting him over the edge. Just look at everything he's doing."

I thought about that for a moment and felt a twinge of fear course through me. "You're right. There's something wrong with him. He's not Mihael anymore, he's just… Mello. He even killed someone for being right about the other shifters in our midst…"

"No," Jean replied with a growl, "he didn't kill him for that. I saw the look in his eye and it wasn't the one he used when in command of us. It was indecisive, fear, and sadness. I don't remember seeing that look on his face after that, but I know what it was. He was going to push Near under the cart to save you Armin, but when things got hairy he did what any soldier has to do in that situation. It had nothing to do with the shifters, he was only trying to protect you."

I felt a little bad for accusing my brother of mercilessly killing someone now, but it didn't stop the other questions forming in my head. Why was he protective of only me? Why not the rest of the family? And why was he interfering with my life?

"He isn't insane," Mikasa spoke silently, "but there is something wrong with him. Too much shock to his system has left him paralyzed in fear for his family, mainly you Armin. The only time he's ever normal is when he's assured everyone is safe and sound. As soon as that peace is disturbed… so is he."

"So then… what do I do?" I asked, almost begging for an answer.

Before either of them could give their opinion on the matter, the barn owl screeched and clacked it's beak for a moment before ruffling it's feathers. Out of practice, Mikasa drew a blade and Jean pulled me away from it.

"What does she want?" I wondered.

"Don't know," Mikasa answered. "I only found a few books about her species but she looks as though she's getting ready for something."

Jean relaxed his grip and lowered his hands. "But what?"

I took a step closer to her and she lifted her wings in defense. Out of all the pictures we'd found on her species I noticed she was quite stout for her kind. I chalked it up to Mello and his companions over feeding her…

…but maybe I was wrong.

Bella hopped over to a pile of clothes and nestled into them and screeched slightly. This one sounded a little more pained than the others and I knew in that moment what was going on.

"Mikasa, go get some warm water from the mess hall!" I commanded. "NOW!"

She hesitated for a moment before doing as told and running out the door.

"What's going on?" Jean asked.

I kneeled down to the owl and arranged the clothes around her. "Looks like we might be getting some visitors soon."

"What?! You mean-"

I giggled. "Don't tell Mihael."

He leaned down and watched the female take the clothes around her and shred them slightly as Mikasa came back with a cup of warm water. After giving me the water she picked up one of the books we'd found about her species and flipped to the chapter about eggs.

The night continued on with screeching from the barn owl and quick work from us. In the end, she only laid about five eggs. In this clutch she became a mother.

It would be dawn soon, but after the events that took place, none of us could sleep.

Jean chuckled. "I didn't know owls could be whores on the job!"

I lightly hit him for this but smiled anyway. The eggs were a glorious white and they shone in the light of the moon. It was a beautiful sight to behold.

Mikasa grinned slightly. "Do you think Mello knew about this?"

I shook my head. "If he had, he wouldn't have made the poor girl work. But the thing is, owls mate for life and her mate isn't anywhere near her. She might starve if she doesn't get food daily and it's the mate's job to help with that."

"So then… can't she go hunting?" Jean asked.

I thought about this for a moment before holding out a hand to the owl, having her nuzzle me in thanks for my earlier help. "No, she can't. If she does, Mello will wonder why she's still around and get nosy. We'll have to bring the food to her and keep her clutch hidden from him. They should hatch in about thirty days. Twenty if we're lucky. I'll tell Mello I sent a note to Eren while he was asleep and it should throw him off suspicion. For now we need to get her some food. Mice or other vermin around here."

"Leave it to me." Mikasa answered, heading out the door. "I'll meet you in the barracks with the food for her."

I nodded and pet the feathers on Bella's head. "We're gonna have to move you, sweetheart. An office is no place for a nest, and we don't want Mello finding you here."

A small squeak was her tired answer as she cuddled into her brood and fell asleep. The poor thing must have been hurting after all this.

Knowing there were fragile and newly laid eggs under her, I got Jean to help me lift her up with her nest and we gently carried her off towards the barracks, being careful not to be seen by anyone who might have been up early.

We put the nest under Jean's bed and lay down some more cloth for Bella to use in her nest. An hour later Mikasa came back with some mice and a mole for the proud mother to feast on. After this, it was decided we'd each take turns in feeding her and keeping her safe and warm. Upon their asking of why I wanted Mello out of this whole ordeal, I told them that the brood would come in handy to us in later time.

I smiled at Jean. "I'll even let you keep one if you're a good daddy to it!"

He crossed his arms. "I will not be it's 'daddy'. I will be it's commander and handler!"

Mikasa hummed at all this. "But there's five eggs. If we each get one…"

"The other two will have to go with Bella." I explained. "Well… all of them will, I guess. They have to learn from her what to do. To follow our commands and suggestions. I was hoping to just have them as companions as well. But think about how great they'll be for battle! Distracting the titans as we take them out! It's an aerial assault!"

"You think it would work?" Jean asked, a bit skeptical.

I looked down at the now hungry and eating mother and grinned. "Mihael was able to train her to listen to our commands… so who's to say her brood can't do the same? Plus, this will teach my brother that I'm more than capable of doing things for myself."

When the two of them finally agreed to this, the plan was set in stone.

Right as we were about to leave for breakfast, we found a rather chilling conversation happening between my brother and Erwin Smith.

"We need their help, Keehl." Smith replied to Mello. "This could mean a win for humanity."

"Yes, please stop with your bullshit and let them help with the mission." One of Levi's squad members demanded.

Levi himself just looked bored of the entire ordeal.

Mello was defiant though. "Absolutely not. They haven't even mastered the new gear yet, and I still have Eren working and training in Haven. It'll be months before he can come back."

"You have three months to get ready for this mission." Levi answered him. "And the mission itself is not completely dangerous. Word is that Eren's little fiasco has reached ears of the cult. I suppose you know which one I speak of."

The blonde growled. "Don't get me started on them. What is it you want me to do exactly?"

"Not just you, but you, Matt, and your students. We'd like for you to infiltrate their base of operations and learn what you can. That wall fanatics have completely lost their senses thanks to all this worry over titans inside the walls. And if it weren't for Pixis I can guarantee you that you wouldn't be alive at this moment _nor_ taking care of those shifters."

"They aren't inside the walls anymore, Corporal, so please stand down."

"Why they trust you over a man who can kill three titans in the span of a second is beyond me!" Came the reply from Levi's men once more.

Mello's response was him drawing his blade and cornering the pompous man to the wagon.

"They trust me because of everything I've done. Corporal shit stain over there may be good at killing titans, but _I_ can master them. I haven't met a titan yet that has killed any of my soldiers or has cause me any sort of casualty. I'm not part of your scouting legion, or your military. I'm a sort all on my own and I have proven my worth without losing anything in the battle. So don't underestimate me you sack of horse shit."

The elder man with coiffed hair and finely worn clothes fell to his knees in fear and Mello backed away. Turning to Levi once again.

"I'm in. But only if you and your teams sticks around and work in training along with us. You can't expect me to work with you in an assignment without us knowing each other too much, now can you."

"Deal," Levi agreed, turning to Erwin. "We'll remain here until the time comes. You have your own work to handle at any rate, am I correct? Besides, I'm eager to see how this blonde handles his students."

Jean nudged me slightly. "How long do you think the Corporal will last?"

I grinned slightly. "Longer than you think, but not as long as he hopes."

This was going to be an interesting few months.


	46. Chapter 46

_**A/N: Gonna try and wrap this story up as soon as I can. It's getting a bit boring now anyway in my opinion. :/**_

 _ **H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, reviews are much welcomed, and see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Eren P.O.V)**

It was getting colder now. Winter was going to set in soon. Something about that thought shook me though. Most winters were spent huddled indoors or in training nowadays, but I had a strange feeling about this winter.

That this would be a winter to remember.

Annie set a warm cup of milk beside me and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Still nothing?"

I shook my head. "Why won't he answer me?"

"Maybe Mello didn't give it to him."

I once again shook my head. "Mello is ruthless, but not heartless. No, Armin must have planned something."

Near suddenly appeared to look out the window along with us. His white hair seemed to be brighter than it usually was, and his skin seemed to come to life.

"Winter's setting in. How long have you two been here?"

We both thought for a moment before I answered, "Two months? Two and a half, maybe?"

He hummed in delight at this. "Looks like your training will be done soon. So long as Mello sends word to me."

"What do you mean?" Annie asked. "I thought we would be here for almost a year."

He shook his head. "Not with what Mello had planned. Although, you did help by going berserk back there Yeager. He would have sent you away anyway, but with what you did we got Annie as well…"

"Wait a minute here," I interrupted, "what is going on!? Why did Mello sentence me to be here!?"

The white haired kid chuckled. "Don't get me wrong, he's still incredibly mad at you for what you did to Armin. But at least he got you out along with another shifter. If he hasn't found the others b now, then he's about to."

"What do you mean?" Annie asked worriedly.

He only grinned and turned to walk away. "You'll see."

Once he was out of sights the two of us looked at each other in a bit of fear.

What the hell was going on?

* * *

 **(Mello P.O.V)**

"Is everything set?" Matt asked me. "Winter's about to fall and that means…"

"I know, Matt." I interrupted. "But I still have to convince Levi to follow me, and then him Erwin. After that we send word to Near to make his move. We should be out of here soon."

"But what about Armin?" He asked silently. "Shouldn't he know about all this?"

I shook my head. "No, he'll just get hurt."

"You should really have more faith in him than that, Mello. Armin…"

"Armin is a strong and just young man with a future that will lead to pain and anguish if I do nothing. If he helps in this he could never see his dream come to life, and I have to keep my promise to him." I looked down at my feet. "Even if it means a string of lies along the way."

The troops finished their training with the new gear and had now learned to use it exceptionally well. Even Levi and his team learned to use the gear in record timing.

I addressed the students with pride. "You've all done amazingly well in the past few months, and I'm sorry to say that our time together will be up soon. But if you do as well on the field as you do in training, then I'll know the hard work will not have gone to waste. In the next few weeks we will put on a ceremony for your efforts and reward you with song and drink. The next month will be your greatest test as soldiers, and I will have the pride in my heart to say I taught you once as students."

A few cheers rang my way and I dismissed the students to the barracks.

All but Levi.

I stopped the shorter man and walked him off toward a hill where I could speak to him in private. His team tried to follow but Matt got them to leave us.

So now I had to work some charm.

"Corporal Levi…"

"Oh? No cute nicknames for me anymore?" He semi joked…

…but I was dead serious at this point.

I repeated, "Corporal Levi, are you truly in this for the greater of humanity? For helping them and getting them to safety?"

He was hesitant to answer but nodded once. "Yes, of course I am."

"And you would do anything to help that cause? Even the sacrifice of your own men?"

He nodded once again. "Yes."

I hummed and stopped in our tracks. "Then what if I told you that you could help those in need and end this war once and for all?"

"End the titans? How?"

I shook my head. "End this war, Corporal. To save humanity and keep us from dying out."

"What are you talking about?"

I put a hand on his shoulder. "There's a land past the trees and forests of Haven. Past water that burns titans to their cores. Past the sea on a sheet of ice where no titans are known to roam. I've been there, I've seen it. And I have plans to get people across and into a safe land once more. But… it requires help. And lots of it."

He pushed me away and glared at me. "You kept this information from us?"

"I kept this information from the higher ups." I admitted. "The king shouldn't learn any of this or he'd scare the people into never leaving. But they have to, for the greater good of mankind."

"And how are they supposed to get past the titans?"

I showed him my pendant. "With these. I have someone in Haven right now gathering them up for everyone here. Not only that, but we've found a way to get the smell into the titan shifters and mask the entire human race in the smell of salt water."

I handed him a note and he took to it instantly.

It was difficult to hide under the radar of Armin and the others but I managed to slip it away before I handed him his letter from Eren.

Levi, for the first time in forever I would believe, grinned at this. When he looked up at me, I could tell he was all in for this plan.

"You certainly had us all fooled, Mihael Keehl. Your father should be proud. But when would we be leaving?"

"In one month. The ice should be strong enough for everyone to cross along with their belongings, but we have to get the word out to those willing to leave. It all has to be under the radar though, and not even Erwin can be notified about this. I'm telling you because I know you can spread the word to all of humanity along with your men. Matt will help you out."

"So you want to leave a notice to only those who are underclass, and those willing to cooperate. Correct?"

"Can you do it in one week?" I asked hopefully.

He rolled up the note and handed it back to me. "We'll work on notices tonight with Matt. But I hope you realize that once people join up at the gates that the military will get involved."

"Then we either convince them… or take them out."

He nodded at this and huffed. "Then I suppose I'll have to join you. I have no respect for cowards anyway. But Smith is left alive, are we clear on that?"

I nodded to him. "Let's get started then."


	47. Chapter 47

_**A/N: Okay, because I'm getting surgery soon, I want to finish this story before then and get it all done and out of the way so I don't have to worry too much.**_

 _ **Also, change of plans, I will be making this story into a two or three part series. So look out for that in the future.**_

 _ **I'll also be starting a new AU story soon based on only SNK characters, so again look out for that!**_

 _ **I know this is all a little rushed, and I apologize for that, but I really don't want to be making this story like... 100 chapters long. Especially after my whole operation. No, I'm not that kind of person. So, any answers you seek will be in the next story after this one. It won't be ending in this chapter, but it will be soon.**_

 _ **Sorry about that.**_

 _ **So , I H**_ _ **ope you enjoy, reviews are much welcomed, and I'll see you in the next chapter.**_

* * *

 **(Jean P.O.V)**

"Aw, see!" Armin said with a smile. "You do make a good daddy!"

I growled at him as the chick nestled into my hair. "Burke, you can't be a killer acting like this! Now come on! Flap those wings!"

The chick only squeaked slightly and started nibbling on my hair.

Armin covered his smile but I could tell it was still wide as ever. "He loves you!"

I sighed heavily as I brought the bird from my scalp down to my knee. "You're impossible."

He peeped in a loving manner to me and nuzzled my leg.

Armin giggled as he let his own little barn owl climb all over him. "I think they're almost ready for flying, but they're still a bit young. Bella must think they're ready for flying if she was so willing to leave them to us while she delivered my letter to Eren."

Mikasa hummed at this and pet the feathers down on her own owl. "Or perhaps she just trusts us."

I shrugged. "Whatever the case is, we've got some training to do."

Armin's owl, Sorren, flapped his wings and took off from his head, landing on my knee in the process.

"Yup, almost there." Armin finalized.

The blonde then crawled up beside me and rested his head on my shoulder. I think he just felt at peace now that training would be over soon. I still believed Mello would coddle him like he always did, but maybe now his brother would leave him alone more.

Right as we set the owls back in their nest we suddenly heard someone knock at the door and demand we come out and witness some kind of show. It sounded like Sasha and she was not in her usual happy go lucky mood.

We ran outside and found a group of people all watching Matt and Mello trying to stand against a horde of people all yelling at them and demanding answers. Among this horde I could see a group of people from Trost and all the other cities and towns. Even my own mother had followed in this whole thing.

What the hell was going on?

* * *

 **(Eren P.O.V)**

"Here, wear this and don't take it off no matter what you do." Near commanded. "We'll be heading out soon."

I looked at the pendant he handed to me and noticed that it was almost exactly like the one Mello gave Armin. "Why are you giving me this? What's going on?"

"Just trust me." He said calmly. "Once all this is done, humanity will have survived the titans. And we'll be free from their influence forever."

"Wait… what do you mean by that?" Annie asked. "We can't be free from them, it's not that easy!"

"You'd think… but Mello's had a plan for this for almost years now." His lips curved into a sneaky little smile. "And you two are going to help him."

I blinked and sat down in my spot. "He's planned this? All of it?"

" _Almost_ all of it." He admitted. "Like I said a few weeks ago, your raging got us another shifter to help with the plan. But if he can convince the other shifters to come out and take a stand before tomorrow, we'll have more help than we need."

Annie seemed to sink at this. "So then… you know there's others…"

He nodded. "I've known for a while, Annie. And I've known about you since we first met. Your innocence act didn't get passed me since I could practically smell the titan steam on your clothes. It didn't surprise me. And neither did Ymir."

"Ymir?!" I practically screamed. "She's…!"

"Yes, but she's a different kind aside form you two. A 'variant' I suppose you could call her. Well known in her village. They too will follow after I send word to Linda."

"Linda?" I questioned. "Is she…?"

"Another shifter, yes." He answered. "And someone very special to me. I suggest you treat her with respect when you meet her."

"But what's the plan here?!" I exclaimed.

He strode passed me and pointed off to the wall. "We break the poor animals free. And to do that, we have shift into our titan forms."

A realization came to me and I stood up from my spot. "So that's why you were training us?! To take back humanity!"

"It's the only reason to be trained as a shifter, Yeager." He said in a lower voice now. "To take humanity away from this terror that they're living and give them a reason to live once again. You know as well as I do that staying alive in a cage is no way of living. It's just a matter of not dying. The King treats you like cattle ready to die over nothing when the solution is clear. Shifters were made to save humanity and the King knew this."

I felt my eyes widen. "So then… he knew about…"

"He knew, your father knew, almost everyone knew!" He admitted. "But there were too many mistakes made, too many people were dying. The titans became unapproachable in the beginning but others became perfect specimens. People who could shift in between titan and human…"

"But why was this going on!?" I asked. "Why were people changed into those… things!"

He looked down at his feet then and took a breath. "At first it was to heal the sick. To regrow limbs and heal all those who lost in previous wars. But things got out of hand and people became these… monsters. They were uncontrollable and bloodthirsty. No one could kill them, no one could take them down. Then there were many, and those many doubled. Soon… they were everywhere.

"The drug that was successful in changing others into titan shifters were given only to those willing and able to take on the real titans. Your father was one of them… but I suppose he was close to being found out about all this and gave you the drug when Shiganshina fell. A sad fate to see him eaten by his own child."

I felt my stomach sink at this. "What do you…"

He didn't answer. Just merely said, "I'm sorry… but he had to do it."

I shuddered and shook my head violently. "No… no I don't… I don't remember…"

"It's in your memories, Eren." He told me. "Ones your father gave to you after he was devoured. He had to die in order to protect you. And that key you wear around your neck is what will lead you to everything I just told you and more. I wish I could take you there and show you what I mean, but humanity comes first. I'm sorry."

I grasped at his arm when he went to turn and looked him in the eye.

"You make a solemn promise to me that if we help you… you'll help me and the others find out why we were chosen for this. Why we were injected with this… titan serum."

He glared at me for a quick moment before grabbing my key and pulling it. "If anything, it's _you_ who has the answers. But yes, we'll find out more once everyone beyond the walls and close to them are safe. This has to be done first."

I took a shaky breath and nodded. "Agreed…

"…so what's the plan?"

* * *

 **(Mello P.O.V)**

I stood atop the roof of the barracks, taking my gun and firing it into the sky.

"ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!" I screamed, grabbing everyone's attention.

Levi had done an excellent job in getting people to follow us. As of now the entirety of the training grounds were filled with people willing and ready to leave. The only issues we had were the Military police and the nobles. Everyone else seemed to be on board.

Once everyone was quiet, I addressed them with the plan.

"I know you're all scared. I know you're all worried about the outcomes. And I know that most of the soldiers are against this plan of mine. But the truth of the matter is, we can't live here any longer!"

"But the walls were built to protect us!" Came one voice from a cult member, stirring up other voices to speak out.

I only stood taller at this though. "You're right. The walls were built to protect us…

…

…but they aren't even doing that anymore."

The crowd started to whisper and I heard a few soldiers zip up towards me on the roof. My father, Matt, Levi, Pixis and Shadis, even some from Levi's squad, were all joining me.

"Son," came my father's whispered voice, "what are you planning here?"

"You'll see," I whispered back as I took a step forward.

"People! I know you wish for freedom! I know you wish for peace and life to return to what it once was! But we cannot do so here! We cannot live in a cage any longer and watch the world burn in front of us! Once we were free, but now even titans laugh at our attempts at survival! We cannot stay here any longer! We cannot survive here!"

"Then where CAN we go, traitor!?" Came a cultist's voice. "Do you expect us to run right into titan territory!?"

"No," I replied truthfully. "I only ask that we walk past it safely, and into a new territory. An unknown one, untouched by neither human nor titan. I've been there, and I've seen the land for myself. It can be used to our own will. But only if you all are prepared to leave behind this life of being caged like animals."

"WHY SHOULD WE EVER LEAVE THIS SANCTITY!?" A cultist screamed. "WE'LL BE DEA BY THE MORNING SHOULD WE FOLLOW YOU!"

I looked back towards my father and the others as whispers of uncertainty rang out amongst the people. I thought for sure that no one would follow me due to fear…

…

…until…

"How dare you not trust this man!?" Came Armin's voice. "He's the one who's lived outside the walls for years and you say he can't be trusted to keep you all alive as well!?"

"Yeah!" Jean joined in. "And let's not forget that he was the one to kill of the rest of the titans after the attack in the Trost district! He and his companions saved us as much as any of our military did in half the time!"

"I say we follow him!" Mikasa agreed. "He can lead us to safety!"

"YOU'RE ALL BLINDER THAN BATS!" The same cultist replied. "HE'S A MENACE!"

"HE'S A HERO!" Armin yelled back, pausing for a moment to look up at me. "He's my brother. And he's taken care of me since before I can even remember. He taught me to be strong and to never give up. To always show heart in everything I did and to believe in solving the problems before me. He's stronger than any titan and braver than any soldier. If you choose not to follow him, then you'd only be choosing your own death! He can lead the way and bring us a new land! I trust him with my life and I trust him to be able to do this. I know it sounds like a lost cause, and I know it's dangerous and difficult…

…

…but nothing worth fighting for is easy."

He grinned up at me. "He taught me this." Then looked back at the horde of people. "We've sat in waiting for one hundred plus years for an answer to this problem! We were waiting for a chance for redemption! If we follow my brother, we _can_ have redemption! We can be free and live like real people! Outside the cage of these walls and away from the titans! An opportunity like this doesn't fall into our hands that easily. We must take the chance now or forever live life as cattle waiting for slaughter!"

He zipped up to the roof to join me and I couldn't help the smile on my face. "I say we finally stick it to the titans and fight back! I say we leave this cage and fly free from the monarchy! I say we show those bastard titans that we as humanity will not give up! That we continue to fight! That are heart still beats the blood of freedom! And that we, as HUMANS, shall live the lives given to us the way it should have been! NOW WHO'S WITH US!?"

A roar from the horde was their response while the ones against this plan tried to stop it. It was useless though as my own brother had gotten them pumped and ready to leave this accursed place.

I hugged my brother happily and apologized for not saying something sooner to him. His response was his confession to knowing something was up with me the entire time I'd been training him. It didn't surprise me though since Armin was ten times smarter than I ever could be. And why wouldn't he be? He was taught by me after all!

When everyone got settled down, and I commanded my students to help get wagons ready for everyone, I showed Armin to the wall that we'd exit out of. At this wall we'd be handing out pendants and orbs to families following Eren and Near back to Haven and towards the sea. From there we would cross the sea without problem since the snow was now setting in and freezing the water. Near relayed to me that by the time we got there, the water would be completely frozen and ready to walk upon.

It wasn't the sea I'd wanted to bring my brother to, but it was the best I could do. Besides, when it melted and we were on the other side, we'd get to enjoy it all we wanted.

A large boom from the wall notified me that Near was on the other side and before long Annie had climbed up the wall in her titan form and handed over a sack of orbs and pendants waiting for the families.

Of course, people were scared of her appearance up until she released herself from the titan body and began working to get everyone ready for transportation.

As soon as everyone was ready and had pendants on them or orbs in their wagons, I got Annie to shift back into a titan and climb the wall again…

…but this time…

"Mello," came Reiner's voice, "We'd like to help."

I turned to see Reiner, Bertolt, and Ymir all together and ready to fight.

I really couldn't help the smile though. "So you're the one's who knocked me off that wall."

Reiner lowered his head. "I'm sorry about that. This whole ordeal… I can't really explain…"

"Knock down this wall and once we're across the sea we'll talk about this. I trust you to keep yourself in balance though so please take my trust into consideration before shifting. And I'd only like Reiner to do this, please."

The other two nodded and backed away.

Before he shifted, however…

I handed him a pendant. "Wear this. Once you become a titan it with infuse with your muscle and give off the scent of the sea. If other titans are around, they'll turn tail pretty quick."

He nodded at this and put it on. "How long should I stay in form?"

"We'll need your strength. Stay in titan form and keep to the right of the people. Near will lead, Annie will take the rear, and Eren I'll have take the rear. With all four of you wearing pendants and others wearing them in the group, we should be alright and not meet any titans."

He nodded and got into position.

Before I could give him the word however, I felt someone place their hand on my shoulder.

"Mello," Erwin spoke up, "I will follow you, and I will convince others to do so as well… but you'd better not be wrong."

Levi, who was standing right beside him, only scoffed. "Erwin, you're forgetting this boy was raised by the same people who taught and commanded you. Him being wrong is like titans having a brain. It's unfathomable."

I chuckled at this. "And I thought you hated me."

He scoffed once again. "I hate dirt and grime. You, Mihael Keehl, are the cleanest person I have met."

"I can be dirty-minded."

"The only dirt I can do nothing about. But let's save the chit chat. I'm eager to see this land you have for us."

"It'll take a few days to get there, but even _you_ might love it despite your attitude." I dared to say.

He hummed at this before he and Erwin took their places.

I turned to Reiner. "You ready!?"

He nodded, readying his arm.

I nodded to him.

"Let's do this."


	48. Chapter 48

_**A/N: Okay, because I'm getting surgery soon, I want to finish this story before then and get it all done and out of the way so I don't have to worry too much.**_

 _ **Also, change of plans, I will be making this story into a two or three part series. So look out for that in the future.**_

 _ **I'll also be starting a new AU story soon based on only SNK characters, so again look out for that!**_

 _ **I know this is all a little rushed, and I apologize for that, but I really don't want to be making this story like... 100 chapters long. Especially after my whole operation. No, I'm not that kind of person. So, any answers you seek will be in the next story after this one.**_

 _ **Sorry about that.**_

 _ **So , I H**_ _ **ope you all enjoy the final chapter...**_

 _ **...**_

 _ **...Or IS it the final!?**_

* * *

 **(Armin P.O.V)**

The tension was high in the group as people watched in fear as Reiner, the armoured titan, as well as Near, Annie, and Eren all guard us and walk us towards our destination. More than a few soldiers were scared for their lives because of this, but it seemed to be alright…

...

…for the moment.

I felt Sorren nuzzle me lovingly and I heard Mello laugh at this.

"I can't believe Bella had chicks. And you had the nerve to keep them hidden."

I smiled sheepishly at this. "I thought they'd be good for fighting. Maybe make it a new thing for soldiers to have along with horses."

"Well, we'll see how they do at the moment. I know Bella was trained by L long before I came into the picture, so she's more loyal to him than me. But I suppose I could take in my own when they're more grown up. If you can offer one."

"I have one female and one male left. Mikasa has a girl of her own, and Jean took in a boy. He doesn't like to admit he's a daddy."

The blonde looked back at the tawny haired man and chuckled at the sight of the owl nuzzling into his hair.

"I think I'll take the female. Matt can help me train her and we'll be co-parents. As for the male… you should give it to Eren. A titan shifter commanding an owl would be a sight to behold."

I hummed at this and looked up at my brother. "So… you aren't mad at Eren? None of that was real?"

"No, Armin, it was all real. I was scared for you and I sent him away. I had to send him away for training anyway and to help with knocking down the wall. But he just gave the the reason to not speak with him. I trust him, though. I promise you that. But the trust is still limited."

"So why not say something sooner about all this?" I asked quietly. "I mean… shouldn't we know when we're being used?"

"You weren't being used. You were being trained. Where this land is there's many trees and much more land to explore. You have to be fast and quick-minded. There are no titans there… but there's still danger."

"So you trained us to leave." I finished. "You trained us right from the beginning to run faster, jump higher, and have trust in those we travelled with. And to remember the smaller things… because they might make a comeback. And all that time we thought we were being trained to fight titans and free humanity."

"You're half right." He admitted. "I mean… aren't we freeing humanity now?"

I looked back to the horde of people, from my parents and sisters, to Jean and his mother, and so on and so forth. Even a few from the military police dropped their weapons and followed us out the walls. Of course, more than a few stayed behind and began to rebuild the wall we knocked down.

But it wasn't like we couldn't get back.

I chuckled and looked back at him. "You had it all figured out from the very beginning."

He ruffled my hair slightly as we entered into the wood. From here I could smell a faint and familiar scent from far off.

Salt water.

"Armin, I've planned our escape since I saw you take your first real steps into the world. I wanted to bring you to a place where you wouldn't be hassled and where we could see the sunset without a wall blocking it out. I wanted our family to be free and to live like real humans in real lands. I knew how we would leave, I knew how we'd get there, but it was only until I got out for myself that I could find this place for you."

We walked through the forest and the smell got heavier.

Mihael chuckled with that familiar voice I hadn't heard in almost years. It was full of joy again, and I could tell he'd finally let go of his stress. "I fell off that wall and was almost sure that I'd die instantly. Never completing my promise to you. But I survived. I survived and I woke up closer to the sea than I'd ever been in my entire life. And when I found it for myself… when I saw the world I'd only dreamed to bring you to…

I knew what my purpose in life was."

I heard some gasps and cries of wonder from up ahead and Mello chuckled once again.

"I finally fulfilled my promise."

I felt a tear roll down my cheek and I ran for the front of the horde, hearing Jean call out for me and following close behind.

I zipped passed the trees and brush, the smell getting stronger and stronger, until finally I found the end of the forest…

…

…

…and felt my heart skip a beat.

In front of me lay a vast land of white that went on forever and ever. At the edge of this vast whiteness was a bit of melted water where I could see for myself what the actual sea looked like.

I scooped my hands into the water as Jean joined my side and I took a sip of the water, coughing it up almost right away.

Jean only laughed. "Salty!?"

I nodded, scraping my tongue on my sleeve. "Salty!"

The rest of the horde began to join us and the shifters shifted back into human form once more. Reiner had a bit of difficulty but Annie and Near helped him out.

Mello put his hand on my shoulder and pointed out to the horizon. "Beyond all this is a land untouched by humans. We'll go in groups so the ice can't break. I want you and Jean to lead the first group along with Near. L and his group will follow you and so on and so forth. I trust you to make the right decision when you get there."

I nodded. "Set up camp and wait by the shoreline for others. The day after we begin rebuilding. But… when will you join us?"

He shrugged. "I have to stay behind and help the stragglers. I probably won't join all of you until… maybe a week. We'll have to see. If there's too many stragglers… I might miss my chance to join you until next year."

"But Mihael…" I tried to talk to him.

He just gave me a hug. "Don't be dumb. You're my little brother after all. I won't allow stupidity."

"But… I want you to join us. You brought us here…"

"And I'll be happy to be the one let behind if need be it. You know it's safe for me here and you know I'm not gonna die so easily. My plan was to get you and the family safe. Even if it meant leaving me behind."

I sniffled slightly and hugged him back with all my might. "Don't leave me again!"

"I won't leave you. I never have." He promised me. "I'm always right there beside you, whether you can see me or not. And I won't ever forget you. Not as long as you won't forget me."

I shook my head. "I'd never forget you."

He kissed the top of my head and hugged me tight once more. "You're a good kid, Armin. You're smart and brave and you have a heart of gold. Don't ever think little of yourself after this week. After everything you've been through. We survived for a reason. To remember and move on." His hug tightened. "So move on."

"Mello!" Near called out. "We'd better be getting the groups moving! This ice won't last longer than a few days!"

He nodded at the man and looked at me with a sort of pride and sadness in his eyes. "Move on."

I nodded to him and hugged his waist tightly. "I'd better see you in the next week or I swear I'm swimming back or you! I'll get Eren to help me!"

He kissed my head again and chuckled. "Don't be dumb, brother. It's not your forte."

I smiled half-heartedly and left his side to join my family and the others. Jean and Eren were thankfully in my group and they managed to help me feel a bit better before leaving the land for good. I made one crucial mistake though…

…

…

…I looked back.

I couldn't see if he was sad or not to see me leaving, but dammit if I just wanted to turn back and stay with him. His wave to me and the others made me feel that much more hurt about leaving him behind.

But I'd see him again.

In a day…

…

…a week…

…

…a month…

…

…

…a year.

I'd see him again. And, god forbid, if I didn't…

…

…then I'd always remember him.

* * *

 **(Mello P.O.V)**

I couldn't help the tears that fell from my face. Watching my family leave was the hardest thing I had to do.

Especially knowing the circumstances.

I felt Matt pull me into a side hug as I watched them disappear beyond the horizon. "You aren't going to make it across in time… are you."

I shook my head. "I didn't have the heart to tell him."

He sighed heavily. "The I guess we're living in Haven until next winter."

I scoffed, wiping away a tear. " _'We'_?"

He only smiled cheekily. "Didn't I tell you I wasn't letting you out of my sight again?! We're in this together!"

I chuckled at his enthusiasm and hugged him back. "At least I won't be alone."

L led the second group past me before looking up and asking, "You'll bring the stragglers with you?"

I nodded. "And I'll see about getting some more supplies with us if I can. Anything you want me to work out on bringing back?"

The man shook his head. "Linda will be by in a day or two or so with the humans outside the wall. Just show her the way."

"Can do."

He made his way to Light's side when he suddenly looked back with an angry expression.

"And don't you dare burn down my home!"

"That was an accident last time! I SWEAR IT!" I exclaimed.

He smiled at me and waved. "Take care of yourself, Mello! Don't get lazy on me!"

"Never, L!" I promised him.

Watari led the next group after L. Then Naomi and her husband…

…then Rester

…and Lidner…

…Gevanni…

…Ross…

…

…

…then soon… there was no one.

I took a breath and turned to Matt. "We should go rest. Linda will be here in a few days and we'll have to work out a group plan for her as well. Maybe send a message to the other Havens."

"Other Havens?" He questioned.

I nodded, stepping down from my rock. "Some of them have people who know about the land across the sea. We'll need help to get the stragglers across and Linda's people as well."

"We should get started then. Like Near said, this ice won't last for very long."

I nodded. "I know."

He hugged me close and kissed my cheek. "You'll see them again. For now… we just have to remember them."

I hummed and leaned into his arms. "I'll never forget my family, Matt."

His hug tightened as I looked back towards the empty canvas of white.

A tear rolled down my cheek.

 _'Please don't forget me, either.'_


End file.
